Child Custody & Contact

If you are considering stopping contact between your child and their other parent, it is advisable to talk to a family law solicitor before taking any action. In this blog, we examine the circumstances where, after a separation or divorce, one parent can prevent a child from seeing the other parent. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Stopping contact between a child and their parent After a separation or divorce, many parents want to stop their child from seeing the other parent. Sometimes those feelings are fleeting, a reaction to a parent arriving late for contact or due to an argument. In other families, one parent may believe that it is in their child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent. ​Regardless of the reasons for wanting to end contact, it's best to seek legal advice before taking any action. Stopping contact if there is an existing child arrangement order  If there is an existing child arrangement order in place, you may be in breach of the court order if you stop your child from seeing their other parent without first applying to the court to vary the child arrangement order to end or reduce the parenting time. Sometimes, the decision not to send a child to their parent for a contact visit can be difficult. In other situations, there may be immediate or serious welfare concerns, so you feel justified in not following the court order. As breaching a child arrangement order could result in enforcement action, it's best to understand your options, your former partner’s options and the court’s likely views on why you breached the child arrangement order, rather than waiting and applying to vary the child arrangement order and only then altering the parenting time. Stopping contact if there is no child arrangement order in place  If there is no child arrangement order in force, it is still best to get expert legal advice on the best course of action. That is because if you stop contact, your ex-partner may apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Depending on the current level of parenting time spent with the children and the reasons why you want to stop contact, your ex-partner may even be allowed to spend additional time with your child. Should you stop contact between a child and the other parent? There are certain scenarios in which contact between a parent and child should be stopped, as it is in the best interests of the child to do so. For example: If you have the grounds to fear child abduction and your child being taken out of the UK without your agreement, or You are worried that the other parent cannot safely care for the children during their parenting time and doesn’t have the insight into their mental health or addiction issues, or the extended family support to make their parenting time a safe experience for your child. However, there are other scenarios where it isn’t necessarily in your child’s best interests to stop contact, even though the cessation of contact would make life a lot easier for you, as you would not need to contact your ex-partner over the parenting arrangements. Reasons to stop contact There are many situations where one parent often wants to stop a child from having contact with the other parent. Reasons to stop contact include: The other parent has not paid child support or spousal maintenance. The other parent has met a new partner, and you feel angry or hurt about it. The other parent gives you a lot of hassle and grief over the parenting plan, and you feel they are trying to control you through the communication that they have with you over childcare. You are worried that your ex-partner will be violent towards you at either collection or drop-off time. The other parent is always late collecting or returning the child. The child does not do any homework whilst with the other parent and always returns tired after a weekend away, meaning that the child finds it hard to settle back into their routine and concentrate on their school work. The other parent won’t follow the same parenting routine as you, so you are seen as the disciplinarian and no fun. The child says derogatory things about you that they have heard from the other parent during their parenting time. The child says they don’t want to see the other parent because time spent with their other parent is boring, and they want to see their friends. The child doesn’t like the other parent’s new partner or their children. All the above are valid concerns that require legal advice and discussion with an expert children's law solicitor about how best to resolve them; however, the solution may not be to end all parenting time with the other parent. You might also be interested in [related_posts] What happens if I stop my child from spending time with their other parent? If you stop contact between your child and the other parent, then the other parent could: Apply to the family court to enforce an existing child arrangement order. Apply to the court for a child arrangement order. Still turn up to see the child. For example, to collect the child from school. Walk away from family life and have no further contact. Your child may not want to end or reduce the amount of time they spend with their other parent, even if it is in their best interests to do so. Stopping contact may lead the child to feel hurt and angry towards you. In addition, the child may think of their other parent in an idealised fashion. As they are no longer having contact with the other parent, the child may forget that the other parent was late in collecting them or did nothing with them during the parenting time other than watch television. It can help to talk to a family law solicitor about the likely outcome of an application for a child arrangement order by the other parent or an application by you for a children order, such as a prohibited steps order. That’s because it is best to understand the approach the family court will take to stopping contact and how the judge will weigh up what future parenting arrangements are in your child’s best interests. Alternatives to going to court to stop contact A children's law solicitor can also discuss alternative options to applying to court to end contact, such as: Family mediation to help you explain to your ex-partner your concerns about contact. Protective orders, such as domestic violence injunction orders, if your ex-partner is harassing you, or you fear child abduction. Round table meeting with family lawyers to discuss your concerns and reach a resolution. For example, agreeing on a parenting plan with consistent parenting routines for the child or agreeing to supervised contact whilst your ex-partner is experiencing a period of mental ill-health or working on overcoming an addiction. Family therapy can be a safe place to discuss future parenting time. This can involve an older child, so they can explain how they feel about contact. Therefore, while it is tempting to sever contact between your child and their other parent, it is usually best to take some time to reflect and consider the legal consequences of such a decision. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

One of the most emotive topics after a separation or divorce is how often a father can see his child. In this blog, Northwest family law solicitor Louise Halford explains the law regarding parenting time after separation or divorce. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. How often can a father see his child after a parental separation? There is no rule on how often a father can see his child after a parental separation. As specialist family law solicitors, we have negotiated parenting plans or secured child arrangement orders that say: The child lives with their dad and spends some parenting time with mum, or There is a shared parenting regime, or The children live with their mum and their dad has contact. In extreme cases, where there are significant welfare concerns, the court can order supervised parenting time or even no contact. Our family lawyers recommend that neither parent attend the parenting negotiations with a fixed idea of the parenting time that must take place. In most families, there isn't only one solution that will meet the children's needs to have an ongoing relationship with both parents. Do children always stay with their mothers after a separation or divorce? It used to be the case that after a separation or divorce, most children lived with their mother, and their father had parenting time or contact. In many families, that remains the position. However, instead of it always being assumed that a child will live with their mother nowadays, all options are on the table, including the child living with their father, the child having contact with their mother, or a shared care arrangement. It isn’t so much that the law has changed, but societal attitudes and working practices have changed. For a long time, the court has focused on what child law order is in the best interests of the child when determining court applications over parenting time. As every child and family is different, family lawyers must consider family circumstances before advising on parenting arrangements or when advising on a child arrangement order application. Custody, residence and child arrangement orders In the past, when a father traditionally went out to work and the mother was a stay-at-home parent or worked part-time, it was often thought best that a child should continue to live with the primary caregiver or the parent who was available to meet their day-to-day needs. With both parents now often working full-time, the best interests of the child may be best served by a shared care arrangement. The change in working patterns and societal norms has prompted a change in legal language. Lawyers no longer talk about custody, contact and residence, but rather parenting time. Is a father entitled to shared care if he wants to co-parent his child after a separation or divorce? Although much is written in the media about shared parenting being the norm or ideal, neither a mother nor a father is ‘entitled’ to share the care of their child after a separation or divorce. That’s because if parents can’t agree on the childcare arrangements for their child and the court is asked to make a child arrangement order, the court will assess what order is in their child’s best interests. Shared parenting (whether that is an exactly equal split of parenting time or a sixty-forty split of time or other percentage) may be the best option for the child, but not necessarily. Equal shared parenting time may not be in the best interests of a child if: Parents don’t live, or are not intending to live, relatively close to one another to ensure that the child can get to school from both homes, or The child prefers to have one home base, rather than moving between homes, or One parent’s work commitment means that if parenting were shared, the reality is that the child would be looked after during that parent’s parenting time by extensive use of professional carers, or The parents don’t get on at all and won’t cooperate over parenting, making frequent handovers for the child disruptive and distressing. Shared care can be ideal, but it isn’t practical for every family, and therefore it isn't in the best interests of every child whose parents separate or divorce. When looking at childcare arrangements, it is best not to think of ‘entitlement’ but what arrangements are likely to meet your child’s needs. Is shared parenting the best option for children and their dads? Most child experts say that spending an equal amount of parenting time with a child after a separation or divorce isn’t the key to successful parenting, but ensuring that the time you do spend with your children is ‘quality’ time. For parenting time to be quality time, it doesn’t have to be expensive outings, but being able to set aside time to read with younger children, help with homework, or transport to football practice, ballet club or just talking and taking an interest in what your children are doing at school or when they are with their other parent.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How often can a father see his child? Fathers often want to know the worst-case and best-case scenarios of how they will usually be able to see their child after a separation or divorce. A great deal depends on your circumstances.  For example, contact will be restricted if a mother successfully applies for a relocation order to enable her to move overseas with the child, or parenting time will be more limited if a father has to relocate to a new area in the UK due to his work commitments. Many parents agree to split the week so that children spend roughly equal amounts of time with each parent. For other families, the preferred option is for a child to live with one parent during the week and have midweek and alternate weekend parenting time with the other parent. Contact with the child every weekend would mean that the residential parent of a school-age child would not spend any quality time with the child over the weekend. There is therefore no set rule about how often a father can see his child. That can be frustrating for some fathers who want certainty after a separation or divorce. However, not having set rules means that parents can work out what child parenting arrangements or co-parenting schedule works best for their family, or the court can be asked to make a child arrangement order after assessing what is best for your child rather than following a fixed formula. Manchester and Cheshire Children Law Solicitors If you need help with your separation or divorce, negotiating parenting time or representation in a child arrangement order application, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. We have offices in Whitefield, North Manchester and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, but we can also arrange a telephone appointment or online consultation.

In this blog, Louise Halford, a family lawyer specialising in children's law, examines what children want from shared parenting.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice.   What is shared parenting? To some, shared parenting means equal parenting, where a child’s time is split equally between the two parental households. To the court and family lawyers, shared parenting is a more encompassing concept. A child can live with one parent under a child arrangement order but participate in a shared parenting arrangement because their other parent has contact and actively cares for them. Take the case of two separated parents who parent 50/50 but don’t communicate with one another, unless they have no choice. The anger and animosity during their separation and in financial settlement negotiations meant their divorce was labelled as high-conflict. They are now engaged in shared parenting, but not in the spirit of it. Contrast their co-parenting with a Mother who has a child arrangement order and a child who lives with her 60% of the time. You may think that isn't shared parenting, but the Dad is actively engaged in all important parental decision-making, and both parents communicate with one another to provide their child with consistent parenting and routines. As a children lawyer, Louise Halford prefers to use the broad definition of shared parenting as that encapsulates what shared parenting should be. It should not relate to percentages or the hours spent with a child, but rather to sharing the job of being a parent and quality time.   The court's approach to shared parenting The court has moved away from weekend contact to an absent parent (traditionally the Dad), and nowadays, a child arrangement order with shared parenting is usual unless: The parents engaged in a high-conflict divorce, or There was domestic violence in the parental relationship, or Child welfare reasons prevent shared parenting, or The child is of an age to say that they do not want a shared parenting arrangement, or Geographical reasons make shared parenting impractical. Child welfare issues include factors such as parental alcohol or drug addiction, mental health, or other issues that lead the court to conclude that a shared parenting arrangement is not in the child’s best interests.   Shared parenting after a high-conflict divorce It can be hard for separated or divorced parents to put aside their differences and focus on shared parenting. High conflict between parents can stem from: One or both parents' behaviour during the relationship. One parent has met a new partner, and the other parent does not think the new partner is a good role model for their child. Difficult financial settlement negotiations, or one parent is unhappy with the terms of a financial court order. Unwanted interference from extended family or new partners. Children focused on creating parental conflict as it suits their agenda to play one parent off against the other.   The consequences of high conflict in shared parenting Some of the consequences of high-conflict divorce in shared parenting arrangements are: The children don’t want to move between the two households as it is too emotionally draining. Children are embarrassed by the parental conflict and don’t want their friends to witness it. The children work hard to fit in and be the children their parents want them to be during their parenting time – the children lead a double life. Children mask and pretend that the conflict between their parents isn't affecting them. Children act out because they are caught in the middle of a parental war.   Research on what children want from shared parenting You would think it would be relatively easy to download the latest research on what children want from shared parenting and quote relevant chunks of data. However, it is far from easy. A lot of internet searching led us to an article published in April 2015 in The International Journal of Children's Rights, ‘’A qualitative synthesis of children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post separation.’’ [related_posts]   Data on children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post-separation  The 2015 article in The International Journal of Children's Rights pulls together international research on children’s experiences of shared cared parenting post-separation from studies conducted in various countries. Here is a snippet from the article that references two of the research studies: ‘’The line that differentiates sole versus shared care is arbitrary, adult-construed, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the children involved. Rather than a binary legal argument, children consider multiple factors when assessing the parenting plan that may work best for them (Sadowski and McIntosh, in press; Whitehead, 2012). Participants across the studies seem to favour shared care when they were provided input into the decision-making process, when parents respect and integrate their feelings and concerns, when the parenting plan emphasised and maximised their time with both parents, and when the plan supported a continuous and meaningful relation- ship with both parents and their siblings post separation and divorce (Blackwell, 1992; Cashmore et al., 2010; Lodge and Alexander, 2010)’’. In summary, the various research studies referred to in the article show: Living arrangements with flexible contact between both parents were the preferred arrangement across studies. Children appreciate the opportunity to see their other parent and the flexibility to visit their other home when needed. Children appreciate shared care that provides them with a regular routine and a sense of being wanted by both parents. Children prefer shared care when they were asked for their views on how shared care will work, and when parents respect their views and the plan allows for meaningful time with both parents. Children appreciate shared parenting that allows for flexibility, enabling the plan to be adjusted to fit the child’s priorities and commitments. Young adults sometimes prefer to have one home because they want to concentrate on school or find it hard to study in a parental household with younger half-siblings. Children get frustrated when a parenting plan does not allow them to spend quality time with one parent. Some children, especially when parents conflict with one another, find shared parenting difficult. Some children expressed a preference for stability and a regular routine. The type of shared parenting arrangement has a significant impact on how it works for the child. Some children took the view that an alternating week schedule with each parent was too disruptive for them. The children said that sharing their time between both parents did not weaken their sibling relationships or adversely impact their childhood friendships.   Lessons from the 2015 research The research studies in the 2015 paper tell family lawyers what children want from shared parenting: To be heard and to feel that they have a voice. For parents to work together to make shared parenting work. Parenting plans based on a child’s needs rather than a parent's desire to have 50/50 time. Flexible shared care to meet a child’s calendar of sports activities, friendships and commitments. Shared care arrangements that adjust as children's needs change over time. One of the key points in the 2015 article was the importance of listening to the child. In one study, a child described attending a school event with both parents. To outsiders, it must have appeared to be a successful shared parenting arrangement. However, to the child, it was awful, as they recognised their parents’ body language and the fact that neither was prepared to speak to the other.  The article highlights that what children want from shared parenting is the real thing: parents who can communicate and share parenting responsibilities between two households, rather than high-conflict parents pretending to engage in shared parenting.   Shared parenting legal advice Parents may need help understanding how shared parenting affects their children when parenting styles conflict, there is a high level of parental conflict, or when practical issues, such as distances between parents’ homes, make shared parenting difficult to navigate. It is equally important for parents to understand the impact of a shared care regime on the financial settlement and child support arrangements. Whilst money should not affect the decision on the type of parenting plan that meets the needs of your children, for most parents, the financial impact is a key consideration. Where parenting time is shared equally, the Child Maintenance Service rules say that no child support is payable, even if there is a significant income discrepancy. Those child maintenance rules can make it difficult for some parents to agree to a shared parenting regime, even in situations where they get along, unless the ex-spouse is willing to pay child maintenance voluntarily. When parents are splitting up, it's best to discuss openly with older children and the other parent the type of parenting arrangement that will best suit your family after your separation. Those discussions can take place jointly with the child, individually with each parent or with professional help. The help could come through a child-inclusive family mediation or family therapy. At Evolve Family Law, our children's law solicitors provide comprehensive legal advice, ensuring parents receive the support they need to understand the financial and practical implications of agreeing to a shared parenting arrangement. If an agreement cannot be reached, we can advise and represent you in an application for a child arrangement order.   Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice. ‍ ‍

If you are going through a separation or divorce, you are bound to have lots of questions about your child custody rights or want to ask questions about residence, contact or access orders. In this article, children law expert Louise Halford answers your frequently asked questions on child arrangement orders. For expert Divorce and Children Law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.   What is a child arrangement order? A child arrangement order is a court order that sets out parenting arrangements for children when there is a dispute between parents over their child’s living arrangements. The order is a combined order, as it will outline where the children will live (formerly referred to as a custody order or residence order) and the spending time with arrangements (formerly referred to as an access order or contact order). Do I need a child arrangement order? You only need a child arrangement order if you can’t agree on the parenting arrangements for your children. If you cannot reach an agreement directly with your ex-partner, your children's law solicitor can help you resolve issues through alternative dispute resolution. Alternative dispute resolution keeps disputes out of court. There are several ways to reach a parenting agreement without going to court. These include: Family mediation. Family arbitration. Amicable divorce with our one-lawyer service. Solicitor negotiations. Direct negotiations. The family court will not routinely make a child arrangement order to record what you have agreed unless there is a history of dispute or a real reason for the order. Will a child arrangement order let me take my children abroad? If you are named as the parent a child lives with in a child arrangement order, you can take your children abroad on holiday for up to four weeks without needing the other parent’s agreement. However, even with a child arrangement order, you can’t move overseas with your children without the other parent’s agreement or a court order. If the other parent won’t agree to your plans to relocate overseas with the children, then you need to apply for a relocation order. Can you change a child arrangement order? A child arrangement order can be changed either by: Both parents record that they agree to the parenting change, or By applying back to the family court to vary the child arrangement order. For example, if you agree that the children should be returned home at 6 pm rather than the old time of 5 pm, the agreement to the change could be recorded in a text or email without incurring the expense of a court application. However, if your child wants to move to live with you and the other parent won’t agree, then you will need to apply to the court to vary the child arrangement order. You should not change the child arrangement order without taking advice, as you do not want to be accused of breaching the court order.   Child arrangement orders and child support A child arrangement order does not say if one parent should pay child support to the other parent. Child support is arranged by: Agreement between parents, or Assessment by the Child Maintenance Service, or In limited situations, the court can make a child support order. The general rule is that when a child spends an equal amount of time with both parents, neither parent is required to pay child support. That rule applies even when one parent earns more than the other parent under the Child Maintenance Service rules. Child support rules are complicated. It's best to speak to a family law solicitor about your entitlement to child support before reaching a financial settlement or agreeing to a parenting plan. You might also be interested in [related_posts] Shared care and child arrangement orders A child arrangement order can specify the parent the children will live with and set out the contact or spending time arrangements with the other parent. Alternatively, a child arrangement order can stipulate that parenting is shared and outline the details of the shared parenting arrangement. It does not necessarily have to be a 50/50 split each week. Ideally, a child arrangement order will also set out how holiday contact will be arranged. For example, parents may have alternate year Christmas Day contact, or school holiday contact will be divided equally on dates to be agreed upon between the parents. With a child arrangement order, can you make all important decisions regarding your child? If you have a child arrangement order, it does not allow you to make all the important decisions for your child and exclude the other parent from decision-making. Important decisions include: Choice of school. Whether to follow a religion and the extent of faith observances. Medical decisions. If both parents have parental responsibility for their child, they both have equal rights and responsibilities over major decision-making. Where parental responsibility is shared and both parents cannot reach an agreement over an aspect of parenting, then either parent can apply to the family court for a specific issue order or a prohibited steps order. The court will decide based on what the judge believes to be in the child’s best interests. Who can apply for a child arrangement order? It isn’t just parents who can apply to court for a child arrangement order. Others have an automatic right to apply for a child arrangement order, such as: Step-parents, or A relative if the child has been living with the relative for twelve months, or Anyone who has looked after the child for three years or more. In addition to those with an automatic right to apply for a child arrangement order, others can apply for permission to apply for a child arrangement order. This typically covers situations where a grandparent wants to obtain an order to have contact with a grandchild. How Evolve Family Law can help you with sorting out parenting arrangements If you need help with a child arrangement order application, our specialist children law solicitors are here to help you. We can assist you by: Representation in an application for a child arrangement order. Applying to vary a child arrangement order. Family mediation to help you reach a parenting agreement. Legal advice by offering legal services whilst you mediate with an alternative mediator. If you are divorcing amicably, consider our Amicable Divorce One Lawyer service.   For expert Divorce and Children Law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

If you have separated from your partner or you are mid-way through divorce proceedings, the most important thing to sort out is the childcare arrangements for your children. As parents, you need to decide whether your children will be co-parented, parallel parented, or if one parent will be the primary parent, looking after the children full-time, with the other parent spending time with them. Whatever child care arrangement you choose, a parenting plan can help both parents understand the ground rules and reduce the risk of disputes and court applications for child arrangement orders. For specialist family law advice on parenting plans and child arrangement orders, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.   Children law solicitor, Louise Halford, answers your frequently asked questions on parenting plans: What is a parenting plan? How do I agree on a parenting plan? What should be included in a parenting plan? How do you change a parenting plan?  What is a parenting plan? A parenting plan is a document created by parents to outline the parenting arrangements for a child or children following a separation or divorce. Parents can agree upon a parenting plan, or it can be made after children's court proceedings for a: Child arrangement order. Specific issue order. Prohibited steps order. Relocation order. How do I agree on a parenting plan? There are many ways that parents can agree on a parenting plan. You can use a template and prepare one yourself. Sometimes, that is a bad idea, as ‘going it alone’ may lead to arguing with your ex-partner and polarising your positions. With the help of a children's law solicitor or family mediator, you may be able to discuss child care arrangements and reach a compromise. At Evolve Family Law, our solicitors are committed to helping parents reach an agreement on post-separation parenting arrangements for their children without needing to apply to court for a child arrangement order. We can do this through: Solicitor negotiations. Family mediation with our family law mediator. Family arbitration. Using our amicable divorce one lawyer service. Sometimes, a parent has no choice but to apply to the court for a child arrangement order. For example, if one parent is not able to provide a satisfactory level of care or if they fear the other parent will take the child overseas to live. To understand your options, book a consultation with one of our specialist family law solicitors. What should go into a parenting plan? Every child and family is different, so your parenting plan should be tailored to your individual needs and those of your child. The fact that a family member, a neighbour, or a friend has a parenting plan should not influence what should go into your parenting plan. That is because your parenting plan needs to outline the best agreement for your family, taking into account your family's circumstances and personal preferences. For example, some parents share care of their children, with the children spending an equal amount of time with each parent. Other parents prefer their children to have one home base during the week and to share quality time on weekends and school holidays. Neither option is the ‘best’ or the right one, as so much depends on your family and each parent’s work commitments and the distance between the two homes. Every parenting plan should consider including what has been agreed on, such as: Home base– unless parenting is to be shared equally. Contact or shared parenting arrangements, such as the agreed-upon times for collection and return, drop-off points, and who will do the collections and returns. The practical points on shared care and regular contact, such as the washing and return of school uniforms, the supervision of homework or who is responsible for clothes and shoes shopping or haircuts. Whether phone contact is to take placebetween parent and child, and, if so, the frequency of phone calls so that they do not become too restrictive or intrusive for a parent with the care of a younger child. Special contact(child and parents' birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, as well as Christmas and religious observance days) and holidays. Best method of communication between parentsif contact or other arrangements need to be changed. For example, mobile, text or email. Communication may be necessary to cancel a visit or to agree on a coordinated approach to buying birthday presents. Who is responsible for medical and dental appointments, and communication about appointments, or to say if a child is ill or hospitalised. How will you deal with parent evenings at school, or attendance at school plays, or sports days? How will you address the introduction of new partners and their children, and the communication of the information to your ex-partner? This type of information is helpful so that the other parent does not find out about new relationships or remarriage through the child. Whilst you may not want to communicate this type of personal information or receive the news about your ex-partner’s new relationship, a significant reason for child care arrangement breakdown is non-communication over adult issues that also affect your child. Holiday plans– if you plan to go on holiday during your holiday contact time, is it agreed that you need to inform the other parent about your planned trips overseas or to a destination in the UK and give agreed key information such as flight times and numbers and hotel details and who else who will be accompanying the child on holiday. For example, a new partner and their children. Parenting plan changes– how you will agree to make changes to the parenting plan.   You might also be interested in [related_posts] How do you change a parenting plan? Children's wants and needs change over time. What are the appropriate parenting arrangements for a two-year-old who is not in school may be completely different from those for an eleven-year-old. By the time a child is in their teenage years, the arrangements will need to change again. Add to the mix that your circumstances may change with a new job, house, or relationship, and the arrival of additional children or stepchildren. Likewise, your ex-partner’s circumstances are likely to change, necessitating a review of the parenting plan. The fact that a parenting plan needs to be changed should not be a sign of defeat. For example, your five-year-old may struggle to cope with equal co-parenting, even if their cousin or other children in their class can manage it. Some children are just more adaptable than others. Alternatively, a parenting plan may need changing or tweaking because the only reason that a child is struggling with co-parenting or parallel parenting is different parenting regimes in the two households and two parenting styles that are confusing to the child because as soon as a child has got used to one routine they move to their other parent’s home. Agreeing to a change in the parenting plan A parenting plan can be changed by email, or you may prefer a meeting; alternatively, you can set up an annual review to discuss how things are working. The best thing is that if anything about the child care arrangements is ‘bugging you’, you do not let things fester, so they do not become acrimonious or even lead to children's law court proceedings. Instead, it is preferable to agree to review the parenting plan, perhaps with the help of a children's law solicitor or family mediator, before the arrangements break down or positions are polarised. It is also helpful to remember that as children get older, they will want to have a say in the parenting plan. For example, the ten o’clock Saturday contact start time may work for you, but your teenager may want to stay in bed until noon or go out with their mates on a Saturday night. The key point with a parenting plan is that it should evolve with you and your family. Just because something worked in the past doesn’t mean it's necessarily the best approach for your child or your ex-partner now. How can a children's law solicitor at Evolve Family Law help? If you are struggling to agree on child care arrangements after your separation or divorce, or you want to change your parenting plan and your ex-partner is resisting, Evolve Family Law can help you to reach an agreement or secure a child arrangement order. We are North West and Online Children Law Solicitors: For expert family law advice, call us now or complete our online enquiry form.

It's beyond frustrating when you know your child wants to live with you or spend longer with you but no one is listening. Our North West family law solicitors are asked whether parents can secretly record their children and use the video clip as evidence in court. If you need help with sorting out custody or contact our experts can advise you on a child arrangement order application and represent you. For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Should I record my child saying they want more contact? If you are separated and your ex-partner is adamant your child says they don’t want to spend more time with you it is tempting to prove your ex wrong. You may want to openly or covertly record your child’s views on their living arrangements. Here are five reasons why it’s not a good idea: Your ex-partner won't believe the recording Your former partner will say you manipulated your child Your child will be told you can't be trusted Your ex-partner may stop the contact you currently have Your ex will bring up the fact that you recorded your child if you make a child arrangement order application Can I secretly record my child and show the recording to the CAFCASS officer? Some parents are tempted to covertly record their children because the referral to CAFCASS seems slow. That’s because, according to CAFCASS statistics, between April 2023 and March 2024 the organisation received 39,661 children’s private law referrals. If you have applied for a child arrangement order and you are getting a bad vibe about what the CAFCASS Section 7 report may say then don’t make the situation worse by secretly recording your child saying that they want to live with you or spend more time with you. If you tell a CAFCASS officer that you have a recording they will want to disclose that to the court and the other parent. The recording may flag up safeguarding concerns. For example, was the child coerced into saying what they said or manipulated? The recording may also raise trust issues. Can you be trusted not to record what the other parent says to you or your meetings with the CAFCASS officer? Can I use a recording of my child as evidence in a child arrangement order application? Let's set the scene. The CAFCASS officer has filed a Section 7 report in your child arrangement order application. The CAFCASS officer says your son does not want extra contact with you. You don’t agree and have recorded your son saying they want to spend every minute of every weekend with you. It’s a cute video. When the CAFCASS officer gives evidence in court you plan to play her your covert recording. It reads like one of those TV court moments. What we can guarantee is: The judge will be unimpressed by your actions and The CAFCASS officer won't say in the witness box that the recommendations in their report are wrong Your actions may mean that you end up with less contact than the judge might otherwise have ordered. When can I use a covert recording of my child in a child arrangement order application? A covert recording can rarely be used in a child arrangement order, specific issue order, prohibited steps order or relocation order application. The reason why CAFCASS officers are asked to prepare a court report on your child’s wishes and feelings is so they can independently find out your child’s views on living arrangements and make recommendations. If you secretly record your child and ask to use the recording as evidence the judge will decide whether to allow you to do so. They make their decision based on previous case law and guidance issued by the Family Justice Council. If I can't use a recording, can I ask the judge to meet my child? It is rare for the judge to meet with a child because: It is thought that going to court is stressful for children The child doesn’t get to decide on the child arrangement order application The CAFCASS officer's job is to relay your child’s wishes to the court If the judge does decide to see an older child, the judge will normally meet them in a private room and not in the courtroom. Neither parent will be present at the meeting although the judge will relay the gist of what the young person said. [related_posts] If I can't use a recording of my child, how can I involve them in sorting out their living arrangements? Understandably parents and older children can get frustrated if they think they are not being listened to. Equally children of any age should not think that if they say what they want to do then that’s what will happen. Their preferred residence or contact plans may not be suitable for either parent or fit in around parental work schedules. There are lots of ways your child can get involved in working out the best post-separation living arrangements: Family discussions Family mediation Being made a party to the court proceedings Family discussions only work if you and your ex-partner can have a civil discussion. If not, it isn’t fair to involve your child in direct discussions. Family mediation can include an older child but the mediator must be qualified in this type of mediation. It can work well if you have a teen - although neither you nor your ex-partner may like what your child has to say. When child arrangement order proceedings are started, either parent can ask the judge to order that the child is joined as a party to the court application. It's rare for the court to agree to this request other than in complicated situations or where the court thinks that neither parent is saying what the child wants. Why should I not video-record what residence and contact arrangements my child wants? Covert video recordings may appear the simple solution when you and your ex can't agree on what your child wants but: Your child’s wishes are not the only factor in deciding living arrangements Court guidelines and caselaw are against it Recordings can be counter-productive You may be found to be manipulative and controlling Before you decide to record your child either openly or covertly speak to a children law solicitor so you understand the implications and what it could mean for you in your battle to get to see more of your son or daughter. For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

The Family Justice Council has issued new guidance for family courts in England and Wales on alienating behaviour and parental alienation. The new guidance follows an increase in accusations of alienating behaviour to counter allegations of domestic abuse in child arrangement order applications. Our North West family law solicitors can help if you are a separated or divorced parent and unable to agree on the parenting arrangements for your children. We can explain the court process and the non-court-based resolution options and advise you on the impact of allegations of domestic abuse and/or alienating behaviour on custody and contact arrangements. For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. The Family Justice Council guidance on alienating behaviour The 2024 Family Justice Council (FJC) guidance guides courts, family law professionals and parents on: The terminology to use where there are allegations of alienating behaviour The court process How the courts should consider allegations of domestic abuse and alienating behaviour The use of experts where allegations of alienating behaviour are made Listening to children and assessing their welfare needs Key points from the Family Justice Council guidance: There are three key points from the FJC guidance: Domestic abuse should not be equated with parental alienation A child’s reluctance to see a parent does not mean they have been subject to parental alienation without evidence and a court finding of alienating behaviour Findings of alienating behaviour will be rare New terminology from the Family Justice Council guidance on alienating behaviour The guidance suggests the use of the following terminology by courts and family law professionals: Attachment, affinity and alignment (AAA) – why children may not want to spend time with one parent or reject a parent. These reasons are not due to psychological manipulation by a parent or alienating behaviour but just a child’s emotional response to their experience of being parented Appropriate justified rejection (AJR) – where a child not wanting to spend time with one parent is considered an understandable response to the parent’s behaviour. The behaviour could be directed to the child or other parent. For example, if the child has witnessed domestic abuse towards one parent Alienating Behaviours (AB) – psychologically manipulative behaviours (whether intentional or not) by a parent towards a child that results in the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with the parent Protective Behaviours (PB) – behaviour by a parent to protect the child from exposure to abuse by the other parent, or from suffering harm or additional harm because of the other parent’s abuse. For example, if a parent has unresolved anger management or addiction issues that affect their parenting Reluctance, resistance or refusal (RRR) – behaviours by a child over contact and their relationship with a parent and the reasons for the reluctance, resistance or refusal to see one parent may be due to a variety of potential causes [related_posts] Making allegations of alienating behaviour in child arrangement order proceedings The new FJC guidance does not stop allegations of alienating behaviour being made by a parent unable to see their child or where they only have limited contact. However, the guidance does try to stop the practice of an allegation of alienating behaviour being made in child arrangement order applications where an accusation of domestic abuse has been made as an almost automatic counter to the initial allegation. If a parent has engaged in alienating behaviour the person alleging the alienating behaviour needs to show that: The child is reluctant, resisting or refusing to engage in a relationship with you The child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal is related to the other parent's actions. If the child doesn’t want to see you for different reasons, then this is either called ‘’appropriate justified rejection’’ (AJR) or down to ‘’alignment, affinity or attachment’’ (AAA) The other parent has engaged in behaviours that have directly or indirectly impacted on the child, leading to the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to engage in a relationship with you If you think your child has been encouraged to reject you and to refuse contact with you it is important to say this at the outset of your child arrangement order application. This means the court can: Consider which type of family court judge should decide your child arrangement order application The type of involvement and report needed from CAFCASS If there is a need for a separate finding of fact hearing and other case management issues The need for expert evidence The later you raise these allegations in the court process the harder you may find it to get the court to conclude that it is necessary and proportionate to fully investigate your concerns. Responding to allegations of alienating behaviour in child arrangement order applications If you are a parent accused of alienating behaviour it’s important to talk to a specialist family law solicitor who can explain the court process, your non-court resolution options and the best strategy to deal with the accusations of alienating behaviour. This strategy will depend on whether you are the parent of a stroppy teenager who doesn’t want to spend much time with either parent or a clingy two-year-old who likes their routine and home comforts or a football/ballet-mad eight-year-old who doesn’t want to miss out on matches or performances. Whatever your family circumstances or child’s age our children lawyers can help you if you are a separated or divorced parent unable to agree on the parenting arrangements for your children and in a dispute over the reasons why a child does not want to spend time with one parent. For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

The decision to separate and start divorce proceedings or end a civil partnership is a difficult one for any couple. If you are an LGBTQIA+ couple there are particular challenges when separating or getting divorced. For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Choosing the right family lawyer Your family lawyer needs empathy and to understand the challenges you have faced as an LGBTQIA+ couple and during your separation as well as your concerns and fears. Being a red-hot family lawyer is a necessity and having a good sense of humour and ‘getting you’ and what you are going through is a real advantage. At Evolve Family Law we encourage all our potential clients to give us a call to see how we can help you. We are all specialists in family and private client law and pride ourselves on our friendly approach to advising on LGBTQIA+ separation and divorce. LGBTQIA+ separation If you are separating from your partner finding somewhere else to live may be a challenge for you. It may not be possible or comfortable for you to camp out with mum or dad and all your friends may be mutual ones, loath to take sides. Finding somewhere to rent may be tough on a single salary, especially in an area where you feel safe. You may want to stay at the family home but are unsure if you can take the mortgage over in your name. Alternatively, your ex may have kicked you out and won't let you return to live at the property. You may be wary about anyone believing that you have been subject to domestic abuse if it was psychological, financial or involved coercive control. Our family lawyers can advise you about your rights to stay in the family home, interim spousal maintenance (if you are married or in a civil partnership), and injunction remedies if you were subjected to domestic abuse in your relationship. LGBTQIA+ divorce    With the introduction of no-fault divorce ending a civil partnership or getting divorced has got that bit easier as you no longer have to have been separated for at least 2 years and nor do you have to come up with ways in which your spouse has behaved unreasonably before you can start divorce proceedings. Our divorce solicitors can either start the divorce proceedings for you as the sole divorce applicant or, if it is an amicable separation, we can act for both of you and file a joint divorce application. LGBTQIA+ parenting    Whilst children are the priority in every relationship, it is often the case that if you are an LGBTQIA+ couple you may have had a hard journey to parenthood with IVF, surrogacy or adoption struggles. The preciousness of your children can make it hard to accept that parenting after separation should be shared, especially if one of you is the biological parent or the one who pushed to have children. If only one of you is biologically related to your child, then this is a sensitive issue but our family lawyers can help you understand who has parental responsibility for your child. If your child was born while you were in a civil partnership or marriage you will both have parental responsibility. In other scenarios, you may both have parental responsibility through a surrogacy parental order, adoption order, or parental responsibility order. Our family solicitors can advise if you both have parental responsibility and the implications if one of you doesn’t have parental responsibility. It does not mean you have no redress as you can apply to the family court for permission to apply for a child arrangement order so you can secure a contact order or an order that the child lives with you. You may also have the complexity of children from previous relationships. Your ex-partner may want to maintain an ongoing relationship with their stepchildren whilst you think that the child is busy enough splitting their time between you and their other biological parent. Again, there are legal solutions if you are not able to reach a parenting agreement. At Evolve Family Law we specialise in children law and can advise on parenting plans to help you reach an agreement on residence and contact. If you cannot reach an agreement with your ex-partner, we can help you apply for or respond to a child arrangement order application. LGBTQIA+ financial settlements after separation.     Whatever the nature of your relationship you both need a fair financial settlement after you split up. If you are married or in a civil partnership you have more family law rights than if you are in an unmarried relationship. For example, if you are in a cohabiting relationship, you have no right to spousal maintenance or a pension sharing order, and your claims on the family home or family business are limited to property law rights or business law rights. However, if you are a cohabitee or former cohabitee you may still have a property claim on the family home even if it is owned in the sole name of your former partner. If you are married or in a civil partnership the law on how assets are divided is based on need rather than the strict application of property or corporate law. The legal position and your options may be different again if you are caring for a dependent child. Our financial settlement solicitors can talk through your situation and what you want and need to achieve from your financial settlement. We can then negotiate hard to get you a fair financial settlement or, where necessary, apply to the family court to get you a court order that reflects your rights as a husband, wife, civil partner or former cohabitee. [related_posts] LGBTQIA+ Wills and private client advice LGBTQIA+ couples who are not married don’t always realise the importance of Wills whilst they are in a relationship. It is equally important, if you are married, in a civil partnership or former cohabitees, that you review your Will and Lasting Power of Attorney when you are separating from your partner. For expert advice on LGBTQIA+ separation and divorce call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.