How to Cope With Divorce

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Our North West divorce solicitors can help you cope with your divorce and advise you on the legal issues that come with a separation.

In this article, we look at divorce coping strategies.

Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on your separation.

The challenges faced with a separation or divorce

Divorce not only presents emotional challenges but also financial and practical ones.

They can be hard to deal with when your emotions are all over the place or you are struggling to cope with your child’s or your parents’ reaction to your decision to separate and start divorce proceedings.

Some divorce challenges are:

Coping with the emotions of a separation when your ex-partner announces the relationship is over, having spent months planning their exit and then wondering why you aren’t coping as well as they are.
Children viewing things very rigidly, thinking you are to blame for them not seeing Dad and not realising why staying together as a couple is not tenable.
Worrying about parenting arrangements and whether you will get to see the children.
Concern about how finances will work post-separation, as you jointly agreed that you would be a stay-at-home parent, and your career prospects have suffered.
Feeling brow-beaten about matters such as agreeing to put the family home up for sale when you need time to acclimatise to the news that your spouse wants to end the marriage.

Facing the challenges of divorce

Government statistics show us that you are not alone in having to cope with the traumas involved in separation and divorce. In 2024 alone, 108,657 divorce applications were made, and 105,449 final divorce orders were granted. These figures come from the Family Court Statistics Quarterly: October to December 2024, updated in April 2025.

Strategies to cope with divorce

Coping with divorce involves finding strategies that work for you and your family. We have compiled tips gathered over the 30-plus years that some of our divorce lawyers have been advising separating couples. It isn’t a case of following the list and you will cope – some may not be appropriate for you or your family, and others may need to be tweaked to fit your situation.

Here are the top ten Evolve Family Law strategies to cope with divorce:

Tell people what’s happening; they can’t help unless they know.
Don’t be wary of getting professional or medical help if needed.
Telling your employer that you are getting divorced isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Don’t focus so much on what your children need that there is nothing left in the tank to help you cope.
Talk to a divorce solicitor to understand your rights and options, but don’t feel pressurised into starting divorce proceedings until you are ready to do so.
Get organised so you know what you need to do.
Prioritise the crucial bits, like your safety, rather than attempting to do everything at once.
Take your own counsel and don’t be influenced by what friends and family think you should do.
Reflect on what you and your children need and want rather than rushing into decision-making.
Reality test your post-separation plans.

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Tell people what’s happening

If you split up and your ex leaves the family home, the children may act up, and you may no longer have help from your ex-partner with child care. School may be able to support the children, and friends and family can rally round if you tell people what is happening.

Get medical help

Whether it is a referral for counselling as a family, couple or solo, or a short dose of medication, medical help is not something to avoid as it can help you as a family or as an individual cope with the separation and its aftermath.

Talk to your employer.

An employer may be worried that you are planning to leave because your performance has dipped, but if you explain your change in circumstances, they may be more understanding of the reasons why you are temporarily struggling to concentrate at work or agree to requests for flexible working.

Focus on your needs as well as the needs of your children

Dealing with your child’s emotions or sorting out the practical aspects of your separation can leave you with little or no time to grieve the loss of your relationship and the implications for you. Moving to life as a single parent is a significant life change, even if friends and family are supportive, so you need to factor in some ‘me time’ for yourself.

Consult a divorce solicitor.

Talking to a divorce solicitor in an initial consultation does not commit you to proceeding with divorce proceedings, but it will give you an idea of your rights and obligations as well as your options. For example, even if your name isn’t on the title deeds to the family home, a divorce lawyer is likely to recommend that you stay at the property while they negotiate a financial settlement for you.

Get organised

A family lawyer will explain the paperwork you need to obtain to help them advise you on the type of financial settlement to expect. For example, they will need details of all previous employers and personal pension schemes.

The important bits

The aspects of your separation that require prioritisation will depend on your circumstances. Ideally, you will be able to start no-fault divorce proceedings using our one-lawyer amicable divorce service. However, you may need urgent injunction advice to keep you safe or a prohibited steps order to protect your children from being taken overseas by their other parent.

Take your own counsel

Friends and family can be great at getting you through the traumatic early days of your separation, but remember that your views are important when it comes to matters such as whether you should try to stay in the family home or agree to co-parenting arrangements that broadly suit your needs and those of your children.

Reflect rather than rush

It is possible to have such a thing as a good divorce. Basically, that’s a divorce where you work together to sort out child parenting arrangements and the practical aspects of your separation, such as whether your ex will continue to pay the mortgage if they rent while the property is on the market. Taking a measured approach to negotiations can help you navigate a financial settlement without asking a judge to make a child arrangement order or a contested financial court order.

Reality testing

You may be sure that you want the children to have alternate weekend contact or want to stay in the family home, but it’s best to spend the time to reality test your plans. For example, with limited co-parenting, most of the childcare will fall to you, limiting your work options. Child maintenance rules may not provide the financial support you need if your priority is to stay in the family home rather than downsize. Looking critically at the potential for mortgage rates to rise and outgoings to increase, is staying at the family home a viable option?

Divorce support from a North West divorce lawyer

Coping with divorce can be made easier with the right help and support. That can be provided through a combination of friends and family and professionals such as therapists, your doctor or your divorce solicitor to help you navigate the emotional, practical and legal aspects of your separation and divorce.