Parenting Plans

If you have separated from your partner or you are mid-way through divorce proceedings, the most important thing to sort out is the childcare arrangements for your children.

As parents, you need to decide whether your children will be co-parented, parallel parented, or if one parent will be the primary parent, looking after the children full-time, with the other parent spending time with them.

Whatever child care arrangement you choose, a parenting plan can help both parents understand the ground rules and reduce the risk of disputes and court applications for child arrangement orders.

For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

Children law solicitor, Louise Halford, answers your frequently asked questions on parenting plans:

1. What is a parenting plan?
2. How do I agree on a parenting plan?
3. What should be included in a parenting plan?
4. How do you change a parenting plan?

 What is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan is a document created by parents to outline the parenting arrangements for a child or children following a separation or divorce.

Parents can agree upon a parenting plan, or it can be made after children’s court proceedings for a:

• Child arrangement order.
• Specific issue order.
• Prohibited steps order.
• Relocation order.

How do I agree on a parenting plan?

There are many ways that parents can agree on a parenting plan. You can use a template and prepare one yourself. Sometimes, that is a bad idea, as ‘going it alone’ may lead to arguing with your ex-partner and polarising your positions.

With the help of a children’s law solicitor or family mediator, you may be able to discuss child care arrangements and reach a compromise.

At Evolve Family Law, our solicitors are committed to helping parents reach an agreement on post-separation parenting arrangements for their children without needing to apply to court for a child arrangement order. We can do this through:

1. Solicitor negotiations.
2. Family mediation with our family law mediator.
3. Family arbitration.
4. Using our amicable divorce one lawyer service.

Sometimes, a parent has no choice but to apply to the court for a child arrangement order. For example, if one parent is not able to provide a satisfactory level of care or if they fear the other parent will take the child overseas to live.

To understand your options, book a consultation with one of our specialist family law solicitors.

What should go into a parenting plan?

Every child and family is different, so your parenting plan should be tailored to your individual needs and those of your child.

The fact that a family member, a neighbour, or a friend has a parenting plan should not influence what should go into your parenting plan. That is because your parenting plan needs to outline the best agreement for your family, taking into account your family’s circumstances and personal preferences.

For example, some parents share care of their children, with the children spending an equal amount of time with each parent. Other parents prefer their children to have one home base during the week and to share quality time on weekends and school holidays. Neither option is the ‘best’ or the right one, as so much depends on your family and each parent’s work commitments and the distance between the two homes.

Every parenting plan should consider including what has been agreed on, such as:

• Home base– unless parenting is to be shared equally.
• Contact or shared parenting arrangements, such as the agreed-upon times for collection and return, drop-off points, and who will do the collections and returns.
• The practical points on shared care and regular contact, such as the washing and return of school uniforms, the supervision of homework or who is responsible for clothes and shoes shopping or haircuts.
• Whether phone contact is to take placebetween parent and child, and, if so, the frequency of phone calls so that they do not become too restrictive or intrusive for a parent with the care of a younger child.
• Special contact(child and parents’ birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, as well as Christmas and religious observance days) and holidays.
• Best method of communication between parentsif contact or other arrangements need to be changed. For example, mobile, text or email. Communication may be necessary to cancel a visit or to agree on a coordinated approach to buying birthday presents.
• Who is responsible for medical and dental appointments, and communication about appointments, or to say if a child is ill or hospitalised.
• How will you deal with parent evenings at school, or attendance at school plays, or sports days?
• How will you address the introduction of new partners and their children, and the communication of the information to your ex-partner? This type of information is helpful so that the other parent does not find out about new relationships or remarriage through the child. Whilst you may not want to communicate this type of personal information or receive the news about your ex-partner’s new relationship, a significant reason for child care arrangement breakdown is non-communication over adult issues that also affect your child.
• Holiday plans– if you plan to go on holiday during your holiday contact time, is it agreed that you need to inform the other parent about your planned trips overseas or to a destination in the UK and give agreed key information such as flight times and numbers and hotel details and who else who will be accompanying the child on holiday. For example, a new partner and their children.
• Parenting plan changes– how you will agree to make changes to the parenting plan.

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How do you change a parenting plan?

Children’s wants and needs change over time. What are the appropriate parenting arrangements for a two-year-old who is not in school may be completely different from those for an eleven-year-old. By the time a child is in their teenage years, the arrangements will need to change again. Add to the mix that your circumstances may change with a new job, house, or relationship, and the arrival of additional children or stepchildren. Likewise, your ex-partner’s circumstances are likely to change, necessitating a review of the parenting plan.

The fact that a parenting plan needs to be changed should not be a sign of defeat. For example, your five-year-old may struggle to cope with equal co-parenting, even if their cousin or other children in their class can manage it. Some children are just more adaptable than others. Alternatively, a parenting plan may need changing or tweaking because the only reason that a child is struggling with co-parenting or parallel parenting is different parenting regimes in the two households and two parenting styles that are confusing to the child because as soon as a child has got used to one routine they move to their other parent’s home.

Agreeing to a change in the parenting plan

A parenting plan can be changed by email, or you may prefer a meeting; alternatively, you can set up an annual review to discuss how things are working.

The best thing is that if anything about the child care arrangements is ‘bugging you’, you do not let things fester, so they do not become acrimonious or even lead to children’s law court proceedings. Instead, it is preferable to agree to review the parenting plan, perhaps with the help of a children’s law solicitor or family mediator, before the arrangements break down or positions are polarised.

It is also helpful to remember that as children get older, they will want to have a say in the parenting plan. For example, the ten o’clock Saturday contact start time may work for you, but your teenager may want to stay in bed until noon or go out with their mates on a Saturday night.

The key point with a parenting plan is that it should evolve with you and your family. Just because something worked in the past doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the best approach for your child or your ex-partner now.

How can a children’s law solicitor at Evolve Family Law help?

If you are struggling to agree on child care arrangements after your separation or divorce, or you want to change your parenting plan and your ex-partner is resisting, Evolve Family Law can help you to reach an agreement or secure a child arrangement order.

We are North West and Online Children Law Solicitors: For expert family law advice, call us now or complete our online enquiry form.