If you are considering stopping contact between your child and their other parent, it is advisable to talk to a family law solicitor before taking any action. In this blog, we examine the circumstances where, after a separation or divorce, one parent can prevent a child from seeing the other parent. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Stopping contact between a child and their parent After a separation or divorce, many parents want to stop their child from seeing the other parent. Sometimes those feelings are fleeting, a reaction to a parent arriving late for contact or due to an argument. In other families, one parent may believe that it is in their child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent. ​Regardless of the reasons for wanting to end contact, it's best to seek legal advice before taking any action. Stopping contact if there is an existing child arrangement order  If there is an existing child arrangement order in place, you may be in breach of the court order if you stop your child from seeing their other parent without first applying to the court to vary the child arrangement order to end or reduce the parenting time. Sometimes, the decision not to send a child to their parent for a contact visit can be difficult. In other situations, there may be immediate or serious welfare concerns, so you feel justified in not following the court order. As breaching a child arrangement order could result in enforcement action, it's best to understand your options, your former partner’s options and the court’s likely views on why you breached the child arrangement order, rather than waiting and applying to vary the child arrangement order and only then altering the parenting time. Stopping contact if there is no child arrangement order in place  If there is no child arrangement order in force, it is still best to get expert legal advice on the best course of action. That is because if you stop contact, your ex-partner may apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Depending on the current level of parenting time spent with the children and the reasons why you want to stop contact, your ex-partner may even be allowed to spend additional time with your child. Should you stop contact between a child and the other parent? There are certain scenarios in which contact between a parent and child should be stopped, as it is in the best interests of the child to do so. For example: If you have the grounds to fear child abduction and your child being taken out of the UK without your agreement, or You are worried that the other parent cannot safely care for the children during their parenting time and doesn’t have the insight into their mental health or addiction issues, or the extended family support to make their parenting time a safe experience for your child. However, there are other scenarios where it isn’t necessarily in your child’s best interests to stop contact, even though the cessation of contact would make life a lot easier for you, as you would not need to contact your ex-partner over the parenting arrangements. Reasons to stop contact There are many situations where one parent often wants to stop a child from having contact with the other parent. Reasons to stop contact include: The other parent has not paid child support or spousal maintenance. The other parent has met a new partner, and you feel angry or hurt about it. The other parent gives you a lot of hassle and grief over the parenting plan, and you feel they are trying to control you through the communication that they have with you over childcare. You are worried that your ex-partner will be violent towards you at either collection or drop-off time. The other parent is always late collecting or returning the child. The child does not do any homework whilst with the other parent and always returns tired after a weekend away, meaning that the child finds it hard to settle back into their routine and concentrate on their school work. The other parent won’t follow the same parenting routine as you, so you are seen as the disciplinarian and no fun. The child says derogatory things about you that they have heard from the other parent during their parenting time. The child says they don’t want to see the other parent because time spent with their other parent is boring, and they want to see their friends. The child doesn’t like the other parent’s new partner or their children. All the above are valid concerns that require legal advice and discussion with an expert children's law solicitor about how best to resolve them; however, the solution may not be to end all parenting time with the other parent. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if I stop my child from spending time with their other parent? If you stop contact between your child and the other parent, then the other parent could: Apply to the family court to enforce an existing child arrangement order. Apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Still turn up to see the child. For example, to collect the child from school. Walk away from family life and have no further contact. Your child may not want to end or reduce the amount of time they spend with their other parent, even if it is in their best interests to do so. Stopping contact may lead the child to feel hurt and angry towards you. In addition, the child may think of their other parent in an idealised fashion. As they are no longer having contact with the other parent, the child may forget that the other parent was late in collecting them or did nothing with them during the parenting time other than watch television. It can help to talk to a family law solicitor about the likely outcome of an application for a child arrangement order by the other parent or an application by you for a children order, such as a prohibited steps order. That’s because it is best to understand the approach the family court will take to stopping contact and how the judge will weigh up what future parenting arrangements are in your child’s best interests. Alternatives to going to court to stop contact A children's law solicitor can also discuss alternative options to applying to court to end contact, such as: Family mediation to help you explain to your ex-partner your concerns about contact. Protective orders, such as domestic violence injunction orders, if your ex-partner is harassing you, or you fear child abduction. Round table meeting with family lawyers to discuss your concerns and reach a resolution. For example, agreeing on a parenting plan with consistent parenting routines for the child or agreeing to supervised contact whilst your ex-partner is experiencing a period of mental ill-health or working on overcoming an addiction. Family therapy can be a safe place to discuss future parenting time. This can involve an older child, so they can explain how they feel about contact. Therefore, while it is tempting to sever contact between your child and their other parent, it is usually best to take some time to reflect and consider the legal consequences of such a decision. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

One of the most emotive topics after a separation or divorce is how often a father can see his child. In this blog, Northwest family law solicitor Louise Halford explains the law regarding parenting time after separation or divorce. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. How often can a father see his child after a parental separation? There is no rule on how often a father can see his child after a parental separation. As specialist family law solicitors, we have negotiated parenting plans or secured child arrangement orders that say: The child lives with their dad and spends some parenting time with mum, or There is a shared parenting regime, or The children live with their mum and their dad has contact. In extreme cases, where there are significant welfare concerns, the court can order supervised parenting time or even no contact. Our family lawyers recommend that neither parent attend the parenting negotiations with a fixed idea of the parenting time that must take place. In most families, there isn't only one solution that will meet the children's needs to have an ongoing relationship with both parents. Do children always stay with their mothers after a separation or divorce? It used to be the case that after a separation or divorce, most children lived with their mother, and their father had parenting time or contact. In many families, that remains the position. However, instead of it always being assumed that a child will live with their mother nowadays, all options are on the table, including the child living with their father, the child having contact with their mother, or a shared care arrangement. It isn’t so much that the law has changed, but societal attitudes and working practices have changed. For a long time, the court has focused on what child law order is in the best interests of the child when determining court applications over parenting time. As every child and family is different, family lawyers must consider family circumstances before advising on parenting arrangements or when advising on a child arrangement order application. Custody, residence and child arrangement orders In the past, when a father traditionally went out to work and the mother was a stay-at-home parent or worked part-time, it was often thought best that a child should continue to live with the primary caregiver or the parent who was available to meet their day-to-day needs. With both parents now often working full-time, the best interests of the child may be best served by a shared care arrangement. The change in working patterns and societal norms has prompted a change in legal language. Lawyers no longer talk about custody, contact and residence, but rather parenting time. Is a father entitled to shared care if he wants to co-parent his child after a separation or divorce? Although much is written in the media about shared parenting being the norm or ideal, neither a mother nor a father is ‘entitled’ to share the care of their child after a separation or divorce. That’s because if parents can’t agree on the childcare arrangements for their child and the court is asked to make a child arrangement order, the court will assess what order is in their child’s best interests. Shared parenting (whether that is an exactly equal split of parenting time or a sixty-forty split of time or other percentage) may be the best option for the child, but not necessarily. Equal shared parenting time may not be in the best interests of a child if: Parents don’t live, or are not intending to live, relatively close to one another to ensure that the child can get to school from both homes, or The child prefers to have one home base, rather than moving between homes, or One parent’s work commitment means that if parenting were shared, the reality is that the child would be looked after during that parent’s parenting time by extensive use of professional carers, or The parents don’t get on at all and won’t cooperate over parenting, making frequent handovers for the child disruptive and distressing. Shared care can be ideal, but it isn’t practical for every family, and therefore it isn't in the best interests of every child whose parents separate or divorce. When looking at childcare arrangements, it is best not to think of ‘entitlement’ but what arrangements are likely to meet your child’s needs. Is shared parenting the best option for children and their dads? Most child experts say that spending an equal amount of parenting time with a child after a separation or divorce isn’t the key to successful parenting, but ensuring that the time you do spend with your children is ‘quality’ time. For parenting time to be quality time, it doesn’t have to be expensive outings, but being able to set aside time to read with younger children, help with homework, or transport to football practice, ballet club or just talking and taking an interest in what your children are doing at school or when they are with their other parent.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How often can a father see his child? Fathers often want to know the worst-case and best-case scenarios of how they will usually be able to see their child after a separation or divorce. A great deal depends on your circumstances.  For example, contact will be restricted if a mother successfully applies for a relocation order to enable her to move overseas with the child, or parenting time will be more limited if a father has to relocate to a new area in the UK due to his work commitments. Many parents agree to split the week so that children spend roughly equal amounts of time with each parent. For other families, the preferred option is for a child to live with one parent during the week and have midweek and alternate weekend parenting time with the other parent. Contact with the child every weekend would mean that the residential parent of a school-age child would not spend any quality time with the child over the weekend. There is therefore no set rule about how often a father can see his child. That can be frustrating for some fathers who want certainty after a separation or divorce. However, not having set rules means that parents can work out what child parenting arrangements or co-parenting schedule works best for their family, or the court can be asked to make a child arrangement order after assessing what is best for your child rather than following a fixed formula. Manchester and Cheshire Children Law Solicitors If you need help with your separation or divorce, negotiating parenting time or representation in a child arrangement order application, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. We have offices in Whitefield, North Manchester and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, but we can also arrange a telephone appointment or online consultation.

In this blog, Louise Halford, a family lawyer specialising in children's law, examines what children want from shared parenting.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice.   What is shared parenting? To some, shared parenting means equal parenting, where a child’s time is split equally between the two parental households. To the court and family lawyers, shared parenting is a more encompassing concept. A child can live with one parent under a child arrangement order but participate in a shared parenting arrangement because their other parent has contact and actively cares for them. Take the case of two separated parents who parent 50/50 but don’t communicate with one another, unless they have no choice. The anger and animosity during their separation and in financial settlement negotiations meant their divorce was labelled as high-conflict. They are now engaged in shared parenting, but not in the spirit of it. Contrast their co-parenting with a Mother who has a child arrangement order and a child who lives with her 60% of the time. You may think that isn't shared parenting, but the Dad is actively engaged in all important parental decision-making, and both parents communicate with one another to provide their child with consistent parenting and routines. As a children lawyer, Louise Halford prefers to use the broad definition of shared parenting as that encapsulates what shared parenting should be. It should not relate to percentages or the hours spent with a child, but rather to sharing the job of being a parent and quality time.   The court's approach to shared parenting The court has moved away from weekend contact to an absent parent (traditionally the Dad), and nowadays, a child arrangement order with shared parenting is usual unless: The parents engaged in a high-conflict divorce, or There was domestic violence in the parental relationship, or Child welfare reasons prevent shared parenting, or The child is of an age to say that they do not want a shared parenting arrangement, or Geographical reasons make shared parenting impractical. Child welfare issues include factors such as parental alcohol or drug addiction, mental health, or other issues that lead the court to conclude that a shared parenting arrangement is not in the child’s best interests.   Shared parenting after a high-conflict divorce It can be hard for separated or divorced parents to put aside their differences and focus on shared parenting. High conflict between parents can stem from: One or both parents' behaviour during the relationship. One parent has met a new partner, and the other parent does not think the new partner is a good role model for their child. Difficult financial settlement negotiations, or one parent is unhappy with the terms of a financial court order. Unwanted interference from extended family or new partners. Children focused on creating parental conflict as it suits their agenda to play one parent off against the other.   The consequences of high conflict in shared parenting Some of the consequences of high-conflict divorce in shared parenting arrangements are: The children don’t want to move between the two households as it is too emotionally draining. Children are embarrassed by the parental conflict and don’t want their friends to witness it. The children work hard to fit in and be the children their parents want them to be during their parenting time – the children lead a double life. Children mask and pretend that the conflict between their parents isn't affecting them. Children act out because they are caught in the middle of a parental war.   Research on what children want from shared parenting You would think it would be relatively easy to download the latest research on what children want from shared parenting and quote relevant chunks of data. However, it is far from easy. A lot of internet searching led us to an article published in April 2015 in The International Journal of Children's Rights, ‘’A qualitative synthesis of children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post separation.’’ [related_posts]   Data on children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post-separation  The 2015 article in The International Journal of Children's Rights pulls together international research on children’s experiences of shared cared parenting post-separation from studies conducted in various countries. Here is a snippet from the article that references two of the research studies: ‘’The line that differentiates sole versus shared care is arbitrary, adult-construed, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the children involved. Rather than a binary legal argument, children consider multiple factors when assessing the parenting plan that may work best for them (Sadowski and McIntosh, in press; Whitehead, 2012). Participants across the studies seem to favour shared care when they were provided input into the decision-making process, when parents respect and integrate their feelings and concerns, when the parenting plan emphasised and maximised their time with both parents, and when the plan supported a continuous and meaningful relation- ship with both parents and their siblings post separation and divorce (Blackwell, 1992; Cashmore et al., 2010; Lodge and Alexander, 2010)’’. In summary, the various research studies referred to in the article show: Living arrangements with flexible contact between both parents were the preferred arrangement across studies. Children appreciate the opportunity to see their other parent and the flexibility to visit their other home when needed. Children appreciate shared care that provides them with a regular routine and a sense of being wanted by both parents. Children prefer shared care when they were asked for their views on how shared care will work, and when parents respect their views and the plan allows for meaningful time with both parents. Children appreciate shared parenting that allows for flexibility, enabling the plan to be adjusted to fit the child’s priorities and commitments. Young adults sometimes prefer to have one home because they want to concentrate on school or find it hard to study in a parental household with younger half-siblings. Children get frustrated when a parenting plan does not allow them to spend quality time with one parent. Some children, especially when parents conflict with one another, find shared parenting difficult. Some children expressed a preference for stability and a regular routine. The type of shared parenting arrangement has a significant impact on how it works for the child. Some children took the view that an alternating week schedule with each parent was too disruptive for them. The children said that sharing their time between both parents did not weaken their sibling relationships or adversely impact their childhood friendships.   Lessons from the 2015 research The research studies in the 2015 paper tell family lawyers what children want from shared parenting: To be heard and to feel that they have a voice. For parents to work together to make shared parenting work. Parenting plans based on a child’s needs rather than a parent's desire to have 50/50 time. Flexible shared care to meet a child’s calendar of sports activities, friendships and commitments. Shared care arrangements that adjust as children's needs change over time. One of the key points in the 2015 article was the importance of listening to the child. In one study, a child described attending a school event with both parents. To outsiders, it must have appeared to be a successful shared parenting arrangement. However, to the child, it was awful, as they recognised their parents’ body language and the fact that neither was prepared to speak to the other.  The article highlights that what children want from shared parenting is the real thing: parents who can communicate and share parenting responsibilities between two households, rather than high-conflict parents pretending to engage in shared parenting.   Shared parenting legal advice Parents may need help understanding how shared parenting affects their children when parenting styles conflict, there is a high level of parental conflict, or when practical issues, such as distances between parents’ homes, make shared parenting difficult to navigate. It is equally important for parents to understand the impact of a shared care regime on the financial settlement and child support arrangements. Whilst money should not affect the decision on the type of parenting plan that meets the needs of your children, for most parents, the financial impact is a key consideration. Where parenting time is shared equally, the Child Maintenance Service rules say that no child support is payable, even if there is a significant income discrepancy. Those child maintenance rules can make it difficult for some parents to agree to a shared parenting regime, even in situations where they get along, unless the ex-spouse is willing to pay child maintenance voluntarily. When parents are splitting up, it's best to discuss openly with older children and the other parent the type of parenting arrangement that will best suit your family after your separation. Those discussions can take place jointly with the child, individually with each parent or with professional help. The help could come through a child-inclusive family mediation or family therapy. At Evolve Family Law, our children's law solicitors provide comprehensive legal advice, ensuring parents receive the support they need to understand the financial and practical implications of agreeing to a shared parenting arrangement. If an agreement cannot be reached, we can advise and represent you in an application for a child arrangement order.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice. ‍ ‍

If you are going through a separation or divorce, you are bound to have lots of questions about your child custody rights or want to ask questions about residence, contact or access orders. In this article, children law expert Louise Halford answers your frequently asked questions on child arrangement orders. For expert Divorce and Children Law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.   What is a child arrangement order? A child arrangement order is a court order that sets out parenting arrangements for children when there is a dispute between parents over their child’s living arrangements. The order is a combined order, as it will outline where the children will live (formerly referred to as a custody order or residence order) and the spending time with arrangements (formerly referred to as an access order or contact order). Do I need a child arrangement order? You only need a child arrangement order if you can’t agree on the parenting arrangements for your children. If you cannot reach an agreement directly with your ex-partner, your children's law solicitor can help you resolve issues through alternative dispute resolution. Alternative dispute resolution keeps disputes out of court. There are several ways to reach a parenting agreement without going to court. These include: Family mediation. Family arbitration. Amicable divorce with our one-lawyer service. Solicitor negotiations. Direct negotiations. The family court will not routinely make a child arrangement order to record what you have agreed unless there is a history of dispute or a real reason for the order. Will a child arrangement order let me take my children abroad? If you are named as the parent a child lives with in a child arrangement order, you can take your children abroad on holiday for up to four weeks without needing the other parent’s agreement. However, even with a child arrangement order, you can’t move overseas with your children without the other parent’s agreement or a court order. If the other parent won’t agree to your plans to relocate overseas with the children, then you need to apply for a relocation order. Can you change a child arrangement order? A child arrangement order can be changed either by: Both parents record that they agree to the parenting change, or By applying back to the family court to vary the child arrangement order. For example, if you agree that the children should be returned home at 6 pm rather than the old time of 5 pm, the agreement to the change could be recorded in a text or email without incurring the expense of a court application. However, if your child wants to move to live with you and the other parent won’t agree, then you will need to apply to the court to vary the child arrangement order. You should not change the child arrangement order without taking advice, as you do not want to be accused of breaching the court order.   Child arrangement orders and child support A child arrangement order does not say if one parent should pay child support to the other parent. Child support is arranged by: Agreement between parents, or Assessment by the Child Maintenance Service, or In limited situations, the court can make a child support order. The general rule is that when a child spends an equal amount of time with both parents, neither parent is required to pay child support. That rule applies even when one parent earns more than the other parent under the Child Maintenance Service rules. Child support rules are complicated. It's best to speak to a family law solicitor about your entitlement to child support before reaching a financial settlement or agreeing to a parenting plan. You might also be interested in [related_posts] Shared care and child arrangement orders A child arrangement order can specify the parent the children will live with and set out the contact or spending time arrangements with the other parent. Alternatively, a child arrangement order can stipulate that parenting is shared and outline the details of the shared parenting arrangement. It does not necessarily have to be a 50/50 split each week. Ideally, a child arrangement order will also set out how holiday contact will be arranged. For example, parents may have alternate year Christmas Day contact, or school holiday contact will be divided equally on dates to be agreed upon between the parents. With a child arrangement order, can you make all important decisions regarding your child? If you have a child arrangement order, it does not allow you to make all the important decisions for your child and exclude the other parent from decision-making. Important decisions include: Choice of school. Whether to follow a religion and the extent of faith observances. Medical decisions. If both parents have parental responsibility for their child, they both have equal rights and responsibilities over major decision-making. Where parental responsibility is shared and both parents cannot reach an agreement over an aspect of parenting, then either parent can apply to the family court for a specific issue order or a prohibited steps order. The court will decide based on what the judge believes to be in the child’s best interests. Who can apply for a child arrangement order? It isn’t just parents who can apply to court for a child arrangement order. Others have an automatic right to apply for a child arrangement order, such as: Step-parents, or A relative if the child has been living with the relative for twelve months, or Anyone who has looked after the child for three years or more. In addition to those with an automatic right to apply for a child arrangement order, others can apply for permission to apply for a child arrangement order. This typically covers situations where a grandparent wants to obtain an order to have contact with a grandchild. How Evolve Family Law can help you with sorting out parenting arrangements If you need help with a child arrangement order application, our specialist children law solicitors are here to help you. We can assist you by: Representation in an application for a child arrangement order. Applying to vary a child arrangement order. Family mediation to help you reach a parenting agreement. Legal advice by offering legal services whilst you mediate with an alternative mediator. If you are divorcing amicably, consider our Amicable Divorce One Lawyer service.   For expert Divorce and Children Law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

If you have separated from your partner or you are mid-way through divorce proceedings, the most important thing to sort out is the childcare arrangements for your children. As parents, you need to decide whether your children will be co-parented, parallel parented, or if one parent will be the primary parent, looking after the children full-time, with the other parent spending time with them. Whatever child care arrangement you choose, a parenting plan can help both parents understand the ground rules and reduce the risk of disputes and court applications for child arrangement orders. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Children law solicitor, Louise Halford, answers your frequently asked questions on parenting plans: What is a parenting plan? How do I agree on a parenting plan? What should be included in a parenting plan? How do you change a parenting plan?  What is a parenting plan? A parenting plan is a document created by parents to outline the parenting arrangements for a child or children following a separation or divorce. Parents can agree upon a parenting plan, or it can be made after children's court proceedings for a: Child arrangement order. Specific issue order. Prohibited steps order. Relocation order. How do I agree on a parenting plan? There are many ways that parents can agree on a parenting plan. You can use a template and prepare one yourself. Sometimes, that is a bad idea, as ‘going it alone’ may lead to arguing with your ex-partner and polarising your positions. With the help of a children's law solicitor or family mediator, you may be able to discuss child care arrangements and reach a compromise. At Evolve Family Law, our solicitors are committed to helping parents reach an agreement on post-separation parenting arrangements for their children without needing to apply to court for a child arrangement order. We can do this through: Solicitor negotiations. Family mediation with our family law mediator. Family arbitration. Using our amicable divorce one lawyer service. Sometimes, a parent has no choice but to apply to the court for a child arrangement order. For example, if one parent is not able to provide a satisfactory level of care or if they fear the other parent will take the child overseas to live. To understand your options, book a consultation with one of our specialist family law solicitors. What should go into a parenting plan? Every child and family is different, so your parenting plan should be tailored to your individual needs and those of your child. The fact that a family member, a neighbour, or a friend has a parenting plan should not influence what should go into your parenting plan. That is because your parenting plan needs to outline the best agreement for your family, taking into account your family's circumstances and personal preferences. For example, some parents share care of their children, with the children spending an equal amount of time with each parent. Other parents prefer their children to have one home base during the week and to share quality time on weekends and school holidays. Neither option is the ‘best’ or the right one, as so much depends on your family and each parent’s work commitments and the distance between the two homes. Every parenting plan should consider including what has been agreed on, such as: Home base– unless parenting is to be shared equally. Contact or shared parenting arrangements, such as the agreed-upon times for collection and return, drop-off points, and who will do the collections and returns. The practical points on shared care and regular contact, such as the washing and return of school uniforms, the supervision of homework or who is responsible for clothes and shoes shopping or haircuts. Whether phone contact is to take placebetween parent and child, and, if so, the frequency of phone calls so that they do not become too restrictive or intrusive for a parent with the care of a younger child. Special contact(child and parents' birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, as well as Christmas and religious observance days) and holidays. Best method of communication between parentsif contact or other arrangements need to be changed. For example, mobile, text or email. Communication may be necessary to cancel a visit or to agree on a coordinated approach to buying birthday presents. Who is responsible for medical and dental appointments, and communication about appointments, or to say if a child is ill or hospitalised. How will you deal with parent evenings at school, or attendance at school plays, or sports days? How will you address the introduction of new partners and their children, and the communication of the information to your ex-partner? This type of information is helpful so that the other parent does not find out about new relationships or remarriage through the child. Whilst you may not want to communicate this type of personal information or receive the news about your ex-partner’s new relationship, a significant reason for child care arrangement breakdown is non-communication over adult issues that also affect your child. Holiday plans– if you plan to go on holiday during your holiday contact time, is it agreed that you need to inform the other parent about your planned trips overseas or to a destination in the UK and give agreed key information such as flight times and numbers and hotel details and who else who will be accompanying the child on holiday. For example, a new partner and their children. Parenting plan changes– how you will agree to make changes to the parenting plan.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How do you change a parenting plan? Children's wants and needs change over time. What are the appropriate parenting arrangements for a two-year-old who is not in school may be completely different from those for an eleven-year-old. By the time a child is in their teenage years, the arrangements will need to change again. Add to the mix that your circumstances may change with a new job, house, or relationship, and the arrival of additional children or stepchildren. Likewise, your ex-partner’s circumstances are likely to change, necessitating a review of the parenting plan. The fact that a parenting plan needs to be changed should not be a sign of defeat. For example, your five-year-old may struggle to cope with equal co-parenting, even if their cousin or other children in their class can manage it. Some children are just more adaptable than others. Alternatively, a parenting plan may need changing or tweaking because the only reason that a child is struggling with co-parenting or parallel parenting is different parenting regimes in the two households and two parenting styles that are confusing to the child because as soon as a child has got used to one routine they move to their other parent’s home. Agreeing to a change in the parenting plan A parenting plan can be changed by email, or you may prefer a meeting; alternatively, you can set up an annual review to discuss how things are working. The best thing is that if anything about the child care arrangements is ‘bugging you’, you do not let things fester, so they do not become acrimonious or even lead to children's law court proceedings. Instead, it is preferable to agree to review the parenting plan, perhaps with the help of a children's law solicitor or family mediator, before the arrangements break down or positions are polarised. It is also helpful to remember that as children get older, they will want to have a say in the parenting plan. For example, the ten o’clock Saturday contact start time may work for you, but your teenager may want to stay in bed until noon or go out with their mates on a Saturday night. The key point with a parenting plan is that it should evolve with you and your family. Just because something worked in the past doesn’t mean it's necessarily the best approach for your child or your ex-partner now. How can a children's law solicitor at Evolve Family Law help? If you are struggling to agree on child care arrangements after your separation or divorce, or you want to change your parenting plan and your ex-partner is resisting, Evolve Family Law can help you to reach an agreement or secure a child arrangement order. We are North West and Online Children Law Solicitors: For expert family law advice, call us now or complete our online enquiry form.

In certain situations, you may be able to skip mediation and proceed directly to court to resolve a family law dispute. In this article, our North West divorce solicitors explore why you may want to consider alternatives to family mediation. Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on how to resolve your family law disagreement effectively. Is mediation compulsory? If you are separating from your husband, wife, civil partner or unmarried partner, there are many matters to resolve, such as: The parenting arrangements for your children Who will stay in the family home Whether maintenance and child support will be paid The financial settlement if you are married or in a civil partnership The property settlement if you were in a cohabiting relationship Whether divorce proceedings should be started and by whom Mediation can resolve all these matters and others. Mediation is not compulsory. It is a voluntary alternative dispute resolution process. All parties to the mediation should attend voluntarily rather than through coercion. However, some people may feel compelled to mediate, as court rules make it clear that parties in most family law disputes must first attempt to resolve their issues outside of the court process. If you feel pressured to go to mediation, it's best to speak with a family law solicitor about your concerns and your alternative dispute resolution options. Trying out family mediation Family mediation begins with each party attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The purpose of the MIAM is for the mediator to: Give you information about mediation Discover what you want to achieve from mediation Determine if you are a suitable candidate for mediation Decide the type of mediation and mediator that best suits your needs MIAMs are usually held separately, allowing you to discuss any reservations about attending mediation and for the mediator to ask questions to ensure that mediation is suitable for you and your former partner. For example: It may not be apparent in the information sent to the mediator that you have experienced domestic violence in your relationship. In a dispute over parenting arrangements for your teenage children, you may want the children to have a say about their living and contact arrangements. A specially trained mediator can involve older children in child-inclusive mediation*. Your partner may inform the mediator that they are unwilling to provide any financial disclosure during mediation, which would render the process ineffective, as the mediator cannot compel such disclosure. In financial court proceedings, the court can order financial disclosure. Here is a link to a Family Mediation Council video that provides a more detailed explanation of child-inclusive mediation. Can I skip mediation? Here are some of the situations where you can skip family mediation and go straight into court proceedings: Your child is at risk of significant harm There is a threat of child abduction Risk of domestic violence Your ex-partner is disposing of assets Here are some examples of why you should bypass mediation: You fear your child will be taken overseas unless you secure a prohibited steps order to prevent parental child abduction by your ex-partner. Your estranged wife is selling or transferring assets, and you need the urgent protection of a Section 37 injunction order to stop them from disposing of assets to defeat your financial claims. There are serious current or historic domestic violence issues, and you do not think that any type of mediation is safe for you to engage in. There are other scenarios where you can bypass mediation and initiate court proceedings. Family law solicitors recommend seeking expert advice before skipping mediation, as the potential consequences of making an incorrect decision can be severe. Consequences of skipping mediation If you choose to bypass family mediation because you don’t like the sound of the process, rather than because there was a good reason for doing so, then the consequence may be: Delay Additional expense Risk of a cost order Risks associated with bypassing mediation Let's look at the risks of skipping mediation in more detail: You may think you are speeding things up by making an application to the court, but the court could decide to adjourn your application for mediation to take place. Your decision to proceed directly to court may have slowed things down, as you could have been attending mediation sessions for several months while waiting for a first court hearing date. Starting court proceedings when you could have reached an agreement outside court adds to your costs. For example, the court application fee and the time spent in preparing your financial settlement or child arrangement order In some family cases, a judge may order that you pay all or a proportion of the other party’s legal costs. The court may be more inclined to make a cost order against you if the judge thinks you didn’t follow the rules and rushed into a premature court application without giving mediation or alternative dispute resolution a chance. Deciding whether to skip mediation is a delicate balancing exercise that should be undertaken with the advice of a specialist divorce solicitor with a thorough understanding of the family law rules and the potential positive and negative implications of opting to bypass mediation. Why don’t you want to go to family mediation? People give several reasons for wanting to avoid family mediation. They include: Don’t think their ex-partner will go to mediation Don’t want to be in the same room as their former partner Won't be able to stand up for themselves in mediation Want to leave it to a judge to decide what happens Previous bad experience of mediation Addressing why you want to skip family mediation At a consultation meeting, a divorce solicitor can explain: What mediation is How family mediation works The measures that can be put in place to address concerns about attending mediation The alternatives to mediation The advantages and disadvantages of mediation [related_posts] What is family mediation? Family mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution that involves a specially trained family mediator. A family mediator is an impartial third party who helps a separated couple resolve family issues, such as child care arrangements or financial settlement. A family mediator will: Facilitate listening to one another, even when you may disagree with what the other person has to say. Help you find a resolution that works and is an acceptable compromise for both of you. A family mediator does not give legal advice to the parties. They are there as a neutral facilitator to help you reach an agreement. That’s why many separating couples find it helpful to speak to a family law solicitor between mediation sessions, so they understand their legal rights, the likely court outcomes and have the confidence to mediate a reasonable compromise. Types of family mediation Family mediation sessions usually take place with a family mediator sitting in a room with both parties. The mediator uses their skills to help you reach your agreement, rather than have an order imposed on you by a family court judge. However, this type of mediation may not be suitable for everyone. Alternatives are available. For example: Shuttle mediation - you and your partner do not meet in the same room; instead, the mediator shuttles between rooms to facilitate a mutually agreeable resolution. Solicitor-involved mediation - each of you can have your solicitor involved in the mediation sessions, as well as provide legal support outside of the mediation sessions. Measures to help mediation work for you These are some of the measures our North West family lawyers can put in place to help you get the best out of mediation: Write to your former partner to explain the implications of them choosing to skip mediation. Advise you on how to select a family mediator to resolve your family law dispute. Recommendations for shuttle mediation if you don’t want to be in the same room as your former partner. Discussing safety measures to enable you to attend mediation with confidence. For example, arriving at separate times to your ex-partner and not waiting in the same waiting room. Provide advice before you start mediation so you understand the range of orders the court has the power to make. Offer specialist advice between mediation sessions to give you the confidence to negotiate effectively during mediation meetings. Explain how counselling can provide the confidence boost you need to make mediation work. Advise on how experts can be effectively involved in the mediation process to facilitate a mutually beneficial agreement—for example, a pension actuary or forensic accountant. Legal representatives present during the mediation sessions to address the power imbalance. Depending on the reasons behind your reservations about mediation, our divorce solicitors may be able to suggest other measures to help make mediation work for you. The advantages of mediation Some people think that talking to their ex-partner is pointless. However, it is worth hearing about the advantages of mediation as an alternative dispute resolution option. The advantages of mediation are: It is often quicker than court proceedings It is cheaper than a court application You and your ex-partner set the mediation agenda, helped by the mediator The mediation process looks forward rather than analysing mistakes made during the relationship Mediation is less adversarial than court proceedings Mediation can come up with a bespoke solution to your family law dispute When you are separating from a former partner, the mediation advantages are important because: You need a decision so you can move on with your life. You and your ex need to spend as little as possible on dispute resolution so you have more to spend on your children or rehousing. Going over old ground, such as the reasons for the marriage breakdown, won't help you reach a financial settlement. If you plan to continue co-parenting your children, it is helpful to reach a parenting agreement that minimises conflict. In court proceedings, the family judge must follow family law rules. For example, the judge cannot consider the needs of adult children still living in the family home or the caring responsibilities of one spouse for aging parents. Mediation offers the flexibility to consider what is relevant to your family. The alternatives to family mediation If you are of the view that mediation isn't the best alternative dispute resolution option for you, then some of the other options are: Collaborative law Arbitration Roundtable meetings with legal representation Amicable Divorce - One Lawyer Divorce Why you should consult with a family lawyer before skipping mediation You should speak to a family lawyer before deciding whether to go to mediation because a specialist family law solicitor can: Explain the mediation process and your other alternative dispute resolution options. Help you choose the right type of mediation model and mediator to facilitate a mutually agreeable resolution with your former partner. Offer advice on potential likely outcomes, costs and timescales if you make an application to court for a divorce settlement or child arrangement order. Advise you if mediation is not appropriate, such as when you need an urgent court order, such as a prohibited steps order. Explain how they can provide legal support and guidance in between mediation sessions to give you the confidence to reach a mediated agreement. Convert your mediated agreement into a binding financial court order. Help you obtain a no-fault divorce, enabling you to implement parts of your financial court order, such as a pension sharing order. At Evolve Family Law, our family law specialists offer a mediation support service, providing all the advice and guidance you need, from your initial inquiry about mediation to helping you secure an agreed court order following a successful mediation. Speak with a Family Law Solicitor Today for Advice on Family Alternative Dispute Resolution Strategies.

If you are separating from your partner, it is important to seek specialist family legal advice on your rights from North West family solicitors. Knowing your rights can help you separate amicably. Consulting a family lawyer isn’t an adversarial step; it's just protecting your interests and helping you navigate the next steps to life after a separation or divorce. Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on your separation. Tips on how to separate from a partner Whether you are separating from a spouse, civil partner, or cohabiting partner, you need to talk to an expert family solicitor. Early knowledge about your separation legal rights is vital as the advice can affect your plans and timescales. There are five key issues to consider when contemplating a separation: 1. Has my relationship ended, or could it be revived? 2. Can I leave the relationship safely? 3. When and how do I tell my partner I am leaving? 4. When should the children be told that mum and dad are separating? 5. How do I sort out the legal, property or financial aspects of my separation? Has my relationship ended? It isn't always easy to tell if your relationship has ended. You may think relationship counselling could revive it, or a trial separation may help your relationship get back on track. Even if your relationship has definitely ended, some couples find joint counselling sessions helpful in achieving an amicable separation. Others benefit from individual counselling to help them come to terms with the relationship breakdown and move on with their lives. It's common to feel grief, anger, shame and a whole range of other emotions when you separate. If your former partner does not appear as affected by the end of the relationship, it may be because they have already emotionally detached from the family. That doesn’t mean your emotions are wrong, but it can help you to work through them with a counsellor or divorce coach. Can I leave my relationship safely? Whatever the legal status of your relationship, it's vital that your separation takes place safely. If you have: 1. Lived in a relationship with domestic abuse or 2. You fear domestic violence when you announce you want to leave or 3. You are concerned about ongoing coercive control after your separation. Injunction solicitors can help you secure a non-molestation, ouster, or occupation order to safeguard you and your family. Family law solicitors always recommend taking legal advice on your separation before you leave the family home. That advice applies to you even if: 1. You are unmarried, and your partner owns the property. 2. You are renting. 3. You don’t have children. 4. You don’t think you could afford the outgoings on the family home on your own. 5. Your ex hasn’t been violent. Leaving the family home when you don’t need to do so can put you on the back foot when negotiating a property settlement as an unmarried partner or a financial settlement as a spouse. If you have children, leaving the family home can be highly disruptive for them. Child support (and interim spousal maintenance if you are married) may allow you to stay at the family home until the separation or divorce is finalised and a financial court order is made. When and how do I tell my partner I am leaving? Telling your partner that your relationship is over, or hearing the news from them, is never easy. How and when you should have the ‘it isn’t working’ conversation depends on your circumstances. However, family lawyers always recommend talking to a solicitor first as their specialist legal advice may help you: 1. Decide on the timing of your separation and put a plan in action. For example, if you need an injunction order or the support of your family in telling your partner the relationship is at an end or in the immediate aftermath. 2. Organise your finances so you know how much income you will have if you are paying or receiving child support or spousal maintenance. 3. Help you understand whether you are likely to be able to stay in the family home whilst the financial and property aspects of your separation are sorted out. 4. Understand the likely parenting arrangements for your children. Temporary arrangements may need to be sorted out until future living arrangements are finalised. You may need an urgent child arrangement order if the separation is acrimonious. 5. Think about whether there are any risk factors, such as your ex trying to take your child overseas (this is parental child abduction if going abroad is without your consent) or trying to exert coercive control (to try to force you to stay in the relationship or to agree a financial settlement that suits them). [related_posts] When should the children be told that mum and dad are separating? Talking to your child or stepchild about the end of a parental relationship is a tough one. Many parents delay the discussion because it is so uncomfortable, and they think the children won't pick up on the atmosphere at home, whilst other parents want to ‘get in first.’ Ideally, parents should try to talk to their children together, but that can be too hard for some parents or counterproductive if there is a lot of anger about the separation. There is specialist help available, such as: • Supporting Children through Separation and Divorce | NSPCC • Supporting your child through divorce and separation | Cafcass • Helping children through separation | Gingerbread Legal advice on separation: How do I sort out the legal, property or financial aspects of my separation? If you are contemplating the future of your relationship or if your partner has told you that the relationship is over, you need to speak to a family solicitor to understand your rights. Talking to a lawyer doesn’t mean that you both need to ‘lawyer up’ and go to court to thrash out who gets custody of the kids or who stays in the house. At Evolve Family Law, we offer a fixed-fee relationship breakdown comprehensive initial review. The fee includes a meeting with a qualified lawyer to discuss all legal and practical aspects of your situation, including assessing the best routes to resolving it. That meeting may then enable you to use family mediation to achieve an amicable separation or to understand your rights and not feel totally at sea, not knowing what is reasonable to ask for or how the next steps will pan out after you have made the decision to separate. An initial consultation is equally helpful if your ex has announced that the relationship is ending and that you will need to pack your bags or that they will be doing so, leaving you devastated and wondering how you will cope with the children and the bills. At Evolve, we know that any separation is painful, but we try to ease your pain by giving you the information and support you need. At Evolve, our North West family law solicitors are: • Local with offices in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire and Manchester. • Specialists – we advise on family and private client law as we know what we know. • Tailored and bespoke – with us, you get advice tailored to you and your family. • Proactive – if you need urgent legal advice to protect your children or to secure an injunction, we have the specialist team you need on your side. • Ranked excellent on Trustpilot. Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on your separation.

You have come out of a court hearing and been vindicated. You were believed, and it feels great. You probably want to tell everyone that your ex got their comeuppance in court. Before contacting the Daily Mail or posting on Social Media, you need to be aware of the rules regarding what you can and cannot say about family law proceedings concerning your children. Our specialist family law solicitors can support you through children's law proceedings and provide guidance on the rules regarding confidentiality and transparency. If you need help with child residence or contact proceedings, phone Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Telling your story Whilst your experience with child arrangement order, specific issue order, relocation order, or prohibited steps order proceedings is your story, your child is entitled to their privacy. That’s why judges insist that all court proceedings concerning children are kept confidential. Parents are not allowed to disclose to anyone who isn’t a party to the children's law court application the proceedings or to show them court paperwork. There are some exceptions to this rule. For example, your family law solicitor will need to explain to a potential witness why they are requesting that they file a statement of evidence on their behalf. Alternatively, your family lawyer may need to ask permission from the court to disclose relevant court documents to a child psychologist, allowing the expert to prepare a report. Whilst it is frustrating to be constrained by children's law rules, the easiest way to think of the blanket rules is that they are there to protect children who find themselves caught up in child arrangement orders or other court proceedings. Children rarely want the story told. If a child is old enough to have a say, they don’t want their friends gossiping, and they are fiercely protective of their privacy. Speaking about your experience of family court proceedings Before discussing your experience (good or bad) in the family court with third parties, it is essential to consult with your lawyer. Get expert advice and follow it; otherwise, you risk a judge finding you in contempt of court. Alternatively, if you breach confidentiality rules after an interim court hearing, you risk the judge at the final hearing refusing to make the orders you want. One example of this is speaking out after the judge makes findings at a finding of fact hearing. You may be delighted or appalled by the judge’s findings about an incident of domestic violence, but speaking about your experiences and identifying yourself (and, therefore, your child) could massively backfire. [related_posts] Transparency orders and children's law court proceedings A family court judge can be asked to issue a transparency order to permit limited media reporting of a child's law application. These orders are rarely made. Additionally, the information a parent is allowed to disclose is strictly controlled. Recent transparency order A current example of a transparency order application made in children's law proceedings is the 2025 reported case called M v F & Another. In these child arrangement order proceedings, the mother accused the child’s father of rape. The father countered her serious domestic violence accusations with an allegation of parental alienation. A judge initially dismissed the mother’s allegation of abuse, but eventually, the court made a finding that the mother had been raped and stripped the father of parental responsibility for his child. The family court issued a rare transparency order, allowing the mother to speak to the media and permitting the press to report her story. However, the order was tight enough to restrict the mother from personally writing or talking about the case. The mother’s barrister, therefore, asked the court to vary the transparency order, allowing the mother the freedom to speak out under a pseudonym to share her story and highlight her experience of the judicial system. When considering the mother’s request to vary the transparency order, the court had to consider: Section 12 of the Administration of Justice Act 1960 The Family Procedure Rules 2010 The inherent jurisdiction of the High Court Articles 8 and 10 of the European Convention of Human Rights The best interests of the child and the Children Act 1989 When considering the mother’s request to vary the initial transparency order, the court said: ‘The Court wishes to make clear, before embarking on its analysis of the legal arguments, that it is profoundly sympathetic to Ms. M’s position. The Court fully appreciates that the inability to be able to speak openly about how, as a victim of rape and domestic abuse she was dealt with by the family justice system, compounds the trauma she has suffered, and is experienced as a further means of coercion and control. Ms M clearly has an invaluable contribution to make to current debates about domestic abuse, parental alienation and contact with children within the family justice system. ’ The judge granted the mother’s request to vary the transparency order and allowed her to publish information under an alias about the proceedings, thereby preserving the anonymity of the child and, consequently, the parents. The transparency order says: ‘On the question of publication, and pursuant to the Court’s inherent jurisdiction, I therefore conclude: Permission is granted to Ms M to publish media articles about her experiences of the family court system and the domestic abuse she suffered at the hands of the father, using an alias. Mr F’s application is refused. Permission is granted to Ms M to speak at events facilitated by organisations such as Cafcass, women’s right groups and children’s rights groups, using an alias. Mr F’s application is refused.’ The court had to weigh the child’s right to privacy against the potential harm to the child of being known as the child in these child arrangement order proceedings, against the mother’s rights and reasonable request to inform others about her experience with the court system. The judge agreed to relax the terms of the transparency order because: ‘Ultimately, in my judgment, the greatest protection for C’s Article 8 rights is Ms M herself. She has always sought to exercise her parental responsibility in an entirely child-focused way, such that C is safeguarded and protected. Ms M is clear she will not endanger C’s own interests by risking identification. Given that clear commitment to protecting C’s anonymity, Ms M’s interests and those of C are more easily reconciled. In my judgment, Ms M can be trusted to carefully evaluate those events in which she can safely participate and those events where the risks are unmanageable. I do not consider Ms M would participate in any event where there was a risk her own anonymity or that of C would be compromised. With that safeguard in place to mitigate the risks to C, I am satisfied in balancing the competing Article 10 and Article 8 rights, the balance comes down in favour of publication. In short, Ms M can be trusted to exercise her parental responsibility to uphold and protect C’s rights and interests. In such circumstances, a blanket prohibition would be an unnecessary and disproportionate interference with Ms M’s Convention rights.’ Other family law solicitors can now use the court decision to request a transparency order in situations where a parent wishes to discuss the court proceedings while acting in the best interests of their child. Your court experience As family lawyers, we are acutely aware of the traumatic impact that court hearings and judgments can have. If you are believed, it’s understandable that you want to shout it from the rooftops because you want to highlight what you went through. Discussing your experience can give others the incentive to stand firm and say no to shared parenting or to refrain from contact if they don’t think it is in their child’s best interests. Equally, if a parent has tried to stop contact by making up false allegations, it is equally understandable why the other parent would want to tell their story to give other parents hope. Recounting their judicial experience can highlight the need for additional judicial resources to reduce court delays or provide extra training so that family court professionals understand the importance of questioning one parent’s account rather than accepting it at face value. Whatever your court experience, our family lawyers always advise caution when discussing child arrangement orders or other children's law proceedings. It is easy to type and post online and for your story to be picked up by the media, but you must ask yourself: Is this in the best interests of my child, and will I get in trouble because I haven't applied for a transparency order? Talk to our family law experts. Whether you are at the start of your journey to securing a child arrangement order or towards the end of it, our children law solicitors can help you navigate the complex family law rules to help you achieve the child arrangement order you seek and to ensure you understand and follow the rules on what you are allowed to report with or without a transparency order in place.   If you need help with child arrangement order proceedings, phone Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.