Family Law Articles & Advice

Any separation or divorce is a painful process, but it can be challenging when you are leaving an abusive partner. At Evolve Family Law, our divorce solicitors have experience in helping people separating from abusive partners.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Deciding to leave an abusive partner It is difficult to decide to leave a husband, wife or partner. People often think that the decision to separate is easy if you are leaving an abusive partner, as ending the relationship is the ‘obvious’ thing to do. As specialist divorce lawyers helping those involved in abusive relationships, our solicitors know that it is no easier to leave an abusive partner than it is to leave a caring and kind partner, where the relationship is at an end because the couple have drifted apart. There is help available to decide whether ending a relationship is the right thing for you. Counsellors, therapists and domestic violence charities all offer a sounding board. Family and friends can also be a good source of support if they are good listeners and able to let you make your own decision. A divorce lawyer can give you the legal information you need before you decide to leave your partner.   How do you leave an abusive partner? You may think the answer to the question ‘how do you leave an abusive partner?’ is obvious – you get up and leave. However, Cheshire divorce solicitors who work with people in abusive relationships know that it isn’t as easy as that. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is particularly important to plan your departure to make sure you and your children are safe. Here are our divorce solicitors' tips on how to leave an abusive partner: Get help and support – the support can be from friends, family, your doctor or counsellor, the police, a domestic violence agency or another source. Have an escape plan – if you are leaving a partner, it is normal to discuss why the relationship hasn’t worked out and why you are either leaving or want them to go. If you are leaving an abusive partner, it may not be safe to have that discussion. You may either need to leave without telling them about your plans or where you are going, or you may need injunction orders to protect you. Be practical – if you are making phone calls or using the internet, or you or the children are posting things on Facebook, think about whether your abusive partner will be able to trace you from those activities. If you are planning on leaving, think about what you will need to take with you to avoid returning for essential items. If the children are in school, make sure teachers know why you may need to collect the children early or arrange for someone else to do so. Protect yourself – if you are at immediate risk, then don’t follow any escape plan but get immediate help from the police. If you are not at immediate risk but are worried about your safety, then speak to a divorce solicitor about getting emergency injunction orders (called non-molestation and occupation orders) or children orders (called child arrangements orders or prohibited steps orders) to safeguard your children. Take legal advice – ideally, you should take legal advice before you leave an abusive partner so that you know where you stand legally and whether, for example, you can make them leave the family home, if you can change the locks, stop contact or get interim financial support. Be strong – you may think that you are not strong enough to leave or to withstand the pressure from your partner to return or their attempts to find you and exact revenge because you left. Leaving isn’t always the easy option, and that is why you may need support to stay strong.   Is my partner abusive? You may think that the question ‘Is my partner abusive?’ should have a straightforward answer. However, it isn’t uncommon for those leaving abusive relationships not to recognise their partner’s behaviour as abuse. That can be for a variety of reasons, such as: You understandably don’t want to be a victim of abuse, and so minimise your partner’s behaviour. You have a narrow view of what amounts to abusive behaviour because you have been coached into thinking that psychological abuse or coercive and controlling behaviour is not abusive. You have been told that your partner’s behaviour is normal or that it only occurs because of your demands. Your partner isn’t abusive to the children, so it must be your behaviour that is at fault and not that of your partner. Most injunction lawyers understand why a victim does not see their spouse’s behaviour as abusive during the relationship, and therefore why it is so hard for the victim to recognise their spouse’s behaviour as abuse when they separate from their abusive partner. If you have been told repeatedly that you are ‘mental’ or the one with the ‘problem’, it is all too easy to get sucked into believing that the abuse only occurs because your partner cares about you.   What is domestic abuse?   The definition of domestic abuse is extensive. Nowadays, courts and divorce lawyers recognise that abuse in a relationship isn’t limited to physical assaults. Domestic abuse includes: Verbal and emotional abuse, such as belittling you or telling you that you are mentally unwell or not a fit parent. Financial control, such as withholding money from you, so you are reliant on your partner. Intimidation and mind games, such as telling you that they will kill themselves or leave their job, so you will end up with nothing but guilt if you leave. Exercising coercion and control, such as not letting you see your family or being unwilling to let you go out to work or to have a bank account. There are numerous examples of what amounts to abusive behaviour in a relationship. Sometimes it takes talking to a friend, counsellor or divorce solicitor about your relationship to recognise the behaviour for what it is and to start to acknowledge the physical and emotional impact of your partner’s abusive behaviour on you.   Leaving an abusive partner If you are contemplating leaving an abusive partner, the number one priority is to make sure that you are safe and are empowered to do so. It is stressful leaving any relationship, but if your partner is abusive, the physical departure can be a dangerous trigger point unless handled carefully. Just as importantly, if you have been in an abusive relationship for a long time, it can be easy to succumb to promises of change or being told that you can’t leave because you won’t be able to take the children with you, or you won’t get a penny. It can feel as if there is no escape from an abusive partner, but that isn’t the case. With emotional and legal support, you can leave an abusive partner safely and rebuild your life.   Getting help with an abusive partner When you live with an abusive partner, it is hard to reach out and ask for help. That can be down to feelings of embarrassment or because you love your partner and want to stay in the relationship, but want the abuse to stop. Divorce lawyers find it is often the case that those in abusive relationships are too frightened to speak out and ask for help, as they fear what will happen if they do. That is understandable, as the last thing that you or they want is for your situation to be any worse than it is. If you are worried about seeing a divorce solicitor, then you can come to a meeting to discuss leaving an abusive partner with a friend or member of your family. They can help give you the courage to go, but remember that whilst friends and family can offer emotional and practical support, the decision to leave must come from you. If you don’t have friends or family to support you (or would be worried about things getting back to your partner), many supportive organisations and charities are there to help with information and advice, as well as individuals, such as your GP or a counsellor, who can support you in your decision to leave your abusive partner. Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Divorcing an abusive partner You do not need to refer to your partner’s behaviour to obtain a divorce. With the introduction of no-fault divorce proceedings, all you need to do is file an application saying that you think the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Even if your spouse does not share your view, they cannot oppose your divorce application. In the divorce proceedings, you will need a divorce solicitor who can stand up to your partner, ensure that you and your children get the legal protection you need, and help you make your own decisions about what you want.   Children and leaving an abusive partner It isn’t unusual for divorce lawyers to be told that someone has stayed in an abusive relationship for years, for the sake of the children. That can be down to a whole variety of factors, such as: Your abusive partner has told you that they will get custody of the children, and they won’t let you see the children because they will turn the children against you. You think that you would have to leave the family home, and you are worried that this will affect the children. The children love their other parent, and you don’t want them to grow up in a single-parent family. The timing to separate isn’t right because of a child’s exams or the start of primary or secondary school. The research into children and separation and divorce shows that: Children are remarkably resilient. Often, children know when there is something wrong with their parents’ relationship. Although the children may not have seen any domestic violence or physical assaults, because you have protected them, they can still pick up on the vibe in the household and be emotionally affected by it. Children prefer to live in two households rather than have their parents living together in an abusive relationship with a toxic atmosphere.   Child arrangement orders when leaving an abusive partner It is natural to feel very anxious about childcare arrangements if you are planning to leave an abusive partner. The priority is to ensure that you and the children are safe from any domestic violence (or the children witnessing it), so injunction applications can be made to safeguard you and the children. In addition, you can apply for a child arrangements order. In an emergency, a child arrangements order can be made quickly to protect the children. A child arrangement order can: Say the children should live with you, on a short-term or long-term basis. Set out whether the children should see your partner, and if so, whether the contact visits should take place in a supervised setting (for example, at a contact centre or in the presence of a member of your family or a trusted friend) and spell out the safe handover and collection arrangements.   Abuse allegations and child arrangement order applications If you and your abusive partner need to go to court to sort out the child care arrangements, it is essential that: Your husband or wife’s abusive behaviour and its impact on you and the children is explained by your solicitor as part of the court process; and The court looks at whether a finding of fact hearing is needed to decide on the domestic abuse allegations before it makes orders under the Children Act. If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the abusive parent if the court believes that the physical and emotional safety of you and your children can be protected before, during and after the contact. Many divorcing partners are adamant that they want their children to see their other parent, even though there has been abuse within the relationship. That is because they want their children to have a relationship with both parents. If you are satisfied that the children will be safe during contact, then it is essential to ensure that you are also safe during the handover of the children for contact. For example, you may not want your abusive partner coming to the house to collect the children, but would prefer a neutral handover where there is less chance that your partner will ‘kick off’ or say anything that will upset the children.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   Leaving an abusive partner and getting a financial settlement It is natural to worry that even if you are safely able to leave an abusive partner, they will make sure that you ‘end up with nothing’. Divorce solicitors are experts in making sure that not only are you protected from an abusive partner, but that you also receive a fair financial settlement and that you are not bullied or coerced into accepting less than you need or are entitled to. Your lawyer can either negotiate with your ex-partner or start financial court proceedings. Whether you negotiate or start court proceedings, the important thing is that you have a solicitor on your side, making sure: You have the information and financial disclosure orders necessary to make financial decisions. Any financial settlement is reality tested to make sure that the financial court order meets your needs and is capable of enforcement if your partner remains difficult and uncooperative.   Legal help with an abusive partner Abusive partners tend to be bullies and don’t want or like anyone standing up to them. Courts don’t like bullies, so whether you are being physically assaulted, emotionally abused or financially controlled, there is help available from divorce solicitors and the family court to: Protect you through the making of non-molestation and occupation injunction orders. Financially protect you through the making of child support, spousal maintenance, property and pension orders and orders to enforce compliance if your abusive partner won’t comply with court orders. Protect the family through child arrangement orders to ensure your children are safe.   Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly. We provide the expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice that you need when you are separating from an abusive partner and need someone on your side.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Our latest blogs

If you are married to a narcissist, you may need specialist legal advice to sort out your separation and divorce. Otherwise, you may find that your needs or those of your children are not adequately addressed. At Evolve Family Law, our Northwest divorce solicitors are experts in advising in divorce, children and financial proceedings where one spouse has behaved unreasonably, is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder.   Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form. Is my spouse a narcissist? In any blog on divorcing a narcissist, it is important to look at some of the essential traits of a narcissist to help you understand if your spouse has the personality characteristics of a narcissist. The Oxford dictionary defines a narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. Narcissists are said to have the following personality traits: A sense of self-importance. A sense of entitlement. Requiring praise and attention. Willing to exploit and use others without feeling a sense of guilt or shame. Able to demean and belittle other people without worrying about the impact of their behaviour on others. Able to live in their fantasy world where they are the centre of attention.   Do any of those traits sound like your husband or wife? If so, you may need help from a counsellor to talk through how you feel about remaining in the relationship. Our divorce lawyers can advise you on the likely legal implications if you decide to separate or, if you have decided to separate or divorce, apply for a no-fault divorce and help you reach a childcare arrangement and financial court order. Getting divorced from a narcissist Divorcing is stressful, even when it is amicable. However, when your husband or wife is a narcissist, it can feel as if there is no escape from your marriage. There is, but you will need support, both legal and emotional.   If you are married to someone who exhibits narcissistic traits or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then you need to accept that your husband or wife won’t think that they are at fault or that anything they do is wrong. It can, therefore, be futile to have direct discussions on the reasons behind why you think the relationship is at an end. If they are a narcissist, they won’t engage or accept any fault.   A narcissist will turn any discussion about your marriage and separation into a tirade on looking at the impact of what is happening on them, rather than the impact on you or the children. If you have the sort of personality that gets stressed or know you will end up too frazzled to deal with the separation if your spouse starts to belittle you, then it may be best to leave things in the hands of your divorce solicitor. A divorce lawyer who has experience with narcissistic personality disorders and divorce will have the strategies to sort out your separation and divorce.  Divorce proceedings and narcissists Getting divorced is now straightforward, as you do not need to blame your spouse, nor do they need to blame you. That’s because the UK government has introduced no-fault divorce.   In no-fault divorce proceedings, the applicant for a divorce must be able to say that, in their opinion, the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The applicant’s opinion is sufficient. There is no need for the other spouse to agree and no need to substantiate the claim that the marriage is at an end with examples of unreasonable behaviour.   When a narcissist thinks that they are not in control of a situation, they can try to stop you from doing what you plan. That is not possible with no-fault divorce proceedings, as the applicant can decide to start the divorce application, and the respondent only has very limited grounds to object to the divorce.  The grounds to object to the divorce are limited to areas such as: You are not legally married. The respondent has already initiated divorce proceedings in another country. The English court does not have the jurisdiction to grant a divorce as neither spouse is domiciled or habitually resident in England and Wales.   Although a spouse with a narcissistic personality disorder cannot stop you from getting divorced, they can make the process challenging. Their behaviour may deteriorate, and that can be a concern if you are still living together in the family home or trying to negotiate a financial settlement or parenting arrangements once you are living in separate households. You need a strong, no-nonsense solicitor on your side who won’t get caught up in your spouse’s tirades but instead will focus on your divorce and sorting out the arrangements for the children and the financial settlement. Getting help with a narcissist spouse When you are separating or getting divorced from a narcissist spouse, you need all the legal and emotional support you can get. Your friends and family may not realise what you have been through and are currently coping with. That is because your spouse may present a ‘front’ to the outside world where they appear charming and worried about you and your ‘breakdown.’   First and foremost, there is no point in challenging what your spouse is saying to friends and family. If you do, then it is only likely to fuel matters as your husband or wife won’t be able to see the error of their ways as they are only able to see things from their perspective. That can be very hard for you to cope with. That’s why seeing a counsellor or therapist can help you see the situation you are in for what it is, rather than accepting your spouse’s interpretation of events based on their fantasy world where you are the only one at fault. Divorce and the narcissist parent When you are divorcing a husband or wife with narcissist traits or who has a narcissistic personality disorder, it is easy to feel very guilty about your children and in a quandary about what to do about childcare arrangements. Whilst your spouse is only likely to be interested in themselves, they may ask the court to order that the children live with him or her as part of their mind control games or because they know their stance will frighten you.   Whilst it can be tempting to say that a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder should not have contact with their children after the separation or divorce, this may not be realistic. For example, older children may want ongoing contact with the other parent, or you may need help with childcare. What’s more, if you say that you do not want your child to have contact with the other parent, they may raise accusations of parental alienation even though all you are trying to do is to protect your child from a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder. If you and your spouse end up in court over the childcare arrangements, it is essential that: Your husband or wife’s narcissistic traits are outlined neutrally, and The impact of their behaviour on you and your children is fully explained. That is important because many of the behaviours of a narcissist amount to abuse, such as controlling or coercive behaviour.   In an application for a child arrangement order, the court must consider any allegations of domestic abuse carefully. Abuse includes emotional abuse or psychological abuse of you or the children. If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the narcissistic parent if the court is satisfied that the physical and emotional safety of the child and the parent with whom the child lives can, as far as possible, be secured before, during and after the contact. An experienced Cheshire divorce solicitor can put the case in children proceedings for expert reports on a parent with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits. A psychologist or other expert can be asked to report on either the parent or on the whole family and assess the impact of the narcissistic parent’s behaviour on you and the children. Many divorcing partners are wary about labelling a narcissistic parent an ‘abuser’, but it is essential to recognise that abuse isn’t just physical and the effects of coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious on you and your children. A specialist divorce lawyer can help you recognise that and work out childcare arrangements that best protect your children, or can robustly represent you in court proceedings.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How to get a financial settlement from a narcissist Usually, a finance solicitor will recommend that they negotiate with your spouse to reach a financial settlement or provide legal advice to you between family mediation sessions. If your spouse is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then the advice may be different. That’s because it can be impossible to negotiate with a narcissist, as they always think they are right and can’t see anyone else’s point of view, other than their own. To the narcissist, it is all about their financial wants and needs and not yours or the children’s needs.   If you start financial court proceedings, there is a court timetable put in place so your spouse can’t delay or prevaricate, and the judge can ultimately decide on what financial orders are made. No one likes to think that a judge will take control of the family finances and make a financial court order deciding whether, for example, the family home should be sold or if you should get a share of the pension or the family business. However, when you are dealing with a narcissist, there may be little alternative as your spouse won’t be prepared to compromise.   You may think that you know your spouse and that even if the family judge makes an order to transfer the family home into your sole name, your spouse will not sign the paperwork to do so. The court is used to dealing with spouses who won’t cooperate. If necessary, the judge can sign the property paperwork on behalf of your spouse. The court also has the power to make financial disclosure orders and to draw adverse inferences if your spouse won’t accept the authority of the court.   Narcissistic spouses like to think that they are very powerful, during the relationship and the divorce, children and financial proceedings. That is why it is so important that you choose a divorce solicitor who won’t be intimidated or fazed by your spouse’s behaviour. Instead, your divorce solicitor will focus on securing your divorce and obtaining children and financial court orders that best meet yours and your children’s needs.   Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice with experience in handling divorces where a spouse has a narcissistic personality disorder. Contact us today and let us help you Our latest blogs

A guide on all you need to know about no-fault divorce In this guide, our divorce solicitors answer your questions about how to get a no-fault divorce. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. What is no-fault divorce? No-fault divorce refers to the divorce process. It is called no fault because fault has been removed from divorce court proceedings. This means you no longer start divorce proceedings based on adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Instead, divorce proceedings are started because the marriage has broken down. Grounds for a no-fault divorce To apply for a no-fault divorce, you need to file a divorce application and state that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. You do not need to say why the marriage is at an end. You also don’t need to have been separated for a specified period. As the grounds for divorce are simplified, it is no longer possible to contest or oppose a divorce other than in very unusual circumstances. Who can apply for a no-fault divorce? In no-fault divorce proceedings, there are three options: You and your spouse can apply jointly for a no-fault divorce, or You can apply for the divorce on your own, or Your husband or wife can make the divorce application. Whether you apply jointly or individually, the divorce process is similar. If you apply together, you are referred to as Applicant One and Applicant Two. If you submit the application, you will be the applicant, and your spouse will be the respondent. From a divorce solicitor's perspective, we would generally prefer you to either make the application jointly or to make the application yourself, so that you are in full or partial control of the divorce process and it does not get stalled if you want to obtain your divorce as quickly as possible. You might also be interested in [related_posts] The no-fault divorce court process The no-fault divorce process consists of four steps: You apply for a divorce – this could be a joint application or an application made by one of you. The applicant confirms they want to go ahead with the divorce. The court makes a conditional order – this used to be called the decree nisi of divorce. After a wait of six weeks, the applicant can apply for the final order – this used to be called the decree absolute of divorce. Between steps one and two, there is a twenty-week wait. That period can’t be shortened as it is part of the no-fault divorce law. How long does a no-fault divorce take? Divorce solicitors estimate that no-fault divorces will take approximately six months from the start of the divorce application to the final divorce order. However, the timescales may be slightly longer if there are delays between the four stages. For example, because you want extra time to reflect or because you don’t want to progress the divorce proceedings over the Christmas period. A no-fault divorce is therefore not a quickie divorce, but it does have two advantages: There is no need to blame your husband or wife for the marriage breakdown, and so there is no need to negotiate the grounds for the divorce application. A no-fault divorce may reduce acrimony and help you reach an agreement on child custody and contact, or the financial settlement. No-fault divorce, child custody, and contact In a no-fault divorce, the court is not asked to decide on the future parenting arrangements for your children after your divorce. Ideally, you will be able to agree on the parenting arrangements either directly, through help from family law solicitors, or in family mediation. If you are unable to reach a childcare agreement, either you or your spouse can make a separate application for a child arrangement order. This order will say if the care of the children is shared and will specify the amount of parenting time the child will spend with each parent. If you are concerned about child abduction or you want to move overseas with your children after your divorce, then you can apply to the family court for a prohibited steps order or relocation order. No-fault divorce and financial settlements In a no-fault divorce, the court is not asked to decide who gets what assets in a financial settlement unless either you or your husband or wife asks the court to do so. If you can reach a financial settlement by agreement, you can jointly ask the court to approve a financial consent order. If you can’t reach a financial settlement by agreement, either one of you can file a document, called a form A, to start financial proceedings. There is then a series of court hearings to ensure that financial disclosure takes place and assets are valued. Afterwards, a judge holds a final hearing to decide on the financial settlement and issue a financial court order. At any stage in the financial proceedings, you can reach an agreement and ask the court to approve a financial consent order. The fact that divorce proceedings are based on no fault will not affect the amount you receive as a financial settlement, because if a husband or wife has behaved very badly, you can refer to this in the financial proceedings. However, behaviour must be very extreme to affect a financial settlement, and the behaviour needs to be linked to financial matters. For example, allegations of domestic violence may be relevant to the financial settlement if the victim of domestic abuse cannot work and needs spousal maintenance for a period of time because of the physical or emotional impact of the domestic violence on their ability to find employment or to return to work.   If you have questions about the no-fault divorce court process or need advice on children or financial settlement issues, the divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law are here to help.   For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Frequently Asked Questions on No-fault Divorce Do you need to say why you want to get divorced? In no-fault divorce proceedings, you do not need to explain why you want a divorce. The only requirement is that you can state, in your opinion, that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. Can my spouse oppose my no-fault divorce application? It is difficult for a spouse to oppose a no-fault divorce application because all the person applying has to state is that they believe the marriage has broken down irretrievably. If your spouse disagrees, this does not give them grounds to oppose your application. If no-fault divorce proceedings are opposed, it is normally because the court lacks jurisdiction. This could be because one spouse says there are ongoing divorce proceedings in another country, or that the court in England does not have jurisdiction as neither spouse is a British citizen and neither is domiciled or habitually resident in the UK. Jurisdiction is a complex issue. Therefore, it's best to consult a family law solicitor if jurisdiction is queried. How long must we be married for to initiate divorce proceedings? You must have been married for at least 12 months before you can initiate divorce proceedings. If you have been married for less than 12 months, a family law solicitor can help get the paperwork ready so you can file the divorce proceedings on the 12-month anniversary. They can also help you reach a financial agreement on how your assets are split and draft a separation agreement. How long must we be separated for before we can start divorce proceedings? There is no minimum period of separation before a husband or wife can apply for a divorce. The only requirement is that you can state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. How much does a no-fault divorce cost? At Evolve Family Law, we offer fixed-fee divorce services for most divorce applications. If your separation is relatively amicable, our One Lawyer Amicable Divorce Service may help you both file for divorce, obtain an agreed financial consent order and draw up a parenting plan. The service is provided by specially trained family lawyers who can advise and prepare all necessary legal documents to obtain your final order of divorce and financial consent order. For expert advice, complete our online enquiry form.

It may surprise some people, but family lawyers are regularly asked the question ‘how do I prepare to separate?’ The earlier you speak to a divorce solicitor about a planned separation, the more the lawyer can help you reach an informed decision about whether to separate and assist you in making your separation as painless as possible. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Where to start with planning a separation The obvious place to start if you are thinking about a separation is to talk to your partner, but although that seems the sensible thing to do, it isn’t always the best approach because: You may need legal advice before speaking to your partner because your divorce solicitor’s advice on the potential child custody and financial settlement options may affect either your decision to separate or the timing of your separation. Talking to a counsellor about your relationship difficulties may help you decide if you want to separate, to suggest couple counselling or a trial separation to your partner. Alternatively, counselling may confirm that you want to separate and start divorce proceedings. You may need to take protective action first. This may apply to you if your partner is abusive, has a history of hiding assets, or you are worried that if you tell your partner that you plan to leave, they may take the children or destroy sentimental possessions. If you do decide to speak to your partner about a separation, then it may not come as a complete surprise to them. However, sometimes a partner has no idea about what their husband or wife is planning, so they need time to accept your decision before being able to have a constructive discussion with you about the practicalities of your separation. Talking to your children about the planned separation Knowing when and how best to speak to the children about a planned separation is always a tough decision. Some parents believe it is best not to inform the children about a planned separation until they need to know, for example, when the house goes on the market or when divorce proceedings are initiated. However, waiting to talk to the children can be more unsettling for them, as they may pick up on the atmosphere in the family home or hear things from grandparents or friends, but be too embarrassed or worried to discuss the separation with you. In an ideal world, both parents should sit down together to discuss a separation with their children. That conversation can be challenging because you probably won't have agreed on the parenting arrangements or know if you will be able to stay in the family home with the children. Practical steps when separating Separating from a partner is very emotional, so it can help to focus on practicalities such as: Temporary living arrangements. Parenting arrangements. The financial paperwork you need to sort out a fair financial settlement. The temporary living arrangements You should not leave the family home without first seeking legal advice to determine if it is the best option for your personal and financial circumstances. Your options include: Asking your partner to leave the family home voluntarily. Starting injunction proceedings to get a non-molestation order and occupation order so you can safely stay in the family home until long-term decisions are made and a financial settlement is reached. Applying for temporary spousal maintenance from the court or for child support from the Child Maintenance Service so you can afford to stay in the family home until you can reach a financial agreement or the court makes a financial court order. If your separation is amicable, then it may be possible for you to continue to live together at the family home until you reach a long-term financial settlement.   Whether you both agree to stay at the family home or one of you is moving into rented accommodation or staying with family, you need to reach an agreement on temporary financial matters, including the payment of household bills and access to the joint account. A divorce lawyer can negotiate financial support for you or support you through the family mediation process. The parenting arrangements The temporary parenting arrangements for your children will depend greatly on whether you continue to live together at the family home until you decide what to do with the house. Sorting out the long-term arrangements for the children may not be practical until you know one another’s housing plans and whether, for example, it will be feasible for mid-week contact to take place. Most parents can reach an agreement on childcare arrangements. If you are unable to do so, then a family mediator may be able to help you resolve the dispute. If an agreement is not possible, either parent can apply to the court for a child arrangement order. The financial paperwork You can’t reach an informed financial settlement with your partner until you both have an up-to-date understanding of your financial situation. That may involve finding out things like the value of the family home, the outgoings associated with the family home, the amount you have in savings, or the value of the family business or pension. If you have a financial advisor or accountant, they may have some of this information, such as an investment portfolio document or draft family business accounts. If your partner is not willing to provide financial disclosure, then you can apply to the court for a financial court order. The family court will require your spouse to complete a Form E document and provide financial disclosure as part of the court process. You might also be interested in [related_posts] Understand your separation options Before deciding to separate, it is helpful to understand your separation options and the ways to reach an agreement on custody and parenting arrangements, as well as your financial settlement. When it comes to separation, your options are broadly: A trial separation. A permanent separation. If neither of you wants to initiate divorce proceedings, you may want to record any agreement reached regarding the family home, other property, and financial support in a separation agreement. Starting divorce proceedings. During divorce proceedings, a court may be asked to issue a financial court order to record the terms of any agreed-upon financial settlement. If you can’t reach an agreement through negotiation or family mediation, the court can decide how your assets and property should be divided and make a financial court order.   It is often assumed that if you go ahead with a separation that you and your partner will end up in court proceedings over custody of the children, who gets the family home or whether you will get a share of your spouse’s pension. However, experienced Manchester divorce solicitors say that you don’t have to end up in court. It is often possible to reach an agreement over starting divorce proceedings, the parenting arrangements for the children and the financial settlement through taking legal advice and getting your solicitor to negotiate a parenting plan and financial settlement or advising you about your legal options during family mediation. Seeking advice on your separation can provide you with the information you need to make an informed and supported decision about whether to separate and how to best plan for your future.   For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

If you are separating or divorcing and have questions about how your husband or wife’s behaviour will affect your financial settlement, then the divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law can help you.  Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Divorce proceedings and unreasonable behaviour Since the introduction of no-fault divorce proceedings, all you need to say to obtain a divorce is that, in your opinion, your marriage has irretrievably broken down. There is no longer a requirement to explain the reasons behind the breakdown of the relationship, and no need to cite and give examples of a spouse’s unreasonable behaviour. Divorce law was changed to make it less acrimonious. A husband or wife no longer needs to think of six to eight ways in which their spouse behaved unreasonably. That’s a good thing, as no-fault divorce avoids disputes over who should start the divorce proceedings. Although you can no longer refer to unreasonable behaviour in divorce proceedings, you can refer to unreasonable behaviour on the part of your spouse when applying for: An injunction order – a non-molestation order or occupation order. Children law order, such as a child arrangement order, specific issue order, prohibited steps order or relocation order. Financial court order – if the circumstances justify it. Bad behaviour and the impact on divorce financial settlements When you ask the court to make a financial court order, you can ask the court to consider your spouse’s bad behaviour when deciding on the size or structure of the financial settlement. The court is duty-bound to consider several factors (referred to as the Section 25 factors, as they are contained in Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973). One of the factors is conduct if the court thinks it would be inequitable to disregard it. Alleging behaviour in financial  proceedings When you file your Form E in the financial court proceedings, you have the option to include a reference to bad behaviour. The court may ask you to file a detailed statement setting out your behaviour allegations and how they should affect the financial settlement, and your spouse will be given the opportunity to reply. The threshold to raise bad behaviour is high. Although your husband or wife may have behaved very badly by having an affair, being abusive or being a spendthrift, you should speak to a divorce solicitor about whether the bad behaviour will be considered relevant in the financial court proceedings. A specialist finance lawyer will advise you on the best way to secure a financial court order that meets your needs after balancing the impact of the bad behaviour on you and the likelihood that the court will consider it relevant, having regard to statute and caselaw. Is the bad behaviour gross and obvious? The court’s view is that a spouse’s conduct will only affect the financial settlement if it is ‘gross and obvious,’ and so serious that it would be unfair for it to be ignored. Whether a spouse’s conduct has been serious enough to be classed as ‘gross and obvious’ will be a highly subjective decision. What is classed as bad behaviour in financial court proceedings? Several forms of bad behaviour or conduct may affect the size or structure of a financial settlement. These include: If a spouse has a gambling addiction and has gambled away a lot of the family’s money. If a spouse has assaulted and injured the other spouse, so that the injured spouse’s ability to work and earn money has been affected. If a spouse has been found guilty of a financial criminal offence. For example, a conviction for fraud will prevent the spouse from providing spousal maintenance or child support for their family. If a spouse has remortgaged the family home without telling the other spouse, and used the mortgage funds for their purposes. Every family situation is different, so although you may believe your spouse’s behaviour was gross, it is best to check with a divorce lawyer. The family law solicitor can advise if the specific behaviour is likely to have an impact on your financial settlement after assessing all the circumstances.  You might also be interested in [related_posts]   What is financial misconduct during the financial court proceedings? A spouse or former spouse may behave badly during the financial court proceedings. Examples of this type of behaviour include: Dragging out the financial proceedings, or running up needless and excessive legal costs. This isn’t usually reflected in the financial settlement. Instead, the court can order the irresponsible spouse to pay some or a proportion of the other spouse’s legal costs. Hiding assets or transferring assets to family members. The court can be asked to make a Section 37 injunction order or to join family members into the financial court proceedings. A spouse lying about their financial situation and not giving full financial disclosure. The judge can deal with poor behaviour  during the court proceedings by: Ordering the guilty spouse to pay some or all the other spouse’s legal costs. Structuring the financial settlement differently. Assuming, when making a final financial decision, that the guilty spouse is much wealthier than they say they are. If the lying is discovered after a final decision, the decision or financial court order can be set aside, and the process started again. Financial settlements can be structured differently if the judge accepts that a spouse has behaved badly or is not trustworthy. For example, a judge may think that it is best to award a spouse a larger share of the equity in the family home because there is a risk that if the equity were split equally, the wealthier spouse would not pay the ordered spousal maintenance because their behaviour during the marriage or the proceedings indicates they are not trustworthy. How much does bad behaviour change the financial settlement? The impact of the conduct on the financial settlement will vary greatly and entirely depends upon the circumstances of a family. A specialist family law will consider: The bad behaviour. The impact of the bad behaviour on the other spouse. The additional costs of arguing that bad behaviour is relevant to the financial court order. The likely prospects of the court agreeing that the bad behaviour is relevant to the financial settlement and awarding a better financial settlement. In every case of bad behaviour, your divorce solicitor will carry out a cost-benefit analysis of whether the additional time spent arguing your valid points will help you achieve a better financial settlement. Sometimes it won't, but your divorce lawyer will instead recommend an alternative strategy to get you the best financial settlement possible, such as: Filing a questionnaire to ask specific questions about your spouse’s financial disclosure and asking for more paperwork. Asking the judge for permission to instruct a forensic accountant to assess the value of a family business. Instructing a shadow accountant to investigate complex financial transactions or investments. Asking a pension actuary to value the pensions accurately. Why choose Evolve Family Law as your divorce lawyers? Here are three reasons to choose Evolve Family Law as your divorce solicitors: We are a niche law firm specialising in family law and private client services with offices in Holmes Chapel and Whitefield. All our divorce lawyers are experts in their field. They are also approachable and will do their best to answer all your questions and help you reach a financial settlement or childcare arrangement that suits you. Many of our family law services are provided on a fixed fee basis. When we charge on an hourly basis, we are transparent about our fees. Here are some client reviews. If you need family law legal advice, we are here to help. Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

If parents are honest about their fears surrounding coming out of a bad relationship, one of their biggest worries is whether their ex can take their child. In this blog, our specialist Northwest family lawyers look at whether your ex can take your child and your options. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Worried ex-partner will take my child Sometimes it is just a fear that your former partner and your child’s other parent will take your child or not return them when their parenting time has finished. In other family scenarios, your ex-husband, wife or partner may want to take the child as they know that is the one thing that will devastate you, or they may genuinely want to look after the child as much as you do, but the two of you can’t agree on the childcare arrangements. Talking to a family law solicitor can help you decide if your fears justify applying for a court order, such as: A child arrangement order A prohibited steps order A specific issue order An injunction order Will the police help if my ex-partner takes my child? If your child is taken, your first thought may be to call the police, and in any situation where you fear that your child is at risk of harm, then that is the best thing to do. Risk of harm is always a balancing act, so whilst you may think that your child is being harmed by staying with their other parent, the police may not think so unless there is some evidence that the child is at risk. The police won’t remove a child from a parent’s care unless there is an apparent risk of immediate harm. Generally, the police will say that, except in emergencies, family and children's law matters should be resolved by the family court. That usually involves one parent applying to court for a child arrangement order or asking the court to enforce an existing order and return the child to their care. The police approach should not stop a parent from calling them in situations where you have genuine welfare concerns, such as: A parent with anger management issues. Where there were domestic violence issues in the relationship. A parent who appears under the influence of alcohol or drugs and is incapable of safely caring for the child. Apply for a family court order to protect your child There are some family scenarios where it is best to get a family court order so you can show the order to the police. For example: If you fear that your ex-partner will take your child overseas without your agreement, you can apply to the family court for a prohibited steps order to prevent the child from being taken abroad. If you are concerned that you or your child is at risk of domestic violence, then you can apply to the court for an injunction order. If you are worried about the safety of your child while they are spending time with your ex-partner, you can ask the court to make a child arrangements order. A child arrangements order can prevent direct contact or stipulate that contact should only occur if supervised, or can establish limits and conditions for the contact.   Take legal advice if you are worried that your ex may take your child As every family situation is unique, it is advisable to seek legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances and to assess the best options for your family. Children law solicitors say that if you are worried about your ex taking your child, it is best to take specialist legal advice as quickly as possible because: A children solicitor will be able to tell you where you stand legally. Often, knowing your rights can help alleviate your worries. It may be necessary to apply for an urgent court order, such as an injunction order or take immediate action to prevent child abduction to an overseas country by securing a prohibited steps order. A solicitor’s letter to your ex-partner or an application for a child arrangements order may be needed to formalise the childcare arrangements and ensure that your ex-partner is aware of the consequences of breaching your agreement or the child arrangements order. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if a parent breaches a court order and takes a child? If a parent breaches a family court order, such as a child arrangements order, prohibited steps order or specific issue order, enforcement action can be taken. It can be tempting to apply directly to court to enforce an order, but it is best to consult with a family lawyer before doing so. For example, if a parent has returned a child home late on one occasion, starting enforcement action for a breach of a child arrangements order may not be appropriate. However, if late returns on a Sunday night are a regular occurrence and are affecting schooling, it may be appropriate to act. Children solicitors say that if an order is breached, you may need to take speedy action. For example: If a parent keeps a child after a contact visit was due to end, you don’t want to leave things so that the other parent can then argue that the status quo of the child living with you has changed and that the child is now happy and settled with them. If child abduction overseas is feared, then it is vital that speedy action is taken to avoid the child being taken abroad. That is because if the child is taken to a country that isn’t a signatory to the Hague Convention, it may be hard to get an order for the child’s immediate return to the UK.   Regardless of the nature of the breach of court order, the court can enforce the order and impose penalties on the parent who has breached it. The penalties will depend on the court’s assessment of the circumstances surrounding the breach of the court order, as well as the severity and frequency of the breach. The court can: Impose a community service order and order a parent in breach of a child arrangement order to carry out up to 200 hours of community service. Fine the parent for breach of the court order. In rare cases, a prison sentence can be imposed on the parent in breach of the court order. Order a parent to pay the other parent compensation if the breach of the court order led to a loss, such as unpaid time off work.   As every breach of a court order has a different impact on a family, it is best to seek legal advice before applying to enforce an order, as it may be preferable to return to court to vary the existing child arrangements order or other type of children's order. We are Manchester and Cheshire Children Law Solicitors Our family lawyers specialise in separation and children law applications. If you are worried about your ex-partner taking your child or need representation in child arrangements order proceedings, call us or complete our online enquiry form. Our offices are in Whitefield, North Manchester, and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire. However, our lawyers also offer telephone and online appointments.

If you are considering stopping contact between your child and their other parent, it is advisable to talk to a family law solicitor before taking any action. In this blog, we examine the circumstances where, after a separation or divorce, one parent can prevent a child from seeing the other parent. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Stopping contact between a child and their parent After a separation or divorce, many parents want to stop their child from seeing the other parent. Sometimes those feelings are fleeting, a reaction to a parent arriving late for contact or due to an argument. In other families, one parent may believe that it is in their child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent. ​Regardless of the reasons for wanting to end contact, it's best to seek legal advice before taking any action. Stopping contact if there is an existing child arrangement order  If there is an existing child arrangement order in place, you may be in breach of the court order if you stop your child from seeing their other parent without first applying to the court to vary the child arrangement order to end or reduce the parenting time. Sometimes, the decision not to send a child to their parent for a contact visit can be difficult. In other situations, there may be immediate or serious welfare concerns, so you feel justified in not following the court order. As breaching a child arrangement order could result in enforcement action, it's best to understand your options, your former partner’s options and the court’s likely views on why you breached the child arrangement order, rather than waiting and applying to vary the child arrangement order and only then altering the parenting time. Stopping contact if there is no child arrangement order in place  If there is no child arrangement order in force, it is still best to get expert legal advice on the best course of action. That is because if you stop contact, your ex-partner may apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Depending on the current level of parenting time spent with the children and the reasons why you want to stop contact, your ex-partner may even be allowed to spend additional time with your child. Should you stop contact between a child and the other parent? There are certain scenarios in which contact between a parent and child should be stopped, as it is in the best interests of the child to do so. For example: If you have the grounds to fear child abduction and your child being taken out of the UK without your agreement, or You are worried that the other parent cannot safely care for the children during their parenting time and doesn’t have the insight into their mental health or addiction issues, or the extended family support to make their parenting time a safe experience for your child. However, there are other scenarios where it isn’t necessarily in your child’s best interests to stop contact, even though the cessation of contact would make life a lot easier for you, as you would not need to contact your ex-partner over the parenting arrangements. Reasons to stop contact There are many situations where one parent often wants to stop a child from having contact with the other parent. Reasons to stop contact include: The other parent has not paid child support or spousal maintenance. The other parent has met a new partner, and you feel angry or hurt about it. The other parent gives you a lot of hassle and grief over the parenting plan, and you feel they are trying to control you through the communication that they have with you over childcare. You are worried that your ex-partner will be violent towards you at either collection or drop-off time. The other parent is always late collecting or returning the child. The child does not do any homework whilst with the other parent and always returns tired after a weekend away, meaning that the child finds it hard to settle back into their routine and concentrate on their school work. The other parent won’t follow the same parenting routine as you, so you are seen as the disciplinarian and no fun. The child says derogatory things about you that they have heard from the other parent during their parenting time. The child says they don’t want to see the other parent because time spent with their other parent is boring, and they want to see their friends. The child doesn’t like the other parent’s new partner or their children. All the above are valid concerns that require legal advice and discussion with an expert children's law solicitor about how best to resolve them; however, the solution may not be to end all parenting time with the other parent. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if I stop my child from spending time with their other parent? If you stop contact between your child and the other parent, then the other parent could: Apply to the family court to enforce an existing child arrangement order. Apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Still turn up to see the child. For example, to collect the child from school. Walk away from family life and have no further contact. Your child may not want to end or reduce the amount of time they spend with their other parent, even if it is in their best interests to do so. Stopping contact may lead the child to feel hurt and angry towards you. In addition, the child may think of their other parent in an idealised fashion. As they are no longer having contact with the other parent, the child may forget that the other parent was late in collecting them or did nothing with them during the parenting time other than watch television. It can help to talk to a family law solicitor about the likely outcome of an application for a child arrangement order by the other parent or an application by you for a children order, such as a prohibited steps order. That’s because it is best to understand the approach the family court will take to stopping contact and how the judge will weigh up what future parenting arrangements are in your child’s best interests. Alternatives to going to court to stop contact A children's law solicitor can also discuss alternative options to applying to court to end contact, such as: Family mediation to help you explain to your ex-partner your concerns about contact. Protective orders, such as domestic violence injunction orders, if your ex-partner is harassing you, or you fear child abduction. Round table meeting with family lawyers to discuss your concerns and reach a resolution. For example, agreeing on a parenting plan with consistent parenting routines for the child or agreeing to supervised contact whilst your ex-partner is experiencing a period of mental ill-health or working on overcoming an addiction. Family therapy can be a safe place to discuss future parenting time. This can involve an older child, so they can explain how they feel about contact. Therefore, while it is tempting to sever contact between your child and their other parent, it is usually best to take some time to reflect and consider the legal consequences of such a decision. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

Who pays child maintenance when you agree to share the parenting of your children after a separation or divorce? It's essential to understand the law on child support before finalising your divorce financial court order or reaching a childcare agreement. Our Northwest family law solicitors can help you understand how child maintenance works and assist you in reaching a parenting agreement or financial settlement. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Who pays child maintenance when the parenting of children is shared? If you poll parents on the question of who pays child maintenance when parenting is shared, most parents assume that the parent who earns more will be responsible for paying child maintenance. That’s not correct. Under the complex child maintenance law rules, if both parents equally share the care of their children, neither parent will be required to pay child maintenance to the other parent. This child maintenance rule can lead to two problems: Parents not wanting to agree to shared parenting because they don’t want to lose out on child support or can't afford to do so. Parents saying they want to parent equally but not doing so in practice, or the child spending an equal amount of time at each parent’s home but not getting the same quality of parental care and attention at both parents’ homes. These problems can result in more parental disputes about the best childcare arrangements for their children or child arrangement order applications for the court to decide if parenting should be shared equally. What difference does shared care make to child maintenance payments? If you share the care of your children, then it can make the difference between: Receiving hundreds of pounds each month for your children in child support and receiving no child maintenance at all. That can mean the difference between being able to afford to work part time and having to work overtime to pay your household bills, or Paying hundreds of pounds each month for your children in child maintenance. This can mean that a parent cannot afford to pay child support and pay the mortgage or rent on a suitable home near their child’s school, or afford for their children to have the same sort of lifestyle that they enjoy with their other parent. That is why both parents must understand their respective roles and responsibilities regarding shared parenting and child maintenance before agreeing on a parenting regime and child maintenance arrangements. Child benefit and the payment of child maintenance  It was thought that if one parent receives the child benefit money, their entitlement to the child benefit payment automatically means they are the parent who is entitled to ask for child maintenance from the other parent. One father challenged that assumption. The child maintenance tribunal decided that: Child maintenance is only payable if one of the parents is classed under child maintenance rules as the ‘non-resident parent, or in other words, there isn’t an equal shared care arrangement. This means that the other parent is classed under child maintenance rules as the ’parent with care.’ If there is no evidence to the contrary on shared care, then if the person applying for child support receives the child benefit payments, it is assumed that they are the ‘parent with care.’ This assumption isn’t relevant if both parents equally share the care of the children. The day-to-day care provided by each parent must be evaluated. The evaluation isn’t just about counting the nights the children stay with each parent, but also about assessing tasks and responsibilities. If there is equal responsibility for the day-to-day care of the children, then no child maintenance is payable, even if one parent earns a lot more than the other parent. Factors to consider when negotiating parenting arrangements and child maintenance Here are some factors to consider when negotiating parenting arrangements and child maintenance: What type of child care arrangement meets your child’s needs? Some children cope better than others with an equal shared care arrangement. How do the practicalities of commute and work commitments impact how you will share the parenting time and childcare? If you do equally share the care of the children and child support isn’t paid, how will this impact the finances of both parents? Will one parent be paying spousal maintenance to the other parent and, if so, how long for? Will one parent be receiving more than half of the equity in the family home to rehouse themselves because they earn less than the other parent? With specialist legal advice from a Manchester divorce solicitor on your best divorce and financial options, many parents can agree a financial settlement that meets both families’ needs. The lawyer can then draw up a financial consent order, ensuring that both parents have the certainty and legal protection of a court order.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] What counts as shared care of children for child maintenance payments? Shared care is as individual as families. It is a question of what works for a particular family. Some families agree on: A week on, week off schedule so the children spend a week with each parent, or A day on, day off schedule so the children never spend more than a day away from each parent, save for holidays, or Sharing an au pair or nanny so that the child care support moves with the children to provide continuity. These types of shared care arrangements can work better for some families than the more traditional 3-day/4-day split, where one week is spent on the 3-day schedule and then swapped with the 4-day schedule in the second week. The shared care arrangement that works best for a family can depend on: Distances between family homes. If a family has children with different or competing needs. For example, if one child has special educational needs or there is a significant age gap. New relationships and stepchildren. The practicalities of managing work and child care commitments combined with the daily commute and school run. Experience as a Manchester divorce solicitor has shown that any type of shared care arrangement can be beneficial for children, provided their parents are happy with the arrangements, commit to co-parenting and parenting routines, and share the highs and inevitable occasional lows of parenting. What happens if we stop or start sharing the care of the children? If, for whatever reason, you stop or start sharing the care of your children, then child maintenance could either stop or start. That is because, in most situations, you can apply to the Child Maintenance Service for child support at any stage. If child care arrangements change, then a parent may be able to ask the child maintenance service to either stop the requirement to pay child support or to vary the amount paid in child maintenance. That’s why, when looking at your housing options and finances on separation, it is sensible to factor in possible changes in child support in future. Manchester & Cheshire-based Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing pragmatic and expert solutions for divorce, children, and financial settlements. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.