Read the latest articles on Family Law from our expert Family Law solicitors here at Evolve Family Law in Manchester & Cheshire.
We put a lot of family law legal information on our website and if you have a single question about your situation, you should find an answer in this blog.
If you need a greater level of help, please contact us and one of our team will call you to make an appointment.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
We all experience periods of uncertainty and fear in our lives. Whether it is fear of committing to a new relationship, worries about whether you should separate or start divorce proceedings, how you will manage financially after your separation or how you will cope with the children spending time with your ex-partner. Over the last fortnight, many of us have realised that there is also an unseen fear or enemy; covid-19.
I say that covid 19 is an unseen enemy but the reality is that it is everywhere. You can’t turn on the television, log onto face book or read a newspaper without reading all about the latest statistics. That in turn can just heighten your anxieties and fears.
For those of you who are going through a separation or divorce and are already anxious about how you will cope after divorce, covid-19 is an additional stressor. Who would have thought that a few short months ago that we used to think that a relationship breakdown or a house move were two of the most stressful life experiences that we had to cope with. Now, it feels like we are living in a different world. One where fear can easily be as damaging as the coronavirus.
How do we overcome fear?
First off, whilst some people may call me an expert, I am a great believer in listening and finding out what works for you in overcoming your fears. Whilst you may not know it we all have the power to manage our fears whether they are about:
Feeling alone because you have ended a relationship
Worried about your job and finances because of covid-19
Concerned about where you will live and how you will manage financially after your divorce
Frightened about letting your children spend time with your ex-partner in case they fall ill when they are not with you
Feelings of not be able to cope with home schooling your children and not being able to cope with life as a separated parent and coronavirus.
In addition to all these fears, many of us are also worrying about our parents or loved ones, especially if they are elderly or have underlying health conditions and are self-isolating or shielding. On a practical note, this may be making life harder for you if you are used to parents or grandparents helping out with child care or just being available to do all the things you don’t normally have the time to do.
Confronting your fears can be one of the hardest things to do. In my work with clients and with my online community I provide lots of information to people who find themselves having to make relationship decisions and to face up to their fears so that they can successfully move on with their lives.
Fear about covid-19 is no different than coping with the fears of separating from a narcissist or a toxic individual. Here are my five top tips for managing your fears, whether they are coronavirus related worries or fears about your separation or divorce:
Embrace your fears
You are not alone. Everyone has fears. Some of us are very good at acknowledging and recognizing them but others of us are not. Give yourself permission to say that you are frightened. Embracing your fears diminishes them; like when you stand up to a bully.
Get help
It is easy to feel totally overwhelmed and isolated during lockdown. You are not alone. There is help. Lots of counsellors (myself included) are offering skype or facetime or phone or online help.
If it is a practical or legal worry that is making you fearful then it is best to get an answer. Family lawyers will be able to offer legal advice during the
lockdown or during your self-isolation through telephone appointments, face time or Skype calls. It may feel as though you are alone but you aren’t.
Distance yourself from the news
Whilst we all need to know what is going on in the world outside of the confines of our own homes, don’t spend too long watching 24 hour news coverage on the television or by avidly reading all there is to know about covid 19.
There is a balance to be struck between what you need to know to keep you and your family healthy and information overload.
If your ex-partner is bombarding you with communications over your separation, divorce or contact with the children then you need to block them out to a manageable level (if you need to stay in touch because of your children) or block them altogether if they are just venting their covid 19 frustrations and fears onto you in texts and messages about your relationship breakdown or divorce as a means of letting off steam.
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Find your routine
Whether you are trying to work from home, schooling the children or coping with being confined indoors for long parts of the day then the one of the answers to fear is routine; whether that is a work or schooling schedule, exercise schedule or eating and sleeping schedule.
That is because whilst you may find that life seems out of control because of the coronavirus or your ex-partner’s behavior, you can gain back some control by doing something as simple as following a daily routine.
Remember that even if you are stuck at home you still need to find time to do something nice for yourself, even if it something as simple as hot bath whilst the children re-watch a video or learning how to paint your nails in the absence of being able to go to a nail salon.
Be kind
You may be feeling pretty miserable if you are feeling isolated because of covid 19 or maybe it is because you are combining self-isolation with a recent separation or your ex-partner just doesn’t understand how worried you are about the children travelling to them for contact. If you can put how you are feeling aside for a few minutes to be kind to someone else I can guarantee that you will feel better.
Being kind doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can be as simple as suggesting a skype bed time story for a separated parent or grandparent or offering to get someone’s food whilst you are doing your own shop or just smiling at someone whilst maintaining your social distance. Sometimes, it really is the little things that help you, your family and neighbours and your community the most.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
Whilst we are all living in unprecedented times and there are no certainties about when we will come out of the government imposed Covid-19 lockdown and know the full economic impact of coronavirus, questions are already being asked about whether the family court can be asked to change a financial court order because of the effect of Covid-19. In this blog we look at if you can ask a court to change your financial court order because of coronavirus.Online family law financial settlement solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to advise existing and new family law clients on all coronavirus related family law questions including financial issues arising from Covid 19. If you need advice on your financial court order or any other aspect of family law call Evolve Family Law on 0345 222 8 222 or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.Jump to:
Can a financial court order be changed?
Covid-19 and changing financial court orders
What is a Barder event?
Is Covid-19 a Barder event?
Can a financial court order be changed?
Many people think that once a financial court order has been made then ‘’that’s it’’ but some aspects of a financial court order can be changed by making a variation application. Examples of when you can apply to vary a financial court order include:
Applying to stop spousal maintenance payments
Applying to reduce or increase the amount of spousal maintenance payments
Applying to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance payments are paid for
Applying to discharge or vary a child support maintence requirement contained in a financial court order such as a child support court order for step-children, a top up child support order or a child support order for a disabled child
Applying to end or vary a school fees order so that you are no longer required to pay school fees or the order is changed to vary the percentage amount of the school fees you are required to pay under the school fees order
Asking the court to capitalise the spousal maintenance payments in the financial court order so instead of ongoing monthly spousal maintenance payment a lump sum is paid as a one off payment
Applying to the court to change the mechanics for the sale of the family home if the financial court order included an order that the family home should be sold. Whilst the court won't normally change how much you should receive from the sale proceeds, the court can give directions about the sale price of the family home or say whether an offer should be accepted or say whether the choice of estate agent should be changed or to order that a family law judge can sign the legal paperwork to sell the family home if one owner refuses to do so.
These are the types of clauses contained in a financial court order that can usually be changed either by agreement with your ex-husband or ex-wife or through making an application to vary specific clauses in the financial court order.Covid-19 and changing financial court orders
Given the financial and economic impact of Covid-19 some people want to make more drastic changes to their financial court order and want to know if they can apply to change:
An order to transfer the family home into the sole name of their ex-husband or ex-wife as their ex-spouse can no longer secure a mortgage to take over the mortgage liability so they want the family home sold instead
An order that the amount of a lump sum payment is reduced to reflect the reduction in the value of the overall family assets because of the drop in the value of investments or in the value of a family business
An order that on the sale of the family home the ex-husband or ex-wife will get a fixed amount from the equity in the family home and their ex-spouse will get the balance of the equity
An order that one ex-spouse retains cash assets and the other retains more illiquid assets (such as a share portfolio or shares in a family business) that are now either difficult to sell or would have to be sold at a significant undervalue to the value given to the asset at the time that the financial court order was made.
There are many other examples of situations where one spouse now thinks that the financial court order, either made by agreement with their ex-spouse or after a contested court hearing, is now very unfair and prejudicial to them.
Court rules say that although you can apply to vary or change some parts of a financial court order (like the payment of spousal maintenance or the mechanics of the sale of the family home) you can't apply to the court to change the capital elements of the financial court order (such as the amount of a lump sum payment or whether assets should be split differently to that ordered by the court) unless you:
Appeal against the financial court order – you can only do this if you can say that the family judge either got the facts or the law wrong. There are time limits in which to appeal against a financial court order
Apply to change the financial court order because of a Barder event (including the capital elements of the financial court order).
What is a Barder event?
A ‘’Barder event’’ is when an unforeseen event invalidates the fundamental assumption on which a financial court order was based. You may therefore think that the family court will treat Covid 19 as a Barder event as none of us, politicians included, realised the significance of the flu like virus in Wuhan when news of the illness was first confirmed by the Chinese authorities on the 31 December 2019.
However for something to be deemed a ‘’Barder event’’ the family court has previously decided that:
The event must have occurred after the making of the financial court order
The event must invalidate the basis, or the fundamental assumption, on which the financial court order was made
The event must have occurred within a short time of the making of the financial court order
The application to change the financial court order has to be made reasonably promptly
Permission to pursue a Barder case won't prejudice a third party who has bought or acquired an asset that is now the subject of the Barder court application.
The key to making a Barder application is to do it quickly. If you leave things to ‘’see how coronavirus pans out’’ then you may leave it too late to apply to court to change the capital elements of your financial court order. As timing of the Barder application is crucial it is best to take expert family law advice as quickly as possible.Is Covid-19 a Barder event?
What amounts to a Barder event is determined by a judge using guidance issued in earlier court of appeal decisions.
In 2008, the court of appeal decided that the global financial crisis and stock market crash was not an unforeseen event because markets fall and rise. Other court cases have said that natural market fluctuations aren’t a Barder event. However, many would argue that a global pandemic, wiping billions off the value of the stock market, was neither natural nor foreseeable back in early December 2019. Whether the impact of Covid 19 on the value of a family business or on an investment portfolio is treated as a Barder event on is yet to be tested but much may depend on the particular personal and financial circumstances of your case and that is why it is best to get expert legal advice.Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are here to answer all your family law questions whether it is a coronavirus related family law question, child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship or financial issues arising from coronavirus. If you need advice on aspect of family law call us on 0345 222 8 222 or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.Latest From Our Divorce Blog:
Coronavirus is making us look at every aspect of our lives, from how we socialise and exercise to how and where we work. With constant talk of hospital admission figures and mortality rates many of you are worried about raising your fears about coronavirus and financial concerns. However, whether you pay or receive either child maintenance or spousal maintenance , payments of maintenance may need to be reviewed and resolved. In this blog we look at child support, spousal maintenance and the impact of coronavirus.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to advise existing and new family law clients on all coronavirus related family law questions from child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship during lockdown or the financial issues arising from Covid 19. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coronavirus and spousal maintenance and child support payments
When you agree to pay or to receive an amount in spousal maintenance or child support it is often assumed that the amount you are expected to pay, or that you will receive, won't change all that much . However, whether it is spousal maintenance or child support, the amount you pay or receive in financial support can be reviewed either upwards or downwards.
Many of you are very worried about coronavirus and your jobs or fear that your income from self-employment will reduce drastically (if not disappear altogether) over the next few months. Whilst the government has assured us all that financial help is at hand, for both the employed and the self-employed, there are reports that people are confused about the eligibility rules for government help and are worried about how they can pay spousal maintenance or child support now.
If you are the person who is receiving the maintenance payment it is equally worrying as many feel that they are in an impossible position, having taken out mortgages and financial commitments, on the basis of promised or ordered spousal maintenance or child support.
Spousal maintenance orders and Covid-19
Spousal maintenance is either paid on a voluntary basis between husband and wife or civil partner or under a spousal maintenance court order.
If you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance under a court order then the first thing that you should look at is the wording of the financial court order and the spousal maintenance clause. If you are in any doubt about the wording or meaning of the spousal maintenance clause then it is best to take legal advice.
There are a number of ways in which spousal maintenance court orders can require the payment of spousal maintenance, such as:
Joint lives spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is payable until the death or the re-marriage of the person receiving the spousal maintenance payments
Time limited spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is paid for a set period of time and then stops on a date specified in the court order. In some cases, the person receiving the spousal maintenance can apply to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for but they have to apply to court to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for prior to the expiry of the order. In other court orders the spousal maintenance is said to be time limited with no option to extend the length of time that it is paid for.
Can spousal maintenance orders be changed?
Spousal maintenance orders can be changed by court order or by agreement. If your financial circumstances have changed because of coronavirus and you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance the government is urging you to try to reach an agreement with your ex-partner over spousal maintenance.
Family law solicitors say that whilst it is important, if possible, to reach an agreement over changes in spousal maintenance payments any agreement should be temporary or a holding agreement until the Covid 19 position is clearer.
Every family situation is different so you may need specialist legal advice on what to do about spousal maintenance payments. Some payments may need to stop and others may need to reduce or increase. Here are two case examples:
A dentist is no longer able to work but because he has an employer who is continuing to pay him then the spousal maintenance can continue at the same rate for the time being. The spousal maintenance might need to reduce or stop if the employer is forced to stop the dentist’s salary or the salary is reduced to the cap set by the government coronavirus income scheme
A National Health Service consultant is not affected financially by Covid 19 but his ex-wife has lost her job in the travel industry. Depending on her circumstances her spousal maintenance may need to increase on a temporary basis until she can get another job. If her spousal maintenance is a time limited order she may need to ask the court to extend the period of the spousal maintenance court order.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement
In these highly unusual times the focus is on working together. That is the message that the government is giving when it comes to sorting out the changes to child care , spousal maintenance or child support that are required because of coronavirus.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement include:
Communicate with your ex either directly, through a trusted friend or your family solicitor. If you don’t tell your ex what is going on and be upfront about how Covid-19 has affected you financially then they will expect the spousal maintenance payments to continue
Provide paperwork – family law solicitors say there is often an element of mistrust between separated spouses and so if you want your ex-spouse to agree to a reduction in spousal maintenance you will need to provide the supporting paperwork to show that you have lost your job or that your hours have been reduced or a bonus scheme scrapped
Reflect on any discussions with your ex and don’t be rushed into making long term decisions. After all your ex-spouse may get a new job or the government scheme may mean that their income isn’t as badly affected as first thought. You should not agree to any major changes in the spousal maintenance order or agree to the cessation of payments and cancellation of the spousal maintenance order without first taking legal advice
Record your agreement – if you are able to reach a spousal maintenance agreement with your ex-spouse then you need to record the agreement in case one of you changes your mind. If there is no clear recorded agreement then your ex could apply to court to enforce the spousal maintenance order and ask for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance. They may not be successful in that court application if there is a clear agreement drawn up by you (or your solicitors) that spousal maintenance is being changed temporarily and the reasons why and when spousal maintenance will be reviewed again, for example, if the payer gets a new job or a government income subsidy
Understand the court options- it is important to know that if your ex-spouse won't agree to a reduction or temporary stopping of spousal maintenance what your legal options are. You could apply to court to vary the spousal maintenance order to reduce or stop the payments. Your ex-spouse could apply to court for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance and to enforce the spousal maintenance order. The court decision would be based on all the circumstances of your case and the ability of the paying person to pay spousal maintenance. If you are upfront with the paperwork relating to the change in income this may make a court application to formally vary the spousal maintenance order unnecessary.
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Can child maintenance be changed?
Covid-19 and the financial fallout and economic downturn will affect child support payments as well as spousal maintenance orders. In most families child support is either paid as a voluntary arrangement between you and your ex-partner or under a child maintenance service assessment. It is rare for there to be a child support court order as the court only has limited jurisdiction to make child support orders.
Again family law solicitors are recommending that parents talk to one another about child maintenance and to see whether the child support needs to be changed because of a change in the payer’s financial circumstances. If the payments are made under a child maintenance service assessment then you may need to ask the agency to carry out a new assessment.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are here to answer all your family law questions whether it is a coronavirus related family law question, child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship or financial issues arising from coronavirus. If you legal help call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
If you are in an abusive relationship then you may think that during the coronavirus outbreak there is no help available and that you’re ‘’on your own’’. Although all this talk of self-isolation and social distancing may make you feel like that, the message from family law solicitors is that ‘’you are not alone’’. There is help available during the coronavirus outbreak if you are in an abusive relationship. In this blog we look at your legal options if you are caught up in an abusive relationship and need help to get out of it during the coronavirus outbreak.
Online domestic violence and family law solicitors
Although law offices may be closed because of Covid-19, Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to support those at risk of domestic violence needing help to leave an abusive relationship during the Covid-19 lockdown. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coping in abusive relationships during the coronavirus outbreak
If your partner is abusive towards you then it is difficult enough to cope when life is ‘’normal’’. For many the fact that partners are now either working from home or not able to work, and so are based at home full time, is particularly hard. There is no escape from home for you to visit friends or family or go off to work.
Tensions can also be increased by your partner’s health or financial anxieties about Covid-19, their lack of ability to go to the pub or to the gym to meet up with their friends and the presence of the children twenty four hours a day at the family home.
The government has said that it wants Covid-19 to bring out ‘’the best in us’’. That is a laudable aim but sadly domestic violence organisations and family law solicitors know that, for some families, domestic abuse may increase because of having to spend so much time with a partner. Alternatively, partners who haven’t previously been abusive may snap and either lash out or become very coercive and controlling.
When you hear that the police are cracking down on people leaving their homes it may make you reluctant to leave or seek help from domestic violence organisations or family law solicitors but, coronavirus or not, if you are in an abusive relationship you should seek help.
Those people who are contacting us about abusive partners are often reluctant to acknowledge the extent of the abuse and prefer to minimise some of the partner’s behaviour, especially if it falls short of physical violence and involves coercive control such as:
Dictating what you can eat
Saying when you can watch the TV and what programmes you can watch
Checking your mobile phone or internet usage
Restricting when or if you can go out for your daily exercise or for essentials like food shopping
Forcing you to have sex
Not allowing you any freedom within your house by insisting on being in the same room as you
Listening into your phone calls to friends and family.
As the restrictions on the movement of people continues in force because of the Covid-19 pandemic the sort of coercive controlling behaviour that you could cope with when one or both of you were out working can become intolerable. However, there is help available.
Help if you are in an abusive relationship
The police, domestic violence organisations, the family courts and online family law solicitors are continuing to offer help to those trapped in an abusive relationship.
If you or your children are at risk of immediate harm then you should call the police. The police understand that the risks of domestic violence are increased during the current crisis. They may be able to arrest your partner. If the situation is so serious that you can't wait for the police to arrive you can leave with your children as the authorities will accept that leaving an abusive relationship is an emergency and that is an exception to the requirement to stay indoors.
In addition to the police there are various domestic violence organisations who are open and available to help and offer support:
The National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
The Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327
The Mix, information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
The Samaritans – 116 123
In addition to police and domestic violence organisation help the family court and domestic violence solicitors are open to help you if you need court protection in the form of an injunction order.
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Injunctions against domestic violence during the Covid-19 outbreak
You may have read that most courts and public offices are closed. Whilst that is correct the family courts are open for remote emergency hearings including applications for:
Non-molestation injunction orders
Occupation orders
Emergency child arrangements orders and other types of children orders to safeguard and protect children.
Therefore, if you are in an abusive relationship, there is help available from the family court. Don’t worry that you may not be able to get to see a family law solicitor. Even prior to the coronavirus outbreak many family law and domestic violence solicitors were used to taking instructions by phone appointment or video conference and used to conducting court hearings remotely.
That isn’t to say that things are a bit of a challenge but if you need help then both the court and family law solicitors are just a phone call away.
If you need protection then a family law injunction order may be your best option. There are two types of family law injunction order:
A non-molestation order – to stop your partner from being physically violent or aggressive or verbally abusive or exerting coercive control over you
An occupation order – to stop your partner from returning to the family home (if he/she has left but is threatening to return to the family home) or to make your partner leave the family home or to restrict him/her to certain parts of the family home.
The court and family law solicitors also recognise that you might need help if you are living with extended family and are being subjected to domestic violence or coercive control or that you may need help with your children and need the security of a children order, such as
A child arrangements order
A specific issue order
A prohibited steps order.
It is often the case that people suffer in silence when they live with an abusive partner or they think that what they are coping with isn’t ‘’bad enough’’ to get help. Since the Covid 19 rules on restriction of movement have come in many have thought that they are trapped in an abusive relationship for the duration of lockdown. Domestic violence organisations, the police, courts and family law solicitors are saying that domestic violence and abusive behaviour isn’t right in any circumstances and that if you need help then call.
Online family law solicitors
The specialist family lawyers at Evolve Family Law can help you if you are in an abusive relationship and you need legal help. Call us or complete our online enquiry form for a video conference or telephone appointment.
Update 24th March 2020:
In UK government guidance published 24 March, it states:
Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents’ homes
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others
Whilst parents may wish or need to adapt contact arrangements, they can, and should still continue for children. These are frightening times for children and maintaining normality will hopefully help quell their fears. Now, more than ever, parents should put aside their differences and co-operate and act in their children’s best interest at all times.
This advice should be read in conjunction with the following Government advice on what to do if someone in your household becomes unwell:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection
Parents want to protect their child and that is particularly true when it comes to the coronavirus. It is hard enough coping with the worries of looking after your children and safeguarding them in normal times but in a pandemic the job of being a parent has just got so much harder. That is the case whether you are living with your partner, separated or divorced. In this blog we look at the question of coronavirus and child contact after a separation or divorce.
Online children law solicitors
Evolve Family Law are based in Cheshire and Manchester but offer a full range of online children law services with appointments available by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help with child custody and contact please contact us.
Stopping Child Contact Because of Coronavirus
We are receiving a high number of enquiries asking us whether child arrangements can continue now the government has restricted our movements. We are getting a real sense that the vast majority of these parents aren’t wanting to stop contact to upset their ex-partner or trying to use Covid-19 as an excuse to stop contact visits that they don’t like, but because they genuinely fear for their children and their families. At the moment the advice from the government agency, CAFCASS, is to continue contact arrangements as normal as CAFCASS thinks it is in the best interests of children to maintain contact so the children keep to a familiar routine, even if they are missing out on going to school.
Whilst some may say that statistically children should be OK even if they get the coronavirus that doesn’t ease parent’s anxiety and fears that children going back and forth between households could increase the risk of spreading infection to a member of your family who is in a high risk group with an underlying health condition and is therefore more vulnerable to Covid-19.
There is also a concern being expressed by parents about what might happen if a child is on a contact visit and the other parent falls ill and the family has to self-isolate or if the country goes into lock down and children can't travel back to you.
One of the issues facing separated or divorced parents is that not everyone is as worried about Covid-19 as some are. That can create feelings of tension and acrimony between parents who are living together with their children, let alone separated or divorced parents where there may already be an element of mistrust or a history of communication problems.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that if you want to stop contact because of the coronavirus and high risk issues then whether you can legally do so will depend on whether there is an existing child arrangements order in place and what it says. If you have an existing child arrangements order and you don’t know if you can stop contact or not then it is best to take legal advice.
Coronavirus and Child Arrangements Orders
If you have a child arrangements order in place that sets out the parenting arrangements for your child then if you stop contact you are likely to be in breach of the court order. Your ex-partner could apply to enforce the child arrangements order and you could apply to vary the child arrangements order.
If you are following government advice to self-isolate because a member of your family is unwell then your ex should not apply to enforce an order and you should not need to apply to vary the child arrangements order because of your self-isolation. However, if it isn’t a self-isolation or lockdown situation, but you want to change or stop contact arrangements because of the coronavirus and any high risk concerns, you may need to look at what your child arrangements order says and your ex –partner may want to apply for a child arrangements order so contact isn’t stopped.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that the use of children court proceedings should always be the ‘last resort’ and it is best to try to negotiate a change in a child arrangements by agreement.
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Sorting out contact during the coronavirus outbreak
It is all very well for children law solicitors to talk about trying to reach an agreement about stopping or changing contact arrangements but many parents say that it is far harder to do that in reality. That is certainly true but sometimes it takes a children law solicitor to cut through the parental history of mistrust and get to the real issues.
In these unprecedented times it is inevitable that parents will want to protect their children and to ‘wrap them up in cotton wool’. What parent wouldn't? However it is important for parents to take a step back and think that the coronavirus pandemic won't be with us for ever and that when the UK comes out of the current crisis you still want to be on speaking terms with your ex-partner or at least be able to communicate with them over the parenting arrangements.
Therefore, if you are contemplating stopping or changing contact Cheshire children law solicitors recommend that you:
Think about the reasons why you want to stop or change contact. Can contact still take place through reducing risks , for example , by you driving the children to contact rather than older children or the other parent using public transport to get to your ex-partner’s house or can you change the contact drop off point
Consider if you can agree consistent rules on what the children can do during their time with the other parent. That way one parent isn’t doing all the home schooling and enforcing a curfew and activity restrictions for older children whilst the other parent carries on as normal
Think about the alternatives to direct contact, such as facetime or Skype or phone. Bed time stories by facetime maybe something small children would love and the offer of such contact might reassure your ex that you aren’t trying to cut them out, but you want they want; happy and healthy children
Take legal advice as sometimes an experienced children law solicitor can help you find resolutions that you had not thought about or help you with the words to help your ex understand why you are so particularly worried about coronavirus and child contact. It can undoubtedly be hard for an ex-partner to hear that you want to stop or reduce contact when they and the children haven’t done ‘anything wrong’ and seeing the children is helping them get through the coronavirus outbreak. However, this is a time when a children law solicitor can help you both focus on what is best for the children, whether that is getting you help with your fears, or helping your ex-partner to understand any particular high risk issues.
Online Children Law Solicitors
Evolve Family Law provide a full range of online children law services with appointments available with specialist children law solicitors by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help call us or contact us online
When most of us see headlines about compensation we think that the newsworthy case must be a civil claim for compensation arising out of a road traffic accident or medical negligence. However, in the news last week was a case on ‘divorce compensation’. In this blog we look at what is meant by divorce compensation.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are in the process of a separation or divorce and want advice on a financial settlement then the family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children proceedings, the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online.Divorce compensation
Divorce compensation is in all the newspapers because of a case involving two solicitors. The couple had been married for about ten years and have two children together. The family wealth amounts to about ten million. The family judge ordered that the husband and wife should each get fifty percent, around five million each.
You may think that £5 million each is a just and fair award as after all the couple had been married for nearly a decade. However, the judge went onto order that the wife should get an extra £400,000 for what was termed by the judge as ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ or divorce compensation.
The judge made the additional £400,000 award because the wife and mother, a Cambridge law graduate, had sacrificed her career as a solicitor to look after the couple’s two children.
The court decision will be of interest to many as it is common for one partner in a relationship to step back from their career to become a house husband or wife or to try to juggle child care and home making with a part time career, thus losing out on job promotions and work bonuses. Often the philosophy is that either a husband or wife has to step back from their career as if they equally share the childcare commitment both careers will suffer.
In some family situations, where one spouse has a lower earnings capacity than the other, the choice may be painfully obvious as to who should take on the role of the main breadwinner. However, in the reported case both husband and wife started out their married life as qualified solicitors and both (rather than one) could have had stellar careers had it not been for the decision to forgo a career to look after the couple’s children.
Can I get divorce compensation?
When a case hits the headlines many people, lawyers included, think that divorce compensation will be the ‘new thing’ and that everyone will be claiming for relationship generated disadvantage. However, the judge in the recent court case, made it clear in his ruling that his decision in the case of the two unnamed lawyers should not open the floodgates to a plethora of relationship generated disadvantage divorce compensation claims. The judge said that relationship generated disadvantage claims should be limited to where there are truly exceptional circumstances.
How do I claim for relationship generated disadvantage?
Compensation for relationship-generated disadvantage can be included as part of your financial claim in divorce financial proceedings. You cannot claim for relationship generated disadvantage if you are in a cohabiting relationship.
The relationship generated disadvantage claim is made as part of your financial settlement claims and assessed at the same time as the judge decides on:
What the family assets are
What your needs and your spouse’s needs are (and if you have children what your children’s needs are)
How your family assets should be divided between you
Whether you should get the family home or if it should be transferred to your spouse as part of the financial settlement or sold and the proceeds divided between you
Whether you or your spouse should receive a share of the other’s pension as part of the financial settlement
Whether a clean break order should be made to prevent further financial claims
Whether spousal maintenance should be paid and, if so, for how long and how much should be paid.
There are a host of other things that a judge has to consider such as whether one spouse should pay towards the other’s legal costs or not.
Any claim for divorce compensation or relationship generated disadvantage will be added to the list of issues for the judge to rule on and to explain why he/she has allowed an additional award for relationship generated disadvantage or ruled it out in their court judgment.
In the case of the two solicitors it was clearly evident that the wife had given up a lucrative career to care for children and that she had a case to say, that with her qualifications, she could have enjoyed an equally stellar career as her husband had it not been for the fact that the arrival of children seriously damaged her ability to work in a demanding career as a solicitor.
You may take the view that with a financial settlement of around five million the wife did not need the extra £400,000 for ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ as the five million would more than meet her reasonable needs. However, the court has said in previous cases where divorce compensation arguments have been raised, that relationship generated disadvantage is relevant even if their future needs have been met generously through the financial settlement. That is because one spouse has given up their ability to generate an income surplus to needs and so in an exceptional case they can ask a judge to rule that their husband or wife should pay an element of ‘divorce compensation’.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are separating or getting divorced and are worried about your financial settlement then whether or not you gave up your career you need expert legal advice on your best financial settlement options.
The family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children law proceedings the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you reach a financial settlement that works for you and your family. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online .
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As a Cheshire children solicitor I get asked the question ‘can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday?’ That is understandable as most parents are anxious when their child goes off for the weekend, let alone a holiday with your ex. In this blog we answer your frequently asked questions about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday.
Can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday?
Whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday will depend on:
Whether there is a child custody order(also known as a residence order or a child arrangements order). If so, does the order say whether your ex can take your child on holiday? If it does, then have circumstances changed so you can apply to court to vary or change the order to stop your ex taking your child on holiday?
Is the holiday in the UK or does your ex plan to take your child abroad? If a foreign holiday is proposed how long is the holiday for and what is the destination?
Are there any child abduction concerns that are making you particularly concerned about the holiday? For example, is your concern that your child is being taken to see extended family outside Europe and you have read and googled that the country they are going to isn’t signed up to the Hague Convention?
Prior to talking to a children solicitor about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday it is best to think about the reasons why you object to the holiday. For some parents the answer is obvious, such as you fear child abduction whereas for others it is just a gut fear or your objection to the holiday may be down to:
The dates your ex wants to take your child on holiday – for example, do the dates clash with your Christmas, Easter or your summer holiday plans?
Who will be accompanying your child on holiday – for example, is your ex going on holiday with his new partner and their children. Are you worried about your child spending time with the new partner or them not getting on with the other children who will be going?
The destination of the holiday, as after all a holiday to an English Caravan Park or to European Beach holiday is very different to a trip to the Far East or middle East to meet extended family or for cultural reasons
Do you have concerns about your ex’s drinking habits and do you worry that if you are not there, your child will be neglected whilst your ex gets drunk
Are you angry that your ex can afford to take your child on an expensive holiday but can't or won't pay child support to you so you can't afford to go on a similar trip?
There are many other reasons why you may object to your ex taking your child on holiday but sometimes it helps to make a list as there may be more than one reason why you feel so strongly about the holiday. Some of those reasons may be practical ones and others may be emotional, for example, your ex is taking his new partner and your child on holiday to the same resort you all used to go to as a family.
I have a court order so can I stop my ex taking my child on holiday?
If a mother or a father has a court order saying that the child lives with them(for example a child arrangements order) then you can:
Stop your child going on holiday unless there is a child arrangements order in place for the other parent that covers holiday contact in the UK or overseas
If the holiday contact in the child arrangements order doesn’t cover travel abroad then your ex won't be able to take your child overseas on holiday unless they get your written agreement or a family court order that says they have court permission to take your child either to a specified foreign country for a holiday or a general order that says they can take the child on a foreign holiday each year.
Every children court order is phrased differently so if you are at all unsure about what your court order says and whether your ex needs your permission or a court order to take your child on holiday then speak to a Cheshire children solicitor.
Can I get a court order to stop my ex taking my child on holiday?
You can apply to court to get an order to stop your ex from taking your child on holiday. It is best to speak to a Cheshire children solicitor about whether you need to apply for an order as it will all depend on whether there are any existing court orders. If there are then it may not be necessary to make an application to court or you may need to apply to vary a court order rather than apply for a new court order.
For example, if your ex wants to take your child on holiday abroad and they don’t have a child arrangements order to say that they are the main carer the onus is on them to apply to court to get permission to take your child on a foreign holiday out of the UK unless you give your written consent to the holiday.
If you think that your ex will just take your child without bothering to apply for a court order then you can make an application to court for a specific issue or prohibited steps order prohibiting the holiday from taking place.
If your ex is your child’s main carer and they have a child arrangements order in place which says the child lives with them, then normally this order allows them to take your child on holiday abroad for up to four weeks. They therefore don’t need your permission to take your child abroad provided the holiday is for less than four weeks. However, if you object to the holiday (for example, because you fear child abduction) then you can apply to court for an order to prohibit the foreign holiday from taking place.
If your objection is to your ex taking your child on holiday in the UK then you can still apply for an order to try and stop the holiday although you would have to have good reason for the objection as generally speaking there is less opposition to a child being taken away on holiday in the UK unless, for example:
The child is young and hasn’t had a lot of contact with the other parent and so would be anxious and fret
The holiday is unsuitable, for example , a golf holiday where you anticipate your child will be cared for by your ex’s new partner rather than spend quality time with a parent
Your ex wants to go away on holiday at the only time that you can take off to go away on holiday or their holiday plans will mean that you don’t get to spend time with your child over Christmas or will stop your child from going to a family wedding or other celebration
Your ex is planning a camping holiday in the Autumn half term and your child is asthmatic or has special health needs.
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Should I object to my child going on holiday?
If a parent wants to object to their child going on holiday most people’s first thoughts are that a child should be able to enjoy a holiday with each of his or her separated parents. Whilst that is true it is also correct that if you have any concerns about your child then it is your job as a parent to protect your child and stand up for what is in their best interests.
Sometimes children don’t know what is best for them as whilst your child may be very excited about a trip to a far flung destination they won't understand your child abduction fears and the reasons behind why you are so worried about the holiday.
A Cheshire children solicitor will normally ask you to look at the reasons why you object to your child going on a holiday in the UK or overseas and to consider whether those reasons are about you or your child. For example, if your real issue is that your ex can afford a holiday but isn’t paying child support your children solicitor can make a child support application for you. If your issue is the destination of the holiday or its length then perhaps some compromise can be made so a holiday can take place but your child is safe.
If you need help with holiday contact or need a holiday contact order then our expert team of specialist children law solicitors at Holmes Chapel and Whitefield can help you. Call us or contact us online.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
You have decided or it may have been decided for you that you no longer want to stay in a relationship that is tormenting you. Leaving a narcissistic relationship is one of the hardest things to do. In my work with clients and with my online community I provide lots of information to people who find themselves with a narcissist or toxic individual. Here is how to get out safely with your wellbeing intact.
When we fall in love it’s natural to attach and form a romantic bond, but once in love with a narcissist it is not easy to leave let alone detach from them.
Why it’s hard to break up with a narcissist
Pathological narcissists or people with narcissistic traits present as charming, interesting and seductive to be around and will treat you with kindness and warmth. They may even love bomb you. This is where the dysfunctional attachment to the narcissist begins. I am not saying that it is wrong that you are being treated with kindness, charm and respect at the beginning. Of course you want to be with them but you become easily dependent on their attention and validation of you.
Once you are hooked onto this they become secure and then they aren’t motivated to be nice to you. Their charm, warmth and respect fades and is replaced or intermixed with varying degrees of criticism, demands, coldness and emotional abuse. You become accommodating and try to win their love and attention back and meanwhile your self-esteem and independence of mind are compromised. You may even become gas lighted and begin to doubt your own decisions and perceptions due to blame and lies. When you question this you become attacked, intimidated and confused by manipulation.
Over time you learn to accept the abuse or even attempt to avoid conflict and become deferential. Because facing the reality is too painful. To leave is the only option as this behavior becomes a cycle of abuse and unfortunately you are too weak and vulnerable to be able to do anything about it. You cannot save them, only yourself. Below are some tips and strategies that may help you to cope and heal after leaving a narcissistic relationship.
Go no contact - limited no contact
Block them! I mean of all your communication avenues. That means phone, email and social media. You need some time to yourself to ‘breathe’ and get your thoughts in order. You are not going to be able to do that if you have constant abuse through secondary sources. The narcissist will try to contact you! You have to cut off this communication, you need some time to get your mind in order.
Now, this may not be as straight forward if there are children involved, so what I suggest here is limited contact. I feel that at the beginning of this process do go no contact but only when you are ready begin with limited contact and it needs to stay like that. So, what does limited contact look like? It will mean that you have to clarify what it is that you are communicating with the narcissist, be specific and stick to only the facts that you want to get across. Take the emotion out of the content that you are talking about, this will give you the advantage. Please know that the narcissist will use your triggers and emotions against you to trip you up and get what they want. As these interactions are about gaining power over you and controlling the conversation, to do that they need to initiate an emotional reaction out of you and will press your buttons. Be wise to this and prepare yourself accordingly.
Join a support group
It is really important at this time that you have support of people that understand and care for you. Having to explain your decisions to people who do not get it, is not good for you to be around them at the moment. You need to surround yourself with people who give you positive validation. Finding a therapist might be a good idea too.
Become more autonomous
To heal and move forward from an abusive relationship it is helpful to build a life outside of the relationship that includes separate friends, hobbies and other interests. When you leave you will need a fulfilling life to supplement or replace the relationship. You will need to surround yourself with positive things that will help you to heal and remind you that there is a life outside of this person and relationship.
Build your self esteem
This is very important, you will need all the strength that you need. It is important to reconnect with yourself and get to know you all over again. In relationships such as these your identity would have been compromised and diminished, therefore reconnecting to your own needs and values is important to build your inner strength. You will need to learn to become more assertive and build boundaries.
Learn how to nurture yourself
This follows on from the last point of reconnecting with yourself. Learning your needs and putting them first. This is really important if you have children as you will be teaching them to value themselves and to build a robust connection to self. This is a life skill and will insulate you from the abuse.
Grieve
Please allow yourself time to grieve the relationship and false future promises that were made to you in the relationship. This will help you to process your emotions and recover from the relationship. I would also urge you to find an experienced Manchester divorce solicitor who has the understanding and experience of dealing with narcissistic personalities. Mediation is not a good option where there is a history of abuse.
As long as you’re under the spell of the narcissist, they have control over you. In order to become empowered you will need to educate yourself. Come out denial and see the reality of what this really is. Information is power. Read up on narcissism and abuse, I have a lot of information on my website. Regardless of your decision, it is important for your own mental health and to redeem your autonomy and self-esteem.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
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guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
A divorce court ruling on a Sharia law marriage has called into question the validity of Sharia law marriages conducted in the UK. You may question why that is important to you as, after all, if you celebrated an Islamic marriage ceremony, witnessed by all your friends and family that is what counts as you are married in the eyes of God.
Whilst our Manchester divorce solicitors would not disagree with the significance of the marriage ceremony to you, in the English family court you may not be legally married. Your status as a husband or wife or as a cohabitee could make the difference between whether you get half the family wealth or nothing if you separate.
The case of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhtar
The legal status of Islamic marriage in the UK is in the news headlines again because of the long running case of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhtar. In the high court Mrs Akhtar sought a divorce from her husband, Mr Khan. He opposed the divorce petition on the basis that they weren’t legally married. Although you would have thought it obvious that they were married because the couple had participated in a Nikah ceremony in a London restaurant conducted by an Imam with about 150 guests, Mr Khan said the marriage wasn’t legal as whilst it might be a legal marriage under Sharia law it did not meet the requirements of English marriage law.
The first judge ruled that the marriage was a marriage but classed it as a void marriage. This decision allowed Mrs Akhtar to start financial proceedings as the wife of Mr Khan, something that she could not have done if the high court had ruled that the couple were not legally married. Although the court ruled that the marriage was still a marriage (even though it was void) back in 2018 it has taken until February 2020 for the court of appeal to hear the case and conclude that the couple were not legally married under English law.
Interestingly the appeal wasn’t brought by Mr Khan but by the Attorney General who is joined as a party to court proceedings where the validity of a marriage is called into question. The court of appeal ruling is making Manchester divorce solicitors ask where the decision leaves Mr Khan, Mrs Akhtar and their four children and, just as importantly all those other husband and wife's who have celebrated a Nikah marriage ceremony recognised in Sharia and Islamic law but not under UK marriage law.
Is an Islamic marriage valid in the UK?
The court of appeal held that the marriage of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhter was invalid (rather than void) and therefore the Islamic marriage isn’t a legally recognised marriage, notwithstanding the 150 guests who attended to witness the marriage ceremony.
The court of appeal ruled that the Sharia law wedding wasn’t a valid marriage because the ceremony took place at a venue that isn’t registered as a wedding venue and therefore no registrar was therefore present to conduct the ceremony. Back in 2018, the high court took a different approach and ruled there was a valid marriage recognised in both Sharia law and under English case law because although the couple hadn’t complied with English marriage law requirements they both held themselves out as a married couple. The court of appeal said that this wasn’t enough as they both knew that they needed to participate in a registered civil marriage ceremony to comply with English marriage law.
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Does it matter if your Islamic marriage isn’t recognised in the UK?
You may question whether it matters if your Islamic marriage isn’t recognised in the UK family law as a valid marriage because, from your perspective, it is your marriage under Sharia law that is the important ceremony to you and your family. However, if you separate and you try to start divorce proceedings you may find yourself in the same position as Mrs Akhtar; told that there is no need for English divorce proceedings because you are not legally married under English law. That means, that for the purposes of your financial settlement, in English family law you will be treated as a cohabitee or unmarried partner.
If your marriage is legally recognised then within divorce and financial proceedings a husband or wife can bring financial claims for a share of:
The family home
Any other property you own – this property includes houses or commercial property owned in your joint names or in your sole name
Your business – your spouse does not need to hold shares in your company or to have worked in the business to be able to make a financial claim against business assets
Your pension – your spouse can claim a share in your pension even if your pension was set up prior to your marriage
Your savings and investments – your husband or wife can claim a share of your savings and investments even if they are owned in your sole name
Your income – a claim can be made for the payment of ongoing spousal maintenance.
By contrast, if you are an unmarried partner or cohabitee you won't be able to claim:
A share of your partner’s pension
Spousal maintenance
Any other assets unless you can prove that you are an owner of that property or that you were promised a share in the property.
If you have children with your partner you can try to claim housing provision and child support for your children but Manchester divorce solicitors say it is a lot harder to bring a financial claim if you are a cohabitee rather than a husband or wife whose legal status in recognised in English law.
What should I do if I have an Islamic marriage?
If you have an Islamic marriage and you are concerned that your marriage won’t be legally recognised in English law it is best to take legal advice from a Manchester divorce solicitor. A discussion about your legal relationship status does not commit you to making any decisions and is completely confidential.
Islamic marriages and prenuptial agreements
If your husband or wife does not want to participate in a legally recognised marriage ceremony because they appreciate the extent of the financial claims that can be made by a husband or wife on separation (in contrast to an unmarried partner) then one option may be to look at signing a prenuptial agreement to record a fair financial settlement should you separate at a later date. It is vital that you take expert legal advice before committing to sign a prenuptial agreement.
If you are concerned about the status of your Islamic marriage then whether or not you are contemplating a separation or starting civil divorce proceedings you should take legal advice on your situation and options. The specialist divorce law team at Manchester divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law in Whitefield can help you.
Call our Whitefield divorce solicitors or complete our online enquiry form.
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