Guidance on Family Law from our expert family law solicitors here at Evolve Family Law in Manchester & Cheshire.
We put a lot of family law legal information on our website and if you have a single question about your situation, you should find an answer in this comprehensive collection of advice & guidance on all areas of family law.
If you need a greater level of help, please contact us and one of our team will call you to make an appointment.
It is all very well asking the question ‘’Do I have parental responsibility for my child?’’ but it is equally important to understand what parental responsibility means and what you can and can't do with it. In this blog we look at what parental responsibility is, who does and doesn’t have parental responsibility, what you need to do if you want parental responsibility and we answer frequently asked questions on the topic of parental responsibility.
What does parental responsibility mean?
Parental responsibility is a legal concept. That means you can be a responsible parent and not have parental responsibility for your child.
The definition of the legal concept of parental responsibility is contained in Section 3(1) of the Children Act 1989. The Act defines parental responsibility:
“The rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property”.
In practical terms, parental responsibility gives a parent the responsibility for making significant decisions in a child’s life.
Examples of the exercise of parental responsibility
Parents exercise parental responsibility for their children all the time, without even thinking about it. However there are some significant decisions involving the welfare of a child that parents can struggle to agree on. For example:
The name of the child
If the child should follow a religious belief and, if so, if the child should be baptised or circumcised
If the child should have contact with family members you are estranged from, for example, grandparents or an aunt
If the child should be immunised or vaccinated
If the child should go on overseas school trips
If the child should follow a strict diet such as gluten free, vegan ,vegetarian or sugar free diet
If the child should be home educated or go to a local state school or be placed in private education
The type of schooling or extra tuition that best meets a child’s needs if the child is gifted or has special educational needs.
There are many other examples of parental responsibility decisions. Some, whilst relatively insignificant, may be of immense importance to you, such as the length of your child’s hair or at what age your child is allowed to have an ear piercing or have their own mobile phone.
What happens if you can't agree on parenting decisions and parental responsibility?
If two parents have parental responsibility and can't agree on how to exercise parental responsibility then either parent can apply to court for a specific issue order but courts recommend that:
Parents try to discuss parenting and reach a compromise that they can both accept
Parents try family mediation if they can't reach an agreement to see if a neutral family mediator can help them reach an agreement
Court proceedings are used as a last resort.
What to do next?
If you are worried about your child because you think that your former partner’s alcohol or substance use is affecting their relationship and contact is having an adverse effect on your child then before you stop or change contact it is best to take legal advice from a children law solicitor and professional advice. Speaking to someone else can help you come to a balanced view on whether an application for a child arrangements order is in your child’s best interests and your alternative options.
If you are a parent who has had allegations of drug or alcohol abuse made against you then the best advice is to take legal advice. That is because the first thing many parents do is deny there is a problem. Sometimes there isn’t a problem. However, if there is an issue with alcohol consumption, then denying that the problem exists makes it more likely that the court will make a child arrangements order that you are unhappy with whereas that outcome can potentially be avoided through cooperation and representation.
How does an unmarried father get parental responsibility for his child?
An unmarried father can get parental responsibility in one of three ways:
By agreement with the child’s mother or
Jointly registering the birth and being named on the birth certificate or
Obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court.
Can I prepare a parental responsibility agreement?
To secure parental responsibility for your child you have to sign a formal parental responsibility agreement document in a prescribed form. The form has to be witnessed. If you don’t use the correct forms or if you don’t get the agreement witnessed in accordance with the rules then the agreement won't be effective in giving you parental responsibility.
Does a father lose parental responsibility for a child if he gets divorced?
A father doesn’t lose parental responsibility for his child if he separates or gets divorced from the child’s mother.
A father can only lose parental responsibility by court order once he has obtained it. It is rare for a court to order that a father should lose his parental responsibility.
Can a father have contact with a child without having parental responsibility?
A father can have contact with his child if he is separated from the child’s mother without first having to obtain parental responsibility for the child. If the mother won't agree to a father having parental responsibility and contact the father can make an application to court for a parental responsibility order and a child arrangements order.
A child arrangements order sets out where a child lives and the contact arrangements. The court will make orders that it thinks are in the child’s best interests.
Does a father have to pay child support if he is not named on the birth certificate and doesn’t have parental responsibility?
A parent’s legal obligation to pay child support for their child is based on their biological relationship. Therefore a biological father has to pay child support if he is assessed as liable to do so by the Child Maintenance Service, even if he is not named on the birth certificate, doesn’t have parental responsibility, and doesn’t see the child.
In situations where paternity is disputed the Child Maintenance Service can ask for DNA testing to be undertaken and the court can order relationship testing.
Does a mother with automatic parental responsibility for a child have more authority and rights than an unmarried father who secures parental responsibility?
Sometimes being a parent can feel a bit competitive; whether it is you that your child cries for when they have fallen or you that they ask to read them a bed time story. When it comes to parental responsibility many unmarried fathers assume that their parental responsibility isn’t ‘’as good as a mother’s parental responsibility’’ because there parental responsibility was acquired through:
Being named on the birth certificate or
Parental responsibility agreement or
Parental responsibility court order.
An assumption is therefore made by one or both parents that the father’s rights and responsibilities are somehow less important than the mother’s parental responsibility and that:
A mother has more rights than a father
A mother will always get custody if there is a dispute
A mother has the responsibility to sort out child care if neither parent is available to look after the child
If you can't agree on an important decision in your child’s life the mother’s parental responsibility takes precedence giving her the power to make the decision.
None of those assumptions are correct. If you share parental responsibility with another person you have equal rights and responsibilities for the child. The child’s mother does not have the casting vote or the ability to make all the decisions. If you can't reach agreement about what is in your child’s best interests then the court can make a specific issue order. The court will make a specific issue order decision based on what the judge thinks is in a child’s best interests.
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Will the court always make a parental responsibility order?
A father can apply for a parental responsibility order as a separate stand-alone application or at the same time as applying for a child arrangements order (an order sorting out custody or contact).
The court won't automatically make a parental responsibility order but the test or threshold to secure a parental responsibility order is fairly low so in most cases the court will grant parental responsibility.
When deciding whether to make a parental responsibility order the court considers:
The degree of commitment shown by the father
The degree of attachment between father and child
The father’s reasons for applying for a parental responsibility order.
If I have parental responsibility can I take my child abroad on holiday?
If you are a parent with parental responsibility for your child you can't take your child abroad on holiday unless:
You have the agreement of everyone else with parental responsibility for your child or
You have a child arrangements order and you are named as the main carer in the child arrangements order. If you have this type of child arrangements order then you can take your child overseas for up to four weeks without needing the other parent’s agreement or a court order
You have an order from the court giving you permission to go on the specific holiday or a general order saying that you can take your child overseas on a set number of times each year.
If you are not sure whether the wording of your child arrangements order gives you permission to take your child overseas on holiday it is best to take legal advice before booking the holiday.
Can my child’s surname be changed if I have parental responsibility for my child?
If you have parental responsibility for your child then your child’s surname should not be changed without your written agreement or a court order.
Is a court application for parental responsibility worth it?
Most children law solicitors would encourage you to secure parental responsibility by agreement with the child’s mother. If a mother takes legal advice the likelihood is that she will be advised that it is probable that the court will make a parental responsibility order. She may therefore agree to your acquiring parental responsibility by agreement and without making a court application.
If a mother won't agree to you having parental responsibility for your child then you may think that you have no option but to make an application for a parental responsibility order because you think that until you secure parental responsibility the child’s mother won't accept that you have any say in the important decisions affecting your child. However, if you have separated amicably and you are co-parenting your child, you make think that parental responsibility won't really add anything for you or your child. It is always best to have parental responsibility and, in those circumstances, you should be able to obtain parental responsibility by agreement through completing the prescribed form for parental responsibility.
Parental Responsibility Solicitors
For legal assistance with parental responsibility, child custody or contact or applying for a parental responsibility order, child arrangements order, or specific issue order contact the specialist Cheshire and Manchester children law solicitors at Evolve Family Law. Call us or complete our online enquiry form.
Whilst the world is still in the grips of a global pandemic and with the financial aftermath of coronavirus only now starting to be fully appreciated it is a challenging time to reach a financial settlement. In this blog we look at valuing assets in divorce proceedings and the impact of coronavirus on reaching a financial settlement.
Assets in divorce proceedings
Prior to looking at the topic of valuing assets, most divorce solicitors are first of all keen to ensure that all the assets that a husband or wife own in their sole name or jointly with their spouse or a third party are listed and disclosed. Supporting paperwork must be provided.
If a husband or wife starts financial settlement court proceedings the court will order them both to complete a document referred to as a ‘’Form E’’. If you are trying to negotiate a financial settlement, without starting financial court proceedings, it can still be useful to complete a Form E. Alternatively your divorce solicitor may prepare an asset schedule and provide that to your husband or wife's solicitor together with all the relevant documents relating to the assets in the schedule.
Divorce solicitors say that however you provide information about your assets it is essential that you provide full and frank financial disclosure. If you don’t then the likelihood is that any financial settlement negotiations will break down. If your husband or wife finds out about an undisclosed asset after a financial court order has been made your ex-spouse could apply to set aside the court order. They could ask the court to order that you pay their costs and ask that your non-disclosure is reflected in the size of any new financial court award.
Valuing assets in divorce proceedings
In such turbulent financial times you may question how you can value assets given the uncertainty about the housing market and recent falls in the stock market with experts questioning whether listed stock has further to fall. Equally, if you own a family business, for example, a hairdressers or restaurant, you may question what value your business has at this moment in time.
Divorce solicitors say that when it comes to valuing assets if a couple can't agree on what an asset is worth then they should ideally joint instruct an expert in the relevant field to carry out a valuation, such as:
A surveyor for property such as the family home or a buy to let portfolio or commercial property owned as part of a family business or held within a pension structure
An accountant to value non-listed shares or the value of a family business
A pension actuary to value a pension.
All valuers, whether they are a surveyor or an actuary, will tell you that valuing an asset is more of an art than a science and that valuations can fluctuate.
In the current pandemic with worries about job security and the impact of that on your mortgage capacity it can make negotiating a financial settlement a worrying time.
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Whilst there are clearly many uncertainties and challenges ahead of us a specialist divorce solicitor will be able to guide you on:
The timing of obtaining valuations of assets and if historical valuations should be updated
The importance of taking financial advice and checking things such as mortgage capacity, size of deposit needed for a house purchase or any revised pension projections for a private pension scheme
Whether it is best to share risk by dividing each type of asset rather than, for example, one of you keeping all the cash savings and the other getting the equity in the family home or one of you getting the family business and the other keeping the pension and the family home
Whether you should agree to a clean break financial court order as that type of court order prevents future financial claims for spousal maintenance by a spouse including if, for example, you can't get a job or you lose your job
If you should agree to capitalise any future spousal maintenance payments by giving your spouse a cash sum instead of ongoing monthly spousal maintenance payments.
Next steps
Whether you are at the start of your separation or contemplating starting financial proceedings the important thing is to take expert legal advice from a divorce solicitor who has the experience to guide you on how best to achieve a fair and reasonable settlement. That way you can move on with your life, notwithstanding the changes brought about by Covid-19.
Online Divorce and Financial Settlement Solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors offer face to face and online appointments to negotiate financial settlements and provide representation in divorce and financial proceedings. If you need advice on any aspect of family law call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a meeting, video conference or telephone appointment.
As specialist children law solicitors we are asked if the family court will order that a husband or wife or an ex-partner cannot have contact with their child because of parental alcohol addiction. There isn’t a yes or no answer as in every case the court will look at what is in the best interests of the child. In this blog we look at the topic of alcohol addiction in children law proceedings.
Can alcoholism stop child contact?
Children solicitors will tell you that it is too broad a question to ask ‘’can alcoholism stop child contact?’’ as so much depends on:
Whether the alcoholism has an effect on the parent’s behaviour towards the child or the other parent
The age of the child
The effect (short and long term) of not having an ongoing relationship with a parent
The measures that could be put in place to make contact safe and rewarding for the child
The help available for the child and parents.
When a children law solicitor is asked about alcoholism and child contact they will normally want to know how one parent’s alcohol use affects their daily life and their behaviour towards their child. That is because there are many people with ‘’functioning alcoholism’’ who are able to work and enjoy relationships whereas sadly that isn’t the case for others.
That is why it is so important that children law solicitors take the time to discuss your particular family circumstances and drill down to what it is about the alcohol usage that makes you want to stop child contact.
A case study of how alcohol affects child contact
One mother whose ex-husband was a highly successful business owner and functioning alcoholic wanted to stop contact between her two teenage sons and their father because of his alcoholism.
What was actually her ‘’drilled down ‘’ cause of concern was her ex-husband insisting that he was ok to drive the children and her fears for their safety. From the mother’s perspective, it was good that her children continued to see their dad so that they knew he was all right and that they didn’t worry about him or hold him on a pedestal because she had stopped contact.
In this mother’s case the best thing to do was to listen to her and help her find the right solution for her children. She knew, from past experience, that as her husband didn’t want to deal with his functioning alcoholism, no amount of requests from her would make him see a counsellor or get help. Likewise, after discussion and legal advice, she knew that one of her teenage sons would blame her if contact stopped whereas the other one found contact embarrassing and wasn’t bothered about going.
Some children law solicitors see an application for a child arrangements order or a prohibited steps order to stop contact as the answer to all problems over contact. It isn’t necessarily the solution. In the mother’s case, after she had taken legal advice on her options, she had the experience to realise that if she applied for a child arrangements order the father would deny his alcoholism and refuse to take part in any testing ordered by the court or psychological assessment or any recommended follow up treatment or support.
Whilst the court has the power to order tests and assessments in child arrangements order applications, the court cannot make a parent undergo alcohol or substance testing or assessment if the parent refuses to do so. All the court can do is draw inferences from a parent’s unwillingness to participate in testing or assessment.
The court’s ability to make inferences is often a powerful motivator in a parent’s willingness to participate in testing and assessment. That is because of the parent’s belief that the testing results should be better for them than inferences based on a lack of cooperation after the other parent has raised sufficient concerns for the court to be willing to sanction testing or assessment.
When it comes to alcoholism and child contact, an application for a child arrangements order can bring about a lot of change as the court arena can make parents realise just how seriously the other parent views their issue with alcohol. In other families compromise can be the better option for the family.
So you may wonder how the mother of the two teenage boys resolved her dilemma over her ex-husband’s alcoholism and her fears for her teenage sons travelling in a car driven by their father. She looked at what was best for her sons and concluded that maintaining a relationship with their father was the best option for them. Whilst he was unreliable as a father and let the children down he was nonetheless their father and the youngest would blame her, rather than his father’s alcoholism, for the lack of contact.
The mother set about problem solving and instead of the boys going to visit their dad at his home, where there was alcohol and films she didn’t approve of, contact became centred on football matches and she asked her brother in law and the children’s uncle to help provide support and a safe means of transport.
Did the solution work? It certainly wasn’t without its difficulties and it put the teenagers in a position of reporting if there were issues. This was not something the mother felt very comfortable about but she concluded, on balance, that it was the right thing to do even if on occasion she was used as a taxi service and the boys were let down when their father didn’t show up.
Would the child contact solutions have been different for another parent? As children law solicitors we would say yes. For example:
If the parent’s alcoholism was more recent in nature and the parent was more likely to agree to testing and assessment as part of a child arrangements order application
The parent’s behaviour, fuelled by their alcoholism, made it dangerous for the other parent to come into contact with them and meant that they needed injunction orders to protect themselves
The child wasn’t old enough to help safeguard themselves. In that scenario contact fully supported by grandparents or taking place within a contact centre may be the best option for the child
The child was of an age to say that they didn’t want to see their parent and the other parent fears that forcing them to have contact isn’t actually best for the child. Sometimes family counselling is one way forward if a child and parent will agree to this so an older child can explain , in a safe and neutral setting, how they feel and how not turning up for pre-arranged contact or any other effects of the alcohol addiction makes the child feel.
Recreational use, binge drinking, dependence or alcohol addiction
Children law solicitors will tell you that one of the biggest issues in trying to resolve parenting and childcare arrangements when there are alcohol or substance use concerns is the parent’s differing perception of the issue.
Many dedicated and caring parents say that they are ‘’recreational users’’ of substances or over imbibe and binge drink at the weekends. Should that affect their contact with their child? It all depends on the parenting arrangement as, for example. alternate weekend contact and midweek contact may meet the child’s needs and not affect the parent’s lifestyle choices. It can sometimes be hard for the other parent to accept that such contact could be in a child’s best interests when they have lived full time with the parent’s binge drinking behaviour.
It is equally hard when one parent believes that the other is alcohol dependent and the other disputes it. Sometimes practical, non-judgemental examples of how a child feels can help make contact work, for example, saying how the child feels if the parent doesn’t turn up for contact or arrives late.
If you think that your ex-partner is alcohol dependent or their substance misuse is affecting the quality of their contact then you can ask the court to:
Make a child arrangements order to restrict contact, for example, so contact takes place at a contact centre or is supervised by a family member
Make a child arrangements order subject to conditions so that the parent must comply with conditions such as not drinking for twenty four hours before a contact visit
Stop direct contact between parent and child. Indirect contact such as letters, cards, presents, phone calls and Skype may all be appropriate depending on their content and whether the child gets very distressed if the parent makes promises about Skype calls but then forgets.
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Ideally, talk of starting an application for a child arrangements order can make a parent realise just how worried the other parent is and even if they don’t see their drinking as a problem they will try to modify their behaviour and drinking around contact times.
What to do next?
If you are worried about your child because you think that your former partner’s alcohol or substance use is affecting their relationship and contact is having an adverse effect on your child then before you stop or change contact it is best to take legal advice from a children law solicitor and professional advice. Speaking to someone else can help you come to a balanced view on whether an application for a child arrangements order is in your child’s best interests and your alternative options.
If you are a parent who has had allegations of drug or alcohol abuse made against you then the best advice is to take legal advice. That is because the first thing many parents do is deny there is a problem. Sometimes there isn’t a problem. However, if there is an issue with alcohol consumption, then denying that the problem exists makes it more likely that the court will make a child arrangements order that you are unhappy with whereas that outcome can potentially be avoided through cooperation and representation.
Cheshire Children Law Solicitors
For legal help with children law and child care arrangements where there are allegations of alcohol misuse please call us or contact us online.
Lawyers refer to ‘the probate’ of a loved one and often make assumptions that everyone knows what probate is. That certainly isn’t the case but sometimes, after the death of a loved one or relative, you are too upset or embarrassed to ask questions about probate and what it involves. In this blog we look at what probate is, what it involves and answer your questions about probate.
What is Probate?
Probate is the name of the legal process that may have to be undertaken when a person passes away to legally enable the deceased person’s assets , property and belongings to be sold or transferred in accordance with the Will or, if the deceased left no Will, under intestacy rules.
The word ‘probate’ is a legal term, like conveyancing for the legal work connected with a house sale or purchase. It is just a historic word for sorting out the legal paperwork after the death of the deceased.
Do you always need to get probate?
Not every estate needs to go through probate. It is a blessing if an estate does not have to go through probate as it saves the relatives and beneficiaries time and money if the estate of the deceased does not have to go through probate.
If you are uncertain if an estate will need to go to probate it is best to ask a Cheshire Probate solicitor who will be able, with a bit of information about the size and contents of the estate, to be able to tell you if probate is needed and, if so, how long it is likely to take and cost in legal fees.
Does an estate have to go through probate if there is a Will?
An estate doesn’t necessarily have to go through probate if there is a Will. That is because probate doesn’t depend on whether the deceased left a Will or died without a Will (intestate) but on the size of the estate and the type of assets it contains. That is why it is best to get specialist help so the estate doesn’t spend unnecessary money on probate if it isn’t needed.
What happens during probate?
If you are told that your loved one or your relative’s estate needs to go through probate then it is difficult to understand what takes the time unless you know what probate involves.
Probate is the technical term for the legal process of sorting out the property, money, possessions (called the estate) and the financial affairs of the person who has died.
If the deceased died without leaving a Will then ‘letters of administration’ are needed before the estate can be disposed of in accordance with intestacy rules.
If the deceased died leaving a valid Will then a ‘ grant of probate ‘ is needed before the estate can be distributed to the beneficiaries in accordance with the terms of the Will.
Once the letters of administration or grant of probate is obtained then the next of kin or the executors of the Will have the legal authority to sell or transfer the assets in the estate, either according to intestacy rules or the provisions in the Will.
Step by step guide to probate
If you are the next of kin or the executor of a Will it can be frustrating to think that ‘nothing is happening’ but probate takes time because it involves:
Identifying the deceased’s assets and liabilities. How difficult this is depends on the paperwork left by the deceased and the nature of their estate and any liabilities. This is the first step to see if probate is needed and to determine the value of their Estate
Checking if the deceased died intestate or with a valid Will and identifying the relevant next of kin under the intestacy rules or beneficiaries under the Will
Calculating the value of the estate and seeing whether any inheritance tax is payable to HMRC. A tax return has to be completed
Applying to the probate registry for the letters of administration or grant of probate
Once the documents are provided by the probate registry paying off any debts and liabilities from cash left by the deceased or selling assets to pay any debts that the deceased had at the time of his or her death and, where necessary, paying any inheritance tax payable on the estate to HMRC
Preparing estate accounts to record the assets in the estate (including cash movements from the date of death of the deceased) to show what assets have been sold and what liabilities and debts paid. These accounts are approved by either the executors of the Will or, in the case of an intestacy, by the deceased’s next of kin
Checking to make sure that there are no challenges to the Will or claims against the estate and , if not, arranging for the balance of the estate to be distributed to the next of kin entitled to the estate under intestacy rules or the beneficiaries under the Will. This can involve the sale or transfer of the family home or an investment portfolio. If the estate is large or complex then sometimes interim distributions are made until the estate can finally be sorted out and any final dispositions made to the next of kin or beneficiaries.
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Do you need a probate solicitor to get probate?
You don’t have to use a probate solicitor to secure probate. The choice is yours. However, the size and the complexity of the estate might make it best to instruct a probate solicitor. For example, if there is likely to be inheritance tax payable or capital gains tax. Other scenarios that would justify using a probate solicitor to secure probate for the estate include:
The next of kin in an intestacy or the executors of a Will don’t get on very well with one another or there are ‘trust issues’
One of the next of kin or the beneficiaries is very keen for the estate to be distributed very quickly and you don’t have the time to sort out the estate as quickly as they would wish
There is the potential for the Will to be challenged, either by someone saying that the Will isn’t valid or that the deceased didn’t leave reasonable financial provision for a family member or dependant out of their estate. Claims can also be made against an estate if the deceased died without leaving a Will and a close family member or dependent says that the intestacy provision doesn’t make reasonable financial provision for them
Protecting the executors from personal liabilities arising from acting as the executor of a Will. For example, protection from tax liabilities
The complexity of the estate, for example does the estate include a family business or should a deed of variation be completed to minimise inheritance tax payable on the estate?
There are other reasons why you may want or need to use a probate solicitor and that is why it is best to talk to a probate solicitor about what getting probate involves and the costs and timescales before making a decision about whether to apply for probate without a solicitor.
Cheshire probate solicitors
If you have questions about probate or need advice on getting probate please call Chris Strogen at Evolve Family Law for a quote. Call or contact us online. Appointments are available in Holmes Chapel Cheshire or Manchester or by video conference, Skype or telephone appointment.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
We all experience periods of uncertainty and fear in our lives. Whether it is fear of committing to a new relationship, worries about whether you should separate or start divorce proceedings, how you will manage financially after your separation or how you will cope with the children spending time with your ex-partner. Over the last fortnight, many of us have realised that there is also an unseen fear or enemy; covid-19.
I say that covid 19 is an unseen enemy but the reality is that it is everywhere. You can’t turn on the television, log onto face book or read a newspaper without reading all about the latest statistics. That in turn can just heighten your anxieties and fears.
For those of you who are going through a separation or divorce and are already anxious about how you will cope after divorce, covid-19 is an additional stressor. Who would have thought that a few short months ago that we used to think that a relationship breakdown or a house move were two of the most stressful life experiences that we had to cope with. Now, it feels like we are living in a different world. One where fear can easily be as damaging as the coronavirus.
How do we overcome fear?
First off, whilst some people may call me an expert, I am a great believer in listening and finding out what works for you in overcoming your fears. Whilst you may not know it we all have the power to manage our fears whether they are about:
Feeling alone because you have ended a relationship
Worried about your job and finances because of covid-19
Concerned about where you will live and how you will manage financially after your divorce
Frightened about letting your children spend time with your ex-partner in case they fall ill when they are not with you
Feelings of not be able to cope with home schooling your children and not being able to cope with life as a separated parent and coronavirus.
In addition to all these fears, many of us are also worrying about our parents or loved ones, especially if they are elderly or have underlying health conditions and are self-isolating or shielding. On a practical note, this may be making life harder for you if you are used to parents or grandparents helping out with child care or just being available to do all the things you don’t normally have the time to do.
Confronting your fears can be one of the hardest things to do. In my work with clients and with my online community I provide lots of information to people who find themselves having to make relationship decisions and to face up to their fears so that they can successfully move on with their lives.
Fear about covid-19 is no different than coping with the fears of separating from a narcissist or a toxic individual. Here are my five top tips for managing your fears, whether they are coronavirus related worries or fears about your separation or divorce:
Embrace your fears
You are not alone. Everyone has fears. Some of us are very good at acknowledging and recognizing them but others of us are not. Give yourself permission to say that you are frightened. Embracing your fears diminishes them; like when you stand up to a bully.
Get help
It is easy to feel totally overwhelmed and isolated during lockdown. You are not alone. There is help. Lots of counsellors (myself included) are offering skype or facetime or phone or online help.
If it is a practical or legal worry that is making you fearful then it is best to get an answer. Family lawyers will be able to offer legal advice during the
lockdown or during your self-isolation through telephone appointments, face time or Skype calls. It may feel as though you are alone but you aren’t.
Distance yourself from the news
Whilst we all need to know what is going on in the world outside of the confines of our own homes, don’t spend too long watching 24 hour news coverage on the television or by avidly reading all there is to know about covid 19.
There is a balance to be struck between what you need to know to keep you and your family healthy and information overload.
If your ex-partner is bombarding you with communications over your separation, divorce or contact with the children then you need to block them out to a manageable level (if you need to stay in touch because of your children) or block them altogether if they are just venting their covid 19 frustrations and fears onto you in texts and messages about your relationship breakdown or divorce as a means of letting off steam.
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Find your routine
Whether you are trying to work from home, schooling the children or coping with being confined indoors for long parts of the day then the one of the answers to fear is routine; whether that is a work or schooling schedule, exercise schedule or eating and sleeping schedule.
That is because whilst you may find that life seems out of control because of the coronavirus or your ex-partner’s behavior, you can gain back some control by doing something as simple as following a daily routine.
Remember that even if you are stuck at home you still need to find time to do something nice for yourself, even if it something as simple as hot bath whilst the children re-watch a video or learning how to paint your nails in the absence of being able to go to a nail salon.
Be kind
You may be feeling pretty miserable if you are feeling isolated because of covid 19 or maybe it is because you are combining self-isolation with a recent separation or your ex-partner just doesn’t understand how worried you are about the children travelling to them for contact. If you can put how you are feeling aside for a few minutes to be kind to someone else I can guarantee that you will feel better.
Being kind doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can be as simple as suggesting a skype bed time story for a separated parent or grandparent or offering to get someone’s food whilst you are doing your own shop or just smiling at someone whilst maintaining your social distance. Sometimes, it really is the little things that help you, your family and neighbours and your community the most.
By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies
Coronavirus is making us look at every aspect of our lives, from how we socialise and exercise to how and where we work. With constant talk of hospital admission figures and mortality rates many of you are worried about raising your fears about coronavirus and financial concerns. However, whether you pay or receive either child maintenance or spousal maintenance , payments of maintenance may need to be reviewed and resolved. In this blog we look at child support, spousal maintenance and the impact of coronavirus.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to advise existing and new family law clients on all coronavirus related family law questions from child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship during lockdown or the financial issues arising from Covid 19. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coronavirus and spousal maintenance and child support payments
When you agree to pay or to receive an amount in spousal maintenance or child support it is often assumed that the amount you are expected to pay, or that you will receive, won't change all that much . However, whether it is spousal maintenance or child support, the amount you pay or receive in financial support can be reviewed either upwards or downwards.
Many of you are very worried about coronavirus and your jobs or fear that your income from self-employment will reduce drastically (if not disappear altogether) over the next few months. Whilst the government has assured us all that financial help is at hand, for both the employed and the self-employed, there are reports that people are confused about the eligibility rules for government help and are worried about how they can pay spousal maintenance or child support now.
If you are the person who is receiving the maintenance payment it is equally worrying as many feel that they are in an impossible position, having taken out mortgages and financial commitments, on the basis of promised or ordered spousal maintenance or child support.
Spousal maintenance orders and Covid-19
Spousal maintenance is either paid on a voluntary basis between husband and wife or civil partner or under a spousal maintenance court order.
If you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance under a court order then the first thing that you should look at is the wording of the financial court order and the spousal maintenance clause. If you are in any doubt about the wording or meaning of the spousal maintenance clause then it is best to take legal advice.
There are a number of ways in which spousal maintenance court orders can require the payment of spousal maintenance, such as:
Joint lives spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is payable until the death or the re-marriage of the person receiving the spousal maintenance payments
Time limited spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is paid for a set period of time and then stops on a date specified in the court order. In some cases, the person receiving the spousal maintenance can apply to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for but they have to apply to court to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for prior to the expiry of the order. In other court orders the spousal maintenance is said to be time limited with no option to extend the length of time that it is paid for.
Can spousal maintenance orders be changed?
Spousal maintenance orders can be changed by court order or by agreement. If your financial circumstances have changed because of coronavirus and you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance the government is urging you to try to reach an agreement with your ex-partner over spousal maintenance.
Family law solicitors say that whilst it is important, if possible, to reach an agreement over changes in spousal maintenance payments any agreement should be temporary or a holding agreement until the Covid 19 position is clearer.
Every family situation is different so you may need specialist legal advice on what to do about spousal maintenance payments. Some payments may need to stop and others may need to reduce or increase. Here are two case examples:
A dentist is no longer able to work but because he has an employer who is continuing to pay him then the spousal maintenance can continue at the same rate for the time being. The spousal maintenance might need to reduce or stop if the employer is forced to stop the dentist’s salary or the salary is reduced to the cap set by the government coronavirus income scheme
A National Health Service consultant is not affected financially by Covid 19 but his ex-wife has lost her job in the travel industry. Depending on her circumstances her spousal maintenance may need to increase on a temporary basis until she can get another job. If her spousal maintenance is a time limited order she may need to ask the court to extend the period of the spousal maintenance court order.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement
In these highly unusual times the focus is on working together. That is the message that the government is giving when it comes to sorting out the changes to child care , spousal maintenance or child support that are required because of coronavirus.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement include:
Communicate with your ex either directly, through a trusted friend or your family solicitor. If you don’t tell your ex what is going on and be upfront about how Covid-19 has affected you financially then they will expect the spousal maintenance payments to continue
Provide paperwork – family law solicitors say there is often an element of mistrust between separated spouses and so if you want your ex-spouse to agree to a reduction in spousal maintenance you will need to provide the supporting paperwork to show that you have lost your job or that your hours have been reduced or a bonus scheme scrapped
Reflect on any discussions with your ex and don’t be rushed into making long term decisions. After all your ex-spouse may get a new job or the government scheme may mean that their income isn’t as badly affected as first thought. You should not agree to any major changes in the spousal maintenance order or agree to the cessation of payments and cancellation of the spousal maintenance order without first taking legal advice
Record your agreement – if you are able to reach a spousal maintenance agreement with your ex-spouse then you need to record the agreement in case one of you changes your mind. If there is no clear recorded agreement then your ex could apply to court to enforce the spousal maintenance order and ask for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance. They may not be successful in that court application if there is a clear agreement drawn up by you (or your solicitors) that spousal maintenance is being changed temporarily and the reasons why and when spousal maintenance will be reviewed again, for example, if the payer gets a new job or a government income subsidy
Understand the court options- it is important to know that if your ex-spouse won't agree to a reduction or temporary stopping of spousal maintenance what your legal options are. You could apply to court to vary the spousal maintenance order to reduce or stop the payments. Your ex-spouse could apply to court for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance and to enforce the spousal maintenance order. The court decision would be based on all the circumstances of your case and the ability of the paying person to pay spousal maintenance. If you are upfront with the paperwork relating to the change in income this may make a court application to formally vary the spousal maintenance order unnecessary.
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Can child maintenance be changed?
Covid-19 and the financial fallout and economic downturn will affect child support payments as well as spousal maintenance orders. In most families child support is either paid as a voluntary arrangement between you and your ex-partner or under a child maintenance service assessment. It is rare for there to be a child support court order as the court only has limited jurisdiction to make child support orders.
Again family law solicitors are recommending that parents talk to one another about child maintenance and to see whether the child support needs to be changed because of a change in the payer’s financial circumstances. If the payments are made under a child maintenance service assessment then you may need to ask the agency to carry out a new assessment.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are here to answer all your family law questions whether it is a coronavirus related family law question, child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship or financial issues arising from coronavirus. If you legal help call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
If you are in an abusive relationship then you may think that during the coronavirus outbreak there is no help available and that you’re ‘’on your own’’. Although all this talk of self-isolation and social distancing may make you feel like that, the message from family law solicitors is that ‘’you are not alone’’. There is help available during the coronavirus outbreak if you are in an abusive relationship. In this blog we look at your legal options if you are caught up in an abusive relationship and need help to get out of it during the coronavirus outbreak.
Online domestic violence and family law solicitors
Although law offices may be closed because of Covid-19, Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to support those at risk of domestic violence needing help to leave an abusive relationship during the Covid-19 lockdown. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coping in abusive relationships during the coronavirus outbreak
If your partner is abusive towards you then it is difficult enough to cope when life is ‘’normal’’. For many the fact that partners are now either working from home or not able to work, and so are based at home full time, is particularly hard. There is no escape from home for you to visit friends or family or go off to work.
Tensions can also be increased by your partner’s health or financial anxieties about Covid-19, their lack of ability to go to the pub or to the gym to meet up with their friends and the presence of the children twenty four hours a day at the family home.
The government has said that it wants Covid-19 to bring out ‘’the best in us’’. That is a laudable aim but sadly domestic violence organisations and family law solicitors know that, for some families, domestic abuse may increase because of having to spend so much time with a partner. Alternatively, partners who haven’t previously been abusive may snap and either lash out or become very coercive and controlling.
When you hear that the police are cracking down on people leaving their homes it may make you reluctant to leave or seek help from domestic violence organisations or family law solicitors but, coronavirus or not, if you are in an abusive relationship you should seek help.
Those people who are contacting us about abusive partners are often reluctant to acknowledge the extent of the abuse and prefer to minimise some of the partner’s behaviour, especially if it falls short of physical violence and involves coercive control such as:
Dictating what you can eat
Saying when you can watch the TV and what programmes you can watch
Checking your mobile phone or internet usage
Restricting when or if you can go out for your daily exercise or for essentials like food shopping
Forcing you to have sex
Not allowing you any freedom within your house by insisting on being in the same room as you
Listening into your phone calls to friends and family.
As the restrictions on the movement of people continues in force because of the Covid-19 pandemic the sort of coercive controlling behaviour that you could cope with when one or both of you were out working can become intolerable. However, there is help available.
Help if you are in an abusive relationship
The police, domestic violence organisations, the family courts and online family law solicitors are continuing to offer help to those trapped in an abusive relationship.
If you or your children are at risk of immediate harm then you should call the police. The police understand that the risks of domestic violence are increased during the current crisis. They may be able to arrest your partner. If the situation is so serious that you can't wait for the police to arrive you can leave with your children as the authorities will accept that leaving an abusive relationship is an emergency and that is an exception to the requirement to stay indoors.
In addition to the police there are various domestic violence organisations who are open and available to help and offer support:
The National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
The Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327
The Mix, information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
The Samaritans – 116 123
In addition to police and domestic violence organisation help the family court and domestic violence solicitors are open to help you if you need court protection in the form of an injunction order.
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Injunctions against domestic violence during the Covid-19 outbreak
You may have read that most courts and public offices are closed. Whilst that is correct the family courts are open for remote emergency hearings including applications for:
Non-molestation injunction orders
Occupation orders
Emergency child arrangements orders and other types of children orders to safeguard and protect children.
Therefore, if you are in an abusive relationship, there is help available from the family court. Don’t worry that you may not be able to get to see a family law solicitor. Even prior to the coronavirus outbreak many family law and domestic violence solicitors were used to taking instructions by phone appointment or video conference and used to conducting court hearings remotely.
That isn’t to say that things are a bit of a challenge but if you need help then both the court and family law solicitors are just a phone call away.
If you need protection then a family law injunction order may be your best option. There are two types of family law injunction order:
A non-molestation order – to stop your partner from being physically violent or aggressive or verbally abusive or exerting coercive control over you
An occupation order – to stop your partner from returning to the family home (if he/she has left but is threatening to return to the family home) or to make your partner leave the family home or to restrict him/her to certain parts of the family home.
The court and family law solicitors also recognise that you might need help if you are living with extended family and are being subjected to domestic violence or coercive control or that you may need help with your children and need the security of a children order, such as
A child arrangements order
A specific issue order
A prohibited steps order.
It is often the case that people suffer in silence when they live with an abusive partner or they think that what they are coping with isn’t ‘’bad enough’’ to get help. Since the Covid 19 rules on restriction of movement have come in many have thought that they are trapped in an abusive relationship for the duration of lockdown. Domestic violence organisations, the police, courts and family law solicitors are saying that domestic violence and abusive behaviour isn’t right in any circumstances and that if you need help then call.
Online family law solicitors
The specialist family lawyers at Evolve Family Law can help you if you are in an abusive relationship and you need legal help. Call us or complete our online enquiry form for a video conference or telephone appointment.
Update 24th March 2020:
In UK government guidance published 24 March, it states:
Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents’ homes
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others
Whilst parents may wish or need to adapt contact arrangements, they can, and should still continue for children. These are frightening times for children and maintaining normality will hopefully help quell their fears. Now, more than ever, parents should put aside their differences and co-operate and act in their children’s best interest at all times.
This advice should be read in conjunction with the following Government advice on what to do if someone in your household becomes unwell:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection
Parents want to protect their child and that is particularly true when it comes to the coronavirus. It is hard enough coping with the worries of looking after your children and safeguarding them in normal times but in a pandemic the job of being a parent has just got so much harder. That is the case whether you are living with your partner, separated or divorced. In this blog we look at the question of coronavirus and child contact after a separation or divorce.
Online children law solicitors
Evolve Family Law are based in Cheshire and Manchester but offer a full range of online children law services with appointments available by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help with child custody and contact please contact us.
Stopping Child Contact Because of Coronavirus
We are receiving a high number of enquiries asking us whether child arrangements can continue now the government has restricted our movements. We are getting a real sense that the vast majority of these parents aren’t wanting to stop contact to upset their ex-partner or trying to use Covid-19 as an excuse to stop contact visits that they don’t like, but because they genuinely fear for their children and their families. At the moment the advice from the government agency, CAFCASS, is to continue contact arrangements as normal as CAFCASS thinks it is in the best interests of children to maintain contact so the children keep to a familiar routine, even if they are missing out on going to school.
Whilst some may say that statistically children should be OK even if they get the coronavirus that doesn’t ease parent’s anxiety and fears that children going back and forth between households could increase the risk of spreading infection to a member of your family who is in a high risk group with an underlying health condition and is therefore more vulnerable to Covid-19.
There is also a concern being expressed by parents about what might happen if a child is on a contact visit and the other parent falls ill and the family has to self-isolate or if the country goes into lock down and children can't travel back to you.
One of the issues facing separated or divorced parents is that not everyone is as worried about Covid-19 as some are. That can create feelings of tension and acrimony between parents who are living together with their children, let alone separated or divorced parents where there may already be an element of mistrust or a history of communication problems.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that if you want to stop contact because of the coronavirus and high risk issues then whether you can legally do so will depend on whether there is an existing child arrangements order in place and what it says. If you have an existing child arrangements order and you don’t know if you can stop contact or not then it is best to take legal advice.
Coronavirus and Child Arrangements Orders
If you have a child arrangements order in place that sets out the parenting arrangements for your child then if you stop contact you are likely to be in breach of the court order. Your ex-partner could apply to enforce the child arrangements order and you could apply to vary the child arrangements order.
If you are following government advice to self-isolate because a member of your family is unwell then your ex should not apply to enforce an order and you should not need to apply to vary the child arrangements order because of your self-isolation. However, if it isn’t a self-isolation or lockdown situation, but you want to change or stop contact arrangements because of the coronavirus and any high risk concerns, you may need to look at what your child arrangements order says and your ex –partner may want to apply for a child arrangements order so contact isn’t stopped.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that the use of children court proceedings should always be the ‘last resort’ and it is best to try to negotiate a change in a child arrangements by agreement.
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Sorting out contact during the coronavirus outbreak
It is all very well for children law solicitors to talk about trying to reach an agreement about stopping or changing contact arrangements but many parents say that it is far harder to do that in reality. That is certainly true but sometimes it takes a children law solicitor to cut through the parental history of mistrust and get to the real issues.
In these unprecedented times it is inevitable that parents will want to protect their children and to ‘wrap them up in cotton wool’. What parent wouldn't? However it is important for parents to take a step back and think that the coronavirus pandemic won't be with us for ever and that when the UK comes out of the current crisis you still want to be on speaking terms with your ex-partner or at least be able to communicate with them over the parenting arrangements.
Therefore, if you are contemplating stopping or changing contact Cheshire children law solicitors recommend that you:
Think about the reasons why you want to stop or change contact. Can contact still take place through reducing risks , for example , by you driving the children to contact rather than older children or the other parent using public transport to get to your ex-partner’s house or can you change the contact drop off point
Consider if you can agree consistent rules on what the children can do during their time with the other parent. That way one parent isn’t doing all the home schooling and enforcing a curfew and activity restrictions for older children whilst the other parent carries on as normal
Think about the alternatives to direct contact, such as facetime or Skype or phone. Bed time stories by facetime maybe something small children would love and the offer of such contact might reassure your ex that you aren’t trying to cut them out, but you want they want; happy and healthy children
Take legal advice as sometimes an experienced children law solicitor can help you find resolutions that you had not thought about or help you with the words to help your ex understand why you are so particularly worried about coronavirus and child contact. It can undoubtedly be hard for an ex-partner to hear that you want to stop or reduce contact when they and the children haven’t done ‘anything wrong’ and seeing the children is helping them get through the coronavirus outbreak. However, this is a time when a children law solicitor can help you both focus on what is best for the children, whether that is getting you help with your fears, or helping your ex-partner to understand any particular high risk issues.
Online Children Law Solicitors
Evolve Family Law provide a full range of online children law services with appointments available with specialist children law solicitors by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help call us or contact us online
When most of us see headlines about compensation we think that the newsworthy case must be a civil claim for compensation arising out of a road traffic accident or medical negligence. However, in the news last week was a case on ‘divorce compensation’. In this blog we look at what is meant by divorce compensation.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are in the process of a separation or divorce and want advice on a financial settlement then the family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children proceedings, the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online.Divorce compensation
Divorce compensation is in all the newspapers because of a case involving two solicitors. The couple had been married for about ten years and have two children together. The family wealth amounts to about ten million. The family judge ordered that the husband and wife should each get fifty percent, around five million each.
You may think that £5 million each is a just and fair award as after all the couple had been married for nearly a decade. However, the judge went onto order that the wife should get an extra £400,000 for what was termed by the judge as ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ or divorce compensation.
The judge made the additional £400,000 award because the wife and mother, a Cambridge law graduate, had sacrificed her career as a solicitor to look after the couple’s two children.
The court decision will be of interest to many as it is common for one partner in a relationship to step back from their career to become a house husband or wife or to try to juggle child care and home making with a part time career, thus losing out on job promotions and work bonuses. Often the philosophy is that either a husband or wife has to step back from their career as if they equally share the childcare commitment both careers will suffer.
In some family situations, where one spouse has a lower earnings capacity than the other, the choice may be painfully obvious as to who should take on the role of the main breadwinner. However, in the reported case both husband and wife started out their married life as qualified solicitors and both (rather than one) could have had stellar careers had it not been for the decision to forgo a career to look after the couple’s children.
Can I get divorce compensation?
When a case hits the headlines many people, lawyers included, think that divorce compensation will be the ‘new thing’ and that everyone will be claiming for relationship generated disadvantage. However, the judge in the recent court case, made it clear in his ruling that his decision in the case of the two unnamed lawyers should not open the floodgates to a plethora of relationship generated disadvantage divorce compensation claims. The judge said that relationship generated disadvantage claims should be limited to where there are truly exceptional circumstances.
How do I claim for relationship generated disadvantage?
Compensation for relationship-generated disadvantage can be included as part of your financial claim in divorce financial proceedings. You cannot claim for relationship generated disadvantage if you are in a cohabiting relationship.
The relationship generated disadvantage claim is made as part of your financial settlement claims and assessed at the same time as the judge decides on:
What the family assets are
What your needs and your spouse’s needs are (and if you have children what your children’s needs are)
How your family assets should be divided between you
Whether you should get the family home or if it should be transferred to your spouse as part of the financial settlement or sold and the proceeds divided between you
Whether you or your spouse should receive a share of the other’s pension as part of the financial settlement
Whether a clean break order should be made to prevent further financial claims
Whether spousal maintenance should be paid and, if so, for how long and how much should be paid.
There are a host of other things that a judge has to consider such as whether one spouse should pay towards the other’s legal costs or not.
Any claim for divorce compensation or relationship generated disadvantage will be added to the list of issues for the judge to rule on and to explain why he/she has allowed an additional award for relationship generated disadvantage or ruled it out in their court judgment.
In the case of the two solicitors it was clearly evident that the wife had given up a lucrative career to care for children and that she had a case to say, that with her qualifications, she could have enjoyed an equally stellar career as her husband had it not been for the fact that the arrival of children seriously damaged her ability to work in a demanding career as a solicitor.
You may take the view that with a financial settlement of around five million the wife did not need the extra £400,000 for ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ as the five million would more than meet her reasonable needs. However, the court has said in previous cases where divorce compensation arguments have been raised, that relationship generated disadvantage is relevant even if their future needs have been met generously through the financial settlement. That is because one spouse has given up their ability to generate an income surplus to needs and so in an exceptional case they can ask a judge to rule that their husband or wife should pay an element of ‘divorce compensation’.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are separating or getting divorced and are worried about your financial settlement then whether or not you gave up your career you need expert legal advice on your best financial settlement options.
The family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children law proceedings the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you reach a financial settlement that works for you and your family. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online .
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Louise Halford
Mar 23, 2020
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