A Guide to Staying Safe When You End a Relationship: How to Apply for a Non-Molestation Order or Occupation Order

If you’ve experienced domestic abuse throughout your relationship, you may find the level of abuse escalates after you tell your ex that the relationship is over. Others only experience abuse after they tell their ex that the relationship is at an end.

Whatever your circumstances, you and your children need to stay safe when you decide to end your relationship.

The family lawyers at Evolve Family Law in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire and Manchester can help you obtain injunction orders to keep you safe. Our advice doesn’t stop there. Our divorce solicitors help sort out the wider issues that led to the coercion or abuse after the relationship ended or when your relationship was in its last throes.

If you are worried about parenting arrangements or money, our compassionate family law solicitors in Cheshire and Manchester can help you navigate parenting arrangements for your children, secure a child arrangement order or a financial settlement that’s based on fairness and your needs rather than your ex’s bullying and coercion.

Consult Evolve Family Law Today. 

Staying Safe Against Domestic Abuse

Are you debating whether or not to talk to a family solicitor about an injunction? It can be a tough initial decision, as many people assume that the law won’t protect them from what they are experiencing or that consulting a family lawyer will only make things worse, assuming they won’t be believed or their ex will retaliate.

At Evolve, we explain your rights and options. Calling us doesn’t commit you to applying for an injunction, but it does give you the information to understand what help is out there and how you can get the protection of UK family law.

Gaslit Into Thinking That it Isn’t Domestic Abuse

Your ex or your relatives may have gaslit you into believing that your lived experiences don’t count. They do. You don’t have to have been hospitalised to have been the victim of domestic abuse.

The definition of domestic abuse is very wide and covers:

• Any incidents or pattern of behaviour
• By anyone perpetrating it aged over 16
• By any victim who is or was an intimate partner or family member
• Control, coercion, threatening behaviour, abuse or violence

Abuse includes:

• Physical abuse and domestic violence
• Psychological or emotional abuse, including words
• Sexual abuse or harm
• Economic abuse, financial abuse, coercive control

Victims of domestic abuse can be:

• Male or female
• In heterosexual or same sex relationships
• Wealthy and in a position of power, such as a professional or the family breadwinner
• In a marriage, civil partnership or non-married relationship

There is no stereotypical victim of domestic abuse. Anyone can be a victim. You shouldn’t worry that you don’t look the part or won’t be believed. Likewise, anyone can be a perpetrator, from a police officer, headteacher, or doctor with their public-facing and safeguarding day jobs, to accountants or company directors with important roles and too much to lose if outed as a perpetrator to their family. Also, the people you would least expect to be capable of violence or cruel words, such as stay-at-home parents.

Words, Actions and Threats Count as Domestic Abuse

Family lawyers, the police and the family court all treat words, actions and threats as domestic abuse. What’s important is the impact of the domestic abuse on you or your children.

You may worry that you won’t get an injunction order as you don’t have hospital records or other evidence to prove the domestic abuse. However, lots of injunction applicants don’t have that sort of evidence. The court will look at your ex-partner’s pattern of behaviour, such as their coercive control or emotional abuse.

You may need time and family or professional help in understanding the impact of the domestic violence on you, as you may have become immune to it because you have experienced it for so long or have been gaslit into believing that abuse is a normal and everyday aspect of family life.

The Impact of Domestic Abuse on You and Your Children

Sometimes the impact of domestic abuse is obvious for all to see: a black eye, an arm in plaster, your ex arrested and charged with assault. However, you may struggle to see what you have experienced as amounting to abuse.

Here is how domestic abuse can impact some families:

• Accepting control beyond the social norms
• Saying sorry as an automatic reflex
• Learnt response to accept the abuse
• Children who are aggressive towards the abused parent through learnt behaviour
• Children who are too quiet and well-behaved
• Physical symptoms in adults or children, such as physical stress symptoms

It’s not uncommon for victims of domestic abuse to only recognise the impact of the domestic abuse on them or their children until after they have left their partner.

Clients tell our family lawyers that they know things have changed for the better because they can now relax and hear their kids laughing. Minor issues that, in your previous life, would have escalated into jibes, arguments or blows are now just everyday inconveniences of no consequence.   

Applying for an Injunction Order to Stay Safe

First off, you may not need an injunction order. Our family law solicitors will talk to you and assess your circumstances and explain why they think an injunction order is necessary.

Reasons why you may not need an order:

• The police have charged your ex-partner with a criminal offence, and your ex is subject to police bail conditions
• Your ex has left the family home and has agreed in writing not to return, and you believe your ex-partner won’t go back on their word because of the personal or career implications of you applying for an injunction order
• Your former partner’s solicitor has given formal promises or undertakings, and you want to accept those behaviour assurances rather than apply for an injunction

Every situation is different, so in some scenarios an injunction will be necessary even though an ex has been prosecuted. An experienced family solicitor will help you weigh up your options and work out the best route to your feeling safe.

Injunction Orders

There are two types of injunction order:

• Non-molestation order
• Family home order – ouster or occupation order

The names of the injunctions don’t really describe what they stop.

A non-molestation order against your ex covers all the domestic abuse they have subjected you to, such as physical assaults, harassment and emotional abuse. It’s best to be upfront with your lawyer about the extent of your ex’s behaviour so the non-molestation order injunction covers the behaviour that’s affected you.

Non-molestation orders can cover:

• Your ex encouraging his friends or family to harass you
• Your ex contacting your employer or work colleagues
• Your ex inundating you with messages via social media and subjecting you to online stalking and harassment
• Your ex telling the children that you won’t be satisfied until they are in prison, that you are evil, that you don’t love them…   

An ouster or occupation order relates to the family home. The Family Law Act refers to a dwelling house, but that’s widely defined as a property that was the family home or was intended to be the family home.

A dwelling house can be:

• Rented
• Owned by you or your ex
• Jointly owned
• A property you planned to move into as the family home

A family home injunction order does not change legal ownership or long-term occupation rights. It’s a temporary order to keep you and your children safe until:

• You get the tenancy agreement changed to your name, or
• You get a financial court order that deals with what happens to the family home and your housing, or
• If you are unmarried, you make a TOLATA claim or a Schedule One Children Act 1989 claim for housing for your children

A family solicitor will discuss the likelihood of your getting the financial court order or TOLATA order that you want and the timescales so you can make a decision on whether to apply for a non-molestation order and/or a family home injunction order.

Unless it’s an emergency, you should not move out of the family home until you take specialist legal advice.

Leaving the Family Home

The best quick advice a family lawyer can give is that unless you are in immediate danger, you shouldn’t move out of the family home until you have taken legal advice. 

Often clients come to our divorce solicitors after they have left the family home because their ex told them something to make them leave:

Ouster Orders and Occupation Orders

Lawyers talk about occupation orders and ousters as if they are interchangeable, but they are different.

An ouster order ousts your ex from the family home. The order is only necessary if your ex is still living at the family home. If they have already left, then you may need an occupation order that says you can occupy the family home to the exclusion of your partner until you either reach an agreement over who gets to keep the family home or the court decides whether it should be sold or transferred to one of you.

Ouster and occupation orders can be made to suit your circumstances. Under Section 33 of the Family Law Act 1996, the judge has the power to order:

• Your ex allows you to enter and remain in the family home or part of it
• To regulate the occupation of the family home by either of you
• To restrict or suspend your ex-partner’s right to occupy the family home
• If your ex-partner has home rights to the family home and you are their spouse or civil partner, to restrict or terminate those rights
• To require your former partner to leave the family home or part of it
• To exclude your ex from a defined area in which the family home is included

The Act refers to ‘associated persons’ and orders over the ’dwelling house ’. If you are unsure if you are an associated person or if your property counts as the family home or dwelling house, speak to an injunction solicitor.

Injunction Law

Injunction law and occupation orders are governed by:

• Section 33 of the Family Law Act 1996
• The Domestic Abuse Act 2021

Factors the Court Considers When Making an Ouster or Occupation Order

When deciding whether or not to make an ouster or occupation order, and the scope of the order, the court must have regard to all the circumstances including—

• The housing needs and housing resources of you and your ex and any relevant child
• The financial resources of you and your ex
• The likely effect of any order, or decision not to make an order, on the health, safety or well-being of you, your ex and any relevant child
• The conduct of you and your ex in relation to each other

Importantly, the Act says that if it appears to the court that you (the applicant) or any relevant child is likely to suffer significant harm attributable to the conduct of your ex-partner if an order is not made, the court shall make an injunction order unless:

• Your former partner or any relevant child is likely to suffer significant harm if the order is made; and
• The harm likely to be suffered by your ex or a child is as great as, or greater than, the harm that you or any relevant child are likely to suffer if the injunction order isn’t made (a balancing of harm test)

How Evolve Family Law Can Help You

If you are stressing about how best to safely end your relationship or working out how to appease your ex so the kids don’t get to see you verbally abused at contact handovers, then our family lawyers can help.

Our divorce solicitors and cohabitation lawyers have helped many people in your situation with:

• Initial confidential consultations so you understand your options
• Practical legal advice on the implications of separating and what you need to plan for
• Non-molestation order, ouster and occupation order applications with strong applications and statements for court explaining how domestic abuse has impacted you and why you need an order to keep you safe
• Child arrangement order, prohibited steps order and specific issue order applications to protect your children
• Family law financial advice so you get the money you are entitled to, such as Child Maintenance Service, top-up child support, interim spousal maintenance or school fee orders   
• Legal advice so you are supported in between family mediation sessions or advised that mediation isn’t the best alternative dispute resolution option for you
• Checking separation agreements or draft financial court orders to make sure the orders protect you
• Converting agreements or mediated settlements into binding court orders
• Enforcing injunctions, financial or children law orders   

If you don’t know where to begin, start with Evolve Family Law. You will get clarity on your options and advice on how to protect yourself and your children.

We’re family law specialists who put your new beginning first.

Consult Evolve Family Law Today.

Frequently Asked Questions on Injunctions

Do I have to go to court to get an injunction?

The court makes an injunction order at a court hearing, so you will need to go to court with your family lawyer to secure your order. Your ex-partner may not be at the hearing if it’s a without notice hearing. If you are worried about going to court, your injunction solicitor can explain the process and discuss any safety concerns.

What is an on notice hearing?

There are two types of injunction hearing – on notice and without notice. In an on notice hearing, your ex is told about the hearing date and can come to the hearing and object to the injunction.

What is a without notice hearing?

A without notice hearing takes place in the absence of your ex-partner. A without notice hearing is usually only permitted by the court if you are applying for a non-molestation order, and the application is urgent.   

If you are applying for a non-molestation order and an occupation order, the judge may grant you the non-molestation order at a without notice hearing but list your occupation order application for a on notice hearing.

How can I protect my children from my ex-partner?

A non-molestation order or an occupation order can cover your children as well as you. If you are worried about your ex taking the children or not returning them after a contact visit, your family lawyer can apply for a child arrangement order or a prohibited steps order.

Do I need an injunction order if the police are involved?

Possibly; it depends on whether your ex has been arrested, charged, or prosecuted, and whether there are bail conditions or orders that protect you. A family law solicitor can check the scope of the police involvement and advise on the need for an injunction order.

My ex is sorry and says I don’t need an injunction order

If your ex says that they are sorry, you may still need an injunction order to keep you and your children safe. Sorry is easy to say but hard to act on if your ex has a track record of abusive behaviour. Talk to an injunction solicitor to get an independent view on whether you need an injunction.

How long does an occupation order last for?

The court can make an ouster or occupation order for a specified period, until the occurrence of a specified event or until further order. Most orders remain in force until the court decides who gets to keep the family home in either proceedings brought under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 (married couples or civil partners) or TOLATA legislation (unmarried couples).

What is the balance of harm test in an ouster or occupation order application?

A family home injunction order is a draconian measure as it is an order telling someone that they can’t live in or return to a home that they would otherwise be entitled to live in.

The balance of harm test weighs the potential harm to you (the injunction applicant and your children) if the order is not made against the harm to your ex and any relevant children if the order is made. A family law solicitor can explain how the judge will balance the competing needs and advise on the other factors the court considers.

Consult Evolve Family Law Today.

Holmes Chapel, Cheshire
Whitefield, Manchester