Who Has Custody of a Child When the Parents Are Not Married?
Child custody and contact is a tricky topic whatever the legal status of the parents of a child. For example, the parents could be unmarried and have never lived together, be a former cohabiting couple, married or divorced or in a civil partnership. In this blog we look at who has custody of a child when the parents aren’t married.
Who has custody of a child?
UK children law doesn’t give a parent custody of their child automatically by virtue of being a parent, whether you are an unmarried or married parent. However, if custody is in dispute, either parent can apply to court for a child arrangements order.
A child arrangements order is a bit like the old custody and contact orders as a child arrangements order sets out the person the child should live with and the contact arrangements with the other parent or other extended family members.
A child arrangements order can be very flexible and can say that there should be equal or shared parenting or, at the other extreme, the court order can say that one parent should have no contact or only indirect or supervised contact with the child.
When making a child arrangements order the court will make an order that the family law judge thinks is in your child’s best interests. The judge will consider arrange of factors when making his or her decision. These factors are known as ‘the welfare checklist’. The checklist includes looking at your child’s wishes and feelings in light of your child’s age and understanding as well as assessing how capable each parent is of meeting your child’s physical and emotional needs.
When considering the welfare checklist and what specific child arrangements order to make the court won't consider the legal status of the parent’s relationship as a very relevant factor in the decision making process. That is because the test for what child arrangements order to make, and who should get custody, is based on what is in your child’s best interests rather than the status of the parent’s relationship.
In today’s age, family judges are of the view that whether you are a married mother or father or unmarried the issue for the court to determine is what custody and contact order best meets a child’s needs. A mother and father may have been in an unmarried relationship for many years and whilst you may think that in that scenario the mother will have more ‘’rights’’ over their child a judge will make a child arrangements order, setting out the custody and contact, that he or she thinks will meet the needs of the child. For example, if the father is a loving father who has always enjoyed a close relationship with the child a shared care order may be appropriate. On the other hand, if one parent has either been physically or emotionally abusive towards the child then this would be a reason to give custody of the child to the other parent and to stop or limit the contact to the other parent.
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When it comes to children law the court looks at things from the perspective of what is best for the child and in the child’s interests. That consideration does not pay a lot of heed to whether you are married or unmarried or in a civil partnership but instead focusses on your child and their characteristics and needs. Accordingly, in the court’s eyes, it is far more important that a parent wants and is able to commit to a long term relationship with their child after a parental separation than the legal status of the parental relationship.
If you are a parent engaged in a custody or contact dispute then children law solicitors will recommend that you don’t focus on the status of your relationship with the other parent and instead focus on your child’s needs and best interests. That way the court is far more likely to be persuaded to make the type of child arrangements order that you are seeking.
How can Evolve Family Law help?
At Evolve Family Law we recognise that every family is different and we therefore welcome calls to discuss how we can help your family, whether it is an application for a parental responsibility order or a child arrangements order or to discuss the potential legal costs of going to court for a child custody order. Call us or complete our online enquiry form . We can also set up a video conference, skype or telephone appointment so you can speak to an experienced Cheshire children law solicitor from anywhere in the world.
Louise Halford
Jan 21, 2021
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4 minute read
How Much Does it Cost to go to Court for Child Custody in the UK?
We all know that we can't put a price on our children and their happiness but before you instruct a children and family law solicitor to go to court for a child arrangements order it is understandable that you want to know the answer to the question ‘’How much does it cost to go to court for child custody UK?’’ In this blog we look at UK child custody cases and legal fees.
How much does it cost to go to court for child custody?
At Evolve Family Law when a parent asks us how much it will cost to go to court for a child custody order we take a step back and ask the right questions to make sure that court proceedings are necessary as we don’t believe that there is any point in spending money on child custody legal fees if you don’t need to do so.
For example, sometimes alternative options are both cheaper and quicker than a child custody application, such as a strongly worded solicitor’s letter, legal support and family mediation or counselling. In other family scenarios, a court application for a child arrangements order may not be justified if your child is nearly sixteen or if the child custody arrangements are currently agreed but you want a child custody or contact order ‘’just in case’’.
You may question why at Evolve Family Law we won't push or encourage you to start child custody proceedings if we don’t think that is the best option for you and your child. We won't advise you to start child custody proceedings if we think there is a better or more effective solution even though we lose out in legal fees. That’s because we are committed to listening to you and to why you want to apply for child custody orders whilst at the same time being transparent about legal fees and whether we think the costs are necessary or justified.
Evolve Family Law were one of the first firms of solicitors to publish their fees online as we believe that it is important to be transparent and upfront about legal fees so you know what to expect and to help you budget for costs. The Evolve Family Law price guide can be accessed here.
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Fixed fees and child custody applications
As Cheshire and North Manchester children solicitors we are often asked why fixed fees are offered for divorce proceedings or for the drafting of a financial court order as part of a divorce financial settlement but not for an application for a child arrangements order or for a child custody application.
Whilst we publish hourly rates for our specialist children lawyers and support staff, we encourage you to call us to discuss potential costs of going to court for child custody. That’s because , unlike with divorce proceedings or drafting a financial court order, there are so many variables that we need to speak to you about your planned application and family circumstances before we can give you realistic cost information.
In some situations the cost of a solicitor letter, legal support during family mediation or even going to court for a child arrangements order may be less than you might think but in other scenarios the costs may be a lot higher and the ethos at Evolve Family Law is to explain about the potential court complexities and child custody court costs from the outset.
Our children lawyers are asked what makes a child custody case complex. Here are some examples of complicated child arrangements order applications:
Serious allegations of physical, emotional or sexual abuse that will require significant investigation, the potential instruction of child experts, and a series of court hearings including what is referred to as a ‘’finding of fact hearing’’ for the family law judge to determine and make findings on the allegations of abuse. There may then be a second substantive hearing , referred to as a ‘’welfare hearing’’ , for the family law judge to determine what child arrangements order should be made
Family situations involving parental alienation where one parent is wholly opposed to the children having contact with the other parent or where there has been a long history of previous proceedings and failure to comply with court orders
Allegations of domestic violence against a parent and the parent who is alleging that domestic abuse has taken place maintains that it isn’t safe for the children to see or live with their other parent. In some court proceedings involving serious allegations of domestic violence a judge may order a finding of fact hearing
Contested jurisdiction where one parent maintains that the children are not habitually resident in the UK and the proceedings should take place overseas or where there are allegations of parental child abduction of the children to the UK
Children cases where there are special circumstances such as a local authority or extended family members (such as grandparents) intervening in the court proceedings.
The list above isn’t exhaustive but just sets out some examples of how some child custody cases can be a lot more complicated and involve court appointed experts and a series of directions and substantive court hearings. In other family scenarios, you may be able to reach an agreement over child custody and contact arrangement at the first or second hearing of your court application, without the need to prepare statements, instruct experts or attend a contested court hearing.
How can Evolve Family Law help?
As every family is different, at Evolve Family Law we welcome calls to discuss the potential legal costs of going to court for a child custody order. Call us or complete our online enquiry form . We can also set up a video conference, skype or telephone appointments.
Louise Halford
Oct 02, 2020
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5 minute read
Can I Stop Child Contact if my Ex is an Alcoholic?
As specialist children law solicitors we are asked if the family court will order that a husband or wife or an ex-partner cannot have contact with their child because of parental alcohol addiction. There isn’t a yes or no answer as in every case the court will look at what is in the best interests of the child. In this blog we look at the topic of alcohol addiction in children law proceedings.
Can alcoholism stop child contact?
Children solicitors will tell you that it is too broad a question to ask ‘’can alcoholism stop child contact?’’ as so much depends on:
Whether the alcoholism has an effect on the parent’s behaviour towards the child or the other parent
The age of the child
The effect (short and long term) of not having an ongoing relationship with a parent
The measures that could be put in place to make contact safe and rewarding for the child
The help available for the child and parents.
When a children law solicitor is asked about alcoholism and child contact they will normally want to know how one parent’s alcohol use affects their daily life and their behaviour towards their child. That is because there are many people with ‘’functioning alcoholism’’ who are able to work and enjoy relationships whereas sadly that isn’t the case for others.
That is why it is so important that children law solicitors take the time to discuss your particular family circumstances and drill down to what it is about the alcohol usage that makes you want to stop child contact.
A case study of how alcohol affects child contact
One mother whose ex-husband was a highly successful business owner and functioning alcoholic wanted to stop contact between her two teenage sons and their father because of his alcoholism.
What was actually her ‘’drilled down ‘’ cause of concern was her ex-husband insisting that he was ok to drive the children and her fears for their safety. From the mother’s perspective, it was good that her children continued to see their dad so that they knew he was all right and that they didn’t worry about him or hold him on a pedestal because she had stopped contact.
In this mother’s case the best thing to do was to listen to her and help her find the right solution for her children. She knew, from past experience, that as her husband didn’t want to deal with his functioning alcoholism, no amount of requests from her would make him see a counsellor or get help. Likewise, after discussion and legal advice, she knew that one of her teenage sons would blame her if contact stopped whereas the other one found contact embarrassing and wasn’t bothered about going.
Some children law solicitors see an application for a child arrangements order or a prohibited steps order to stop contact as the answer to all problems over contact. It isn’t necessarily the solution. In the mother’s case, after she had taken legal advice on her options, she had the experience to realise that if she applied for a child arrangements order the father would deny his alcoholism and refuse to take part in any testing ordered by the court or psychological assessment or any recommended follow up treatment or support.
Whilst the court has the power to order tests and assessments in child arrangements order applications, the court cannot make a parent undergo alcohol or substance testing or assessment if the parent refuses to do so. All the court can do is draw inferences from a parent’s unwillingness to participate in testing or assessment.
The court’s ability to make inferences is often a powerful motivator in a parent’s willingness to participate in testing and assessment. That is because of the parent’s belief that the testing results should be better for them than inferences based on a lack of cooperation after the other parent has raised sufficient concerns for the court to be willing to sanction testing or assessment.
When it comes to alcoholism and child contact, an application for a child arrangements order can bring about a lot of change as the court arena can make parents realise just how seriously the other parent views their issue with alcohol. In other families compromise can be the better option for the family.
So you may wonder how the mother of the two teenage boys resolved her dilemma over her ex-husband’s alcoholism and her fears for her teenage sons travelling in a car driven by their father. She looked at what was best for her sons and concluded that maintaining a relationship with their father was the best option for them. Whilst he was unreliable as a father and let the children down he was nonetheless their father and the youngest would blame her, rather than his father’s alcoholism, for the lack of contact.
The mother set about problem solving and instead of the boys going to visit their dad at his home, where there was alcohol and films she didn’t approve of, contact became centred on football matches and she asked her brother in law and the children’s uncle to help provide support and a safe means of transport.
Did the solution work? It certainly wasn’t without its difficulties and it put the teenagers in a position of reporting if there were issues. This was not something the mother felt very comfortable about but she concluded, on balance, that it was the right thing to do even if on occasion she was used as a taxi service and the boys were let down when their father didn’t show up.
Would the child contact solutions have been different for another parent? As children law solicitors we would say yes. For example:
If the parent’s alcoholism was more recent in nature and the parent was more likely to agree to testing and assessment as part of a child arrangements order application
The parent’s behaviour, fuelled by their alcoholism, made it dangerous for the other parent to come into contact with them and meant that they needed injunction orders to protect themselves
The child wasn’t old enough to help safeguard themselves. In that scenario contact fully supported by grandparents or taking place within a contact centre may be the best option for the child
The child was of an age to say that they didn’t want to see their parent and the other parent fears that forcing them to have contact isn’t actually best for the child. Sometimes family counselling is one way forward if a child and parent will agree to this so an older child can explain , in a safe and neutral setting, how they feel and how not turning up for pre-arranged contact or any other effects of the alcohol addiction makes the child feel.
Recreational use, binge drinking, dependence or alcohol addiction
Children law solicitors will tell you that one of the biggest issues in trying to resolve parenting and childcare arrangements when there are alcohol or substance use concerns is the parent’s differing perception of the issue.
Many dedicated and caring parents say that they are ‘’recreational users’’ of substances or over imbibe and binge drink at the weekends. Should that affect their contact with their child? It all depends on the parenting arrangement as, for example. alternate weekend contact and midweek contact may meet the child’s needs and not affect the parent’s lifestyle choices. It can sometimes be hard for the other parent to accept that such contact could be in a child’s best interests when they have lived full time with the parent’s binge drinking behaviour.
It is equally hard when one parent believes that the other is alcohol dependent and the other disputes it. Sometimes practical, non-judgemental examples of how a child feels can help make contact work, for example, saying how the child feels if the parent doesn’t turn up for contact or arrives late.
If you think that your ex-partner is alcohol dependent or their substance misuse is affecting the quality of their contact then you can ask the court to:
Make a child arrangements order to restrict contact, for example, so contact takes place at a contact centre or is supervised by a family member
Make a child arrangements order subject to conditions so that the parent must comply with conditions such as not drinking for twenty four hours before a contact visit
Stop direct contact between parent and child. Indirect contact such as letters, cards, presents, phone calls and Skype may all be appropriate depending on their content and whether the child gets very distressed if the parent makes promises about Skype calls but then forgets.
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Ideally, talk of starting an application for a child arrangements order can make a parent realise just how worried the other parent is and even if they don’t see their drinking as a problem they will try to modify their behaviour and drinking around contact times.
What to do next?
If you are worried about your child because you think that your former partner’s alcohol or substance use is affecting their relationship and contact is having an adverse effect on your child then before you stop or change contact it is best to take legal advice from a children law solicitor and professional advice. Speaking to someone else can help you come to a balanced view on whether an application for a child arrangements order is in your child’s best interests and your alternative options.
If you are a parent who has had allegations of drug or alcohol abuse made against you then the best advice is to take legal advice. That is because the first thing many parents do is deny there is a problem. Sometimes there isn’t a problem. However, if there is an issue with alcohol consumption, then denying that the problem exists makes it more likely that the court will make a child arrangements order that you are unhappy with whereas that outcome can potentially be avoided through cooperation and representation.
Cheshire Children Law Solicitors
For legal help with children law and child care arrangements where there are allegations of alcohol misuse please call us or contact us online.
Louise Halford
May 11, 2020
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9 minute read
Coronavirus and Child Contact
Update 24th March 2020:
In UK government guidance published 24 March, it states:
Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents’ homes
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others
Whilst parents may wish or need to adapt contact arrangements, they can, and should still continue for children. These are frightening times for children and maintaining normality will hopefully help quell their fears. Now, more than ever, parents should put aside their differences and co-operate and act in their children’s best interest at all times.
This advice should be read in conjunction with the following Government advice on what to do if someone in your household becomes unwell:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection
Parents want to protect their child and that is particularly true when it comes to the coronavirus. It is hard enough coping with the worries of looking after your children and safeguarding them in normal times but in a pandemic the job of being a parent has just got so much harder. That is the case whether you are living with your partner, separated or divorced. In this blog we look at the question of coronavirus and child contact after a separation or divorce.
Online children law solicitors
Evolve Family Law are based in Cheshire and Manchester but offer a full range of online children law services with appointments available by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help with child custody and contact please contact us.
Stopping Child Contact Because of Coronavirus
We are receiving a high number of enquiries asking us whether child arrangements can continue now the government has restricted our movements. We are getting a real sense that the vast majority of these parents aren’t wanting to stop contact to upset their ex-partner or trying to use Covid-19 as an excuse to stop contact visits that they don’t like, but because they genuinely fear for their children and their families. At the moment the advice from the government agency, CAFCASS, is to continue contact arrangements as normal as CAFCASS thinks it is in the best interests of children to maintain contact so the children keep to a familiar routine, even if they are missing out on going to school.
Whilst some may say that statistically children should be OK even if they get the coronavirus that doesn’t ease parent’s anxiety and fears that children going back and forth between households could increase the risk of spreading infection to a member of your family who is in a high risk group with an underlying health condition and is therefore more vulnerable to Covid-19.
There is also a concern being expressed by parents about what might happen if a child is on a contact visit and the other parent falls ill and the family has to self-isolate or if the country goes into lock down and children can't travel back to you.
One of the issues facing separated or divorced parents is that not everyone is as worried about Covid-19 as some are. That can create feelings of tension and acrimony between parents who are living together with their children, let alone separated or divorced parents where there may already be an element of mistrust or a history of communication problems.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that if you want to stop contact because of the coronavirus and high risk issues then whether you can legally do so will depend on whether there is an existing child arrangements order in place and what it says. If you have an existing child arrangements order and you don’t know if you can stop contact or not then it is best to take legal advice.
Coronavirus and Child Arrangements Orders
If you have a child arrangements order in place that sets out the parenting arrangements for your child then if you stop contact you are likely to be in breach of the court order. Your ex-partner could apply to enforce the child arrangements order and you could apply to vary the child arrangements order.
If you are following government advice to self-isolate because a member of your family is unwell then your ex should not apply to enforce an order and you should not need to apply to vary the child arrangements order because of your self-isolation. However, if it isn’t a self-isolation or lockdown situation, but you want to change or stop contact arrangements because of the coronavirus and any high risk concerns, you may need to look at what your child arrangements order says and your ex –partner may want to apply for a child arrangements order so contact isn’t stopped.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that the use of children court proceedings should always be the ‘last resort’ and it is best to try to negotiate a change in a child arrangements by agreement.
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Sorting out contact during the coronavirus outbreak
It is all very well for children law solicitors to talk about trying to reach an agreement about stopping or changing contact arrangements but many parents say that it is far harder to do that in reality. That is certainly true but sometimes it takes a children law solicitor to cut through the parental history of mistrust and get to the real issues.
In these unprecedented times it is inevitable that parents will want to protect their children and to ‘wrap them up in cotton wool’. What parent wouldn't? However it is important for parents to take a step back and think that the coronavirus pandemic won't be with us for ever and that when the UK comes out of the current crisis you still want to be on speaking terms with your ex-partner or at least be able to communicate with them over the parenting arrangements.
Therefore, if you are contemplating stopping or changing contact Cheshire children law solicitors recommend that you:
Think about the reasons why you want to stop or change contact. Can contact still take place through reducing risks , for example , by you driving the children to contact rather than older children or the other parent using public transport to get to your ex-partner’s house or can you change the contact drop off point
Consider if you can agree consistent rules on what the children can do during their time with the other parent. That way one parent isn’t doing all the home schooling and enforcing a curfew and activity restrictions for older children whilst the other parent carries on as normal
Think about the alternatives to direct contact, such as facetime or Skype or phone. Bed time stories by facetime maybe something small children would love and the offer of such contact might reassure your ex that you aren’t trying to cut them out, but you want they want; happy and healthy children
Take legal advice as sometimes an experienced children law solicitor can help you find resolutions that you had not thought about or help you with the words to help your ex understand why you are so particularly worried about coronavirus and child contact. It can undoubtedly be hard for an ex-partner to hear that you want to stop or reduce contact when they and the children haven’t done ‘anything wrong’ and seeing the children is helping them get through the coronavirus outbreak. However, this is a time when a children law solicitor can help you both focus on what is best for the children, whether that is getting you help with your fears, or helping your ex-partner to understand any particular high risk issues.
Online Children Law Solicitors
Evolve Family Law provide a full range of online children law services with appointments available with specialist children law solicitors by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help call us or contact us online
Louise Halford
Mar 23, 2020
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7 minute read
What is a Specific Issue Order?
When parents cannot agree over the arrangements for their children after separation or divorce, they do not necessarily need to apply for custody or a child arrangements order. Instead, their legal remedy may be an application under the Children Act for a specific issue order.
What is a Specific Issue Order?
A specific issue order is an order made by a judge of the family court. The order decides an issue that is in dispute in connection with any aspect of the exercise of parental responsibility for a child.
It is hard to explain what a specific issue order is and what it is used for without using examples of situations where parents have applied to court for specific issue orders.
Examples of Specific Issue Orders
A family court judge can decide on almost any aspect of parental responsibility if a parent applies for a specific issue order.
The most frequent types of specific issue order applications are about:
Whether a child should be educated privately or state educated;
The specific choice of private school or nursery. To some parents a school’s education and examination record is the key factor in choice of school. However, to the other parent, the distance from home or the quality of pastoral care or the fact that they went to a particular school are the reasons why they are at loggerheads with the other parent over the choice of school;
Whether a child should observe a particular religion and attend religious ceremonies or go to a religious school;
Whether a child should follow a gluten free or meat free vegan or vegetarian diet ;
Whether a child should be baptised or circumcised ;
Whether a child should be allowed to change gender;
Whether a child should be immunised;
Whether a child should be given a new first name or surname ;
Whether a child should go to a family event, such as a second wedding or act as bridesmaid or pageboy.
There are many other specific issue order topics. That is because the ‘’burning issue’’ in every family or separated family is always different. Therefore specific issue order applications are as individual as the families who struggle to agree on parenting decisions.
How Do You Agree a Specific Issue?
The best children law solicitors will not just give you the option of applying to court for a specific issue order from a family judge. That is because there are alternative options to making an application to court for a specific issue order. For example, you could:
Have direct discussions ; with the help of a solicitor in the background;
Go to a round table solicitor meeting ;
Attend family mediation ;
Use family arbitration;
Attend family counselling.
In appropriate family cases, mediation or counselling sessions can involve the child if the child is old enough to express an opinion and the child’s parents and professionals think that involving the child in the discussion is right for the child.
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Deciding a Specific Issue Order Application
The way a judge decides a specific issue order application is no different to how a judge decides on a child arrangements order application. That is because the judge has to consider and apply the same welfare criteria to make a decision.
A judge decides a specific issue order application based on what the judge believes is in the child’s best interests. The judge must consider a number of statutory factors (known as the welfare checklist) when making court decisions about children.
The Children Act 1989 welfare checklist lists the factors that the judge considers, including:
The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned, in light of his or her age and understanding; and
The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs; and
The likely effect on the child of any change in his/her circumstances; and
The child’s age, sex, background and any characteristics the court considers relevant; and
Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering; and
How capable each of the parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant is of meeting the child’s needs; and
The range of powers available to the court.
The judge will carry out an assessment, of what they believe to be best for the child after considering the evidence and the welfare checklist.
It is not unusual for parents who are living together or who are separated to fall out over a specific issue relating to the parenting of their child , for example one parent not wanting the child to meet the new partner of their former spouse. There is often no one right or wrong answer when it comes to a specific issue order, as in most cases both parents think their standpoint is in their child’s best interests.
If you cannot reach an agreement over a parenting decision then the best option is to take some legal advice so you know where you stand legally and whether a specific issue order is a reasonable step to take in the interests of your child.
For legal help with any aspect of children law please contact our expert children lawyers today
Louise Halford
Nov 18, 2019
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5 minute read
How Much Will a Child Custody Case Cost?
We all know that children are priceless and that we will do anything for our kids. However when a couple decide to separate or divorce a lot of emotional energy and money can be spent on sorting out who has custody of the children or, for example, if the children should be allowed to move abroad with one parent or how much access or contact time one parent should enjoy with the children.
Children Court Proceedings and Cost Orders
Many parents think that if they get custody of their child (called a child arrangements order ) or get the type of access they asked for or if a judge stops a child moving abroad to live with one parent then as they have ‘’won ‘’ the court case, the court will make a costs order in their favour.
Cheshire children law solicitors will tell you that it is very rare for a court deciding a children case to make an order for costs. The normal costs rule in children law proceedings is that ‘’no order for costs’’ will be made. That means each parent has to pay his or her own legal fees.
The court in children court proceedings does have the power to make costs orders. However, a family judge will only consider making a costs order in cases where the conduct of a party has been reprehensible or unreasonable. That is a pretty high bar. That is why most children law solicitors advise, at the outset of court proceedings, that the parent should assume that they will not get the court to make a costs order in their favour.
Costs Orders and Unreasonable Behaviour
A recent example of where the family court was persuaded to make a cost order in child abduction proceedings is the case of Re J (Children).
The background to the court case was that a mother applied for court permission to take her children to Ukraine for the purpose of a holiday. The children did not return to the UK at the end of their holiday. The father started court proceedings for the return of the children and a number of court orders were made. They were not complied with.
The judge made a cost order against the children’s mother and maternal grandfather. This was because the judge thought the mother had duped the father and the court and had never planned to return the children to the UK after the court gave her permission to take the children on holiday.
The maternal family appealed against the cost order but the appeal court decided that as court orders ordering the return of the children to the UK had been flouted it was appropriate to depart from the usual rule in children law proceedings that both parents pay their own legal fees.
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Children Court Proceedings and Costs
Although the father, in the case of Re J, was successful in securing a costs order Cheshire children law solicitors still urge parents contemplating starting court proceedings to go ahead on the basis that the overwhelming likelihood is that each parent will pay their own legal costs.
That is why it is vital that parents choose their children law solicitor with care to make sure that not only is the solicitor an expert in children law but they explain fully the court options and the potential costs involve and provide a transparent price guide .
For assistance with your child custody and contact case please contact us.
Louise Halford
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3 minute read
Top Tips on How to Deal With Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is one of those topics that parents do not like to talk about. Many parents feel embarrassed if they are prevented from seeing their child after a separation or divorce. Parents worry that others will judge them, assuming that they must be at fault if they cannot see their children.
Lots of people assume that if parental alienation has taken place the parent who is not having contact with the children must have done something ‘’bad’’. However, the definition of parental alienation is one parent turning the mind of a child against the other parent and the child’s negative view of the parent not being justified by any parental behaviour but because of the deliberate or unintentional psychological manipulation of the child.
Top tips on how to deal with parental alienation
Sometimes it is obvious to everyone involved with a child, from family to schoolteachers and health professionals, that parental alienation is taking place. In other families, the process is more subtle but just as insidious.
For parents who fear parental alienation is taking place there are some tips on how to deal with parental alienation and maintain a relationship with your child.
As a specialist Cheshire children solicitor who advises parents in high conflict court cases, I recommend that you:
Take legal advice quickly
If you think, your ex-partner or former husband or wife is talking inappropriately in front of your child and that is creating tension in the relationship between you and your child it is important to act quickly. If you wait then the situation may get to the stage that the child is so alienated that they say that they do not want to have contact with you.
If you are not able to speak to your former partner direct then you could try speaking to a family member or you could suggest a referral to family mediation or to family counselling. If those options do not solve the difficulties, do not delay in taking legal advice and looking at the option of applying for a child arrangements order.
If you delay in taking action then if the parental alienation behaviour continues it will become harder to resolve the situation and repair the psychological damage experienced by your child.
Do not blame the child
It is normal to think ‘’my daughter is behaving just like her mother’’ or to say ‘’ the apple does not fall far from the tree’’. When a child is playing up or refusing to speak to or see you, it is easy to transfer your frustration with the situation onto the child. After all, why can't your child stand up for themselves and demand more contact with you or why can't they at least look cheerful when they do see you. As frustrating as it is, blaming a child or showing your exasperation with the situation is likely to make the situation worse.
Do not blame the parent
When you get frustrated about parental alienation, it is easy to think that the solution is to tell your side of the story. In the process, you are likely to denigrate the other parent, and that is likely to make your child more insecure and anxious, and less inclined to have contact.
Do not walk away
The statistics of how many parents lose contact with their children after a separation or divorce is appalling. Many of those cases do not involve parental alienation but nonetheless it is sometimes easy to think that your child would be ‘’better off’’ without you.
Most children law professionals believe that a child needs and deserves a loving relationship with both parents, even if that has to be achieved through the making of a child arrangements order.
Find time for other things in your life
If you experience parental alienation, it is easy to obsess on your ex-partner and their behaviour. By doing that you can play into their hands. It is important that you find time to enjoy other aspects of your life during any children court proceedings.
What will the court do if it thinks that parental alienation has taken place?
If you make an application for a child arrangements order the court will carefully consider whether contact is in your child’s best interests. If a child is saying that they do not want contact because of parental alienation, the court can take some proactive steps to try to help you build a relationship with your child. In extreme situations, where a judge finds that the parental alienation has caused emotional harm and that the primary carer dos not understand the damage created by their actions, the judge can make an order to change the primary carer of the child.
How can Evolve Family Law help you?
Evolve Family Law is a niche family law firm with offices in Cheshire and Whitefield, Manchester. Evolve Family Law solicitors provide advice on all aspects of family law. Our solicitors at Evolve are specialists in children or family finance law.
Whatever your children or family law concern, Louise Halford and the children law team at Evolve Family Law solicitors will work with you to help you reach a solution.
To contact Louise Halford call her on +44 (0) 1477 464020 or email her at louise@evolvefamilylaw.co.uk
Louise Halford
Oct 14, 2019
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5 minute read
A Guide To Holidays Abroad With Children After Separation Or Divorce
Most of us are gearing up to the school summer holidays, closely followed by the annual holiday to the sun with the children. Whilst the majority of us will not forget the children’s swimsuits or sun screen as we are rushing off to the airport , many separated or divorced parents will forget the ‘’holiday rules’’ when setting off on holiday with their children . Therefore, Evolve Family Law have put together this short guide to holidays abroad with children after separation or divorce.
A Guide To Holidays Abroad With Children After Separation Or Divorce
1. Agreement to the holiday
If you are a separated parent, you may think that no one can dictate what you do with your children during the time you get to spend with them. However, unless you have a child arrangements order that says the children live with you, it is necessary to have either your former partner’s written agreement to the holiday abroad or a court order giving you permission to take the children abroad on holiday.
2. Be prepared
If you know that you need your ex-partner’s agreement to take the children abroad on holiday then be prepared and plan in advance so you have time to agree school summer holiday dates and get agreement in writing to your planned trip abroad. If you cannot get your ex-partner’s agreement then it still pays to be organised. That is because an application will need to be made to court to secure an order to give you permission to take the children abroad on holiday.
3. Take the paperwork
With luggage allowances on some aeroplanes it can be tempting to only pack the essentials. However, evidence of your former partner’s agreement to your taking the children abroad on holiday is one of those essentials. You do not need reams of paperwork, a court order or the agreement is sufficient. Even if you do not take the agreement document with you, then as a minimum you should take a text or message confirming the agreement to the overseas holiday.
Why? You may take the view that as your ex-partner has been brilliant about agreeing to your taking the children for a week abroad you do not need to burden yourself with extra paperwork. However, even if your ex has not alerted the airport police to a possible child abduction (yes, it does happen just as in the films) an airport official may start to ask questions if children are travelling abroad with one parent, especially where parent and child have different surnames.
Airport officials are not there to trap travelling dads but to spot children being trafficked into or out of the UK. Whilst we can all understand the vital work officials do it is not pleasant to be caught up, with your children in tow , in delays at the airport because you did not take the paperwork with you . If you have a different surname to your child, you can think about taking a copy birth certificate or change of name deed, just in case questions are asked.
4. Communicate
You may think that your ex-partner worries unnecessarily. They may well do. However, parents do worry if their children are abroad, even if they are with their mum or dad. The parent who is waiting for the children’s return to the UK may be panicking if they have not had a text from the children or if the flights are delayed. A quick message can not only avoid a fraught reunion between children and parent but can also avoid a parent refusing to agree to your taking the children away abroad again.
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If you need legal assistance with applying to take children abroad or advice on existing childcare arrangements or court orders then please contact us
Louise Halford
Jul 10, 2019
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4 minute read
Agreeing Child Contact
When a relationship breaks down parents need to reach an agreement on contact arrangements for their children. If they cannot do so, a family court judge can make a child arrangements order settling with whom the child should live and the contact arrangements. Child law advice can help parents avoid child arrangements order court proceedings by helping them reach an agreement.
Agreeing child contact after separation or divorce
Most of us like to think that if we were to split up from our partner we would still be able to communicate over the kids and sit down and sort out contact. However many separated or divorced couples find it hard to reach agreement on contact. They often need child law advice to help them reach a resolution and avoid court proceedings.
Some parents worry about asking for children law advice, thinking that a solicitor will just recommend making an application to the family court for a child arrangements order to sort out residence and contact.
The reality is that not all children law solicitors are like that. Most good children law solicitors will help a parent look at the contact options by considering contact from your ex-partners or child’s perspective, looking at the practicalities of what you both want, and advising on the sort of child arrangements order that a court might make if either you or your ex-partner were to make a court application.
Shared care and equal parenting
You may think that there is only one contact arrangement that will work for you and your family. Perhaps you know other separated families and the children all live with one parent with the other parent has alternate weekend contact. If your ex-partner wants to share the care of the children, and you do not know any other separated families that do that, their proposals can seem unworkable. However, parents can agree to and courts can order shared parenting of children.
Shared care does not have to mean that children spend an equal amount of time with each parent. Shared care can involve overnight mid-week contact and the sharing of school holidays.
Often the question of whether shared care and specific proposed contact arrangements will work for a family will hinge on practical considerations. For example, the distance of the school commute from both parent’s homes and both parent’s ability to communicate over mundane items, such as whether the school homework has been done or the washing and the handover of the school PE kit.
A good children law solicitor can act as both a sounding board for shared care and contact proposals as well as advising on what a court is likely to order, after assessing your child’s needs and the family circumstances. Whilst parents always know their child’s needs best if it comes to court proceedings a judge will carry out their own assessment and make a child arrangements order. That is why good children law solicitors recommend trying to agree contact after a separation or divorce so parents remain in control, rather than the court.
Shared parenting – a campaign for law reform
Campaigners are asking the government to change child custody law so there is a legal presumption that in every case where a mother and father separate or divorce, the mother and father will share the parenting of their children.
Campaigners are calling for the start point when sorting out custody of children after a separation or divorce to be that children should spend roughly an equal amount of time with their mother and father. The campaign is supported by a recent YouGov survey in favour of shared parenting. Eight out of ten of the two thousand people who took part in the survey agreed that there should be a presumption of shared parenting after a separation or divorce unless the family situation meant there was a proven risk to the child of joint custody.
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Legal advice for child custody
Manchester child custody solicitors say it is important that parents who want to agree contact after a separation or divorce take legal advice on child custody and contact. That is because communication between parents in the early days after a separation or divorce, can make a vast amount of difference to what contact arrangements can be agreed or the court is prepared to order.
Child custody solicitors know that when it comes to either agreeing contact or asking a family judge to make a child arrangements order the presentation and preparation of your proposals is the key to success. In the future, for those parents who want to share the care of children after a separation, making the case in court for shared parenting may become easier if the government makes changes to child custody law. In the meantime, parents need a child custody solicitor who will listen to what they want and advise on the best way of agreeing contact after separation or divorce.
For legal help agreeing contact or on any aspect of children law please contact us
Louise Halford
Jun 27, 2019
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5 minute read
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