Parental alienation is a concept that has gained familiarity through divorce solicitors and child experts writing about the effect of parental alienation on the children of separated parents and on the parent who has been alienated. A recent family court case has suggested the use of the words ‘alienating behaviour‘ rather than labelling one parent as guilty of parental alienation. In this blog, our children law expert Louise Halford looks at the case and looks at how to approach child arrangement order applications involving allegations of alienating behaviour. As a specialist firm of Northwest family law solicitors, our lawyers can advise you on sorting out residence and contact arrangements after a separation or divorce and represent you in a child arrangement order application. For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form. What is alienating behaviour? Alienating behaviour or parental alienation is where one parent turns a child against the other parent without good reason. You may think that there is never a good reason to cause a child to reject a parent but some level of anxiety about a parent-child relationship may be justified where there are, for example, very real fears of domestic violence or a concern that a child will get sucked into the other parent’s lifestyle choices, such as the parent’s drug or alcohol addiction. In other families, a parent may not have created the child’s feelings of aversion towards the other parent. The child’s feelings may be down to the child’s misconception that one parent was entirely to blame for the marriage breakdown and for the sale of a much-loved family home resulting in the child needing to change schools. In classic cases of parental alienation, there is no objective justification for the alienating behaviour. One parent, through no fault of their own, is squeezed out of their child’s life. Some parents decide to fight back and apply for a child arrangement order so they can continue a relationship with their child. That’s what happened in the case of Re C ("parental alienation" instruction of expert) [2023] EWHC 345 (Fam). The judge,  Sir Andrew McFarlane, said "The identification of ‘alienating behaviour’ should be the court’s focus, rather than any quest to determine whether the label parental alienation can be applied." That approach makes perfect sense as the behaviour needs to be the focus of the court investigation rather than the label. [related_posts] The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (the independent body tasked with providing reports to the court in children law proceedings for child arrangement orders, specific issue orders and prohibited steps orders) have issued guidance on the sort of behaviour a child might display if they have been alienated against one parent by the other. Whilst the guidance is helpful, it’s best to not be too focused on blaming the other parent for your child’s response to requests for contact but to examine any other reasons for your child’s reluctance to see you. For example, older children can be heavily influenced by their friends or by their social commitments and they may hate the thought of spending time with either of their ‘uncool’ parents. Alternatively, a child may be anxious about a new school or about school exams but instead, refocus their anxiety on parental contact rather than address the real reasons for how they are feeling. The impact of alienating behaviour Alienating behaviour can have a devastating impact on a child’s relationship with either their mother or father. Once a child has been alienated and turned against a parent it can be extremely hard to change a child’s mindset that one parent is bad and that the other one is good and can do no wrong. A child’s simplistic view of their parents can lead to long-term emotional and psychological damage to the child. Initially, the child may seem happier that they have cut one parent out of their life, thus reducing the other parent’s antipathy to the weekly contact handover. However, in the longer term, the child may experience feelings of guilt or even reject the parent who encouraged them to stop or limit contact with their other parent. As family lawyers, we understand that many parents don’t foresee the consequences of being openly hostile or critical of the other parent. To some parents saying what they think about their ex-partner in the presence of their child is a way of letting off steam after a difficult separation and a way of verbalising their own feelings of hurt and rejection. It can be an immense comfort to one parent when a child takes their side and is supportive. However,  the parent’s feelings of anger can be projected onto the child who in turn then rejects their other parent, thinking that their views are all their own idea but, in reality, they stem from one parent’s alienating behaviour. Any child arrangement order application involving allegations of alienating behaviour needs to be addressed with a measure of sensitivity and caution. Whilst a parent denied contact with their child wants action, and most importantly wants contact with their son or daughter, it’s best to acknowledge how essential it is to move forward at the child’s pace to repair any damage created through one parent’s alienating behaviour. Our children law solicitors can advise you on sorting out residence and contact arrangements after a difficult separation or divorce and represent you in a child arrangement order application. For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.

When is a marriage a marriage? How do Sharia Law and Divorce work together? These are the questions that you may need to ask if you are considering separating from your husband or wife. Under English law, if a marriage is recognised as a legal marriage, a husband or wife can make financial claims against the other spouse’s assets. Whilst they might be able to make limited property claims as a cohabitee the financial claims that a spouse can make are wide sweeping. For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form. The Nikah, Sharia Law and Divorce  Until a court decision a few years ago, if a Nikah ceremony was carried out in the UK the traditional Sharia law Nikah marriage wasn’t recognised in England and Wales as a legally valid marriage unless the couple also underwent a civil ceremony in a registry office. The second civil ceremony was classed as the legal marriage for official purposes. For most couples who celebrated a Nikah the thought that they were not considered legally married despite their traditional marriage ceremony, family celebration, and their recognition as a couple by family and friends, was repugnant. The law isn’t straightforward. If a couple celebrates a Nikah in a country that recognises Sharia law (and therefore the Nikah is a legally valid marriage in the country where the Nikah took place) the Nikah is recognised as a legally valid marriage in England and Wales. With the court ruling, a Nikah that takes place in England may be sufficient for a husband and wife to be classed as married even though they have not participated in a civil ceremony. Why is it important for a marriage to be legally valid in Sharia law and UK divorce law? If you are not legally married under English law then on separation you do not need to start divorce proceedings because under English law your relationship isn’t recognised as a marriage. Under the law, you are treated as if you were a cohabiting couple. That means that you can’t: Apply for spousal maintenance Apply for a share of your partner’s pension Apply for a share of your partner’s house unless you are a joint legal owner or have what is known as a beneficial interest in the property Apply for a share in your partner’s other assets such as shares in a family business if the shares are all held in his or her name As there is such a vast difference in how married and cohabiting couples are treated by the law on separation it is vital that couples know where they stand and whether their marriage is legally recognised or not. Divorce Court ruling on Sharia law divorce and marriage In a high court case, a Mrs Akhtar sought a divorce from her husband, Mr Khan. He opposed the divorce on the basis that they weren’t legally married having participated in a Nikah ceremony in a London restaurant conducted by an Imam with about 150 guests as witnesses to the celebration. The judge ruled that the marriage was void. This decision allowed Mrs Akhtar to bring the financial claims of a spouse, claims that she wouldn’t have been able to pursue if the court had ruled that the Nikah was a non-marriage. Does the legality of marriage ceremonies just affect those participating in Nikah weddings? Many people have been caught out, believing that they are legally married only to find out many years later that their ceremony isn’t a legally recognised marriage, for example, being married at a venue that doesn’t hold a licence to perform weddings and not subsequently participating in a civil ceremony. This can also affect couples who are married at a traditional Jewish ceremony or those participating in a Wicca marriage. [related_posts] Prenuptial agreements, marriage and divorce If a couple are wary of getting married in a legally valid ceremony of marriage because of the potential financial claims that arise from a legally valid marriage then the option of getting married with a prenuptial agreement in place might be the way forward. Prenuptial agreements are designed to stop or limit financial claims on divorce and can be a very sensible step if one or both parties to the marriage want to protect assets such as pre-owned property or shares in the family business. For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form. Contact us for help with divorce and Sharia law.

After a child’s health and happiness, there is nothing more important to parents than their child’s education. Getting your child into the school of your choice can be more challenging when you are separated or divorced from the child’s other parent. For expert advice on children and family law call our team of specialist family lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Parental disputes and schooling issues Children lawyer, Louise Halford, has helped many parents resolve where their child should be schooled, and sometimes just as importantly, who should pay the school fees. The sorts of parental disputes over education and schooling include disagreements on: Whether a child should be state or privately educated and if educated privately who should pay the fees Whether a child should be home educated by one parent Whether a child should attend a school with a religious affiliation The specific school, with issues over school catchment area and parent’s homes and the feasibility of mid-week contact visits if the school choice is some distance away combined with debates over the Ofsted rankings of potential schools Whether a child should board or be a day pupil Whether a child should have a SEND assessment and be mainstream educated or attend a specialist school to address health concerns such as a child being on the autistic spectrum or dyslexic whether a child should move to a new school, for example if a parent’s new partner’s children attend a different local state school or are being privately educated Who decides on the choice of school? Both parents have equal rights and responsibilities for their child if they share parental responsibility for their offspring. Parental Responsibility means parents have an equal say in the choice of school. If parents can’t reach an agreement after discussion or mediation then ultimately the court can decide and make a specific issue order identifying the school that the child should attend. The court decision is based on what the judge thinks is in the child’s best interests taking into account a range of statutory factors. That is why it is important that the judge knows your child’s personality and likes and dislikes as if your child is sporty and not academic that might influence the judge in deciding that a school with a focus on exam results might not be the best environment for them. When presenting an argument for a particular school pastoral care can be as important as a focus on sports or academic achievement. [related_posts] Who pays the school fees? Most parents’ fear on separation is that their child may not be able to go to the planned private school or may have to come out of private education and move into the state system. The Child Maintenance Service can’t order a parent to pay school fees as part of general child support but the court can make a school fees order to make one parent either pay or contribute towards private school fees and ‘extras’, such as uniforms, music lessons, or the annual school ski trip. The court looks at a range of factors when deciding whether or not to make a school fees order, including the affordability of private education. What next? The new school year, the graduation from nursery to primary school or from primary to secondary school may seem a long time away but all of a sudden choice of schooling will become a pressing issue. That is why separated or divorced parents need to start to talk early and do their research on suitable school options to hopefully reach an agreement on what type or specific school is in your child’s best interests. If an agreement can’t be reached then, after mediation, either parent could start court proceedings. The court will try to decide on children law applications as quickly as it can but inevitably court timetables aren’t as quick as parents ideally want. That means that it pays to think and talk early so the judge has time to make a decision on the choice of school or payment of school fees well in advance of the new school year. For expert advice on children and family law call our team of specialist family lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

Every time you stand in a queue at the airport do you tense up, worried about whether you will be challenged by an official over your paperwork, luggage or children? It is a particular concern if your children’s surname is different to your own. For example, if your ex-partner registered the children using her surname or if you reverted to using your maiden name after your divorce. In this article, our family law solicitors look at the issues that can arise when travelling with your children if their surname is different to yours.          For expert family law advice call our team of specialist family lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Why do issues arise when travelling with children whose surnames are different to yours? You may think that an official is just being difficult but border officials, passport control, and airport and ferry staff are all trained to look out for children travelling with adults who do not share the surname of the children they are accompanying. It is a red flag for potential child abduction or child trafficking – although all you want to do is take your children to Spain for a much-earned break. It is easy to get angry when you are questioned about your children, especially when you are already stressed out by airport delays or if your toddler is having a tantrum. When your child looks like the spitting image of you then it is hard to bite back on a cutting reply and easy to get into an argument that can unravel into your family not being able to travel. As family law solicitors working with parents worried about potential child abduction and trying to recover abducted children from abroad, the careful approach taken by some UK and overseas border officials and travel staff is in many ways very welcome. However, family solicitors do share the frustration experienced by some UK families about the lack of consistent international rules on the paperwork needed to travel with a child either as a family, a single parent, a relative or a nanny. The difference in regulations between countries can catch out the unwary parent and ruin a planned trip. It isn’t just single, separated or divorced parents who need to be careful. If you are a grandparent, whose surname is different to that of your grandchild, and you are taking your child abroad on holiday then you may encounter the same issues. [related_posts] A cautionary tale For those who question if travelling with a child is an issue our family law solicitor, Louise Halford, has first-hand experience of the difficulties. She tried to help a dad take his daughter on holiday to South Africa. He had arrived at the airport check-in desk without appreciating that as he was flying to South Africa on his own with his daughter, he would need a legal affidavit as well as extra paperwork. She happened to be at the next check-in desk and offered to help with the legal document and his wife rushed down with extra paperwork to try and make sure that her daughter could go on the planned trip. Sadly, all their efforts didn’t work out as the family only had their daughter’s short-style birth certificate. If an affidavit is needed so a child can go abroad with a parent then there must be enough time for all the paperwork to be obtained before the affidavit is sworn. What paperwork is needed if you are travelling overseas and your children have a different surname? The exact documents you need depend on the country you are travelling to. Whilst you may not be challenged to produce additional documents in the UK you may be asked for additional paperwork when you are trying to enter another country or leave it to return to the UK. As a general rule, to safeguard yourself and in case of officials not taking your word about your relationship with your children, it is best to take birth certificates for yourself and the children, copies of any change of name deed and marriage certificate (for example, if you reverted to your maiden name after your divorce) and evidence that the child’s other parent agrees to the trip. If you couldn’t get the other parent’s written consent, and instead had to apply to the court to obtain a holiday order, then take the order with you. If the court has awarded you a child arrangement order it is sensible to take a copy of that order as well. Do I need the other parent’s consent to take the children out of the UK? If you are not travelling with your child’s other parent, you may need their written consent or a court order to legally take your child abroad. Whether you need the other parent’s written agreement depends on if your child lives with you and if you have a child arrangement order that says you are the parent with care. If so, you don’t need written consent or a holiday court order provided your overseas holiday is for 28 days or less. If you fall in the category of the child arrangement order covering your trip it is sensible to take the order with you. If you aren’t sure if your child arrangement order says your child lives with you ( the wording on court orders can be rather confusing) speak to a family law solicitor about whether you need written consent or a holiday order. If you don’t have a child arrangement order, or the order just sets out the contact arrangements with your child, then you need written agreement from the other parent (or anyone else with parental responsibility) or a holiday court order. From a family law solicitor’s perspective, parents should be prepared to answer questions when travelling overseas with their children, especially when the children have a different surname to you, and should check the: The paperwork you need to take with you and The rules in the country you are travelling to and the documents you may need there For expert family law advice call our team of specialist family lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

When you are a separated or divorced parent it can be hard to reach an agreement over aspects of your child’s parenting. The importance of a child’s education can be a trigger point for family law disputes with each parent holding equally strong views about the schooling and education choices that are best for their child. In this article, children law solicitor Louise Halford helps parents understand their options when there is a family law dispute over schooling. For expert family and children law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. School-related family law disputes Parents can get involved in a range of school-related children and family law disputes including: Whether a child should be privately educated or state educated The choice of private school – with disputes over whether a child should board or be a day pupil or the location of the school or its specialism in academic achievements or sports The decision to home school Entering a child for grammar school exams Whether to request a special educational needs assessment or not The decision to request a child attends a mainstream school or a specialist school Attendance of both parents at school sports days or plays or other events The release of information, such as school reports or attendance records, by the school to the parent who does not have daily care of the child Contact arrangements and collection from or return to school One parent taking the child on holiday during term time Parental disagreement over use of school disciplines, such as school detention, suspension, or exclusion Resolving school-related parent disputes It is best to resolve school-related parent disputes as quickly as possible. Ways to achieve that include: Solicitor negotiations Roundtable meeting Family mediation If you cannot reach an agreement then either you or your ex-husband or wife can apply to the court for the court to decide on the issue in dispute. This is called an application for a specific issue order. Alternatively, you may need to apply for or respond to an application for a prohibited steps order or child arrangement order. During any children law proceedings, you will be encouraged to reach a resolution so you do not have to ask a judge to determine the school-related dispute at a contested final hearing. [related_posts] Court proceedings to determine school-related parental disputes Whatever type of school-related parental dispute a judge is being asked to adjudicate on, the court must look at a range of factors, known as the ‘welfare checklist’ when making a decision. The key point is that the court must make a decision based on what it thinks is in the child’s best interests. For example, you may want your child to be privately educated and you may have selected and reserved a place at the best private prep school with an excellent academic record. Your ex-spouse may believe that your child is too young to board or that your child is not sufficiently academic to thrive in your chosen prep school. You may attribute their objections to selfishness on their part or a desire to thwart your long-held ambitions for your son or daughter. A court will consider your child’s wishes and feelings after considering their age and level of understanding as well as their personality and both parents’ arguments.  The fact that a child does not want to go to a new school does not mean that the court will not make a specific issue order as the court will look at what is in the child’s overall best interests. The likelihood of succeeding in an application for a specific issue order in part depends on the homework you and your family lawyer do in preparation for the court case. For example, if there is a dispute over the choice of school, checking Ofsted reports can be helpful. If there is a dispute over whether home-schooling is in a child’s best interests a detailed statement covering why a parent is so committed to home education, their research on available local resources and support groups, the child’s experiences in previous schools, and how the parent can cover a range of lessons, and ensure the child also enjoys activities with friends of their own age such as drama and sport, can be very persuasive. For expert family and children law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

Many parents who are thinking about a separation or divorce want to make a fresh start overseas with their child. In this article, specialist family law solicitor Louise Halford shares her experience in helping parents apply to move abroad with their children and advising parents on how best to oppose child relocation applications. For expert Divorce and Children Law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Moving overseas with a child after separation or divorce Evolve Family Law has seen an increase in inquiries from parents about moving out of the UK with their children. The inquiries are not just from parents currently based in Cheshire and the North West of England, but from across the UK. The increase in children law inquiries is down to the following trends: The world becoming a smaller place with people meeting and marrying partners from other countries The number of overseas families who came to the UK on work visas and dependant visas and who settle in the UK by securing indefinite leave to remain or British citizenship but, after a separation or divorce, one parent wants to return to their country of origin Emigrating for work as opportunities for working abroad increase International parenting after separation or divorce It is said that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. That is particularly true for any parent who is involved in ‘international parenting’ as a result of one parent moving abroad with the child. Most parents find it hard enough to let their child go off for the weekend with their ex-partner, let alone accept that their child should get on a plane to another country to see their mum or dad. Prior to committing emotionally or financially to an overseas move, many parents don’t fully appreciate that if they are successful in relocating abroad with their child that the family court will often order that the child should spend long chunks of time during holidays with the parent who is not moving abroad and who will be missing their weekend contact. It is often said that there are ‘no winners, only losers’ when one parent moves to another country with their child, whether that be back to a parent’s country of origin or as a result of a new job or relationship. However, with communication and imaginative contact arrangements, even airport handovers, can work. If it is a relocation to Spain then the flight from Manchester or Liverpool airport and the child’s handover may be a lot easier than navigating a motorway trip from Cheshire to Cornwall or Guildford. [related_posts] The law on international child relocation Some parents are well-researched on the law on child relocation but for others, it is a whole new arena. The basic principle is that if a child is habitually resident in the UK the child can’t move abroad with either parent unless the other parent agrees to the move or the family court makes an order granting permission to relocate. The law on child relocation and moving abroad with your child can be hard for a parent to get to grips with. If, for example, both parents originate from the US but currently live in the UK with their children this may mean that their children are classed as habitually resident in the UK. Therefore, although all the family members are American citizens, if one parent wants to return ‘home’ to the US with the children, permission still has to be obtained from an English court.  Without specialist legal advice on child relocation law, many parents don’t realise the implications of booking their flight home. The legal and personal costs of not knowing the law on international parenting can have a devastating impact on a parent and their chances of successfully getting a court order to let them take their child abroad or a child arrangement order. Contact arrangements if a child moves overseas As part of one parent agreeing to give permission, or the court making an order allowing the other parent to relocate, the contact arrangements should be recorded. If a court order to relocate is made the court will normally also make a child arrangements order setting out how often the child should see the other parent. The court order can include written contact, Skype, and face-to-face contact. An agreement should be reached and recorded on specific details such as The agreed travel arrangements Who, if anyone, will accompany the child Who should pay for the costs of flights Extended family and grandparent’s ability to travel, time differences with Skype, the child’s ‘best friend’, and key dates such as Thanksgiving and grandad’s 80th birthday should not be forgotten. ‘Small’ details such as these can impact on whether arrangements work for a child. Compromise is also a key factor as if grandparents can’t make a long-haul flight to Australia for Christmas could both parents split the travel and meet in Dubai? It is often those small points that make all the difference in whether international parenting will work for a family or not. Legal advice on child relocation overseas It is always tough to answer a query on whether a mum or dad will get permission to move abroad. That is not just because the law on this subject is so complex but also down to international parenting being one of the hardest things for any parent to contemplate, and therefore for their family law solicitor, to guide a parent through. Invariably a parent is already emotionally, if not financially, committed to their move abroad before they take the step of getting advice and so it is always worth getting an assessment of your family situation and your options before you commit to a move. For expert Divorce and Children Law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

Emotional abuse is one of those tricky topics. Many people don’t like to admit that they are being emotionally abused because it makes them feel weak or because they don’t know what to do about it. In this blog, our Northwest divorce solicitors look at what you can do about emotional abuse in your marriage.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   What is emotional abuse? It is difficult to define emotional abuse because, unlike physical violence, there is no unmistakable slap mark, bruise or fracture. The effects of emotional abuse are often not obvious, but they are equally damaging as physical abuse. Emotional abuse is all about control through the manipulation of your emotions. It isn’t a one-off experience but is usually a slow and invidious process until it gets to the stage where you haven’t got the strength to leave the relationship. Sometimes it takes something as dramatic as seeing your partner start to abuse your child emotionally, that is the ‘’wake-up call’’ to get help. Emotional abuse isn’t about having rows, shouting at one another, or saying words you regret. We all do that in relationships, especially if we are under pressure because we are worried about work and financial matters. Emotional abuse is best described by example, as it can be subtle. Examples of emotional abuse and controlling behaviour include: Constantly belittling you by telling you that you are a fool, ‘’incapable of doing that’ ’and judging your efforts. Giving directions on what you should wear, how much you should eat, when you should speak, who you should see and if you can go out. If you challenge the behaviour, telling you that you are insane and that no one will believe you if you speak out. Refusing to speak to you or leaving the family home for days if you ask them to change their behaviour. Taking over control of almost every aspect of your life, from money management and access to funds to making all the critical decisions about the children and to making the decisions for you, from who you vote for to your choice of hairstyle. Restricting you so you cannot speak on the phone to friends and family, as your phone and internet activity is monitored, and your movements are tracked. Sometimes those in emotionally abusive relationships also experience physical violence. Many say that physical violence is easier to cope with than the constant emotional abuse or living with a partner who is silent and won’t speak for days because you have committed some minor misdemeanour. Emotional abusers can temper their abuse with gifts and kind words, thus giving you hope that they have changed or that they can’t help their behaviour because they love you so much. This type of abuse is so subtle and powerful that people from all walks of life can find themselves caught up in an abusive relationship and not know how to get out. Family law solicitors say it is important to reflect on your partner’s behaviour and consider if it is emotional abuse. Whilst it is best not to make a rapid decision to separate, it is equally sensible to look at whether what you are experiencing is emotional abuse and to ask yourself if there is any prospect of your partner or spouse recognising their behaviour as abusive and doing something to change their behaviour. Sadly, for many husbands, wives, and partners, emotional abuse can become part of their daily life, so they become inured to it. Often, it is when their partner’s behaviour has turned on the children that the behaviour is seen for what it is: emotional abuse.   You might also be interested in [related_posts]   What help can you get if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Many people think that they can’t ask for help because what they are experiencing isn’t ‘’domestic violence’’ or that ‘’no one will believe me’’ or that ‘’I can’t afford to leave’’. None of those statements is true. An experienced and understanding family law solicitor will talk you through your options. Importantly, they won’t try to control your decisions or tell you what you must do. However, they can guide you and support you, whether you decide to stay with your partner or decide that a separation or divorce is the best option for you and your family.   Many divorce and family law solicitors work with professional counsellors and therapists who can offer: Joint sessions for you and your partner to see if the problems within your relationship can be addressed, or Individual help to an emotional abuser to get them to accept their behaviour for what it is, or Individual help for you to help you recover your self-esteem and confidence after years in an emotionally abusive relationship.   Help from a family law solicitor if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship A family solicitor can help you with: Advice on a temporary separation, including whether you should stay in the family home and financial matters such as spousal maintenance, child support and short-term parenting arrangements and contact (child arrangements order). A long-term separation or divorce with help ranging from a separation agreement to divorce proceedings, child custody and contact and a financial settlement. Court orders to protect you, such as an occupation order so you can stay in the family home or a non-molestation order.   The divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law Whether you need legal help with an emotionally abusive relationship, a separation, divorce, maintenance, an injunction, financial settlement, or a children order, the specialist but friendly and supportive team of family lawyers at Evolve Family Law can help you.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Our latest blogs  

It's hard to put a price on seeing your children. It is also hard for a children law solicitor to put a price on the cost of a child contact Order or child arrangement Order. In this blog expert children law solicitor, Louise Halford, takes a look at the cost of a child contact Order. Evolve Family Law are Cheshire, Manchester and Online Family and Children Law Solicitors. For legal help on family law and children law proceedings call us or complete our online enquiry form. Are child contact Orders worth the cost? Whether a child contact Order is worth the cost depends on who you speak to. Recently, ‘I am a celebrity’ winner and former EastEnders actor, Jo Swash, reportedly said that the money he spent in legal fees to get an Order to see his eldest son was ‘the best he’s ever spent’. We don’t think Jo Swash likes paying lawyers, it was more that he felt that it was only when his children law solicitors secured a child contact Order for him that he got to develop the sort of relationship that he wanted with his eldest son. It is undoubtedly always difficult when a couple split up and one person forms a relationship with someone who already has children or the new couple go on to have children together. The feelings of hurt can make it harder to agree contact arrangements and prompt court proceedings to secure a child arrangement Order so a parent can get to see their child. We don’t know exactly why Jo Swash and his ex-partner ended up in court or why they were not able to agree the child contact arrangements via children law solicitors or in family mediation. What children law solicitor, Louise Halford, does say is that she always tries to discourage children law court proceedings because of the cost ; to your purse and to your emotions. That may sound very odd coming from an experienced children lawyer. However, if you are able to reach a compromise and agree the contact it is normally better for both parents and the child. That is the case however much money you have available to spend on a child arrangement Order application. However, there are some situations where it is best to spend money on a child custody or contact Order, whether that is a child arrangement Order, specific issue Order or prohibited steps Order. For example: One parent is refusing to agree to any contact. A parent is alienating the child against the absent parent so the child is being turned against you. You are concerned that the child is at risk of harm (physical or emotional) by either living with or having contact with the other parent. You are worried that the child may be taken overseas to live against your wishes and that you won't get to find the child if they disappear in a country that isn’t a signatory to the Hague Convention. You may need a prohibited steps Order to prevent child abduction and to protect the child. You were in an abusive relationship and you fear that your former partner is using contact with the child as a means of seeing you and exercising control over you. Their behaviour may make you feel at physical risk or may have such an impact on your emotions that it affects your parenting. One parent is refusing to change the contact arrangements. For example, refusing to let an older child stay overnight with you or go on holiday with you and your new family. There are many other reasons why you as a parent may have no alternative other than apply to the family court for a child arrangement Order to sort out the child custody and contact arrangements but it is best to get independent and impartial children law advice before you make an application to court. The cost of a child contact Order It is difficult for any expert children law solicitor to tell you how much a child contact Order will cost you, however transparent a pricing structure they adopt. That is because in some situations the threat of starting court proceedings is sufficient to get a parent the sort of shared parenting or contact arrangements they want. In other scenarios, a parent can make allegations that the other parent isn’t expecting and firmly disputes. If those allegations go to the heart of whether a child should live with one parent or why a child should have restricted or no contact with the other parent then they need to be investigated by the court. This could involve a series of court hearings including a finding of fact hearing. At a fact finding hearing a family judge will decide if they can make a finding about an allegation. The standard of proof is lower than at a criminal hearing but a family court finding can have significant consequences for the current children law application and any future applications. After any findings have been made at a fact finding hearing the judge will then hold a separate hearing to look at what Orders are in a child’s best interests. For example, a judge might find that domestic violence occurred in the parental relationship but that the child is not at risk of domestic abuse and contact can be managed in a way that means the parents don’t come into direct contact with one another. The costs of a children law custody or contact application can't or should not be measured in purely financial terms. If there is a court hearing with both parents giving evidence it may further polarise the parents or it may create additional stress for an older child who is aware of the court application, possibly because they have been interviewed by a CAFCASS officer appointed by the court to find out the child’s wishes and assess what orders are in the child’s best interests as sometimes what a child wants (or says they want if there is an element of coaching) may not actually be best for the child. An expert children law solicitor can help you look at things from the perspective of a family judge so you have the understanding you need about child custody or contact proceedings  to decide if they are worth it to you or that you have the confidence to reach an agreement in family mediation or during solicitor negotiations. Evolve Family Law are Cheshire, Manchester and Online Family and Children Law Solicitors. For legal help on family law and children law proceedings call us or complete our online enquiry form.