Leaving an Abusive Partner
Any separation or divorce is a painful process, but it can be challenging when you are leaving an abusive partner. At Evolve Family Law, our divorce solicitors have experience in helping people separating from abusive partners.
Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.
Deciding to leave an abusive partner
It is difficult to decide to leave a husband, wife or partner. People often think that the decision to separate is easy if you are leaving an abusive partner, as ending the relationship is the ‘obvious’ thing to do. As specialist divorce lawyers helping those involved in abusive relationships, our solicitors know that it is no easier to leave an abusive partner than it is to leave a caring and kind partner, where the relationship is at an end because the couple have drifted apart.
There is help available to decide whether ending a relationship is the right thing for you. Counsellors, therapists and domestic violence charities all offer a sounding board. Family and friends can also be a good source of support if they are good listeners and able to let you make your own decision. A divorce lawyer can give you the legal information you need before you decide to leave your partner.
How do you leave an abusive partner?
You may think the answer to the question ‘how do you leave an abusive partner?’ is obvious – you get up and leave. However, Cheshire divorce solicitors who work with people in abusive relationships know that it isn’t as easy as that. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is particularly important to plan your departure to make sure you and your children are safe.
Here are our divorce solicitors' tips on how to leave an abusive partner:
Get help and support – the support can be from friends, family, your doctor or counsellor, the police, a domestic violence agency or another source.
Have an escape plan – if you are leaving a partner, it is normal to discuss why the relationship hasn’t worked out and why you are either leaving or want them to go. If you are leaving an abusive partner, it may not be safe to have that discussion. You may either need to leave without telling them about your plans or where you are going, or you may need injunction orders to protect you.
Be practical – if you are making phone calls or using the internet, or you or the children are posting things on Facebook, think about whether your abusive partner will be able to trace you from those activities. If you are planning on leaving, think about what you will need to take with you to avoid returning for essential items. If the children are in school, make sure teachers know why you may need to collect the children early or arrange for someone else to do so.
Protect yourself – if you are at immediate risk, then don’t follow any escape plan but get immediate help from the police. If you are not at immediate risk but are worried about your safety, then speak to a divorce solicitor about getting emergency injunction orders (called non-molestation and occupation orders) or children orders (called child arrangements orders or prohibited steps orders) to safeguard your children.
Take legal advice – ideally, you should take legal advice before you leave an abusive partner so that you know where you stand legally and whether, for example, you can make them leave the family home, if you can change the locks, stop contact or get interim financial support.
Be strong – you may think that you are not strong enough to leave or to withstand the pressure from your partner to return or their attempts to find you and exact revenge because you left. Leaving isn’t always the easy option, and that is why you may need support to stay strong.
Is my partner abusive?
You may think that the question ‘Is my partner abusive?’ should have a straightforward answer. However, it isn’t uncommon for those leaving abusive relationships not to recognise their partner’s behaviour as abuse. That can be for a variety of reasons, such as:
You understandably don’t want to be a victim of abuse, and so minimise your partner’s behaviour.
You have a narrow view of what amounts to abusive behaviour because you have been coached into thinking that psychological abuse or coercive and controlling behaviour is not abusive.
You have been told that your partner’s behaviour is normal or that it only occurs because of your demands.
Your partner isn’t abusive to the children, so it must be your behaviour that is at fault and not that of your partner.
Most injunction lawyers understand why a victim does not see their spouse’s behaviour as abusive during the relationship, and therefore why it is so hard for the victim to recognise their spouse’s behaviour as abuse when they separate from their abusive partner. If you have been told repeatedly that you are ‘mental’ or the one with the ‘problem’, it is all too easy to get sucked into believing that the abuse only occurs because your partner cares about you.
What is domestic abuse?
The definition of domestic abuse is extensive. Nowadays, courts and divorce lawyers recognise that abuse in a relationship isn’t limited to physical assaults. Domestic abuse includes:
Verbal and emotional abuse, such as belittling you or telling you that you are mentally unwell or not a fit parent.
Financial control, such as withholding money from you, so you are reliant on your partner.
Intimidation and mind games, such as telling you that they will kill themselves or leave their job, so you will end up with nothing but guilt if you leave.
Exercising coercion and control, such as not letting you see your family or being unwilling to let you go out to work or to have a bank account.
There are numerous examples of what amounts to abusive behaviour in a relationship. Sometimes it takes talking to a friend, counsellor or divorce solicitor about your relationship to recognise the behaviour for what it is and to start to acknowledge the physical and emotional impact of your partner’s abusive behaviour on you.
Leaving an abusive partner
If you are contemplating leaving an abusive partner, the number one priority is to make sure that you are safe and are empowered to do so. It is stressful leaving any relationship, but if your partner is abusive, the physical departure can be a dangerous trigger point unless handled carefully. Just as importantly, if you have been in an abusive relationship for a long time, it can be easy to succumb to promises of change or being told that you can’t leave because you won’t be able to take the children with you, or you won’t get a penny.
It can feel as if there is no escape from an abusive partner, but that isn’t the case. With emotional and legal support, you can leave an abusive partner safely and rebuild your life.
Getting help with an abusive partner
When you live with an abusive partner, it is hard to reach out and ask for help. That can be down to feelings of embarrassment or because you love your partner and want to stay in the relationship, but want the abuse to stop. Divorce lawyers find it is often the case that those in abusive relationships are too frightened to speak out and ask for help, as they fear what will happen if they do. That is understandable, as the last thing that you or they want is for your situation to be any worse than it is.
If you are worried about seeing a divorce solicitor, then you can come to a meeting to discuss leaving an abusive partner with a friend or member of your family. They can help give you the courage to go, but remember that whilst friends and family can offer emotional and practical support, the decision to leave must come from you.
If you don’t have friends or family to support you (or would be worried about things getting back to your partner), many supportive organisations and charities are there to help with information and advice, as well as individuals, such as your GP or a counsellor, who can support you in your decision to leave your abusive partner.
Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.
Divorcing an abusive partner
You do not need to refer to your partner’s behaviour to obtain a divorce. With the introduction of no-fault divorce proceedings, all you need to do is file an application saying that you think the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Even if your spouse does not share your view, they cannot oppose your divorce application.
In the divorce proceedings, you will need a divorce solicitor who can stand up to your partner, ensure that you and your children get the legal protection you need, and help you make your own decisions about what you want.
Children and leaving an abusive partner
It isn’t unusual for divorce lawyers to be told that someone has stayed in an abusive relationship for years, for the sake of the children. That can be down to a whole variety of factors, such as:
Your abusive partner has told you that they will get custody of the children, and they won’t let you see the children because they will turn the children against you.
You think that you would have to leave the family home, and you are worried that this will affect the children.
The children love their other parent, and you don’t want them to grow up in a single-parent family.
The timing to separate isn’t right because of a child’s exams or the start of primary or secondary school.
The research into children and separation and divorce shows that:
Children are remarkably resilient.
Often, children know when there is something wrong with their parents’ relationship. Although the children may not have seen any domestic violence or physical assaults, because you have protected them, they can still pick up on the vibe in the household and be emotionally affected by it.
Children prefer to live in two households rather than have their parents living together in an abusive relationship with a toxic atmosphere.
Child arrangement orders when leaving an abusive partner
It is natural to feel very anxious about childcare arrangements if you are planning to leave an abusive partner. The priority is to ensure that you and the children are safe from any domestic violence (or the children witnessing it), so injunction applications can be made to safeguard you and the children. In addition, you can apply for a child arrangements order. In an emergency, a child arrangements order can be made quickly to protect the children.
A child arrangement order can:
Say the children should live with you, on a short-term or long-term basis.
Set out whether the children should see your partner, and if so, whether the contact visits should take place in a supervised setting (for example, at a contact centre or in the presence of a member of your family or a trusted friend) and spell out the safe handover and collection arrangements.
Abuse allegations and child arrangement order applications
If you and your abusive partner need to go to court to sort out the child care arrangements, it is essential that:
Your husband or wife’s abusive behaviour and its impact on you and the children is explained by your solicitor as part of the court process; and
The court looks at whether a finding of fact hearing is needed to decide on the domestic abuse allegations before it makes orders under the Children Act.
If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the abusive parent if the court believes that the physical and emotional safety of you and your children can be protected before, during and after the contact.
Many divorcing partners are adamant that they want their children to see their other parent, even though there has been abuse within the relationship. That is because they want their children to have a relationship with both parents. If you are satisfied that the children will be safe during contact, then it is essential to ensure that you are also safe during the handover of the children for contact. For example, you may not want your abusive partner coming to the house to collect the children, but would prefer a neutral handover where there is less chance that your partner will ‘kick off’ or say anything that will upset the children.
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Leaving an abusive partner and getting a financial settlement
It is natural to worry that even if you are safely able to leave an abusive partner, they will make sure that you ‘end up with nothing’. Divorce solicitors are experts in making sure that not only are you protected from an abusive partner, but that you also receive a fair financial settlement and that you are not bullied or coerced into accepting less than you need or are entitled to.
Your lawyer can either negotiate with your ex-partner or start financial court proceedings. Whether you negotiate or start court proceedings, the important thing is that you have a solicitor on your side, making sure:
You have the information and financial disclosure orders necessary to make financial decisions.
Any financial settlement is reality tested to make sure that the financial court order meets your needs and is capable of enforcement if your partner remains difficult and uncooperative.
Legal help with an abusive partner
Abusive partners tend to be bullies and don’t want or like anyone standing up to them. Courts don’t like bullies, so whether you are being physically assaulted, emotionally abused or financially controlled, there is help available from divorce solicitors and the family court to:
Protect you through the making of non-molestation and occupation injunction orders.
Financially protect you through the making of child support, spousal maintenance, property and pension orders and orders to enforce compliance if your abusive partner won’t comply with court orders.
Protect the family through child arrangement orders to ensure your children are safe.
Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly. We provide the expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice that you need when you are separating from an abusive partner and need someone on your side.
Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.
Our latest blogs
Louise Halford
Aug 08, 2025
·
13 minute read
Divorcing a Narcissist
If you are married to a narcissist, you may need specialist legal advice to sort out your separation and divorce. Otherwise, you may find that your needs or those of your children are not adequately addressed.
At Evolve Family Law, our Northwest divorce solicitors are experts in advising in divorce, children and financial proceedings where one spouse has behaved unreasonably, is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder.
Call Evolve Family Law for specialist family law advice or complete our online enquiry form.
Is my spouse a narcissist?
In any blog on divorcing a narcissist, it is important to look at some of the essential traits of a narcissist to help you understand if your spouse has the personality characteristics of a narcissist.
The Oxford dictionary defines a narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. Narcissists are said to have the following personality traits:
A sense of self-importance.
A sense of entitlement.
Requiring praise and attention.
Willing to exploit and use others without feeling a sense of guilt or shame.
Able to demean and belittle other people without worrying about the impact of their behaviour on others.
Able to live in their fantasy world where they are the centre of attention.
Do any of those traits sound like your husband or wife? If so, you may need help from a counsellor to talk through how you feel about remaining in the relationship. Our divorce lawyers can advise you on the likely legal implications if you decide to separate or, if you have decided to separate or divorce, apply for a no-fault divorce and help you reach a childcare arrangement and financial court order.
Getting divorced from a narcissist
Divorcing is stressful, even when it is amicable. However, when your husband or wife is a narcissist, it can feel as if there is no escape from your marriage. There is, but you will need support, both legal and emotional.
If you are married to someone who exhibits narcissistic traits or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then you need to accept that your husband or wife won’t think that they are at fault or that anything they do is wrong. It can, therefore, be futile to have direct discussions on the reasons behind why you think the relationship is at an end. If they are a narcissist, they won’t engage or accept any fault.
A narcissist will turn any discussion about your marriage and separation into a tirade on looking at the impact of what is happening on them, rather than the impact on you or the children. If you have the sort of personality that gets stressed or know you will end up too frazzled to deal with the separation if your spouse starts to belittle you, then it may be best to leave things in the hands of your divorce solicitor. A divorce lawyer who has experience with narcissistic personality disorders and divorce will have the strategies to sort out your separation and divorce.
Divorce proceedings and narcissists
Getting divorced is now straightforward, as you do not need to blame your spouse, nor do they need to blame you. That’s because the UK government has introduced no-fault divorce.
In no-fault divorce proceedings, the applicant for a divorce must be able to say that, in their opinion, the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The applicant’s opinion is sufficient. There is no need for the other spouse to agree and no need to substantiate the claim that the marriage is at an end with examples of unreasonable behaviour.
When a narcissist thinks that they are not in control of a situation, they can try to stop you from doing what you plan. That is not possible with no-fault divorce proceedings, as the applicant can decide to start the divorce application, and the respondent only has very limited grounds to object to the divorce. The grounds to object to the divorce are limited to areas such as:
You are not legally married.
The respondent has already initiated divorce proceedings in another country.
The English court does not have the jurisdiction to grant a divorce as neither spouse is domiciled or habitually resident in England and Wales.
Although a spouse with a narcissistic personality disorder cannot stop you from getting divorced, they can make the process challenging. Their behaviour may deteriorate, and that can be a concern if you are still living together in the family home or trying to negotiate a financial settlement or parenting arrangements once you are living in separate households. You need a strong, no-nonsense solicitor on your side who won’t get caught up in your spouse’s tirades but instead will focus on your divorce and sorting out the arrangements for the children and the financial settlement.
Getting help with a narcissist spouse
When you are separating or getting divorced from a narcissist spouse, you need all the legal and emotional support you can get. Your friends and family may not realise what you have been through and are currently coping with. That is because your spouse may present a ‘front’ to the outside world where they appear charming and worried about you and your ‘breakdown.’
First and foremost, there is no point in challenging what your spouse is saying to friends and family. If you do, then it is only likely to fuel matters as your husband or wife won’t be able to see the error of their ways as they are only able to see things from their perspective. That can be very hard for you to cope with. That’s why seeing a counsellor or therapist can help you see the situation you are in for what it is, rather than accepting your spouse’s interpretation of events based on their fantasy world where you are the only one at fault.
Divorce and the narcissist parent
When you are divorcing a husband or wife with narcissist traits or who has a narcissistic personality disorder, it is easy to feel very guilty about your children and in a quandary about what to do about childcare arrangements. Whilst your spouse is only likely to be interested in themselves, they may ask the court to order that the children live with him or her as part of their mind control games or because they know their stance will frighten you.
Whilst it can be tempting to say that a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder should not have contact with their children after the separation or divorce, this may not be realistic. For example, older children may want ongoing contact with the other parent, or you may need help with childcare. What’s more, if you say that you do not want your child to have contact with the other parent, they may raise accusations of parental alienation even though all you are trying to do is to protect your child from a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder.
If you and your spouse end up in court over the childcare arrangements, it is essential that:
Your husband or wife’s narcissistic traits are outlined neutrally, and
The impact of their behaviour on you and your children is fully explained. That is important because many of the behaviours of a narcissist amount to abuse, such as controlling or coercive behaviour.
In an application for a child arrangement order, the court must consider any allegations of domestic abuse carefully. Abuse includes emotional abuse or psychological abuse of you or the children. If a finding of abuse is made, then the court should only make a child arrangements order and contact with the narcissistic parent if the court is satisfied that the physical and emotional safety of the child and the parent with whom the child lives can, as far as possible, be secured before, during and after the contact.
An experienced Cheshire divorce solicitor can put the case in children proceedings for expert reports on a parent with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits. A psychologist or other expert can be asked to report on either the parent or on the whole family and assess the impact of the narcissistic parent’s behaviour on you and the children.
Many divorcing partners are wary about labelling a narcissistic parent an ‘abuser’, but it is essential to recognise that abuse isn’t just physical and the effects of coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious on you and your children. A specialist divorce lawyer can help you recognise that and work out childcare arrangements that best protect your children, or can robustly represent you in court proceedings.
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How to get a financial settlement from a narcissist
Usually, a finance solicitor will recommend that they negotiate with your spouse to reach a financial settlement or provide legal advice to you between family mediation sessions. If your spouse is a narcissist or has a narcissistic personality disorder, then the advice may be different. That’s because it can be impossible to negotiate with a narcissist, as they always think they are right and can’t see anyone else’s point of view, other than their own. To the narcissist, it is all about their financial wants and needs and not yours or the children’s needs.
If you start financial court proceedings, there is a court timetable put in place so your spouse can’t delay or prevaricate, and the judge can ultimately decide on what financial orders are made. No one likes to think that a judge will take control of the family finances and make a financial court order deciding whether, for example, the family home should be sold or if you should get a share of the pension or the family business. However, when you are dealing with a narcissist, there may be little alternative as your spouse won’t be prepared to compromise.
You may think that you know your spouse and that even if the family judge makes an order to transfer the family home into your sole name, your spouse will not sign the paperwork to do so. The court is used to dealing with spouses who won’t cooperate. If necessary, the judge can sign the property paperwork on behalf of your spouse. The court also has the power to make financial disclosure orders and to draw adverse inferences if your spouse won’t accept the authority of the court.
Narcissistic spouses like to think that they are very powerful, during the relationship and the divorce, children and financial proceedings. That is why it is so important that you choose a divorce solicitor who won’t be intimidated or fazed by your spouse’s behaviour. Instead, your divorce solicitor will focus on securing your divorce and obtaining children and financial court orders that best meet yours and your children’s needs.
Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice with experience in handling divorces where a spouse has a narcissistic personality disorder.
Contact us today and let us help you
Our latest blogs
Louise Halford
·
10 minute read
How do you Prepare to Separate?
It may surprise some people, but family lawyers are regularly asked the question ‘how do I prepare to separate?’
The earlier you speak to a divorce solicitor about a planned separation, the more the lawyer can help you reach an informed decision about whether to separate and assist you in making your separation as painless as possible.
For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.
Where to start with planning a separation
The obvious place to start if you are thinking about a separation is to talk to your partner, but although that seems the sensible thing to do, it isn’t always the best approach because:
You may need legal advice before speaking to your partner because your divorce solicitor’s advice on the potential child custody and financial settlement options may affect either your decision to separate or the timing of your separation.
Talking to a counsellor about your relationship difficulties may help you decide if you want to separate, to suggest couple counselling or a trial separation to your partner. Alternatively, counselling may confirm that you want to separate and start divorce proceedings.
You may need to take protective action first. This may apply to you if your partner is abusive, has a history of hiding assets, or you are worried that if you tell your partner that you plan to leave, they may take the children or destroy sentimental possessions.
If you do decide to speak to your partner about a separation, then it may not come as a complete surprise to them. However, sometimes a partner has no idea about what their husband or wife is planning, so they need time to accept your decision before being able to have a constructive discussion with you about the practicalities of your separation.
Talking to your children about the planned separation
Knowing when and how best to speak to the children about a planned separation is always a tough decision.
Some parents believe it is best not to inform the children about a planned separation until they need to know, for example, when the house goes on the market or when divorce proceedings are initiated. However, waiting to talk to the children can be more unsettling for them, as they may pick up on the atmosphere in the family home or hear things from grandparents or friends, but be too embarrassed or worried to discuss the separation with you.
In an ideal world, both parents should sit down together to discuss a separation with their children. That conversation can be challenging because you probably won't have agreed on the parenting arrangements or know if you will be able to stay in the family home with the children.
Practical steps when separating
Separating from a partner is very emotional, so it can help to focus on practicalities such as:
Temporary living arrangements.
Parenting arrangements.
The financial paperwork you need to sort out a fair financial settlement.
The temporary living arrangements
You should not leave the family home without first seeking legal advice to determine if it is the best option for your personal and financial circumstances. Your options include:
Asking your partner to leave the family home voluntarily.
Starting injunction proceedings to get a non-molestation order and occupation order so you can safely stay in the family home until long-term decisions are made and a financial settlement is reached.
Applying for temporary spousal maintenance from the court or for child support from the Child Maintenance Service so you can afford to stay in the family home until you can reach a financial agreement or the court makes a financial court order.
If your separation is amicable, then it may be possible for you to continue to live together at the family home until you reach a long-term financial settlement.
Whether you both agree to stay at the family home or one of you is moving into rented accommodation or staying with family, you need to reach an agreement on temporary financial matters, including the payment of household bills and access to the joint account. A divorce lawyer can negotiate financial support for you or support you through the family mediation process.
The parenting arrangements
The temporary parenting arrangements for your children will depend greatly on whether you continue to live together at the family home until you decide what to do with the house. Sorting out the long-term arrangements for the children may not be practical until you know one another’s housing plans and whether, for example, it will be feasible for mid-week contact to take place.
Most parents can reach an agreement on childcare arrangements. If you are unable to do so, then a family mediator may be able to help you resolve the dispute. If an agreement is not possible, either parent can apply to the court for a child arrangement order.
The financial paperwork
You can’t reach an informed financial settlement with your partner until you both have an up-to-date understanding of your financial situation. That may involve finding out things like the value of the family home, the outgoings associated with the family home, the amount you have in savings, or the value of the family business or pension. If you have a financial advisor or accountant, they may have some of this information, such as an investment portfolio document or draft family business accounts.
If your partner is not willing to provide financial disclosure, then you can apply to the court for a financial court order. The family court will require your spouse to complete a Form E document and provide financial disclosure as part of the court process.
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Understand your separation options
Before deciding to separate, it is helpful to understand your separation options and the ways to reach an agreement on custody and parenting arrangements, as well as your financial settlement.
When it comes to separation, your options are broadly:
A trial separation.
A permanent separation. If neither of you wants to initiate divorce proceedings, you may want to record any agreement reached regarding the family home, other property, and financial support in a separation agreement.
Starting divorce proceedings. During divorce proceedings, a court may be asked to issue a financial court order to record the terms of any agreed-upon financial settlement. If you can’t reach an agreement through negotiation or family mediation, the court can decide how your assets and property should be divided and make a financial court order.
It is often assumed that if you go ahead with a separation that you and your partner will end up in court proceedings over custody of the children, who gets the family home or whether you will get a share of your spouse’s pension. However, experienced Manchester divorce solicitors say that you don’t have to end up in court.
It is often possible to reach an agreement over starting divorce proceedings, the parenting arrangements for the children and the financial settlement through taking legal advice and getting your solicitor to negotiate a parenting plan and financial settlement or advising you about your legal options during family mediation.
Seeking advice on your separation can provide you with the information you need to make an informed and supported decision about whether to separate and how to best plan for your future.
For specialist family law advice, call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form.
Robin Charrot
Aug 06, 2025
·
7 minute read
Child Custody & Contact
Child Maintenance/Child Support
Children Law
Divorce
Parental Responsibility
Separation
What Children Want From Shared Parenting
In this blog, Louise Halford, a family lawyer specialising in children's law, examines what children want from shared parenting.
Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice.
What is shared parenting?
To some, shared parenting means equal parenting, where a child’s time is split equally between the two parental households. To the court and family lawyers, shared parenting is a more encompassing concept. A child can live with one parent under a child arrangement order but participate in a shared parenting arrangement because their other parent has contact and actively cares for them.
Take the case of two separated parents who parent 50/50 but don’t communicate with one another, unless they have no choice. The anger and animosity during their separation and in financial settlement negotiations meant their divorce was labelled as high-conflict. They are now engaged in shared parenting, but not in the spirit of it. Contrast their co-parenting with a Mother who has a child arrangement order and a child who lives with her 60% of the time. You may think that isn't shared parenting, but the Dad is actively engaged in all important parental decision-making, and both parents communicate with one another to provide their child with consistent parenting and routines.
As a children lawyer, Louise Halford prefers to use the broad definition of shared parenting as that encapsulates what shared parenting should be. It should not relate to percentages or the hours spent with a child, but rather to sharing the job of being a parent and quality time.
The court's approach to shared parenting
The court has moved away from weekend contact to an absent parent (traditionally the Dad), and nowadays, a child arrangement order with shared parenting is usual unless:
The parents engaged in a high-conflict divorce, or
There was domestic violence in the parental relationship, or
Child welfare reasons prevent shared parenting, or
The child is of an age to say that they do not want a shared parenting arrangement, or
Geographical reasons make shared parenting impractical.
Child welfare issues include factors such as parental alcohol or drug addiction, mental health, or other issues that lead the court to conclude that a shared parenting arrangement is not in the child’s best interests.
Shared parenting after a high-conflict divorce
It can be hard for separated or divorced parents to put aside their differences and focus on shared parenting. High conflict between parents can stem from:
One or both parents' behaviour during the relationship.
One parent has met a new partner, and the other parent does not think the new partner is a good role model for their child.
Difficult financial settlement negotiations, or one parent is unhappy with the terms of a financial court order.
Unwanted interference from extended family or new partners.
Children focused on creating parental conflict as it suits their agenda to play one parent off against the other.
The consequences of high conflict in shared parenting
Some of the consequences of high-conflict divorce in shared parenting arrangements are:
The children don’t want to move between the two households as it is too emotionally draining.
Children are embarrassed by the parental conflict and don’t want their friends to witness it.
The children work hard to fit in and be the children their parents want them to be during their parenting time – the children lead a double life.
Children mask and pretend that the conflict between their parents isn't affecting them.
Children act out because they are caught in the middle of a parental war.
Research on what children want from shared parenting
You would think it would be relatively easy to download the latest research on what children want from shared parenting and quote relevant chunks of data. However, it is far from easy.
A lot of internet searching led us to an article published in April 2015 in The International Journal of Children's Rights, ‘’A qualitative synthesis of children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post separation.’’
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Data on children's experiences of shared care parenting arrangements post-separation
The 2015 article in The International Journal of Children's Rights pulls together international research on children’s experiences of shared cared parenting post-separation from studies conducted in various countries.
Here is a snippet from the article that references two of the research studies:
‘’The line that differentiates sole versus shared care is arbitrary, adult-construed, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the children involved. Rather than a binary legal argument, children consider multiple factors when assessing the parenting plan that may work best for them (Sadowski and McIntosh, in press; Whitehead, 2012). Participants across the studies seem to favour shared care when they were provided input into the decision-making process, when parents respect and integrate their feelings and concerns, when the parenting plan emphasised and maximised their time with both parents, and when the plan supported a continuous and meaningful relation- ship with both parents and their siblings post separation and divorce (Blackwell, 1992; Cashmore et al., 2010; Lodge and Alexander, 2010)’’.
In summary, the various research studies referred to in the article show:
Living arrangements with flexible contact between both parents were the preferred arrangement across studies.
Children appreciate the opportunity to see their other parent and the flexibility to visit their other home when needed.
Children appreciate shared care that provides them with a regular routine and a sense of being wanted by both parents.
Children prefer shared care when they were asked for their views on how shared care will work, and when parents respect their views and the plan allows for meaningful time with both parents.
Children appreciate shared parenting that allows for flexibility, enabling the plan to be adjusted to fit the child’s priorities and commitments.
Young adults sometimes prefer to have one home because they want to concentrate on school or find it hard to study in a parental household with younger half-siblings.
Children get frustrated when a parenting plan does not allow them to spend quality time with one parent.
Some children, especially when parents conflict with one another, find shared parenting difficult. Some children expressed a preference for stability and a regular routine.
The type of shared parenting arrangement has a significant impact on how it works for the child. Some children took the view that an alternating week schedule with each parent was too disruptive for them.
The children said that sharing their time between both parents did not weaken their sibling relationships or adversely impact their childhood friendships.
Lessons from the 2015 research
The research studies in the 2015 paper tell family lawyers what children want from shared parenting:
To be heard and to feel that they have a voice.
For parents to work together to make shared parenting work.
Parenting plans based on a child’s needs rather than a parent's desire to have 50/50 time.
Flexible shared care to meet a child’s calendar of sports activities, friendships and commitments.
Shared care arrangements that adjust as children's needs change over time.
One of the key points in the 2015 article was the importance of listening to the child. In one study, a child described attending a school event with both parents. To outsiders, it must have appeared to be a successful shared parenting arrangement. However, to the child, it was awful, as they recognised their parents’ body language and the fact that neither was prepared to speak to the other. The article highlights that what children want from shared parenting is the real thing: parents who can communicate and share parenting responsibilities between two households, rather than high-conflict parents pretending to engage in shared parenting.
Shared parenting legal advice
Parents may need help understanding how shared parenting affects their children when parenting styles conflict, there is a high level of parental conflict, or when practical issues, such as distances between parents’ homes, make shared parenting difficult to navigate.
It is equally important for parents to understand the impact of a shared care regime on the financial settlement and child support arrangements. Whilst money should not affect the decision on the type of parenting plan that meets the needs of your children, for most parents, the financial impact is a key consideration. Where parenting time is shared equally, the Child Maintenance Service rules say that no child support is payable, even if there is a significant income discrepancy. Those child maintenance rules can make it difficult for some parents to agree to a shared parenting regime, even in situations where they get along, unless the ex-spouse is willing to pay child maintenance voluntarily.
When parents are splitting up, it's best to discuss openly with older children and the other parent the type of parenting arrangement that will best suit your family after your separation. Those discussions can take place jointly with the child, individually with each parent or with professional help. The help could come through a child-inclusive family mediation or family therapy.
At Evolve Family Law, our children's law solicitors provide comprehensive legal advice, ensuring parents receive the support they need to understand the financial and practical implications of agreeing to a shared parenting arrangement. If an agreement cannot be reached, we can advise and represent you in an application for a child arrangement order.
Call Evolve Family Law or complete our online enquiry form for children's law advice.
Louise Halford
Jul 11, 2025
·
8 minute read
Why Do I Need a Financial Court Order?
If you are getting divorced, there are reasons why you need a financial court order, regardless of your current financial circumstances.
In this blog, our divorce solicitors explain why you need a financial order, the types of court orders and how to obtain one.
For expert family law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Does a divorce end financial ties between a husband and wife?
Initiating divorce proceedings does not sever the financial ties between spouses. When you secure a final divorce order, the marriage is legally at an end, but former spouses can apply for a financial court order.
There is no time limit to make a financial claim. That’s why you need a financial court order if you don’t want to risk a financial application years after your separation.
The consequences of divorcing without a financial court order
Getting divorced without a financial court order increases the risk of future complicated court proceedings to determine the value of assets at the date of separation and to argue about the impact of delay on the size of the financial award.
If you divorce without a financial court order, your former spouse could claim a share of your assets even if they bring their claim 5,10 or 20 years after the separation.
If your assets could increase in value, it is in your interests to ask the court to make a financial court order when you divorce.
Assets that may substantially increase in value include:
Pensions, especially if you continue to make pension contributions.
Shares in a family business.
Equity in the family home or other property.
These assets can be considered by the court even if they are owned in one spouse’s sole name.
Although the court considers delay when determining what constitutes a fair financial settlement, it also takes into account the individual's needs.
If there is a small amount of equity in the family home at the date of separation, and you have a pension with a nominal value, that may not be the case in ten years. Alternatively, your former spouse may have had a well-paid job at the date of separation, but five years later, is unable to work due to ill health.
Do separation agreements end financial ties between husband and wife?
Some couples sign a separation agreement when they split up. The agreement may or may not end financial ties – it depends on what was negotiated at the time of separation.
Family lawyers always recommend that a separation agreement is converted into a binding financial consent order. This can be achieved through a consent application. There is no need to attend a court hearing to obtain a consent order.
Does a prenuptial agreement stop financial ties between husband and wife?
If you signed a prenuptial agreement before your marriage, or a postnuptial agreement after your marriage, you may think you don’t need a financial consent order because your family agreement prevents or limits financial claims. You still need a financial consent order, even if you have an existing family agreement in place.
A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement is not legally binding in the UK. It can carry significant weight if safeguards were put in place when it was prepared, and it meets the reasonable needs of your spouse.
Ideally, a spouse will agree to convert the terms of the agreement into a binding financial consent order. If they won't do that, it is better to ask the court to make a financial court order in the same terms as the prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, rather than wait and face a financial application by your former spouse at a date chosen by them. For example, when the value of your investments or the shares in a family business has quadrupled in value in ten years.
Does death end financial ties between a former husband and wife?
The death of a former spouse does not end potential financial claims unless there is a financial court order that says explicitly that all claims are over. Without this type of order, a surviving former spouse can claim a share of the deceased spouse’s estate. This can be complicated and awkward in situations where the deceased spouse had children or had remarried.
When you separate or divorce, you also need to review the provisions in your Will and take advice from a Will solicitor on how to avoid a claim against your estate.
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Does a financial consent order end financial ties between a husband and wife?
Whether a financial consent order ends financial ties and stops future financial claims by an ex-husband or wife depends on its contents.
There are three types of financial consent orders:
Clean break – ending financial ties and claims.
Deferred clean break – ending financial ties at a specified future date.
Non-clean break.
You may question why you should accept a financial consent order that only gives you a deferred clean break or no clean break.
Your divorce solicitors will negotiate the best financial settlement possible for you. In your situation, that may involve you paying or receiving spousal maintenance for life or on a time-limited basis.
Lawyers and courts always strive to achieve a clean break to provide finality and avoid further court proceedings to increase or terminate spousal maintenance or to capitalise spousal maintenance. This may not be possible where there is a significant income disparity between the husband and wife, justifying the payment of spousal maintenance, but with limited equity in the family home, nominal savings, or small pension funds. Where there are substantial family assets, the spouse with the reduced income can accept more of the capital assets (such as the equity in the family home) in consideration for giving up spousal maintenance claims and agreeing to a financial clean break order.
What is a clean break financial order?
A full clean break financial court order prevents all future financial claims.
A clean break means there is no risk that a former spouse will ask a family judge for more because your financial situation has improved unexpectedly or theirs has worsened. The only exception to this rule is if the financial court order was made without providing complete and frank financial disclosure. For example, saying your business was worth 3 million when you had received an offer for 30 million.
In some family situations, it isn’t possible to end financial ties either immediately or in the long term. For example:
To provide a home for the children, the family home will remain in joint names until the children have finished school or reached the age of 18. Financial ties will be severed when the family home is sold.
If there was a long marriage with substantial income disparity and insufficient capital to buy off the spousal maintenance claim, spousal maintenance may be ordered for the life of the receiving ex-spouse or until their remarriage.
What is a deferred clean break financial order?
A deferred capital clean break ends financial claims when an event occurs, such as the sale of the jointly owned family home.
A deferred income clean break provides an immediate capital clean break, so a spouse cannot request additional funds, such as money from the family home or a larger percentage of a pension. However, the order maintains income ties until, for example, spousal maintenance payments cease. The court order could stipulate that spousal maintenance payments will cease after three years, with the clean break taking effect automatically upon completion of this period, as the court ruled that the spouse receiving spousal maintenance is not entitled to apply for an extension of the maintenance period.
Is a financial consent order worthwhile if it does not contain a clean break?
It may be impossible to obtain a clean break financial consent order due to your personal or financial circumstances.
A financial consent order without an immediate clean break leaves you at risk of further court proceedings. For example, an application to increase spousal maintenance or to capitalise the spousal maintenance payments. However, if you do not have a financial court order, you are at risk of your spouse asking for an order that they get a share of your capital assets. These could include the equity in the property you own, shares in a listed company, your family business, or your pension.
Therefore, whilst a deferred clean break financial consent order or a non-clean break financial consent order is not ideal, it is infinitely better than having no financial order.
How to end financial ties with an ex-husband or wife
To end financial ties with a former spouse, you need a clean break financial court order. If you cannot achieve this, it is still preferable to obtain a financial court order, even if it leaves open the potential for an ex-spouse to make a further court application. Take the example of a restaurant diner. Without a financial court order, the diner can request a three-course meal. With a non-clean break order, the diner may be limited to ordering dessert or after-dinner drinks.
How to obtain a financial court order
Most financial court orders are obtained by agreement. The court approves a draft order submitted by family law solicitors. There is no need to attend a court hearing.
There are several ways you can reach a financial settlement, including:
Solicitor negotiations.
One lawyer divorce.
Family mediation.
Family arbitration.
If you cannot reach an agreement, either of you can apply to the court for a financial court order. The court will order financial disclosure, and after a series of court hearings, it will hear evidence and make a financial court order to divide the assets.
Our divorce solicitors can help you obtain a no-fault divorce and reach an agreed financial settlement or convert an agreement reached in family mediation into a binding court order.
If you can't reach an agreement, our financial lawyers can represent you in a financial application to help you achieve a financial court order that meets your needs.
For expert family law advice, call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Robin Charrot
Jun 24, 2025
·
9 minute read
Who Pays For Mediation Costs in the UK?
You may have heard about a government voucher scheme to cover the cost of family mediation.
In this article, we delve into the voucher scheme and answer your frequently asked questions about who pays for family mediation.
Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on how to resolve your family law disagreement effectively.
What are mediation costs?
Family mediation costs can be broken down into:
The cost of the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting.
The cost of each mediation session.
Any supplemental costs.
The Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is an intake meeting where the mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether mediation is a suitable alternative dispute resolution option for you. It may not be suitable if you have been subjected to domestic abuse and safety measures aren’t deemed to be sufficient to protect you or if you fear that your former spouse will take the children overseas without your agreement unless you get the protection of a prohibited steps order.
If the mediator believes you are both capable of engaging in mediation, some mediation sessions will be scheduled. Typically, each session lasts no more than 90 minutes. The number of sessions needed will depend on the complexity of the issues or your finances.
The supplemental costs of mediation can range from the expenses of jointly instructing a forensic accountant to value a family business or a pension actuary to value a pension to the mediator's fees for drafting a memorandum of understanding after a successful mediation.
Who pays for privately funded family mediation?
Usually, a couple will share the cost of mediation. This could be achieved by having each party pay 50% of the cost of each session or by paying for mediation out of their joint savings. Each party will be responsible for paying their family lawyer, who will provide legal support during mediation.
There are no hard and fast rules about who pays for privately funded family mediation. If one spouse has a reduced income or is reliant on spousal maintenance and child support, the financially stronger party may be responsible for covering all the costs of mediation.
Mediators are independent of the parties and of the solicitors who refer divorcing couples to them. The outcome of the mediation sessions will, therefore, not be affected by your decision on who pays for the sessions.
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What is the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme?
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme is a government-led, time-limited mediation payment scheme designed to encourage separating couples to resolve family law disputes through family mediation.
If you are eligible for the scheme, your mediator will receive a voucher worth up to £500 to cover all or part of the mediation costs. The voucher cannot be used to pay for the MIAM; it can only be used to cover the costs of mediation sessions.
The £500 covers both of you. You cannot each claim a separate voucher or ask for vouchers to cover separate children and financial mediation sessions.
Whether the £500 voucher covers all the mediation costs depends on the number of sessions held, but it is intended to be a contribution rather than a full payment. If a surplus remains, the money cannot be used to cover legal fees that support you during mediation or to pay your divorce solicitor to obtain a no-fault divorce.
For further details on the government scheme, please visit this link.
The main eligibility criteria for the voucher are that you must be mediating about:
A dispute regarding a child.
A family financial dispute in which you are also involved in a dispute related to a child.
For example, you need to reach an agreement on whether the children live with you, the contact arrangements with the non-residential parent and the divorce financial settlement. The financial settlement may encompass child support, spousal maintenance, lump sum payment, the sale of the family home, the transfer of property or the making of pension sharing orders.
Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on how to resolve your family law disagreement effectively.
Frequently Asked Questions on Family Mediation
What does family mediation do?
Family mediation is designed to help you reach an agreement with your estranged or former spouse or partner over a family law-related dispute.
A qualified mediator conducts the mediation. They facilitate discussion to help reach an agreement. If an agreement is reached, the mediator will draw up a memorandum of understanding. In some cases, this memorandum is then converted into a binding court order.
If agreement cannot be reached, the parties have the option of using a different type of alternative dispute resolution method to help them reach an agreement or to make an application to court.
What family law disputes can mediation resolve?
Mediation can be used to resolve disputes on the following:
The living and contact arrangements for children post separation
Whether a parent should be allowed to take a child overseas to live
New living or contact arrangements for children
Whether a child should be introduced to a new partner of mum or dad
Financial settlements after a divorce
Property settlements after a cohabiting relationship has broken down
Mediation isn't confined to resolving disputes between warring parents. It can be used to resolve:
Grandparent contact.
Step-parent contact.
Inheritance disputes where claims are made that a Will or the intestacy rules don’t make reasonable financial provision for the claimant.
How does family mediation work?
Family mediation works in a five-stage process:
Referral to mediation.
Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with each party.
The mediator conducts a screening process to determine if both parties are suitable for mediation.
Mediation sessions start and continue at the couple’s pace.
If an agreement is reached, the mediator draws up a memorandum of understanding.
There are several types of mediation and various kinds of mediators. That’s why it can be helpful to speak with a family lawyer and to discuss the options during the MIAM. For example, you may prefer shuttle mediation because of previous incidents of domestic abuse, or you may want to include older children in the process with a child-inclusive mediator.
Many couples choose to seek independent legal advice before embarking on mediation and in between mediation sessions. This is because the mediator’s job isn’t to advise on family law but to facilitate an agreement. A family law solicitor can provide legal mediation support.
What is legal support in mediation?
Legal support in mediation is broad-ranging and tailored to your needs. It can include:
Initial separation advice and answers to questions such as ‘can I change the locks?’
Advice on the range of alternative dispute resolution non-court options, such as arbitration.
Expert advice on the range of orders the court has the power to make and the likely range of orders in your situation.
Guidance on financial disclosure in the mediation process.
Advice on the need for expert instruction during mediation, such as the instruction of a pension actuary.
Advice on proposed settlement options discussed in mediation.
Help with converting your mediated agreement into a court order.
Assistance with sorting out all the legal aspects of your separation, such as applying for a no-fault divorce, drafting a new Will, or preparing a Lasting Power of Attorney.
Assisting with the implementation of your financial court order, including legal work, such as transferring the family home from joint names to a single name.
Advice on enforcing the agreement or court order.
Taking advice from a family law solicitor before and during the mediation process can help you reach a mutually beneficial agreement, as your family lawyer provides you with the knowledge and confidence to negotiate a settlement that meets your needs and those of your children.
Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on how to resolve your family law disagreement effectively.
Evolve Family Law has offices in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, and Whitefield, North Manchester. We also offer remote meetings via telephone appointments or video calls.
Robin Charrot
Apr 17, 2025
·
7 minute read
Legal Advice on Separation
If you are separating from your partner, it is important to seek specialist family legal advice on your rights from North West family solicitors.
Knowing your rights can help you separate amicably. Consulting a family lawyer isn’t an adversarial step; it's just protecting your interests and helping you navigate the next steps to life after a separation or divorce.
Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on your separation.
Tips on how to separate from a partner
Whether you are separating from a spouse, civil partner, or cohabiting partner, you need to talk to an expert family solicitor. Early knowledge about your separation legal rights is vital as the advice can affect your plans and timescales.
There are five key issues to consider when contemplating a separation:
1. Has my relationship ended, or could it be revived?
2. Can I leave the relationship safely?
3. When and how do I tell my partner I am leaving?
4. When should the children be told that mum and dad are separating?
5. How do I sort out the legal, property or financial aspects of my separation?
Has my relationship ended?
It isn't always easy to tell if your relationship has ended. You may think relationship counselling could revive it, or a trial separation may help your relationship get back on track.
Even if your relationship has definitely ended, some couples find joint counselling sessions helpful in achieving an amicable separation. Others benefit from individual counselling to help them come to terms with the relationship breakdown and move on with their lives.
It's common to feel grief, anger, shame and a whole range of other emotions when you separate. If your former partner does not appear as affected by the end of the relationship, it may be because they have already emotionally detached from the family. That doesn’t mean your emotions are wrong, but it can help you to work through them with a counsellor or divorce coach.
Can I leave my relationship safely?
Whatever the legal status of your relationship, it's vital that your separation takes place safely. If you have:
1. Lived in a relationship with domestic abuse or
2. You fear domestic violence when you announce you want to leave or
3. You are concerned about ongoing coercive control after your separation.
Injunction solicitors can help you secure a non-molestation, ouster, or occupation order to safeguard you and your family.
Family law solicitors always recommend taking legal advice on your separation before you leave the family home. That advice applies to you even if:
1. You are unmarried, and your partner owns the property.
2. You are renting.
3. You don’t have children.
4. You don’t think you could afford the outgoings on the family home on your own.
5. Your ex hasn’t been violent.
Leaving the family home when you don’t need to do so can put you on the back foot when negotiating a property settlement as an unmarried partner or a financial settlement as a spouse. If you have children, leaving the family home can be highly disruptive for them. Child support (and interim spousal maintenance if you are married) may allow you to stay at the family home until the separation or divorce is finalised and a financial court order is made.
When and how do I tell my partner I am leaving?
Telling your partner that your relationship is over, or hearing the news from them, is never easy. How and when you should have the ‘it isn’t working’ conversation depends on your circumstances. However, family lawyers always recommend talking to a solicitor first as their specialist legal advice may help you:
1. Decide on the timing of your separation and put a plan in action. For example, if you need an injunction order or the support of your family in telling your partner the relationship is at an end or in the immediate aftermath.
2. Organise your finances so you know how much income you will have if you are paying or receiving child support or spousal maintenance.
3. Help you understand whether you are likely to be able to stay in the family home whilst the financial and property aspects of your separation are sorted out.
4. Understand the likely parenting arrangements for your children. Temporary arrangements may need to be sorted out until future living arrangements are finalised. You may need an urgent child arrangement order if the separation is acrimonious.
5. Think about whether there are any risk factors, such as your ex trying to take your child overseas (this is parental child abduction if going abroad is without your consent) or trying to exert coercive control (to try to force you to stay in the relationship or to agree a financial settlement that suits them).
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When should the children be told that mum and dad are separating?
Talking to your child or stepchild about the end of a parental relationship is a tough one. Many parents delay the discussion because it is so uncomfortable, and they think the children won't pick up on the atmosphere at home, whilst other parents want to ‘get in first.’ Ideally, parents should try to talk to their children together, but that can be too hard for some parents or counterproductive if there is a lot of anger about the separation.
There is specialist help available, such as:
• Supporting Children through Separation and Divorce | NSPCC
• Supporting your child through divorce and separation | Cafcass
• Helping children through separation | Gingerbread
Legal advice on separation: How do I sort out the legal, property or financial aspects of my separation?
If you are contemplating the future of your relationship or if your partner has told you that the relationship is over, you need to speak to a family solicitor to understand your rights.
Talking to a lawyer doesn’t mean that you both need to ‘lawyer up’ and go to court to thrash out who gets custody of the kids or who stays in the house.
At Evolve Family Law, we offer a fixed-fee relationship breakdown comprehensive initial review. The fee includes a meeting with a qualified lawyer to discuss all legal and practical aspects of your situation, including assessing the best routes to resolving it. That meeting may then enable you to use family mediation to achieve an amicable separation or to understand your rights and not feel totally at sea, not knowing what is reasonable to ask for or how the next steps will pan out after you have made the decision to separate.
An initial consultation is equally helpful if your ex has announced that the relationship is ending and that you will need to pack your bags or that they will be doing so, leaving you devastated and wondering how you will cope with the children and the bills.
At Evolve, we know that any separation is painful, but we try to ease your pain by giving you the information and support you need.
At Evolve, our North West family law solicitors are:
• Local with offices in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire and Manchester.
• Specialists – we advise on family and private client law as we know what we know.
• Tailored and bespoke – with us, you get advice tailored to you and your family.
• Proactive – if you need urgent legal advice to protect your children or to secure an injunction, we have the specialist team you need on your side.
• Ranked excellent on Trustpilot.
Contact our specialist family lawyers for a consultation on your separation.
Louise Halford
Apr 16, 2025
·
7 minute read
Can I Force my Partner to Leave the Family Home?
If you are separating from your partner the thought of living with them in the family home whilst you get divorced and sort out a financial settlement can be distressing.
Our family law solicitors look at your options if you want your partner to leave the family home.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Family home rights
If you are married or in a civil partnership your right to stay in the family home after you have separated does not depend on whether you are the legal owner or a joint owner.
If you are not a legal owner of the family home you still have rights. You cannot be forced out of the family home but nor can your partner unless:
You or your partner agrees to leave
One of you gets an injunction order forcing the other to leave – injunction orders are temporary
A financial court order states that you or your partner should keep the family home or that it should be sold
There are two issues here. First, injunctions are a short-term fix and do not transfer ownership of the property. The second is that it can take a long time to get a financial court order so you may need an injunction before you secure your financial settlement.
It isn’t always easy to move out of a family home when you or your partner don’t have family living nearby or friends willing to put you up for what could be for over a year or until you can find somewhere to rent.
When you look at the price of renting a property on Rightmove and the limited availability of rental property you can start to appreciate that your partner may struggle to rent somewhere suitable or, if they pay rent, they may not be able to pay towards the mortgage or pay spousal maintenance.
You may want to look at timescales to see if you can speed up the process of reaching a financial settlement so you know where you stand with the family home and to make staying together in the property easier for both of you until the house is sold or the property transferred. It is possible to reach a financial settlement quickly and to record your agreement in a separation agreement. In any later divorce proceedings, the agreement can be converted into a financial court order.
A family law solicitor will talk to you about the information you need to help you reach a quick financial settlement. For example, you will need to know how much the property is worth, the amount outstanding on the mortgage, the monthly mortgage figure, if your mortgage company would agree to either you or your partner taking the existing mortgage on, and if the mortgage company would lend you more so you can pay out your partner an agreed sum as part of an overall financial settlement. The payment needs to take into account the value of pensions and any savings. It is also sensible to look at rehousing costs for you and your partner so you know how much you would each need so you can work out if staying in the family home on a long-term basis is the best option for you.
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Occupation and ouster orders
If your partner refuses to leave the family home while you are going through divorce proceedings and sorting out the financial settlement you cannot force them out, even if they are not a legal owner.
You may be able to apply for an injunction order.
An occupation order gives you the right to stay in the family home until a specified date. The order can give you exclusive occupation or say you can use parts of the house or share it all with your partner.
An ouster order excludes or ousts your partner from the property. They cannot return to live at the property until the order ends.
Applying for an occupation or ouster order
You need to apply to the family court for an injunction order. The court will grant you an occupation or ouster order if it thinks it is just and reasonable to do so after considering all the circumstances and factors such as:
Your housing needs and housing resources and those of your partner and any relevant child
Your financial resources and those of your partner
The likely effect of any order, or the effect of not making an order, on the health, safety, and well-being of you, your partner, or any relevant child
Your conduct and the conduct of your partner
The court must also consider the likelihood of significant harm and the 'balance of harm'. This means the court must weigh up the likelihood of significant harm to you or your partner and any relevant child if an order is made, balanced against the likelihood of significant harm if an order is not made.
If the court considers there is significant harm to you or any relevant child, the court should make an injunction order unless your partner or any relevant child is likely to suffer significant harm if the order is made, and the harm is as great or greater than the harm likely to be suffered by you or any relevant child (because of your partner’s behaviour) if the order is not made.
If the court concludes significant harm is not likely, it is not obliged to make the injunction order but may do so.
Getting help with an occupation and ouster order application
Our family law solicitors can help you apply for an injunction order, start no-fault divorce proceedings on your behalf, and negotiate a financial settlement for you.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Robin Charrot
Jun 12, 2024
·
5 minute read
Applying for an Injunction
Do you need protection from domestic abuse or coercive and controlling behaviour? Are you worried about your estranged husband or wife transferring money to their parents or siblings to try and hide money from your divorce solicitor?
If you need help with applying for an injunction order our family law solicitors can assist and guide you through the injunction application process.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
What is an injunction?
An injunction is an order from the family court telling someone to stop doing something.
An injunction order can stop:
An ex-partner verbally harassing you
A spouse from physically or sexually assaulting you
A partner from exerting financial control over you
A spouse from psychologically abusing you
The other parent from emotionally abusing or otherwise abusing your children
A partner from stopping you from returning to the family home
A husband or wife or civil partner from transferring the house or the savings to their relatives to defeat your divorce financial settlement claim
If you are not sure if you need an injunction order the best thing to do is call one of our family law solicitors to see how we can help you.
Do I need an injunction order or to call the police?
In an emergency, we would always recommend that you call the police. If they arrest and charge your partner and impose bail conditions you may decide that you do not need to apply for an injunction order as the police can arrest your partner again if he or she breaches their bail.
If you do not want to contact the police, they will not get involved as they say it is a ‘civil matter’, or they do not give you the sort of support you were looking for, then you may need an injunction order. For example, a police officer may tell you that you need to apply for a child arrangement order if you and your ex-partner are arguing about where your child should live. For example, the police may just warn or caution your partner about their behaviour. If your concerns are money-related, the police will advise you to talk to a family law solicitor about getting a freezing or family law money injunction.
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Common myths about injunctions
There are a lot of misconceptions about injunctions. Here we dispel some common ones:
You don’t need to be married or in a civil partnership to apply for an injunction
Men or women can apply for injunctions
If you are in a same-sex relationship you can apply for an injunction order
An injunction order does not change legal ownership of the family home but the order may give the injunction order applicant the right to live in the family home until the end of the injunction order or until the court makes a financial court order
An injunction order can be enforced by the police
You can apply for an injunction even if you did not report the domestic violence to the police
You do not need to have been physically assaulted to apply for an injunction – if you have experienced any type of domestic abuse you can apply to the court for an injunction order
You can apply for an injunction order even if the police have arrested or charged your partner
You do not need to own your home to apply for an occupation injunction order. You can also apply if you rent your house or if your partner is the sole legal owner
You do not need to have started no-fault divorce proceedings before you can apply for an injunction
Applying for an injunction
Applying for an injunction involves filing a court application with a statement in support and paying a court fee. If your application is urgent the court can agree to hold a first hearing without giving your partner notice of the hearing. If the court makes an injunction order at a without-notice hearing your partner will have the opportunity to object to it and put their case at another injunction hearing.
The court can make an injunction order that prevents your ex-partner (and if relevant other family members or their agents) from continuing to abuse you. This type of injunction is called a non-molestation order. A court may make a non-molestation order at a without-notice hearing but list your application for an occupation order injunction at a hearing when your partner is present. An occupation order or ouster injunction order says if you can occupy the family home and if your partner can be excluded from all or part of the property. The injunction order does not transfer ownership of the family home – you will still need to negotiate a financial settlement or ask the court to make a financial court order.
Family law help
As well as needing help with an injunction application you may also need assistance with:
Sorting out residence and contact arrangements for your child – if you are concerned about your child’s safety or your ex-partner’s ability to prioritise your child’s needs you may need to apply for a child arrangement order or prohibited steps order
Reaching a divorce financial settlement or a property settlement if you were in a cohabiting relationship
A new Will because of your separation from your spouse or partner
For expert family advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Robin Charrot
May 21, 2024
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5 minute read
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