Mediation Support

In certain situations, you may be able to skip mediation and proceed directly to court to resolve a family law dispute. In this article, our North West divorce solicitors explore why you may want to consider alternatives to family mediation. Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on how to resolve your family law disagreement effectively. Is mediation compulsory? If you are separating from your husband, wife, civil partner or unmarried partner, there are many matters to resolve, such as: The parenting arrangements for your children Who will stay in the family home Whether maintenance and child support will be paid The financial settlement if you are married or in a civil partnership The property settlement if you were in a cohabiting relationship Whether divorce proceedings should be started and by whom Mediation can resolve all these matters and others. Mediation is not compulsory. It is a voluntary alternative dispute resolution process. All parties to the mediation should attend voluntarily rather than through coercion. However, some people may feel compelled to mediate, as court rules make it clear that parties in most family law disputes must first attempt to resolve their issues outside of the court process. If you feel pressured to go to mediation, it's best to speak with a family law solicitor about your concerns and your alternative dispute resolution options. Trying out family mediation Family mediation begins with each party attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The purpose of the MIAM is for the mediator to: Give you information about mediation Discover what you want to achieve from mediation Determine if you are a suitable candidate for mediation Decide the type of mediation and mediator that best suits your needs MIAMs are usually held separately, allowing you to discuss any reservations about attending mediation and for the mediator to ask questions to ensure that mediation is suitable for you and your former partner. For example: It may not be apparent in the information sent to the mediator that you have experienced domestic violence in your relationship. In a dispute over parenting arrangements for your teenage children, you may want the children to have a say about their living and contact arrangements. A specially trained mediator can involve older children in child-inclusive mediation*. Your partner may inform the mediator that they are unwilling to provide any financial disclosure during mediation, which would render the process ineffective, as the mediator cannot compel such disclosure. In financial court proceedings, the court can order financial disclosure. Here is a link to a Family Mediation Council video that provides a more detailed explanation of child-inclusive mediation. Can I skip mediation? Here are some of the situations where you can skip family mediation and go straight into court proceedings: Your child is at risk of significant harm There is a threat of child abduction Risk of domestic violence Your ex-partner is disposing of assets Here are some examples of why you should bypass mediation: You fear your child will be taken overseas unless you secure a prohibited steps order to prevent parental child abduction by your ex-partner. Your estranged wife is selling or transferring assets, and you need the urgent protection of a Section 37 injunction order to stop them from disposing of assets to defeat your financial claims. There are serious current or historic domestic violence issues, and you do not think that any type of mediation is safe for you to engage in. There are other scenarios where you can bypass mediation and initiate court proceedings. Family law solicitors recommend seeking expert advice before skipping mediation, as the potential consequences of making an incorrect decision can be severe. Consequences of skipping mediation If you choose to bypass family mediation because you don’t like the sound of the process, rather than because there was a good reason for doing so, then the consequence may be: Delay Additional expense Risk of a cost order Risks associated with bypassing mediation Let's look at the risks of skipping mediation in more detail: You may think you are speeding things up by making an application to the court, but the court could decide to adjourn your application for mediation to take place. Your decision to proceed directly to court may have slowed things down, as you could have been attending mediation sessions for several months while waiting for a first court hearing date. Starting court proceedings when you could have reached an agreement outside court adds to your costs. For example, the court application fee and the time spent in preparing your financial settlement or child arrangement order In some family cases, a judge may order that you pay all or a proportion of the other party’s legal costs. The court may be more inclined to make a cost order against you if the judge thinks you didn’t follow the rules and rushed into a premature court application without giving mediation or alternative dispute resolution a chance. Deciding whether to skip mediation is a delicate balancing exercise that should be undertaken with the advice of a specialist divorce solicitor with a thorough understanding of the family law rules and the potential positive and negative implications of opting to bypass mediation. Why don’t you want to go to family mediation? People give several reasons for wanting to avoid family mediation. They include: Don’t think their ex-partner will go to mediation Don’t want to be in the same room as their former partner Won't be able to stand up for themselves in mediation Want to leave it to a judge to decide what happens Previous bad experience of mediation Addressing why you want to skip family mediation At a consultation meeting, a divorce solicitor can explain: What mediation is How family mediation works The measures that can be put in place to address concerns about attending mediation The alternatives to mediation The advantages and disadvantages of mediation [related_posts] What is family mediation? Family mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution that involves a specially trained family mediator. A family mediator is an impartial third party who helps a separated couple resolve family issues, such as child care arrangements or financial settlement. A family mediator will: Facilitate listening to one another, even when you may disagree with what the other person has to say. Help you find a resolution that works and is an acceptable compromise for both of you. A family mediator does not give legal advice to the parties. They are there as a neutral facilitator to help you reach an agreement. That’s why many separating couples find it helpful to speak to a family law solicitor between mediation sessions, so they understand their legal rights, the likely court outcomes and have the confidence to mediate a reasonable compromise. Types of family mediation Family mediation sessions usually take place with a family mediator sitting in a room with both parties. The mediator uses their skills to help you reach your agreement, rather than have an order imposed on you by a family court judge. However, this type of mediation may not be suitable for everyone. Alternatives are available. For example: Shuttle mediation - you and your partner do not meet in the same room; instead, the mediator shuttles between rooms to facilitate a mutually agreeable resolution. Solicitor-involved mediation - each of you can have your solicitor involved in the mediation sessions, as well as provide legal support outside of the mediation sessions. Measures to help mediation work for you These are some of the measures our North West family lawyers can put in place to help you get the best out of mediation: Write to your former partner to explain the implications of them choosing to skip mediation. Advise you on how to select a family mediator to resolve your family law dispute. Recommendations for shuttle mediation if you don’t want to be in the same room as your former partner. Discussing safety measures to enable you to attend mediation with confidence. For example, arriving at separate times to your ex-partner and not waiting in the same waiting room. Provide advice before you start mediation so you understand the range of orders the court has the power to make. Offer specialist advice between mediation sessions to give you the confidence to negotiate effectively during mediation meetings. Explain how counselling can provide the confidence boost you need to make mediation work. Advise on how experts can be effectively involved in the mediation process to facilitate a mutually beneficial agreement—for example, a pension actuary or forensic accountant. Legal representatives present during the mediation sessions to address the power imbalance. Depending on the reasons behind your reservations about mediation, our divorce solicitors may be able to suggest other measures to help make mediation work for you. The advantages of mediation Some people think that talking to their ex-partner is pointless. However, it is worth hearing about the advantages of mediation as an alternative dispute resolution option. The advantages of mediation are: It is often quicker than court proceedings It is cheaper than a court application You and your ex-partner set the mediation agenda, helped by the mediator The mediation process looks forward rather than analysing mistakes made during the relationship Mediation is less adversarial than court proceedings Mediation can come up with a bespoke solution to your family law dispute When you are separating from a former partner, the mediation advantages are important because: You need a decision so you can move on with your life. You and your ex need to spend as little as possible on dispute resolution so you have more to spend on your children or rehousing. Going over old ground, such as the reasons for the marriage breakdown, won't help you reach a financial settlement. If you plan to continue co-parenting your children, it is helpful to reach a parenting agreement that minimises conflict. In court proceedings, the family judge must follow family law rules. For example, the judge cannot consider the needs of adult children still living in the family home or the caring responsibilities of one spouse for aging parents. Mediation offers the flexibility to consider what is relevant to your family. The alternatives to family mediation If you are of the view that mediation isn't the best alternative dispute resolution option for you, then some of the other options are: Collaborative law Arbitration Roundtable meetings with legal representation Amicable Divorce - One Lawyer Divorce Why you should consult with a family lawyer before skipping mediation You should speak to a family lawyer before deciding whether to go to mediation because a specialist family law solicitor can: Explain the mediation process and your other alternative dispute resolution options. Help you choose the right type of mediation model and mediator to facilitate a mutually agreeable resolution with your former partner. Offer advice on potential likely outcomes, costs and timescales if you make an application to court for a divorce settlement or child arrangement order. Advise you if mediation is not appropriate, such as when you need an urgent court order, such as a prohibited steps order. Explain how they can provide legal support and guidance in between mediation sessions to give you the confidence to reach a mediated agreement. Convert your mediated agreement into a binding financial court order. Help you obtain a no-fault divorce, enabling you to implement parts of your financial court order, such as a pension sharing order. At Evolve Family Law, our family law specialists offer a mediation support service, providing all the advice and guidance you need, from your initial inquiry about mediation to helping you secure an agreed court order following a successful mediation. Speak with a Family Law Solicitor Today for Advice on Family Alternative Dispute Resolution Strategies.

The long school summer holidays are fast approaching. Our Northwest family law solicitors offer some tips if you have been unable to agree on child contact over the school holidays. For summer holiday contact advice, phone Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form. Dividing the days or weeks Whether it’s your first school summer holiday after your split or your tenth year, negotiating school holiday contact can be tricky. Parents often assume that if they sorted out last year’s holiday dates with ease then this year should be equally trouble-free. That’s often not the case because: Children’s needs change Your ex may want to take the children overseas for the first time or to a country that you don’t think is safe You may want to take your children on holiday with a new partner and your ex-partner objects You can't take as much time off work this year and your former partner won't step up and share child care or pay towards the cost of school holiday clubs Your child is refusing to stay with their other parent and your ex-partner thinks you have put them up to it Your former partner wants to take the children on a long-haul flight to see extended family and experience their heritage. However, the plans involve a five-week trip because of the distances involved Your ex wants to split the summer hols into days rather than weeks so you each spend a few days each week with the children and that doesn’t suit your work or holiday plans Our family lawyers can help you whatever the reasons for being unable to agree on school summer holiday contact this year. Ways to sort out summer holiday contact disputes There are several ways you can sort out disagreements over holiday contact: Legal advice and then discuss contact directly with the other parent Letter from a family solicitor to your ex-partner Family mediation Application for a holiday order Application for a child arrangement order A family lawyer can discuss the option that best suits your needs. Here are some pointers: Direct discussions can work after a consultation with a solicitor. The meeting will explain your rights and advise on whether the court would likely think your proposals reasonable and give information on the costs and timescales of your alternate options A letter from a children lawyer can sometimes quickly sort out what initially appeared to be an intractable dispute that could only be solved with a court application Family mediation is an excellent way to speak to your ex with a neutral mediator present to help you facilitate a compromise acceptable to both of you. Advice from family lawyers before the mediation can help you understand your rights and court options. That way you know when it is sensible to compromise A holiday order is necessary if you want to take your child abroad and your ex won't give their consent. Going on an overseas holiday without either written consent or a court order could mean you are stopped at the airport or accused of parental child abduction A child arrangement order is of benefit because if the order says your child lives with you then the law states you can take your child on holiday for up to 28 days without needing your ex-partner’s agreement or a holiday order [related_posts] School summer holiday contact tips Here are the top tips from Evolve Family Law for negotiating summer holiday contact arrangements for your children: 1. Plan the holiday contact as early as possible As soon as you get the school holiday schedule for the year you should start to plan holiday contact with your ex-partner. Planning needs to start early in many families as annual leave can be difficult to arrange because all working parents want time off during school holidays. It is especially complicated when you and/or your ex are part of a blended family and have the commitments of step-parents and the needs of half-siblings or stepchildren to consider. 2. Look at the wider picture If you want to take the children skiing at Easter or want to take them on a long-haul holiday next year it's best to look at the wider picture when negotiating summer holiday contact. If your ex is prepared to make Christmas contact concessions then maybe you should be flexible over the summer holiday plans. 3. Think about the children When you are negotiating with your former partner it can be easy to forget to ask your children what they want or to agree to a contact schedule that doesn’t suit your children. For example, no teen will want a 9 am handover and most children won't benefit from going on back-to-back holidays to Spain with each parent whilst spending the rest of the summer with nothing planned. 4. Be flexible It can be hard to be flexible if you have booked a foreign holiday or if time off work for child care cover must be booked months in advance. However, it is best to listen to requests for changes to the contact regime as next year you may need a bit of flexibility. 5. Consult a solicitor Too often parents don’t take their children away on a beach holiday to Spain because their ex won't agree or a parent ends up with a contact schedule that doesn’t meet their needs or the needs of their child. With advice from a family lawyer and a letter from them to your ex-partner, you may be able to sort out a summer holiday contact regime that works for you and your children. How Evolve Family Law can help Our team of family law experts have lots of experience in negotiating contact after parental separation and divorce. Our focus is to help you reach an agreement without the need to apply to the court for a holiday order or child arrangement order. For summer holiday contact advice, phone Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.

Family arbitration is just one of several ways you can resolve a family law dispute without making a court application to get a family law judge to decide the disputed issue. At Evolve Family Law we are receiving more inquiries about family arbitration. That’s because of a change in court rules that places more emphasis on spouses or separating partners using a non-court dispute resolution option before starting a court application for a financial settlement or child arrangement order. For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.  What is family arbitration? The best way to describe family arbitration is that it is like using a private judge as the arbitrator is paid by you to resolve your family law dispute. The funding is normally joint but it does not have to be if one of you does not have the funds to pay. The arbitrator is chosen by your family law solicitors from a list of qualified arbitrators. The choice of arbitrator will depend on their specialism and location. For example, if you have a complex asset base and family business and require an arbitrator who not only is an expert in divorce financial settlements but also understands how companies work. Once your family arbitrator is chosen and agrees to act as arbitrator you will be asked to sign an arbitration agreement so you and your spouse or partner understand the rules of arbitration.  The arbitration then goes ahead with preliminary matters resolved, such as the evidence and reports the arbitrator requires. An arbitration date for the final decision is then arranged and after reading the evidence and hearing from you and your ex-partner the arbitrator will make a binding decision. In a financial claim, the arbitration decision is called an award. In a child-related dispute, the arbitrator’s decision is called a determination. One arbitrator can make both types of decisions if you are not able to reach an agreement on residence or contact or on how your assets are split. [related_posts] Is family arbitration more expensive than making an application to court? Family arbitration can be cheaper than making an application to court even though you are paying an arbitrator and you do not have to pay a family law judge for their time (although you do have to pay court fees if you make an application to the family court). Why is it cheaper if you are paying for the arbitrator? There are 2 reasons: The arbitration process – the family arbitration process can be adapted to your circumstances so it can be more flexible than court applications. This means you may need fewer arbitration hearings than if you made an application to court so you spend less on legal fees  Speed – in the family court system there are significant family court backlogs meaning you have to wait longer for a decision. The delay can cost you if you are waiting for a financial settlement decision on whether the family home should be sold or a pension sharing order made Why you need to consider family arbitration You need to consider family arbitration and the other non-court based dispute resolution options because of a change in the Family Procedure Rules. In April 2024 the rules changed to move the emphasis on just using family mediation to resolve your family law dispute before making an application to the court to consider all potential dispute resolution options. In most family court applications, the new Family Procedure Rules require you to sign a statement of truth to explain what non-court dispute resolution options you have tried before applying to court and to explain why if you have not done so.  Our family law solicitors will advise you if your first option should be court because there are situations where an urgent court application is the only advisable route. For example, if you need a child arrangement order and prohibited steps order as you fear child abduction by your ex-spouse or if you need an injunction to stop your spouse from selling assets to defeat your financial settlement claims.  The new rules allow a family law judge to adjourn your family law application to try non-court dispute resolution even if you do not ask for the adjournment. In NA V LA [2024] EWFC 113, a family judge ordered an adjournment of a financial application for the couple to use non-court dispute resolution. The judge concluded it would be of emotional and financial benefit to the couple as well as to their children to reach an agreement outside of court. The judge stayed the proceedings for dispute resolution to go ahead. Talk to Evolve Family Law about family arbitration Our family law solicitors can help you work out whether family arbitration is a good route for your family to resolve your family law dispute so you can move on with your life. We will discuss your alternative options, such as: Using our One Lawyer Amicable Divorce Service Collaborative law  Family mediation  If you decide that you would like to use family arbitration, we can help you with: The choice of arbitrator Representation during the arbitration process Implementation of the arbitration decision For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. 

In this blog, our family law solicitors offer tips on how to get the best out of family mediation to help you resolve your family law issue.  For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.   Here are some tips on getting the best out of family mediation:            1.Do you know where you are going?  That may sound like a stupid question but often mediation sessions take place at a mediator’s office and the location may be unfamiliar to you. Your mediation session will not get off to a good start if you arrive late or flustered.           2. Do you have time?  Most mediation sessions last for about an hour to an hour and a half. Sometimes they can run over a bit. It is best to avoid booking the mediation meeting on a day or at a time when you need to rush off to an important business meeting or to do the school run.           3. Is it the right time to mediate?  If a couple has been separated for a while, then it may be the right time to go to mediation. For others, the timing can be more complicated as one of you may feel too raw about the relationship breakdown to be able to engage in mediation.  It is always a balancing exercise because you do not want to leave starting mediation for too long but starting it before one of you is ready can be counterproductive. A spouse who is finding it hard to come to terms with the marriage breakdown might find it helpful to have a period of counselling before or during the mediation sessions.           4. The choice of mediator  Make sure that the mediator is right for you and your spouse or ex-partner.  Your solicitors should ideally agree on the choice of mediator.  It can be hard to choose a mediator but do not be swayed by their location and convenience or your friend’s views. These can be important considerations but other factors may influence your decision. It may be the case that you know your spouse would feel more comfortable with a male or female mediator. You may be keen to accommodate their wishes to give mediation the best chance of working.  Your family finances may also be a consideration when looking at the choice of mediator.  If you own a family business or have complex finances a mediator with a legal or financial background might best meet your needs.            5. The mediation agenda  At the outset of the mediation sessions, the mediator will normally discuss and agree on an agenda.  You may only have one item on your agenda, for example, to keep the family home or your pension. Although it is important that your spouse, your solicitor and the mediator know what your priority is, it is also important that other things and options are put on the agenda for discussion.            6. Listen  Mediation is a two-way process. That is why it is hard, as you need to listen to your ex-partner’s views to try to reach a compromise. Listening to them should ensure that they treat you with the same courtesy and listen to what you have to say. Mediation sessions can be emotionally hard and can sometimes bring up painful topics or memories. If it is too much for you ask for a break. It is better to have a break rather than continue when you are very emotional or upset.            7. Ask for explanations  Solicitors, mediators and spouses can all assume that you know what they are talking about when they use legal terminology or talk about financial matters, such as pension-sharing options or mortgage finance.  If you are uncertain, about what has been said or what is proposed then ask for clarification. A mediator cannot give legal advice but they can explain legal or financial terminology. You should also ask for a detailed explanation from your family law solicitor and not make any decisions about your options and any proposed agreement until you have done so.            8. The past is in the past  When you are in mediation, it can be tempting to go back over old history. Sometimes it can be relevant. For example, if one of you paid the deposit on the family home or received an inheritance. Sometimes going over old history just makes it harder to reach a compromise. For example, if you want to look at the reasons for the marriage breakdown.  Mediation is normally about looking at the future and helping you reach an agreement that will work for the family. If too much time is spent on reviewing what went wrong it can be hard to focus on reaching an agreement.           9. There is more than one option  It is very rare for there to be only one solution in mediation. There are normally many options and it is best to go to mediation without having a fixed view that your preferred resolution is the only acceptable option.         10. Do your homework  A mediator will often ask you to bring some paperwork or carry out some investigations before the next mediation session. For example, you may be asked to get an estate agent’s appraisal of your family home or to speak to a mortgage advisor to look at your mortgage options.  Even if you do not want to sell the family home or get a new mortgage, it is important that you do the homework. If you do not your ex-partner may get frustrated by the mediation process and start court proceedings. You will then lose the chance to try to reach a mediation agreement.  [related_posts] Talk to your family law solicitor  Mediation should not be carried out in isolation from legal advice. It is a common misconception that the mediator will give legal advice. They cannot do that. Their job is to act as an impartial mediator to facilitate an agreement. They therefore will not take sides or advise you.  Mediation works best if you have mediation support. That involves:  Talking about what mediation entails, looking at the alternatives and deciding if mediation is right for you. If there has been domestic violence or a power imbalance then an alternative to mediation may be better for you. If you have reached a broad agreement a one-lawyer amicable divorce service may meet your needs  Getting legal information and advice about your separation and divorce and the timing of the no-fault divorce   Getting advice about your financial claims, for example, you need to know if you have a pension claim and the legal answer will depend on whether you are or were married to your ex-partner or not   Explain why you need financial paperwork to help you reach decisions in mediation and, if necessary, review your spouse’s paperwork with you  Getting advice on the types of orders that a court might make if you or your ex-partner were to start court proceedings so you can make an informed decision about any financial or parenting agreement discussed in mediation  If an agreement is reached, prepare a draft financial court order or child arrangement order for a judge to then approve  All our family lawyers can support you on your mediation journey to help you reach an agreement on childcare arrangements or a financial settlement after a separation or divorce.  For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.

Applying for a Financial Court Order when you Have Reached a Divorce Financial Agreement If you have reached an agreement with your ex-husband or your ex-wife about how your assets will be split after your divorce you may question if you need a financial court order. A divorce solicitor will tell you that a court order is necessary and explain what could happen if you don’t obtain an order. For expert advice on divorce and family law call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. Why you need a financial court order If you have reached a divorce financial settlement by agreement, you still need a financial court order. There are several reasons why you need an order: It gives you financial security – if your ex-partner changes their mind and wants more than you originally agreed upon you can rely on the court order to prevent additional claims for cash. For example, your ex may say the original agreement was unfair because the value of your business has gone up more than the equity in the family home or that they need more because they did not get a share of your pension when they negotiated the financial deal You can enforce a court order – you may think that your ex-spouse won't breach your agreement but, for example, if you agreed that the family home would be sold, they may be reluctant to sell the property if it means they have to downsize. A court order can include the mechanics for the sale and if a spouse is resistant to a sale the court can order that a judge has the authority to sign the transfer documents. You may think it unlikely that you will need to enforce an order but situations change, such as your ex-spouse or you meeting a new partner, and that altering the dynamics Pensions – if your financial agreement includes pension sharing the pension administrator is not allowed to implement your agreement until they have a financial court order, pension sharing annex, and the final order of divorce   Third parties – you may need a financial court order where third parties are involved. For example, if one of you is at potential risk of bankruptcy with the involvement of a trustee in bankruptcy. For example, if a mortgage company will only transfer the mortgage into your ex-spouse’s sole name if the transfer is made under a court order or if there is a spousal maintenance order so your ex-spouse can persuade the mortgage company that they have enough income to be able to take the mortgage over on their own Clean break – some financial agreements include a clean break to stop any future financial claims by you or your ex-spouse. If you have negotiated a clean break, it is important to have the security of a binding financial court order that endorses and confirms the clean break [related_posts] Applying for a financial court order If you have reached a financial agreement through direct discussion, solicitor negotiations, or family mediation there is normally no need to go to a court hearing to get your financial court order. Your divorce solicitor can send the paperwork to the court for approval and, in the vast majority of cases, a judge will agree to make the financial court order with no alterations to the draft order or only minor ‘drafting tweaks’. Broken down into stages, to obtain a financial court order you have to: Check there is an agreement that is capable of being made into a financial court order – if you negotiated your agreement direct then your divorce solicitor can check your agreement for you Check if the court can make a financial court order – the court can only make a financial court order once you have obtained a conditional order of divorce. If you got divorced some time ago and have a decree nisi of divorce the court can still make a financial court order Check if any relevant third parties are OK with the agreement. For example, the mortgage company if a house and mortgage are going to be transferred into one spouse’s name or a pension administrator if a pension sharing order is being requested Draw up the draft financial court order and exchange it with your ex-spouse’s solicitor and make any changes needed Swap statements of financial information summarising your assets and income. These statements are filed in court with your draft financial court order. The court will not approve a financial court order unless these statements are prepared and filed Send the draft financial court order to any relevant third parties. For example, to a pension administrator for their approval of the wording of the pension sharing order Ask the court to approve the financial court order by sending the court the required paperwork and court fee. In the vast majority of cases, the judge will make the financial court order requested if the order has been properly prepared and the statement of financial information explains why the court order has been agreed upon Answer any questions the court may have on the proposed financial court order Once the sealed financial court order is received from the court send it to any relevant third parties. For example, the pension administrator, financial advisor, or property solicitor if the financial court order includes pension sharing, investment transfers, or the transfer of property Finalise the divorce proceedings as without the final order of divorce the financial court order cannot be enforced Diary up. If the financial court order includes spousal maintenance your divorce solicitor should check and diary up review dates for increases in line with retail price index rises or end dates and make sure everything in the court order has been sorted out, such as the implementation of a pension sharing order, the taking out of life insurance or changes to a pension nomination That list may look exhausting but the job of a divorce solicitor is to convert agreements into financial court orders. At Evolve Family Law we recognise that if you have reached a financial agreement, you do not want to hang around whilst divorce solicitors get out their fountain pens to prepare financial court paperwork and then post it back and forth between spouses and solicitors. Evolve uses technology to standardise and speed up the process of drafting family court orders, and as importantly, to make the obtaining of a financial court order more cost-effective and value for money for you. It is the combination of experience and technology that means Evolve Family Law can offer transparent pricing and fixed fees for financial court orders. We are proud to say that we are one of the first law firms in the country to publish our fees online in a handy user-friendly guide without hidden extras as the quoted fees include VAT. Some financial court orders are more complicated than others, especially where there are businesses or trusts involved, and in other situations, you may not be able to reach a financial agreement and so need advice on the financial court process. Whatever the situation you find yourself in, Evolve Family Law can help with friendly approachable expert assistance combined with transparent costs. The first step is to contact us to discuss how our divorce solicitors can help you. For expert advice on divorce and family law call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

Emotional abuse is one of those tricky topics. Many people don’t like to admit that they are being emotionally abused because it makes them seem weak or thin skinned. However, the Covid-19 pandemic and the confinement of lockdown at home has made many people realise that it is time to confront emotional abuse in their relationship. In this blog we look at emotional abuse and your options on what to do about emotional abuse in your marriage. What is emotional abuse? As we gradually start to emerge from lockdown people are asking questions about their relationships, often because they have spent far more time with their partner in a relatively confined space than at any other time. Sometimes that experience has brought out the best in a relationship and at other times people have experienced far more physical or emotional abuse than they would normally have if their partner had been working or able to see friends and family. Sometimes, the stresses of working on the ‘’front line’’ in a key worker role has meant that a partner has brought their fears home with them and their behaviour has had a very negative impact on their partner and children.   Family law solicitors say that unless it is an emergency situation you should take time to think before you make any major decisions about your relationship. It is important to reflect on your partner’s behaviour and consider if it is emotional abuse. Whilst it is best not to make a rapid decision to separate it is equally sensible to look at whether what you are experiencing is emotional abuse and to ask yourself if there is any prospect of your partner or spouse recognising their behaviour as abusive and doing something to change their behaviour.   Sadly, for many husbands, wives, and partners, emotional abuse can become part of their daily life so they become inured to it. Often, it when their partner’s behaviour has turned on the children during lockdown, with the children being at home and underfoot all day, that the behaviour is seen for what it is; emotional abuse.   What is emotional abuse? It is difficult to define emotional abuse because unlike physical violence there is no obvious slap mark, bruise or fracture. The effects of emotional abuse are often not obvious but they are equally damaging as physical abuse.   Emotional abuse is all about control through the manipulation of your emotions. It isn’t a one off experience but is normally a slow and invidious process until it gets to the stage that you haven’t got the strength to leave the relationship. Sometimes it takes something as dramatic as the Covid-19 lockdown or seeing your partner start to emotionally abuse your child that is the ‘’wake-up call’’ to get help.   Emotional abuse isn’t about having rows, shouting at one another, or saying words you regret. We all do that in relationships, especially if we are under pressure because we are confined at home or are worried about work and financial matters. Emotional abuse is best described by example as it can be subtle. Examples of emotional abuse and controlling behaviour include: Constantly belittling you from telling you that you are a fool, ‘’incapable of doing that’ ’and judging your efforts Giving directions on what you should wear, how much you should eat, when you should speak, who you should see and if you can go out If you challenge the behaviour, telling you that you are insane and that no one will believe you if you speak out Refusing to speak to you or leaving the family home for days if you ask them to change their behaviour Taking over control of almost every aspect of your life from money management and access to funds to making all the important decisions about the children and to making the decisions for you from who you vote for to your choice of hairstyle Restricting you so you are not able to speak on the phone to friends and family as phone and internet activity is monitored and not able to meet with family because your movements are tracked or you fear that you will betray yourself and let something slip about having spoken to a friend.   Sometimes those in emotionally abusive relationships also experience physical violence. Many say that the physical violence is easier to cope with than the constant emotional abuse or living with a partner who is silent and won't speak for days because you have committed some minor misdemeanour.   Emotional abusers can temper their abuse with gifts and kind words thus giving you hope that they have changed or that they can't help their behaviour because they love you so much. This type of abuse is so subtle and powerful that people from all walks of life can find themselves caught up in an abusive relationship and not know how to get out. [related_posts] What help can you get if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Many people think that they can't ask for help because what they are experiencing isn’t ‘’domestic violence’’ or that ‘’no-one will believe me’’ or that ‘’I can't afford to leave’’. None of those statements are true.   An experienced and understanding family law solicitor will talk you through your options. Importantly they won't try to control your decisions or tell you what you must do. However they can guide you and support you, whether you decide to stay with your partner or decide that a separation or divorce is the best option for you and your family.   Many divorce and family law solicitors work with professional counsellors and therapists who can offer: Joint sessions for you and your partner to see if the problems within your relationship can be addressed or Individual help to an emotional abuser to get them to accept their behaviour for what it is or Individual help for you to help you recover your self-esteem and confidence after years in an emotionally abusive relationship.   A family solicitor can help you with: Advice on a temporary separation including whether you should stay in the family home and financial matters such as spousal maintenance and child support and short term parenting arrangements and contact (child arrangements order) A long term separation or divorce with help with a separation agreement, divorce proceedings, child custody and contact and a financial settlement Court orders to protect you such as an occupation order so you can stay in the family home or a non-molestation order. Our Family Law and Divorce Solicitors Whether you need legal help with an emotionally abusive relationship, a separation, divorce, maintenance, an injunction, financial settlement or children order the specialist but friendly and supportive team of family lawyers at Evolve Family Law can help you. Call us or complete our online enquiry form. We can set up a video conference, Skype or telephone appointment for you or arrange a face to face meeting at our offices in Holmes Chapel Cheshire or Whitefield Manchester.

You may get a call or a letter through the post asking you to go to Mediation to discuss the future arrangements for your children or to resolve whether you should sell the family home and how you should share the pension. That first contact with a mediation service can be very intimidating, not deliberately, but just because you perhaps have not initiated the contact with the family mediator or because you do not know what will happen at the first family mediation session. Keeping an Open Mind About Family Mediation Where do you start? Well as an experienced Manchester family finance and divorce solicitor I would say start with an open mind about family mediation. Some people think, from the outset, that mediation won't work for them because their spouse or ex-partner will be too difficult and won't be prepared to discuss or negotiate. You may be right but, in my experience, mediation sessions can result in even the most entrenched spouse coming round to a compromise. The question then is whether the compromise works for both of you. If so, the agreement that you reach in mediation can be converted into a binding financial court order that is approved by the court in divorce proceedings. Solicitors and Family Mediation Some people assume that solicitors don't believe in the benefits of family mediation. They assume that divorce solicitors want all divorcing couples to go to court to get a judge to decide how their money and other assets should be split. We're not like that, and we fully believe in mediation and support the process from beginning to end. We do however accept that ‘’one size doesn’t fit all’’ – we fully believe mediation is the right option for some couples, but accept that for others court or arbitration are the best routes to reaching a fair financial settlement. Why do I say that? Well, if I see someone who is worried that their spouse is hiding money or transferring property or investments to family members, all the indications are that family mediation isn’t appropriate and that financial court proceedings should be started as quickly as possible to preserve the family assets, and, if necessary, get injunction orders.      On the other hand, if I meet someone who has been invited to a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM) or to their first mediation session and they are feeling very daunted and a bit vulnerable because they don’t know as much about the family finances as their spouse then I see my job as to support the client through mediation support and not try and encourage them to start financial court proceedings. Ultimately, if mediation doesn’t work for the couple, court proceedings may have to be started but the non-court option should be explored first as , with a help from a Manchester divorce solicitor, the client can feel more empowered and less vulnerable during the mediation sessions. Mediation Support Often separating couples think that consulting a divorce solicitor and going to family mediation sessions are mutually exclusive. They are not as a divorce solicitor and family mediator have two completely different roles. As a Manchester divorce solicitor my job is to give you: legal information and advice about divorce proceedings ; and advice about the extent of your financial claims , for example , if you have a pension sharing order claim or spousal maintenance claim; and talk to you about the information and paperwork needed to help you reach informed financial decisions in mediation ; and the types of orders that a court might make if you or your spouse were to ask the court to decide on how your assets should be split – this isn’t to encourage you to litigate and go to court but to ensure that you can make informed decisions about any financial agreement that is discussed in mediation , bearing in mind the costs and risks of financial court proceedings ; and   Support between the family mediation sessions to help clarify what was discussed, review financial disclosure within the mediation sessions and explore your options; and If agreement is reached in the family mediation sessions and the mediator prepares a memorandum of understanding setting out the agreement in broad terms then converting the agreement and financial information into a draft financial court order and financial statement of information for a judge to then approve and make into a binding financial court order. Family mediation isn’t the easy option for spouses or solicitors as it takes a lot of courage for many spouses to attend mediation sessions. It also takes specialist divorce solicitors who are prepared to support you through mediation and work with the family mediator to give the mediation sessions the best chance of succeeding. Success often comes through a spouse feeling legally empowered in family mediation sessions by knowing what their legal rights are and having a divorce solicitor working for them and providing legal support in the background. Appointments are available in Manchester and Cheshire, contact us today. [related_posts]