We all fear some appointments, whether it's with a doctor or dentist, or meeting your family lawyer for the first time. In this blog, family law solicitor Louise Halford looks at how to get the most out of your first meeting with your family lawyer.   Contact Evolve Family Law Today for Family Law Advice.   In this article, we look at: Choosing your family law solicitor Timing your appointment Company at your appointment Preparing for your appointment Talking to your family solicitor   Choosing your family law solicitor Before your initial consultation with your family law solicitor, it is best to do some research on whether your family lawyer and the firm are the right fit for you. Just because a friend found a family solicitor wonderful in their divorce, it doesn’t mean they will necessarily be right for you, or that they are experts in the area of family law you need help with. At Evolve Family Law, we believe in being proactive in helping you choose the right solicitor for you. That’s why our website includes information about: The lawyers Our fee guide Our client reviews.   We will also speak to you to ensure you are seeing the best solicitor for your needs at your initial consultation. That’s because family lawyers, just like consultants and surgeons, specialise in different areas. If you need urgent advice about child abduction fears and child relocation orders, you don’t want to see a solicitor who has a particular interest in family finance on divorce or international prenuptial agreements.   Timing your appointment It is never too early to have an initial consultation with a family law solicitor. It can be helpful for you to learn about likely children or financial settlement options should you go ahead with a planned separation. That way, you can make informed choices. Taking family law legal advice does not commit you to starting children law or financial court proceedings, but it does help you work out the best options for you, through having the information you need about: Your rights. Likely court outcomes. Alternatives to going to court (called non-court alternative dispute resolution). The timescales and costs of each option.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   Company at your appointment Bringing someone with you to an appointment can be helpful. A friend or family member can ensure you ask the questions you need answered. They can also discuss the advice you received with you after the meeting. All family solicitors ask is that you choose the person carefully if you decide to bring someone to the appointment. That is because you may be discussing personal issues or financial matters at your consultation. Your family lawyer will not want you to feel inhibited and unable to be totally open about the personal or financial reasons why you need family law help and legal advice. Also, a family friend or relative should be there to provide support, rather than take over the appointment to discuss their own family law problems or their views on your relationship or family law issue. If they do that, it is frustrating for both you and your family lawyer, as the focus should be on you. Therefore, if you want company at your appointment, think about who will provide the best support to help you get the most out of your consultation.   Preparing for your appointment Whilst you are welcome to turn up to your phone, online or office appointment, it can help to prepare for the appointment. We don’t mean anything ‘too heavy’ by this. Just think about why you need advice and the background. For example, your family solicitor will want to know the date of your marriage, the date of separation, when your children were born or the approximate date of when an incident occurred. It is surprising how easy it is to forget dates or only to remember the questions you wanted to ask your solicitor after your consultation. Lawyers like questions, so bring a list of questions with you. Whilst a family lawyer may not be able to answer all your questions at a first meeting fully, they will be able to tell you what information they need to gather to answer your queries fully.   Talking to your family solicitor An initial consultation with a family solicitor is a two-way street; your family lawyer needs to know a bit about you, your family law query, and your goals. Armed with that information, a family solicitor can help you get the best out of an initial consultation. Consultations work best when you have the confidence to ask your questions. You therefore should not worry about whether your questions are too basic or whether your solicitor will think you should know the answers. Likewise, your lawyer may need to ask you some questions that you don’t think are relevant to your circumstances or will help in answering your questions. However, some questions will help your lawyer understand the circumstances, enabling them to determine the best way to answer your questions as accurately and thoroughly as possible.   Relationship breakdown: comprehensive initial review At Evolve Family Law, we offer a fixed-price relationship breakdown review meeting with a solicitor, covering all legal and practical aspects of your situation, including an assessment of the best routes to resolution. This is a one-off fee. You can then decide if you want to instruct us to take additional steps, such as starting no-fault divorce proceedings, applying for a child arrangement order, or applying for a relocation order.   Contact Evolve Family Law Today for Family Law Advice.  

The family law solicitors at Evolve Family Law are regularly consulted about common law marriage rights by unmarried partners and former cohabitees. In this article, we look at the myth of common-law marriage.   Contact Evolve Family Law Today for Cohabitation Law Advice.   What is common law marriage? Legally, there is no such thing as a common-law marriage. Common law marriage is a myth. In English family and property law, common law marriage is not a legally recognised concept. If you are cohabiting with an unmarried partner, you do not get rights as a cohabitee if you view yourself as being in a common-law marriage with your partner. An unmarried relationship does not become a common law marriage because of the number of years you have been living together. You do not get common law marriage status whether you have been in a cohabiting relationship for 2 years or 20 years.   Cohabitation rights If you don’t get cohabitation rights through common-law marriage, how do you get cohabitation rights? Family agreement solicitors say there are ways to get rights as an unmarried partner, but it is best to understand how you can get those rights before you: Move in with your partner. Have children together. Rule out getting married or entering a civil partnership. Buy a property together. Make significant property, pension or financial decisions. Make a Will. Unfortunately, too many unmarried couples only find out about their cohabitation rights (or lack of them) after they split up with their partner.   Getting rights as an unmarried partner As an unmarried partner, your cohabitation rights can come from: Joint property ownership – you can jointly own property either as tenants in common or joint tenants. The way you own property can significantly impact what happens to it if you split up or if one of you passes away. That’s why it is best to take family law legal advice before you jointly buy a property as an unmarried couple. Sole property ownership – you can claim a share of a property even if it is owned in the name of your partner. A claim can potentially be made under property or trust law if you can show that you have an equitable interest in the property. A cohabitation agreement or deed of trust – if you reach an agreement with your partner, either at the outset of your relationship or during it, you can set out your agreement and rights in a cohabitation agreement (or deed of trust if the agreement relates solely to a specific property). If you have dependent children with your unmarried partner, you may also have the right to claim: Child support through the Child Maintenance Service or through the family court if the Child Maintenance Service does not have jurisdiction, or if the Child Maintenance Service has made a maximum assessment under their child support formula. If the Child Maintenance Service makes a maximum assessment, you can apply to the family court for top-up maintenance. Lump sum payment to meet a child’s specific needs. Housing for the child whilst the child is dependent – this type of housing provision ends when the child is age 18 or 21. School fee payments if your child is being educated privately. Disability-related extra costs of caring for a child with a disability. The bottom line is that, however long your unmarried relationship lasted, you do not have the same legal rights as a civil partner, husband, or wife. For example, as an unmarried partner, you cannot claim: A share of the family business – unless you are a shareholder or a business partner, or you can successfully argue that ownership of all or part of the business was held in trust for you. A share of your partner’s pension. Spousal maintenance. A share of investment portfolios held in your partner’s sole name unless you can argue that the investments were held in trust – something that is very hard to do.   Disputed cohabitation rights In cases involving unmarried partners, the family court must follow property and trust law to resolve disputes over ownership. If you are married or in a civil partnership, the family court looks at a range of statutory factors to achieve fairness. That’s why in divorce proceedings, the court can exercise a lot more discretion, and there is less likelihood of one partner walking away with nothing after a long relationship. If you are engaged to marry or married and you do not like the idea of the family court having such a degree of flexibility in divorce financial settlement proceedings, you can either sign a prenuptial agreement or a postnuptial agreement to record how family assets should be split if you separate.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   Cohabitation rights and estate planning If an unmarried partner dies without making a Will (intestate), the surviving cohabitant has no automatic right to their partner’s estate. The surviving partner could claim a share of the deceased’s estate, but this would involve court proceedings against the deceased’s relatives who inherited the estate under the intestacy rules. To succeed in a claim, the claimant needs to show that the intestacy rules did not make reasonable financial provisions for them as an unmarried partner. This is why it is vital that if you are in an unmarried relationship, you and your partner make a Will and carry out estate planning.   Protection for you as a cohabitee Family lawyers understand that financial hardship due to the breakdown of a cohabiting relationship is a realistic possibility. In many cases, the hardship results from property ownership decisions made by the couple during the relationship. If a married couple make the same property ownership decisions during their marriage, the family court has the discretion and power to make orders that it thinks are fair to both husband and wife or both civil partners. In a non-married relationship, a family judge does not have the same degree of flexibility. In cases involving cohabiting couples, the court must divide the property or assets of an unmarried couple based on property and trust law rather than housing or other needs. The best option for cohabitants concerned about property issues and protection if they split up from their partner is to sign a cohabitation agreement. This document is a form of contract that outlines a couple’s decisions regarding what will happen to their property upon separation. It works like a prenuptial agreement, and if appropriately drafted by a specialist family lawyer, should be upheld by a court. The cohabitation agreement should be accompanied by both cohabitees signing Wills and Lasting Powers of Attorney. If you need advice on a cohabitation agreement or need legal advice after separating from your cohabitee, Contact Evolve Family Law Today for Cohabitation Law Advice.  

If your child has been taken out of the UK by one parent without the other parent’s parental permission, then this may amount to parental child abduction. This type of child abduction is on the increase because of the rise in families living in the UK with international connections. In this article, child abduction solicitor Louise Halford looks at return orders after child abduction from the UK.   Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form.   What is parental child abduction?  Parental child abduction is when a parent takes or sends their child out of the UK without the consent of: Every other person who has parental responsibility for the child, or A court order from the family court. Parental child abduction is complicated because some parents have sole parental responsibility, and some parents are legally allowed to take their children overseas without the agreement of the other parent because the parent has: A child arrangement order that says the child lives with them, or A holiday order that specifies that the parent can take the child abroad on holiday, or A relocation order that states the parent can take the child to live overseas. Parental child abduction can either be: Taking a child overseas without parental agreement or a court order, or Not returning a child to the UK at the end of an agreed overseas trip. The former type of child abduction is called wrongful removal, and the latter is referred to as wrongful retention.   Child arrangement orders and taking a child overseas If a parent has a child arrangement order that says their child lives with them, the law says that the parent is allowed to take their child out of England and Wales on holiday, provided that the overseas holiday is for no more than 28 days. With the appropriate child arrangement order, the other parent’s agreement to the holiday is not necessary, and a holiday order is not required. If a parent with that type of child arrangement order wants to take their child overseas for longer than 28 days, they will need the consent of all those with parental responsibility for the child or a holiday or relocation order.   Holiday orders and taking a child overseas A holiday order allows a parent to take a child overseas on holiday if the other parent or others with parental responsibility for the child won't agree to the planned holiday. A holiday order can either: Relate to a specific one-off holiday or Give a parent who does not have a child arrangement order that says the child lives with them, permission to take the child overseas on holiday for a specified period each year, so they don’t have to make annual holiday order applications.   Relocation orders and taking a child overseas A relocation order allows a parent to take their child overseas to live. An order is only required if the other parent and anyone else with parental responsibility for the child objects to the planned overseas move.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]    What is a return order A return order can be made by a family court ordering the return of a child to England, where a child has been subject to parental child abduction through either: Wrongful removal – no parental agreement or court order. Wrongful retention – staying outside the UK for longer than agreed to by the other parent or beyond the scope of the child arrangement order or holiday order.   What happens if a parent does not comply with a return order? If a parent does not return their child to the UK, then the court can commit the parent to prison for breach of the return order. In  AA (Mother) v XX (Father)[2025] EWHC 2165 (Fam), a mother asked the court to commit the child’s father to prison for breaching orders requiring him to return the child to England from Iran. The family were from Iran and the mother took her daughter to Iran on holiday. A paternal relative abducted the child from the airport. The mother returned to the UK and started wardship proceedings to secure the return of her daughter to the UK. She alleged the child’s father had prior knowledge of the child's abduction. The court made a series of court orders, including return orders, but these were not complied with. The mother, therefore, asked the court to commit the father to prison. The judge sentenced the father to six months' imprisonment and concluded that the: ‘’sentence is the only hope of compliance and of securing B's return. The father has been given numerous opportunities to return B but has ignored them, and ignored any of the preparatory steps required. His attitude throughout is that he will only comply with orders on his own terms. Secondly, that a custodial sentence is required to show the court's displeasure about what have been complete and deliberate breaches of court orders both in securing B's return and taking the required steps to secure return and provide for indirect contact’’.   Child abduction legal advice If you think your child is at risk of parental child abduction, it is best to talk to a specialist child abduction solicitor while your child is still in the UK. The family lawyer can advise you on the steps that can be taken to reduce the risk of child abduction. These include: Applying to court for a child arrangement order that says your child should live with you. Asking the court to make a prohibited steps order to stop your child from being taken overseas. Applying to make your child a ward of the court. Taking steps to prevent your child from being issued a passport or asking for a port alert. If the other parent has applied for a holiday order or a relocation order, then you can object to their application. A specialist family solicitor can help you explain to the court why the holiday or relocation order is not in your child’s best interests. If your child has already been taken overseas, then your remedies will depend on whether the country your child has been moved to is a member of the Hague Convention. An experienced child abduction lawyer can identify all your potential legal remedies and help you pursue them as quickly as possible to secure the safe return of your child to the UK.   Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form.

When you are married to a narcissist, it can feel as if there isn’t a way out of the relationship. There is always a way out, and in this blog, our divorce solicitors look at your best options if you want to divorce a narcissist. Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form.   Can I divorce a narcissist? When you are married to a narcissist and subject to constant belittlement, it can be hard to contemplate feeling empowered enough to start divorce proceedings, especially if you are told by your husband, wife or civil partner that you can’t leave and you can’t get divorced. You can divorce your spouse by starting no-fault divorce proceedings. Although your spouse may not want you to leave or to start divorce proceedings, the reality is that they cannot oppose a no-fault divorce. Our divorce lawyers provide legal advice on no-fault divorce and, in most cases, offer fixed-fee divorce services. Narcissists' threats about what will happen if you start divorce proceedings   Often, the question isn’t about whether you can start divorce proceedings against a narcissist, but whether their threats that you will ‘walk away with nothing’ or ‘you won’t see the children again’ are realistic. As specialist Northwest divorce solicitors, we find that many people who are married to spouses with narcissistic personality disorders wait a long time before taking legal advice because their partners have told them that divorce proceedings will result in them losing custody of their children or not having enough money to look after themselves and the children. That is very rarely true, but it is hard to believe that your divorce lawyer is right when the person you are married to is so adamant in their beliefs.   Tips on divorcing a narcissist  The first steps in divorcing a narcissist are: Recognising the problem – that is harder than you may think if you have been subject to demeaning comments for years and lost a lot of your confidence. Get help – that can be from your GP, a counsellor, friend or family member – it is important to have emotional and practical help if you are getting divorced and especially if you are divorcing a narcissist. Take legal advice – an expert divorce solicitor can help reassure you about your legal rights and give you an idea of the likely financial settlement and the childcare arrangements for your children, so that you have the confidence to decide whether you want to start divorce proceedings. Focus on what is important to you – if you have been living with a narcissist, it is hard to gain the confidence and determination to start divorce proceedings. That’s why it is essential to focus on why you are doing it. For example, your motivation may be not wanting your children to be affected by your partner’s narcissistic personality disorder, or you not wanting to be in the same position in ten or more years. Remember, what is important to you is the crucial point. That means you should not substitute the views of friends or family for the control imposed on you by your narcissistic partner, as you need to look at what’s best for you.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   Fears about divorcing a narcissist If you are married to someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, you may worry about whether to mention the full extent of your partner’s behaviour to your divorce solicitor. The reluctance to be fully open with your divorce lawyer can be due to: Embarrassment. Fear that you won’t be believed. Worry that you will be thought to be the one with the ‘problem’. Concern that your partner will react badly if they think that you have said things about them. Thinking that it is pointless to say anything about your partner’s behaviour, as it won’t make any difference.  Your partner’s belief that they are brilliant and exceptional and, of course, always in the right. Your partner’s belief that you are in the wrong and worthless in comparison to them, so your views and feelings don’t count. Extreme reactions if you or anyone else questions your partner’s sense of self-importance or entitlement.   A narcissist is a challenge for anyone who lives with them, as well as for divorce solicitors and the family court. That’s why it is essential that you instruct a divorce solicitor with experience of dealing with those with narcissistic personality disorders, and that you tell your divorce lawyer about the extent of the issues you’ve faced so they can help you. Tell your divorce solicitor if your spouse has a narcissistic personality disorder You may not think that it matters whether your divorce solicitor knows about your partner’s narcissistic personality disorder traits, but it is essential because: If you have children, then your partner’s narcissistic personality may be affecting the children and even influencing how they treat you, as they are so used to seeing you belittled by your partner. That may influence your solicitor’s advice on the best child care arrangements to suit you and your circumstances and to reduce ongoing emotional harm to your children. If your partner is a narcissistic person, then family mediation is unlikely to be a sensible option to try to resolve financial or child care matters, as your partner won’t listen to anyone’s views other than their own, so you’d be better using either family arbitration or court proceedings to reach an enforceable decision. If your partner exerts coercive and controlling behaviour, then you may want to minimise future financial links with them. This could, for example, involve agreeing to a clean break financial court order rather than ongoing spousal maintenance, so you get additional capital rather than having to rely on your former partner paying regular spousal maintenance payments to you. If your partner is abusive, you may need the protection of an injunction order or a child arrangement order to protect you and the children.   How can Evolve Family Law help me? At Evolve Family Law, our divorce solicitors will be very honest with you and tell you that they know, from experience, that starting divorce proceedings against someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is hard. You’ll therefore need all the help and expert support you can get. A narcissistic person needs to feel that they are in control and the winner. That may mean you have to start financial court proceedings to get financial disclosure from your partner and get a fair financial court order, or it may mean you need a child arrangement order to restrict their contact with the children or an injunction order to stop the coercion and domestic abuse. Our specialist divorce solicitors are not only experienced in securing these types of orders but are also adept at finding a way through divorce proceedings involving a partner with narcissistic personality traits.   Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form.   Our latest blogs

Any separation or divorce is a painful process, but it can be challenging when you are leaving an abusive partner. At Evolve Family Law, our divorce solicitors have experience in helping people separating from abusive partners.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Deciding to leave an abusive partner It is difficult to decide to leave a husband, wife or partner. People often think that the decision to separate is easy if you are leaving an abusive partner, as ending the relationship is the ‘obvious’ thing to do. As specialist divorce lawyers helping those involved in abusive relationships, our solicitors know that it is no easier to leave an abusive partner than it is to leave a caring and kind partner, where the relationship is at an end because the couple have drifted apart. There is help available to decide whether ending a relationship is the right thing for you. Counsellors, therapists and domestic violence charities all offer a sounding board. Family and friends can also be a good source of support if they are good listeners and able to let you make your own decision. A divorce lawyer can give you the legal information you need before you decide to leave your partner.   How do you leave an abusive partner? You may think the answer to the question ‘how do you leave an abusive partner?’ is obvious – you get up and leave. However, Cheshire divorce solicitors who work with people in abusive relationships know that it isn’t as easy as that. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is particularly important to plan your departure to make sure you and your children are safe. Here are our divorce solicitors' tips on how to leave an abusive partner: Get help and support – the support can be from friends, family, your doctor or counsellor, the police, a domestic violence agency or another source. Have an escape plan – if you are leaving a partner, it is normal to discuss why the relationship hasn’t worked out and why you are either leaving or want them to go. If you are leaving an abusive partner, it may not be safe to have that discussion. You may either need to leave without telling them about your plans or where you are going, or you may need injunction orders to protect you. Be practical – if you are making phone calls or using the internet, or you or the children are posting things on Facebook, think about whether your abusive partner will be able to trace you from those activities. If you are planning on leaving, think about what you will need to take with you to avoid returning for essential items. If the children are in school, make sure teachers know why you may need to collect the children early or arrange for someone else to do so. Protect yourself – if you are at immediate risk, then don’t follow any escape plan but get immediate help from the police. If you are not at immediate risk but are worried about your safety, then speak to a divorce solicitor about getting emergency injunction orders (called non-molestation and occupation orders) or children orders (called child arrangements orders or prohibited steps orders) to safeguard your children. Take legal advice – ideally, you should take legal advice before you leave an abusive partner so that you know where you stand legally and whether, for example, you can make them leave the family home, if you can change the locks, stop contact or get interim financial support. Be strong – you may think that you are not strong enough to leave or to withstand the pressure from your partner to return or their attempts to find you and exact revenge because you left. Leaving isn’t always the easy option, and that is why you may need support to stay strong.   Is my partner abusive? You may think that the question ‘Is my partner abusive?’ should have a straightforward answer. However, it isn’t uncommon for those leaving abusive relationships not to recognise their partner’s behaviour as abuse. That can be for a variety of reasons, such as: You understandably don’t want to be a victim of abuse, and so minimise your partner’s behaviour. You have a narrow view of what amounts to abusive behaviour because you have been coached into thinking that psychological abuse or coercive and controlling behaviour is not abusive. You have been told that your partner’s behaviour is normal or that it only occurs because of your demands. Your partner isn’t abusive to the children, so it must be your behaviour that is at fault and not that of your partner. Most injunction lawyers understand why a victim does not see their spouse’s behaviour as abusive during the relationship, and therefore why it is so hard for the victim to recognise their spouse’s behaviour as abuse when they separate from their abusive partner. If you have been told repeatedly that you are ‘mental’ or the one with the ‘problem’, it is all too easy to get sucked into believing that the abuse only occurs because your partner cares about you.   What is domestic abuse?   The definition of domestic abuse is extensive. Nowadays, courts and divorce lawyers recognise that abuse in a relationship isn’t limited to physical assaults. Domestic abuse includes: Verbal and emotional abuse, such as belittling you or telling you that you are mentally unwell or not a fit parent. Financial control, such as withholding money from you, so you are reliant on your partner. Intimidation and mind games, such as telling you that they will kill themselves or leave their job, so you will end up with nothing but guilt if you leave. Exercising coercion and control, such as not letting you see your family or being unwilling to let you go out to work or to have a bank account. There are numerous examples of what amounts to abusive behaviour in a relationship. Sometimes it takes talking to a friend, counsellor or divorce solicitor about your relationship to recognise the behaviour for what it is and to start to acknowledge the physical and emotional impact of your partner’s abusive behaviour on you.   Leaving an abusive partner If you are contemplating leaving an abusive partner, the number one priority is to make sure that you are safe and are empowered to do so. It is stressful leaving any relationship, but if your partner is abusive, the physical departure can be a dangerous trigger point unless handled carefully. Just as importantly, if you have been in an abusive relationship for a long time, it can be easy to succumb to promises of change or being told that you can’t leave because you won’t be able to take the children with you, or you won’t get a penny. It can feel as if there is no escape from an abusive partner, but that isn’t the case. With emotional and legal support, you can leave an abusive partner safely and rebuild your life.   Getting help with an abusive partner When you live with an abusive partner, it is hard to reach out and ask for help. That can be down to feelings of embarrassment or because you love your partner and want to stay in the relationship, but want the abuse to stop. Divorce lawyers find it is often the case that those in abusive relationships are too frightened to speak out and ask for help, as they fear what will happen if they do. That is understandable, as the last thing that you or they want is for your situation to be any worse than it is. If you are worried about seeing a divorce solicitor, then you can come to a meeting to discuss leaving an abusive partner with a friend or member of your family. They can help give you the courage to go, but remember that whilst friends and family can offer emotional and practical support, the decision to leave must come from you. If you don’t have friends or family to support you (or would be worried about things getting back to your partner), many supportive organisations and charities are there to help with information and advice, as well as individuals, such as your GP or a counsellor, who can support you in your decision to leave your abusive partner. Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Divorcing an abusive partner You do not need to refer to your partner’s behaviour to obtain a divorce. With the introduction of no-fault divorce proceedings, all you need to do is file an application saying that you think the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Even if your spouse does not share your view, they cannot oppose your divorce application. In the divorce proceedings, you will need a divorce solicitor who can stand up to your partner, ensure that you and your children get the legal protection you need, and help you make your own decisions about what you want.   Children and leaving an abusive partner It isn’t unusual for divorce lawyers to be told that someone has stayed in an abusive relationship for years, for the sake of the children. That can be down to a whole variety of factors, such as: Your abusive partner has told you that they will get custody of the children, and they won’t let you see the children because they will turn the children against you. You think that you would have to leave the family home, and you are worried that this will affect the children. The children love their other parent, and you don’t want them to grow up in a single-parent family. The timing to separate isn’t right because of a child’s exams or the start of primary or secondary school. The research into children and separation and divorce shows that: Children are remarkably resilient. Often, children know when there is something wrong with their parents’ relationship. Although the children may not have seen any domestic violence or physical assaults, because you have protected them, they can still pick up on the vibe in the household and be emotionally affected by it. Children prefer to live in two households rather than have their parents living together in an abusive relationship with a toxic atmosphere.   Child arrangement orders when leaving an abusive partner It is natural to feel very anxious about childcare arrangements if you are planning to leave an abusive partner. The priority is to ensure that you and the children are safe from any domestic violence (or the children witnessing it), so injunction applications can be made to safeguard you and the children. In addition, you can apply for a child arrangements order. In an emergency, a child arrangements order can be made quickly to protect the children. A child arrangement order can: Say the children should live with you, on a short-term or long-term basis. Set out whether the children should see your partner, and if so, whether the contact visits should take place in a supervised setting (for example, at a contact centre or in the presence of a member of your family or a trusted friend) and spell out the safe handover and collection arrangements.   Abuse allegations and child arrangement order applications If you and your abusive partner need to go to court to sort out the child care arrangements, it is essential that: Your husband or wife’s abusive behaviour and its impact on you and the children is explained by your solicitor as part of the court process; and The court looks at whether a finding of fact hearing is needed to decide on the domestic abuse allegations before it makes orders under the Children Act. If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the abusive parent if the court believes that the physical and emotional safety of you and your children can be protected before, during and after the contact. Many divorcing partners are adamant that they want their children to see their other parent, even though there has been abuse within the relationship. That is because they want their children to have a relationship with both parents. If you are satisfied that the children will be safe during contact, then it is essential to ensure that you are also safe during the handover of the children for contact. For example, you may not want your abusive partner coming to the house to collect the children, but would prefer a neutral handover where there is less chance that your partner will ‘kick off’ or say anything that will upset the children.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   Leaving an abusive partner and getting a financial settlement It is natural to worry that even if you are safely able to leave an abusive partner, they will make sure that you ‘end up with nothing’. Divorce solicitors are experts in making sure that not only are you protected from an abusive partner, but that you also receive a fair financial settlement and that you are not bullied or coerced into accepting less than you need or are entitled to. Your lawyer can either negotiate with your ex-partner or start financial court proceedings. Whether you negotiate or start court proceedings, the important thing is that you have a solicitor on your side, making sure: You have the information and financial disclosure orders necessary to make financial decisions. Any financial settlement is reality tested to make sure that the financial court order meets your needs and is capable of enforcement if your partner remains difficult and uncooperative.   Legal help with an abusive partner Abusive partners tend to be bullies and don’t want or like anyone standing up to them. Courts don’t like bullies, so whether you are being physically assaulted, emotionally abused or financially controlled, there is help available from divorce solicitors and the family court to: Protect you through the making of non-molestation and occupation injunction orders. Financially protect you through the making of child support, spousal maintenance, property and pension orders and orders to enforce compliance if your abusive partner won’t comply with court orders. Protect the family through child arrangement orders to ensure your children are safe.   Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly. We provide the expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice that you need when you are separating from an abusive partner and need someone on your side.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Our latest blogs

If you are married to a narcissist, you may need specialist legal advice to sort out your separation and divorce. Otherwise, you may find that your needs or those of your children are not adequately addressed. At Evolve Family Law, our Northwest divorce solicitors are experts in advising in divorce, children and financial proceedings where one spouse has behaved unreasonably, is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder.   Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form. Is my spouse a narcissist? In any blog on divorcing a narcissist, it is important to look at some of the essential traits of a narcissist to help you understand if your spouse has the personality characteristics of a narcissist. The Oxford dictionary defines a narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. Narcissists are said to have the following personality traits: A sense of self-importance. A sense of entitlement. Requiring praise and attention. Willing to exploit and use others without feeling a sense of guilt or shame. Able to demean and belittle other people without worrying about the impact of their behaviour on others. Able to live in their fantasy world where they are the centre of attention.   Do any of those traits sound like your husband or wife? If so, you may need help from a counsellor to talk through how you feel about remaining in the relationship. Our divorce lawyers can advise you on the likely legal implications if you decide to separate or, if you have decided to separate or divorce, apply for a no-fault divorce and help you reach a childcare arrangement and financial court order. Getting divorced from a narcissist Divorcing is stressful, even when it is amicable. However, when your husband or wife is a narcissist, it can feel as if there is no escape from your marriage. There is, but you will need support, both legal and emotional.   If you are married to someone who exhibits narcissistic traits or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then you need to accept that your husband or wife won’t think that they are at fault or that anything they do is wrong. It can, therefore, be futile to have direct discussions on the reasons behind why you think the relationship is at an end. If they are a narcissist, they won’t engage or accept any fault.   A narcissist will turn any discussion about your marriage and separation into a tirade on looking at the impact of what is happening on them, rather than the impact on you or the children. If you have the sort of personality that gets stressed or know you will end up too frazzled to deal with the separation if your spouse starts to belittle you, then it may be best to leave things in the hands of your divorce solicitor. A divorce lawyer who has experience with narcissistic personality disorders and divorce will have the strategies to sort out your separation and divorce.  Divorce proceedings and narcissists Getting divorced is now straightforward, as you do not need to blame your spouse, nor do they need to blame you. That’s because the UK government has introduced no-fault divorce.   In no-fault divorce proceedings, the applicant for a divorce must be able to say that, in their opinion, the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The applicant’s opinion is sufficient. There is no need for the other spouse to agree and no need to substantiate the claim that the marriage is at an end with examples of unreasonable behaviour.   When a narcissist thinks that they are not in control of a situation, they can try to stop you from doing what you plan. That is not possible with no-fault divorce proceedings, as the applicant can decide to start the divorce application, and the respondent only has very limited grounds to object to the divorce.  The grounds to object to the divorce are limited to areas such as: You are not legally married. The respondent has already initiated divorce proceedings in another country. The English court does not have the jurisdiction to grant a divorce as neither spouse is domiciled or habitually resident in England and Wales.   Although a spouse with a narcissistic personality disorder cannot stop you from getting divorced, they can make the process challenging. Their behaviour may deteriorate, and that can be a concern if you are still living together in the family home or trying to negotiate a financial settlement or parenting arrangements once you are living in separate households. You need a strong, no-nonsense solicitor on your side who won’t get caught up in your spouse’s tirades but instead will focus on your divorce and sorting out the arrangements for the children and the financial settlement. Getting help with a narcissist spouse When you are separating or getting divorced from a narcissist spouse, you need all the legal and emotional support you can get. Your friends and family may not realise what you have been through and are currently coping with. That is because your spouse may present a ‘front’ to the outside world where they appear charming and worried about you and your ‘breakdown.’   First and foremost, there is no point in challenging what your spouse is saying to friends and family. If you do, then it is only likely to fuel matters as your husband or wife won’t be able to see the error of their ways as they are only able to see things from their perspective. That can be very hard for you to cope with. That’s why seeing a counsellor or therapist can help you see the situation you are in for what it is, rather than accepting your spouse’s interpretation of events based on their fantasy world where you are the only one at fault. Divorce and the narcissist parent When you are divorcing a husband or wife with narcissist traits or who has a narcissistic personality disorder, it is easy to feel very guilty about your children and in a quandary about what to do about childcare arrangements. Whilst your spouse is only likely to be interested in themselves, they may ask the court to order that the children live with him or her as part of their mind control games or because they know their stance will frighten you.   Whilst it can be tempting to say that a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder should not have contact with their children after the separation or divorce, this may not be realistic. For example, older children may want ongoing contact with the other parent, or you may need help with childcare. What’s more, if you say that you do not want your child to have contact with the other parent, they may raise accusations of parental alienation even though all you are trying to do is to protect your child from a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder. If you and your spouse end up in court over the childcare arrangements, it is essential that: Your husband or wife’s narcissistic traits are outlined neutrally, and The impact of their behaviour on you and your children is fully explained. That is important because many of the behaviours of a narcissist amount to abuse, such as controlling or coercive behaviour.   In an application for a child arrangement order, the court must consider any allegations of domestic abuse carefully. Abuse includes emotional abuse or psychological abuse of you or the children. If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the narcissistic parent if the court is satisfied that the physical and emotional safety of the child and the parent with whom the child lives can, as far as possible, be secured before, during and after the contact. An experienced Cheshire divorce solicitor can put the case in children proceedings for expert reports on a parent with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits. A psychologist or other expert can be asked to report on either the parent or on the whole family and assess the impact of the narcissistic parent’s behaviour on you and the children. Many divorcing partners are wary about labelling a narcissistic parent an ‘abuser’, but it is essential to recognise that abuse isn’t just physical and the effects of coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious on you and your children. A specialist divorce lawyer can help you recognise that and work out childcare arrangements that best protect your children, or can robustly represent you in court proceedings.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How to get a financial settlement from a narcissist Usually, a finance solicitor will recommend that they negotiate with your spouse to reach a financial settlement or provide legal advice to you between family mediation sessions. If your spouse is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then the advice may be different. That’s because it can be impossible to negotiate with a narcissist, as they always think they are right and can’t see anyone else’s point of view, other than their own. To the narcissist, it is all about their financial wants and needs and not yours or the children’s needs.   If you start financial court proceedings, there is a court timetable put in place so your spouse can’t delay or prevaricate, and the judge can ultimately decide on what financial orders are made. No one likes to think that a judge will take control of the family finances and make a financial court order deciding whether, for example, the family home should be sold or if you should get a share of the pension or the family business. However, when you are dealing with a narcissist, there may be little alternative as your spouse won’t be prepared to compromise.   You may think that you know your spouse and that even if the family judge makes an order to transfer the family home into your sole name, your spouse will not sign the paperwork to do so. The court is used to dealing with spouses who won’t cooperate. If necessary, the judge can sign the property paperwork on behalf of your spouse. The court also has the power to make financial disclosure orders and to draw adverse inferences if your spouse won’t accept the authority of the court.   Narcissistic spouses like to think that they are very powerful, during the relationship and the divorce, children and financial proceedings. That is why it is so important that you choose a divorce solicitor who won’t be intimidated or fazed by your spouse’s behaviour. Instead, your divorce solicitor will focus on securing your divorce and obtaining children and financial court orders that best meet yours and your children’s needs.   Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice with experience in handling divorces where a spouse has a narcissistic personality disorder. Contact us today and let us help you Our latest blogs

If parents are honest about their fears surrounding coming out of a bad relationship, one of their biggest worries is whether their ex can take their child. In this blog, our specialist Northwest family lawyers look at whether your ex can take your child and your options. For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Worried ex-partner will take my child Sometimes it is just a fear that your former partner and your child’s other parent will take your child or not return them when their parenting time has finished. In other family scenarios, your ex-husband, wife or partner may want to take the child as they know that is the one thing that will devastate you, or they may genuinely want to look after the child as much as you do, but the two of you can’t agree on the childcare arrangements. Talking to a family law solicitor can help you decide if your fears justify applying for a court order, such as: A child arrangement order A prohibited steps order A specific issue order An injunction order Will the police help if my ex-partner takes my child? If your child is taken, your first thought may be to call the police, and in any situation where you fear that your child is at risk of harm, then that is the best thing to do. Risk of harm is always a balancing act, so whilst you may think that your child is being harmed by staying with their other parent, the police may not think so unless there is some evidence that the child is at risk. The police won’t remove a child from a parent’s care unless there is an apparent risk of immediate harm. Generally, the police will say that, except in emergencies, family and children's law matters should be resolved by the family court. That usually involves one parent applying to court for a child arrangement order or asking the court to enforce an existing order and return the child to their care. The police approach should not stop a parent from calling them in situations where you have genuine welfare concerns, such as: A parent with anger management issues. Where there were domestic violence issues in the relationship. A parent who appears under the influence of alcohol or drugs and is incapable of safely caring for the child. Apply for a family court order to protect your child There are some family scenarios where it is best to get a family court order so you can show the order to the police. For example: If you fear that your ex-partner will take your child overseas without your agreement, you can apply to the family court for a prohibited steps order to prevent the child from being taken abroad. If you are concerned that you or your child is at risk of domestic violence, then you can apply to the court for an injunction order. If you are worried about the safety of your child while they are spending time with your ex-partner, you can ask the court to make a child arrangements order. A child arrangements order can prevent direct contact or stipulate that contact should only occur if supervised, or can establish limits and conditions for the contact.   Take legal advice if you are worried that your ex may take your child As every family situation is unique, it is advisable to seek legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances and to assess the best options for your family. Children law solicitors say that if you are worried about your ex taking your child, it is best to take specialist legal advice as quickly as possible because: A children solicitor will be able to tell you where you stand legally. Often, knowing your rights can help alleviate your worries. It may be necessary to apply for an urgent court order, such as an injunction order or take immediate action to prevent child abduction to an overseas country by securing a prohibited steps order. A solicitor’s letter to your ex-partner or an application for a child arrangements order may be needed to formalise the childcare arrangements and ensure that your ex-partner is aware of the consequences of breaching your agreement or the child arrangements order. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if a parent breaches a court order and takes a child? If a parent breaches a family court order, such as a child arrangements order, prohibited steps order or specific issue order, enforcement action can be taken. It can be tempting to apply directly to court to enforce an order, but it is best to consult with a family lawyer before doing so. For example, if a parent has returned a child home late on one occasion, starting enforcement action for a breach of a child arrangements order may not be appropriate. However, if late returns on a Sunday night are a regular occurrence and are affecting schooling, it may be appropriate to act. Children solicitors say that if an order is breached, you may need to take speedy action. For example: If a parent keeps a child after a contact visit was due to end, you don’t want to leave things so that the other parent can then argue that the status quo of the child living with you has changed and that the child is now happy and settled with them. If child abduction overseas is feared, then it is vital that speedy action is taken to avoid the child being taken abroad. That is because if the child is taken to a country that isn’t a signatory to the Hague Convention, it may be hard to get an order for the child’s immediate return to the UK.   Regardless of the nature of the breach of court order, the court can enforce the order and impose penalties on the parent who has breached it. The penalties will depend on the court’s assessment of the circumstances surrounding the breach of the court order, as well as the severity and frequency of the breach. The court can: Impose a community service order and order a parent in breach of a child arrangement order to carry out up to 200 hours of community service. Fine the parent for breach of the court order. In rare cases, a prison sentence can be imposed on the parent in breach of the court order. Order a parent to pay the other parent compensation if the breach of the court order led to a loss, such as unpaid time off work.   As every breach of a court order has a different impact on a family, it is best to seek legal advice before applying to enforce an order, as it may be preferable to return to court to vary the existing child arrangements order or other type of children's order. We are Manchester and Cheshire Children Law Solicitors Our family lawyers specialise in separation and children law applications. If you are worried about your ex-partner taking your child or need representation in child arrangements order proceedings, call us or complete our online enquiry form. Our offices are in Whitefield, North Manchester, and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire. However, our lawyers also offer telephone and online appointments.

If you are considering stopping contact between your child and their other parent, it is advisable to talk to a family law solicitor before taking any action. In this blog, we examine the circumstances where, after a separation or divorce, one parent can prevent a child from seeing the other parent. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Stopping contact between a child and their parent After a separation or divorce, many parents want to stop their child from seeing the other parent. Sometimes those feelings are fleeting, a reaction to a parent arriving late for contact or due to an argument. In other families, one parent may believe that it is in their child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent. ​Regardless of the reasons for wanting to end contact, it's best to seek legal advice before taking any action. Stopping contact if there is an existing child arrangement order  If there is an existing child arrangement order in place, you may be in breach of the court order if you stop your child from seeing their other parent without first applying to the court to vary the child arrangement order to end or reduce the parenting time. Sometimes, the decision not to send a child to their parent for a contact visit can be difficult. In other situations, there may be immediate or serious welfare concerns, so you feel justified in not following the court order. As breaching a child arrangement order could result in enforcement action, it's best to understand your options, your former partner’s options and the court’s likely views on why you breached the child arrangement order, rather than waiting and applying to vary the child arrangement order and only then altering the parenting time. Stopping contact if there is no child arrangement order in place  If there is no child arrangement order in force, it is still best to get expert legal advice on the best course of action. That is because if you stop contact, your ex-partner may apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Depending on the current level of parenting time spent with the children and the reasons why you want to stop contact, your ex-partner may even be allowed to spend additional time with your child. Should you stop contact between a child and the other parent? There are certain scenarios in which contact between a parent and child should be stopped, as it is in the best interests of the child to do so. For example: If you have the grounds to fear child abduction and your child being taken out of the UK without your agreement, or You are worried that the other parent cannot safely care for the children during their parenting time and doesn’t have the insight into their mental health or addiction issues, or the extended family support to make their parenting time a safe experience for your child. However, there are other scenarios where it isn’t necessarily in your child’s best interests to stop contact, even though the cessation of contact would make life a lot easier for you, as you would not need to contact your ex-partner over the parenting arrangements. Reasons to stop contact There are many situations where one parent often wants to stop a child from having contact with the other parent. Reasons to stop contact include: The other parent has not paid child support or spousal maintenance. The other parent has met a new partner, and you feel angry or hurt about it. The other parent gives you a lot of hassle and grief over the parenting plan, and you feel they are trying to control you through the communication that they have with you over childcare. You are worried that your ex-partner will be violent towards you at either collection or drop-off time. The other parent is always late collecting or returning the child. The child does not do any homework whilst with the other parent and always returns tired after a weekend away, meaning that the child finds it hard to settle back into their routine and concentrate on their school work. The other parent won’t follow the same parenting routine as you, so you are seen as the disciplinarian and no fun. The child says derogatory things about you that they have heard from the other parent during their parenting time. The child says they don’t want to see the other parent because time spent with their other parent is boring, and they want to see their friends. The child doesn’t like the other parent’s new partner or their children. All the above are valid concerns that require legal advice and discussion with an expert children's law solicitor about how best to resolve them; however, the solution may not be to end all parenting time with the other parent. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if I stop my child from spending time with their other parent? If you stop contact between your child and the other parent, then the other parent could: Apply to the family court to enforce an existing child arrangement order. Apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Still turn up to see the child. For example, to collect the child from school. Walk away from family life and have no further contact. Your child may not want to end or reduce the amount of time they spend with their other parent, even if it is in their best interests to do so. Stopping contact may lead the child to feel hurt and angry towards you. In addition, the child may think of their other parent in an idealised fashion. As they are no longer having contact with the other parent, the child may forget that the other parent was late in collecting them or did nothing with them during the parenting time other than watch television. It can help to talk to a family law solicitor about the likely outcome of an application for a child arrangement order by the other parent or an application by you for a children order, such as a prohibited steps order. That’s because it is best to understand the approach the family court will take to stopping contact and how the judge will weigh up what future parenting arrangements are in your child’s best interests. Alternatives to going to court to stop contact A children's law solicitor can also discuss alternative options to applying to court to end contact, such as: Family mediation to help you explain to your ex-partner your concerns about contact. Protective orders, such as domestic violence injunction orders, if your ex-partner is harassing you, or you fear child abduction. Round table meeting with family lawyers to discuss your concerns and reach a resolution. For example, agreeing on a parenting plan with consistent parenting routines for the child or agreeing to supervised contact whilst your ex-partner is experiencing a period of mental ill-health or working on overcoming an addiction. Family therapy can be a safe place to discuss future parenting time. This can involve an older child, so they can explain how they feel about contact. Therefore, while it is tempting to sever contact between your child and their other parent, it is usually best to take some time to reflect and consider the legal consequences of such a decision. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.